Drama at work with the boss

okiss

One of my friends - Mary was in a similar position to you a few years ago in a job. Towards the end of her 12 month contract my friend was moved from the area she excelled in back to the area she was not as good in. Her boss bought her in to her 12 month review. Her boss then told her that her contact was not been extended due to x,y and z. She also told her I will be mentioning this if asked for a reference about you.
Mary stayed in the company until her leaving date as she wanted to get a lump sum of holiday pay.
Mary used other references to get another job. Now X number of years later she has end up with a far better life than she envisioned back then.
She said to me - work is part of life but not all of your life. If your not happy in a job look for another one. Some times it better to walk away from a job even if you don't have another one lined up if you can financial do this. She also said even if you ex boss was horrible, a bully or the job was poorly paid don't say this in an interview. Just say you looking to gain more experience, to work in a different area.
Also try to leave a job the best terms possible as you might end up working with or coming across an ex co worker at a later date.

AngryHippie

The same people you meet on the way up....you meet on the way down.

Learn from it. only speak your mind if someone superior to your manager approaches you.
Your out of it now.
Its very hard, but the day you learn not to take work personally and learn not to take it home, the stress and anxiety fall away from it and it becomes much more enjoyable.
You can still take pride in your accomplishments, and own your feelings about you unsuccessful projects, but get value from the lessons learned.

Sam Quentin

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Shortly after I left for home I received an email questionnaire from the company. Had a quick read through it and its pretty much just asking what I thought of my management, what did I not like about my time working there etc. Not sure should I be brutally honest. It will be sent to HR and not to my boss.

Quite simply say:- I was left in tears last week. The End.

Snow Garden

Snow Garden wrote: »

No no, don't respond to HR. Pointless. Treat them with the utter disdain they deserve for protecting a bully. They are just following process and will ignore what is written. The manager could simply rubbish it all and label you a troublemaker without you knowing. HR will always side with the manager/company. They will usually choose the easy solution (in this case, turn a blind eye). HR managers are often failed functional managers.

You have resigned and it sounds like you were a good employee and a loss to the company. Whether the manager likes it or not it is a blot on her copybook. She caused an efficient resource to resign. People know. Her manager knows. Her peers know. Her reports know. People talk. People remember. She could have previous and she will certainly make mistakes again. They will put 2 and 2 together. Her foundation is rocked now.

There's very little of the above I'd agree with. It's hard for a HR department to do their job if they don't get told.


HR will always favour the company (they pay their wages), but where you are mistaken is that objectives may be aligned. Of course having a poor manager is not in the interest of the company and HR have gone to the trouble of asking what the OP thinks.



Saying a HR department will take the line of least resistance may be a perception, but it's not universal in reality, even if it's your experience.



OP,



Re giving feedback to HR, ultimately your ex manager will put 2 and 2 together if you give them a bad critique. Do you need this person to give you a reference? If not it could be cathartic to respond to HR.



I agree with the person above that said your ex manager was buttering you up at the end, possibly because she knew HR would be on to you and was trying to win you around.



The glassdoor review is an option.



Finally, it was only a part time job, finish your studies and move on.

Sinus pain

In am so surprised atp the amount of people who have encouraged you to roll over. And no they weren’t sound allowing you to write a resignation letter - they did this to cover their asses - yo cannot sue them for unfair dismissal if you resign. What did they do to help you to improve and do your job better? How many documented meetings did you have where they have told you that you need to improve? You now have no job because someone in your old job is an asshole

Ash.J.Williams

OMM 0000 wrote: »

This is why it is very important to manage your relationship with your boss.

In your jobs going forward, make "managing my relationship with my boss" one of your daily tasks.

It greatly reduces the risk of this sort of situation from happening.

Making an effort to do a good job + friendly relationship with those in power = easy work life.

