Obese, and unable to conquer it.

B0jangles

I lost a good bit of weight in the last couple of years and one really easy thing I did was install a pedometer app on my phone - it took about 2 minutes and since then I've gone from walking 'a bit' to walking 7+ miles a day - at this point I get restless if I stay sitting around for more than half an a hour or so A side effect of taking more casual exercise is you have less opportunity to snack - if you tend to eat when you're bored it can really help to just keep moving.

Good luck - I know it's tough, but it really can be done.

valoren

You're a teacher so you are a goal oriented type of person. I would recommend you keep a diary/spreadsheet of your weight every three days, that you weigh yourself at the same time of day and keep track of it consistently, you can see what your highest loss in 3 days has been, what your average 3 day loss is etc.
Consistent should be your new favorite word. Consistent notes, consistent exercise, consistent clean eating. With consistency you eventually develop healthier habits and something like taking a 5km walk isn't an ordeal but becomes a pleasure without you even thinking about it.

Another help is visualize your weight loss. Do you have one of those airport baggage weight hooks? You can use a plastic bag and fill it up until it shows you what weight you've lost. Arbitrary concepts like a pound, a kilo and a stone when shown as something tangible can become very motivational. You hear people moan about only losing 3 pounds but put three pounds weight in their hand and it's heft is tangible. You are looking to lose the weight equivalent of 2 16kg kettlebells. If you can, go to a sports shop that sell these. Pick one up, be careful as they are heavy, and imagine what it will feel like, how easier it will be to go about your day without having to carry the weight of two of those with you on your body. Other's have done it and there's no reason why you can't either. Always remember that.

You know the kind of foods you need to eat. The important thing is that it should be actual food, with the nutrition our bodies need and not processed junk which contains zero nutritional value. It's the rubbish junk that keeps the insulin in the blood trying to do it's job which is to reduce blood sugars. Eating nutritious food's prohibits insulin secretion and you can remain in a fat burning state. With insulin in the blood you can forget about accessing fat for energy, that's the crux of weight loss frustration. You think you've been eating well and you haven't lost any weight. Those one or three biscuits you might have after your healthy dinner being the culprit. When you abstain from the junk for a period of time you regain your taste buds and processed food starts to taste like, well, processed food

A combination of the above with consistent walking and the weight will drop. It won't happen over night but the progress you make will be inspiring.

Ellie2008

I don’t have any diet or exercise advice, but I just wanted to say fair play to you for how well you handled the awful teenagers are are tasked with teaching. I think that one day they’ll look back on what they did with the benefit of an adult brain & feel mortified. I’m glad your principal took action.

LegacyUser

OP people will offer all the usual advice on diet groups, trainers etc etc and thats fine, but I'm sure you've had it all said before. The treatment you've got from students is absolutely appalling and can I ask other than suspend that one student did the school actually do anything? Even if you find the right trainer/diet group etc etc it's not an instant fix. People spend years putting on weight and it takes years to take it off correctly, there is no quick fix. I worry that the abuse you are getting is going to damage what ever efforts you make to change. Your weight issues are your issues but peoples attitudes, especially students/kids can be particularly cruel about it. Often nothing is done because while the kids are wrong to make fun of someone its usually overlooked for fat people as it's your fault your fat mindset.

I would be speaking to your school principle about having workshops for the students on respect and anti-bullying not just in relation to weight issues but bullying in general. Your an adult so have the choice to leave and go get another job but what about overweight (or underweight, or too short, too tall, just weird) students who are being bullied and feel trapped. This isn't a 'its ok to be fat' speech, you know health wise it's not good to be overweight but mental health is just as important if not more so than physical. you need to be mentally in the right place to make life long changes. Honestly if I was getting that kind of abuse in work, I'd have quit long ago.

benneca1

Don't knock the keto diet on Jan 7th I WAS 115 kg as of today I am 86.5.
V low carbs no booze and combined with intermittent fasting. It can be done and is not so restrictive. It helps if you can cook and use keto substitutes for rice pasta bread and potatoes otherwise you eat pretty much as you like at meal times nothing in between and no sugary treats. If you google Jason Fung a Canadian doctor he gives the science behind it and all I can say is that it worked for me and wasn't too hard. Basically his theory is that obesity is caused by insulin imbalance and if you keep insulin low you find it easier to eat less and lose weight.

RHJ

I don't know why everyone continually goes on about keto. It is not a magic solution to everyone's problems.