That's a very academic solution when in reality bad bosses cannot be managed... I had one recently... I put him in his box by leaving and now he is under a serious spotlight

rd1izb7lvpuksx

Sinus pain wrote: »

In am so surprised atp the amount of people who have encouraged you to roll over. And no they weren’t sound allowing you to write a resignation letter - they did this to cover their asses - yo cannot sue them for unfair dismissal if you resign. What did they do to help you to improve and do your job better? How many documented meetings did you have where they have told you that you need to improve? You now have no job because someone in your old job is an asshole

The OP didn't have a case for unfair dismissal as they didn't have 12 months service, and resignation doesn't mean you can't make a case against the company for constructive dismissal. However, in both cases, you need to exhaust the company's internal complaints process, which the OP did not do.

While on probation, the company doesn't have to give any reason for dismissal. The fact that they did suggests that there was real concerns about employee performance, as declaring the reason only weakens the company's defence if a case was brought against them. There's no obligation on the company to help an employee on probation improve or hold documented meetings. The point of probation in law and in practice is to see whether an employee can do the job satisfactorily before being made a permanent member of staff. If not, they will be dismissed, not placed on a performance improvement programme.

I don't think the company did the OP any favours by allowed them to resign (part of me wonders whether the OP was into their 11th month already, and the company realised that with the notice period, the OP would have 12 months continuous service, thereby making them much harder to dismiss - which resignation skirts around).

Wabbit Ears

I'm a little unsure of how this works but why would anyone resign if they were being let go? If you are let go you can sign on immediately but if you resign you have to wait a number of weeks?

I understand it's better for your CV perhaps and being let go may be seen as a black mark but really that's not enough to make me choose to resign I'd hope to believe.

Wabbit Ears

Wabbit Ears wrote: »

I'm a little unsure of how this works but why would anyone resign if they were being let go? If you are let go you can sign on immediately but if you resign you have to wait a number of weeks?

I understand it's better for your CV perhaps and being let go may be seen as a black mark but really that's not enough to make me choose to resign I'd hope to believe.

The OP is a student so wont qualify for social welfare.



The offer to resign was the company "being clever". In reality the OP was there less than a year so irrelevant.


I suppose the OP can honestly say they left and were not let go.

Strumms

OMM 0000 wrote: »

This is why it is very important to manage your relationship with your boss.

In your jobs going forward, make "managing my relationship with my boss" one of your daily tasks.

A boss is an employee. Just with different and more responsibilities. You can ‘manage’ how you relate to your boss but if an equal and considerate relationship is not attempted to be forged also on their behalf, bets are off.

One tried to intimidate me before and started when they took over “ while you are working for me you... “. I stopped them in their tracks and reminded them that I worked just like them for xxx company, just like they did NOT for them. That I would happily discuss any issues but the same standards need to apply across the team. Implying that the older deadwood can perform to an EQUAL measurable standard, can get to grips with the new technology we use and that I HAVENT been hired as the ‘go to guy’ or a ‘fire fighter’ and then to take the blame if things go tits up...

Bosses need to apply standards fairly and equally across the board. To be met by each and EVERY team member. No excuses for employees with ‘personal issues’ (leave them at home or leave YOURSELF at home until ready, willing and able to contribute) no excuses for older employees who are ‘struggling with the new technology’ (it’s not like training hasn’t occurred and they demonstrated desired competence...they know and understand).

Bosses need to be on top of every aspect within their team, from performance, inter departmental relationships etc... this catalyst for a successful team is crucial..standards set and applied equally...

Sir Oxman

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Shortly after I left for home I received an email questionnaire from the company. Had a quick read through it and its pretty much just asking what I thought of my management, what did I not like about my time working there etc. Not sure should I be brutally honest. It will be sent to HR and not to my boss.

Don't answer it.
Never burn a bridge!
Dump the shíthole to the back of your mind and good luck in your next job.

Nobelium

Pineapple1 wrote: »

Shortly after I left for home I received an email questionnaire from the company. Had a quick read through it and its pretty much just asking what I thought of my management, what did I not like about my time working there etc. Not sure should I be brutally honest. It will be sent to HR and not to my boss.

Don't waste your time. Bin it.

They just send it out so they can tick the box on their HR procedure that says "send out exit questionnaire"

A company with as poor a management as that are totally uninterested in any genuine, honest or constructive comments.

OMM 0000

Strumms wrote: »

A boss is an employee. Just with different and more responsibilities. You can ‘manage’ how you relate to your boss but if an equal and considerate relationship is not attempted to be forged also on their behalf, bets are off.

One tried to intimidate me before and started when they took over “ while you are working for me you... “. I stopped them in their tracks and reminded them that I worked just like them for xxx company, just like they did NOT for them. That I would happily discuss any issues but the same standards need to apply across the team. Implying that the older deadwood can perform to an EQUAL measurable standard, can get to grips with the new technology we use and that I HAVENT been hired as the ‘go to guy’ or a ‘fire fighter’ and then to take the blame if things go tits up...

Bosses need to apply standards fairly and equally across the board. To be met by each and EVERY team member. No excuses for employees with ‘personal issues’ (leave them at home or leave YOURSELF at home until ready, willing and able to contribute) no excuses for older employees who are ‘struggling with the new technology’ (it’s not like training hasn’t occurred and they demonstrated desired competence...they know and understand).

Bosses need to be on top of every aspect within their team, from performance, inter departmental relationships etc... this catalyst for a successful team is crucial..standards set and applied equally...

My point is you can work on your relationship with your boss to ensure your life is easier.

Neglect this at your peril - for both your happiness at work and your promotion prospects.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

My point is you can work on your relationship with your boss to ensure your life is easier.

Neglect this at your peril - for both your happiness at work and your promotion prospects.

Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't.

OMM 0000

beauf wrote: »

Sometimes you can, sometimes you can't.

I believe it's usually possible.

I know there are some people you just cannot get along with - it's almost as if you both are emitting an energy which repel each other.

But 80% of the time? I think making an effort can go a long way.

I see it as a game.

beauf

Where did 80% come from?


If someone in an office gets on with almost no one, they have a trouble retaining staff, and the other person gets on with almost everyone and has no problems with staff. I think its obvious where the problem lies.

OMM 0000

beauf wrote: »

Where did 80% come from?


If someone in an office gets on with almost no one, they have a trouble retaining staff, and the other person gets on with almost everyone and has no problems with staff. I think its obvious where the problem lies.

A manager who gets along with no one and can't retain staff is the easiest manager to befriend. She needs allies and likely is incredibly lonely at work. I love coming across these people at work.

The 80% figure comes from the pareto principle.

OMM 0000

OMM 0000 wrote: »

The 80% figure comes from the pareto principle.

Eh, what's the relevance here?

OMM 0000

Deleted User wrote: »

Eh, what's the relevance here?

Someone asked me where did I get the 80% figure from.

Previously he said it's not possible to always befriend your manager, and I replied 80% of the time you can.

Why?

I know what I'm about to say will be unpopular here, but managers are humans too. That means you can befriend with most of them.

I'm willing to compromise at 75%. Or perhaps 90%.

The point is, it's most of them. Let's not be weird about it.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

A manager who gets along with no one and can't retain staff is the easiest manager to befriend. She needs allies and likely is incredibly lonely at work. I love coming across these people at work.

The 80% figure comes from the pareto principle.

Befriending such a person solves nothing.

Its like trying to explain to someone who doesn't listen why they shouldn't put their hand in a fire. They have to do it themselves. Then they forget the lesson that it hurts. They just keep doing it.

beauf

It's this basically....

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog

OMM 0000

beauf wrote: »

Befriending such a person solves nothing.

Its like trying to explain to someone who doesn't listen why they shouldn't put their hand in a fire. They have to do it themselves. Then they forget the lesson that it hurts. They just keep doing it.

I don't agree.

I'll try to explain why I have such a strong opinion on this.

In school and college I was very good at exams. I didn't work very hard, but I got a lot of As. I went on and got a great education and started working.