The best success I had with a diet was a plant-based diet with whole grains what will really help you feel full is having plenty of fibre. One simple meal that was filling although not very exciting was spinach with peas and lemon juice.

This is one of my favourite recipe books because all of the recipes are simple and cheap to make.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Girl-Called-Jack-delicious-recipes/dp/0718178947/ref=mp_s_a_1_2?keywords=jack+monroe&qid=1557362619&s=gateway&sprefix=jack+mon&sr=8-2

And also

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Vegan-One-Pound-Meals-budget-friendly/dp/1472263723/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=one+pound+vegan&qid=1557362720&s=gateway&sprefix=one+pound&sr=8-1

SuperS54

benneca1 wrote: »

Don't knock the keto diet on Jan 7th I WAS 115 kg as of today I am 86.5.
V low carbs no booze and combined with intermittent fasting. It can be done and is not so restrictive. It helps if you can cook and use keto substitutes for rice pasta bread and potatoes otherwise you eat pretty much as you like at meal times nothing in between and no sugary treats. If you google Jason Fung a Canadian doctor he gives the science behind it and all I can say is that it worked for me and wasn't too hard. Basically his theory is that obesity is caused by insulin imbalance and if you keep insulin low you find it easier to eat less and lose weight.

That sounds impressive, no idea if it is sustainable but am about the same weight with a similar goal, do you mind sharing more details?

KikiLaRue

I would recommend going to six meetings of Overeaters Anonymous to try and get to the bottom of why you eat as you do.

thisistough

There’s loads of great practical advice here OP and I think that finding healthy recipes and exercises is relatively easy now.


The motivation, or more keeping the motivation going, is the element that can be more of a challenge for long term change and seeing actual results. Talking to someone professional would probably be a good idea to get to the root of the weight issues, but someone like a life coach could help with practical solutions with new daily challenges affecting your motivation and keep you going through those slumps while you figure out the underlying element.

I found when losing a large amount of weight that I did virtually no exercise and it was all down to diet. I did walk everywhere though. If you’re driving to work is it an option to park further from work and walk (this would also prevent any vandalism of your car). You could increase the distance gradually and your eventual goal could be walking to work a few days a week (depending on the distance)

Best of luck OP, you sound like a nice you and no one deserves to be bullied. I think that the school would be reacting more strongly of the behaviour were being directed toward another student and it may be worth pointing out that you deserve the same respect.



Tl;dr Maybe try a life coach/personal coach

JustAThought

Who does the shopping and cooking in your house and where do you eat lunch at work - do you bring in your own or eat from a canteen? If you can participate in a programme like weightwatchers or slimmjng world they really focus you by teaching you what to eat & how much to eat - something you are never taught at home or at school. You'd be shocked at what a normal portion size should be and no doubt if what you write is true you do not have this knowledge in olace or are not taking responsibility for owning and controlling it.make your own lunches & seperate dinners - your wife has enough to be managing with 3 kids. If you can get the whole family eating the same dinners sll the better but that might be hard with kids. Find a local or commutable weightwatchers or slimming world group and take courage and join it and follow their routines/instructions. You will see results immediately and stick with it. Start this week and by next week you will have lost weight. Intellectualising with surgery snd bodywhys and the like is all very well but unless you start you will not have success. Weightwatchers works. Find the courage & just do it. Start this week and stick to it. No excuses.

Sleepy

I'm down nearly 10 kilos since February 1st just using the free version of the MyFitnessPal app. Once my calories for the day are used up, I stop eating until morning and if I have a bad weekend (family over, a stag do etc) once a month or so, I don't beat myself up over it. At first, I'd frequently find myself out of calories early in the evening but as I've progressed, I've included more healthy meals and snacks into my diet to stop that from happening.

I'd tried the same app a few years back but got nowhere as it was pretty tedious trying to find the right calorie counts for foods but as their user-base has grown, the data behind it has improved to the point where you can even use a bar-code scanner to track your calories from packaged food!

TBH, I reckon the diet aspect of most programmes like Weight Watchers / Slimming World are little different aside from the group aspect which helps some and hinders others.

Richard Hillman

As said before, Portion sizes. Your stomach is elastic. I notice if I eat big for a couple of days then I'm not as full when I eat regularly after it. Takes a few days to return to normal. The less you eat, the more it will reduce.

Cardio. Nobody likes it when you are unfit but it's the only way to lose fat. Run in parks at night time, how you're not self conscious about people watching. 5 laps of a football pitch is 1.5km. Run the length of football pitches and walk the ends.