Throughout my 20s I always got great performance reviews, a good salary, but I never got promoted. I never really understood this, but I assumed it's because I'm not smart enough, or not hard working enough, or just missing X or Y.

Then by accident I befriended a few senior managers, and I immediately got promoted.

This was an Aha! moment for me. From then onwards I made the primary goal in my job to be politics. I still of course try to do a good job, and I put a huge amount of effort into hiring the right people (having the right people makes my job easy), but becoming friends with those with power is my main goal.

The effect on my life has been unreal.

Every job I go to, I befriend the investors, CEO, COO, etc.

As a result, for the past 8 years I've been working either at a director or CTO level.

This is primarily because of the friendships I make.

Obviously I need to be able to do my job, but even if I have a bad month, or quarter, or year, my allies will look out for me.

I'm not a typical boards.ie user, I know that, but what I've done really works.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

Someone asked me where did I get the 80% figure from.

Previously he said it's not possible to always befriend your manager, and I replied 80% of the time you can.

Why?

I know what I'm about to say will be unpopular here, but managers are humans too. That means you can befriend with most of them.

I'm willing to compromise at 75%. Or perhaps 90%.

The point is, it's most of them. Let's not be weird about it.

Your making this about managers. In fact it's just people in general. Not everyone is a nice person regardless if they are a manager or not. Not all people are good at their job. Regardless if they are a manager. This is not about managers.

OMM 0000

I'll give a specific example. One of the investors in the company I work for is a billionaire. I go drinking with him. I treat him like a normal person and we get wasted. As a result I'm basically un-fireable now.

OMM 0000

beauf wrote: »

Your making this about managers. In fact it's just people in general. Not everyone is a nice person regardless if they are a manager or not. Not all people are good at their job. Regardless if they are a manager. This is not about managers.

I think the topic is about managers making your life difficult?

That's why I'm focusing on that angle.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I don't agree.

I'll try to explain why I have such a strong opinion on this.

In school and college I was very good at exams. I didn't work very hard, but I got a lot of As. I went on and got a great education and started working.

Throughout my 20s I always got great performance reviews, a good salary, but I never got promoted. I never really understood this, but I assumed it's because I'm not smart enough, or not hard working enough, or just missing X or Y.

Then by accident I befriended a few senior managers, and I immediately got promoted.

This was an Aha! moment for me. From then onwards I made the primary goal in my job to be politics. I still of course try to do a good job, and I put a huge amount of effort into hiring the right people (having the right people makes my job easy), but becoming friends with those with power is my main goal.

The effect on my life has been unreal.

Every job I go to, I befriend the investors, CEO, COO, etc.

As a result, for the past 8 years I've been working either at a director or CTO level.

This is primarily because of the friendships I make.

Obviously I need to be able to do my job, but even if I have a bad month, or quarter, or year, my allies will look out for me.

I'm not a typical boards.ie user, I know that, but what I've done really works.

What you are saying that if you make friends with someone they won't stab you in the back even though they've a past history of doing that with their closest friends and family. Like a paranoid dictator.

OMM 0000

beauf wrote: »

What you are saying that if you make friends with someone they won't stab you in the back even though they've a past history of doing that with their closest friends and family. Like a paranoid dictator.

They need allies though.

Generally it's not in their interest to screw over their allies.

It does happen of course.

Anyway, I've said my opinion on this.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

I think the topic is about managers making your life difficult?

That's why I'm focusing on that angle.

Actually it's about a someone who is unhinged and a manager.

More than that it's about a behavior that changed just at the end of probation. Which is highly suspect.

Sounds calculated and deliberate IMO.

beauf

OMM 0000 wrote: »

They need allies though.

Generally it's not in their interest to screw over their allies.

It does happen of course.

Anyway, I've said my opinion on this.

This is why they end up on their own, surrounded by enemies in some Villa...

Zubeneschamali

gimli2112 wrote: »

the one I feel most sorry for in all this is the person who replaces you.

They'll be grand for 11 months.