Get a pedometer. It will guilt trip you into getting your steps done for the day. Forget 10,000 at the moment. Try 5,000, it's actually not as much as you think.

Don't weigh yourself at different times of the day. It has to be the same time. The only consistent time you can weight yourself is when you get out of bed because you have little in your stomach and are dehydrated.

KikiLaRue

I think a lot of the diet and exercise is well meaning but misguided.

OP has access to the internet and already knows what he needs to know about weight loss/ has access to more than enough info.

What he needs to get a grip of is the psychology behind why he eats as he does. A few people have suggested therapy, that might help.

You have to get to the root of the problem. Then you can do the diets and exercise and probably see more success.

.......

OP first of all I want to say that you ARE able to conquer being obese - you just need to find out what works for you.

There is a ton of information out there on healthy eating and exercise (a ton in this thread alone!), but thats not the problem. If that was the problem we wouldnt have an obesity epidemic.

I firmly believe obesity is more of a mental problem than a physical one. If you can find out why you always overeat then you can figure out how to fix it.

I knew a lady once who ended up having gastric band surgery after 4 decades of obesity. She said she had never ever been able to lose weight, been fat since childhood. After the surgery she lost all the excess weight and the last time I saw her she was waiting on a surgery to remove excess skin. What she told me has always stuck with me. In the aftermath of the surgery she COULDNT eat except for teeny amounts measured out like medicine. It was then that she hit rock bottom and was not able to reach for her usual support - food. She was miserable, in pain, bored, upset, hating herself etc..

But something unlocked in her brain and she realised that she had been "using" food rather than just "eating". She said that there was no reason why she couldnt have seen this before the surgery - but she just couldnt. And once it was clear to her, she excelled at her post surgery goals and beyond. By the end of it she said that she had never needed the surgery, except she did need it because it unlocked the truth for her. A physical operation unlocked a mental clarity - or something like that anyway.

A trained professional, a good one, who is experienced in this area, should be able to help you reach this clarity where you can understand why you eat as you do and how not to.

silverharp

that might say more about going the bariatric route where change is kind of forced on the person . A key part of this is getting little wins and turning them into bigger ones over time, not eating a bag of Doritos today can turn into lots of good things 6, 9, 12 months from now all built on discipline and daily or weekly successes. Wiring someone's teeth shut or stapling someone's stomach deprives the person of "winning" on their own account.
At the moment for this person its going to be a constant cycle of negatives, bored, eat, lack of self esteem, rinse and repeat. The main thing really is that the person finds a way forward that's motivating , losing weight shouldn't feel like a grind, it can be a positive experience

.......

silverharp wrote: »

that might say more about going the bariatric route where change is kind of forced on the person .

Oh absolutely - and to be clear, gastric band surgery does not work for everyone. It fails for some people the same way other methods work for some and fail for others.

The point I was trying to make (badly obviously) was that it was a mindset reset she actually needed - and in her particular case it came from the surgery (yes it was forced on her), but it is possible that that mindset reset could be achieved from another source - hence recommending a trained professional.

Diet and exercise come after the mental shift necessary to lose weight IMO.

jester77

Baby steps OP, baby steps. Don't try changing your whole lifestyle in one go. That never works. Forget about all these silly "diets". They never work and just make you miserable.

Just take 1 thing and change it, stick with it for some time. Then introduce another change once the first becomes habit. You need to gently change your lifestyle over time.

For example, are you getting proper sleep? If not work on that until you have it sorted.

Do you drink enough water? If you are drinking a lot of sugary drinks, replace with water. You can add fresh lemon, mint, lime, etc to the water to help if needed.

Do you drive/take the bus to places? Park a little further away, get off a stop earlier and walk the rest. Build it up over time.

Look at your diet and be honest. Learn about eating healthy and find foods you like. No point cooking something you don't enjoy. There are lots of health options out there that taste good.

Introduce some of those type of changes over a few months and you will notice change. Take a photo today and put it over the mirror. Then take a photo every few weeks and you will see change. Forget the weighing scales as well, actually throw it out if you have one.

Best of luck and keep plugging away.

RhubarbCrumble

Hi OP, I see a few people here have mentioned Slimming World. I've never been myself, but have a relative who lost over 10 stone after joining. She had tried pretty much every diet over the years and said that Slimming World was the only 'diet' she did where she never felt hungry or as though she was missing out on food. She went from just over 20 stone (at 5"3') to just under 10 stone and about 4 years later, has kept most of it off. There were quite a few men in her group too, so please don't worry that if you joined that you'd be the only man there. That would be very unlikely.

I'm sorry about the abuse you've received in your job. Kids/teenagers can be downright nasty and cruel.

santana75

Op obsessive eating is physiological and psychological. You have to tackle the problem in both of those ways. If you just focus on the physical you might lose weight temporarily but then little by little, almost imperceptively, you'll fall back into old habits. Its why contestants on The biggest loser all gain back the weight, and more, shortly after the show ends. You need to figure out why you eat the way you eat, become very self aware. Food can be a crutch which people will use under the Guise of Being a "foody" when in truth they are medicating themselves with what they eat. If you're obese then I'd venture to guess that theres a lot going on beneath the surface and facing it will be painful. But thats exactly what you need to do in order to permanently get yourself out of this hole. Theres no other way out other than right through all that discomfort. The exercise and diet are in the mix aswell. I mean if you walk into your local supermarket with open eyes you'll see just how things are laid out. The high sugar stuff is stacked near the door and checkouts. The healthy stuff is off down the back in a corner. And its usually pricey compared to the cheapness of junk food. Thats no accident, neither is it an accident that these foods are loaded with sugar, saturated fat and salt. Theyre designed that way to get you addicted. And thats what happens to a lot of people, they literally become hooked on processed foods. Think about it, when was the last time you heard about a person who was addicted to vegetables? Doesn't happen because vegetables are directly from nature and nature knows whats best for your body. Junk food has a profound effect on your physiology, more so than you might think. It hits your brain and body to the point where you believe that you need these foods. But you dont and you never did.
Op nobody can do this for you, its your ship and you have to sail it. Theres no "Expert" who has the answers for you, unfortunately you are the only one who can get yourself out of this. Which may sound scary but its actually liberating when you know that you have the power to do this. And you do, even though you may not see it right now, you have. First thing is to get yourself off processed food. The more junk you eat the more you'll want to eat. Thats how its designed. But the less junk you eat the less you'll want to eat it and crave it. Your body will start to re-calibrate itself. But break the cycle first and foremost. Cut back until you reach the point where your diet is mostly natural. While youre doing this emotional stuff will come up and you will be tempted to medicate those feelings with food. This is where you have to decide whether or not you want to live healthy and happy or continue the way youre going to an early grave. Which is what will happen. Theres no two ways about it, being obese will ultimately kill you. But while its doing that it'll make you miserable aswell. And thats no way to live. Get yourself off processed food and go from there.

Mike9832

benneca1 wrote: »

Don't knock the keto diet on Jan 7th I WAS 115 kg as of today I am 86.5.
V low carbs no booze and combined with intermittent fasting. It can be done and is not so restrictive. It helps if you can cook and use keto substitutes for rice pasta bread and potatoes otherwise you eat pretty much as you like at meal times nothing in between and no sugary treats. If you google Jason Fung a Canadian doctor he gives the science behind it and all I can say is that it worked for me and wasn't too hard. Basically his theory is that obesity is caused by insulin imbalance and if you keep insulin low you find it easier to eat less and lose weight.

Any diet that says you can never eat X, is doomed to fail imo

Who want's to live rest of life without pasta

I know I couldn't

Obesity in men in general in my experience is hormonal, lots of older men are walking around with low level's of testosterone

.......

Mike9832 wrote: »

Any diet that says you can never eat X, is doomed to fail imo

Its completely unnecessary. You can have a full and varied diet without denying yourself any type of food and be a healthy weight.

maccored

I've been using vshred.com. Combination of diet (more of a long term change of eating than a diet) and exercise with video instructions for both home workouts and gym (you can do either or both). Theres a 3 month fat loss program which Im currently doing - its working great

IamtheWalrus

Haven’t read the thread so apologies if it’s been said before but I’d begin with understanding your mind. Diets are all well and good but they’re temporary fixes. Most people are fat because they use food to fix something broken in them, to fill a void. It might be unconscious. You could get trim, all could be going well, then you come upon one of life’s losses and you go back to your old habit of using food as medicine. Apologies if that is patronising.

Neyite

Children can be such little sh!ts. I'm so sorry that they did that to you and I would be deeply ashamed if I was a parent of a child capable of that kind of nastiness.

I know someone who gets anxious if they don't know where their next couple of meals are coming from. It's no use saying to her "lets go into town and we can grab lunch while we are there" the person needs to know where and what time lunch will be and then can relax for the morning. A cursory assumption would be that she is [in her own words] fat and greedy but she found out a few years ago that her anxiety over food actually stems from early childhood where the person lived in a European country that had post WWII rationing up until she was 7. The family were also very poor so Social services briefly stepped in due to malnourishment. She is in her mid seventies now and now she knows where that stems from was able to even do the 5:2 eating plan easily and found it easy to shed some weight and keep it off which has also improved a few health issues she's had.

So I'd suggest that you try a holistic approach. Firstly, get a full medical check up to make sure that hormonally there's nothing going on or that medications you may be on aren't contributing to your inability to lose weight. Also look at the emotional /psychological side of eating, some of the suggestions upthread are great leads to start with. You can tackle an exercise/food planning structure that suits you so you are doing it from all sides.



Wishing you the very best of luck on this new you journey.

SusieBlue

....... wrote: »

Its completely unnecessary. You can have a full and varied diet without denying yourself any type of food and be a healthy weight.

Exactly. This is literally the only reason I've been able sustain my weightloss and not fall off track.

OP, I remember waking up on a Monday morning feeling nothing but self pity & resentment because it was now day #1 of my diet and I could no longer have all the things I enjoy, like pasta, bread, chocolate etc.
This in turn only made me crave them even more. You always want what you think you can't have.

Many a Monday I spent depressed, looking at my bland chicken & brocolli & wishing it was something else. The lack of variety & blandness made it impossible to stick to, and I ALWAYS cracked & ate something I "shouldn't" within the first few days.
This in turn made me binge because "I was fecked now anyway, might as well start next Monday. Next Monday will be different".

I now eat chocolate & bread every single day & have either pasta or rice a few times a week. I am in the best shape of my adult life & feel strong and healthy and best of all, no single food or food group is restricted.

Foweva Awone

KikiLaRue wrote: »

I would recommend going to six meetings of Overeaters Anonymous to try and get to the bottom of why you eat as you do.

I was thinking the exact same! I get the impression your relationship with food is very negative and addictive, OA is a free option which will allow you meet others with a similar history at various stages of recovery. Would be well worth attending a few meetings and see if you can identify with others there. Best of luck OP.

silverharp

SusieBlue wrote: »

Exactly. This is literally the only reason I've been able sustain my weightloss and not fall off track.

OP, I remember waking up on a Monday morning feeling nothing but self pity & resentment because it was now day #1 of my diet and I could no longer have all the things I enjoy, like pasta, bread, chocolate etc.
This in turn only made me crave them even more. You always want what you think you can't have.

Many a Monday I spent depressed, looking at my bland chicken & brocolli & wishing it was something else. The lack of variety & blandness made it impossible to stick to, and I ALWAYS cracked & ate something I "shouldn't" within the first few days.
This in turn made me binge because "I was fecked now anyway, might as well start next Monday. Next Monday will be different".

I now eat chocolate & bread every single day & have either pasta or rice a few times a week. I am in the best shape of my adult life & feel strong and healthy and best of all, no single food or food group is restricted.

people are different, what suits you might not suit someone skirting with Type 2 diabetes for example. Or the fact you crave certain types of processed food is telling you something about that type of food, nobody craves steak and eggs, you eat til satiated and get on with your day. Some people could open a packet of Doritos put a clip on it and eat them over a week someone else couldn’t do that ,people in the latter category are best cutting them out of their diet and only eat them by exception.

SusieBlue

silverharp wrote: »

people are different, what suits you might not suit someone skirting with Type 2 diabetes for example. Or the fact you crave certain types of processed food is telling you something about that type of food, nobody craves steak and eggs, you eat til satiated and get on with your day. Some people could open a packet of Doritos put a clip on it and eat them over a week someone else couldn’t do that ,people in the latter category are best cutting them out of their diet and only eat them by exception.

Of course, and I agree, but its quite clear that OP is someone who is struggling. Advising he go cold turkey on a few food groups is a recipe for disaster, its not sustainable.
Maybe in the future, if he had a better relationship with food he could, but as of right now its a very unrealistic expectation.

Everything in moderation gives him the best chance of sticking to it.

silverharp

SusieBlue wrote: »

Of course, and I agree, but its quite clear that OP is someone who is struggling. Advising he go cold turkey on a few food groups is a recipe for disaster, its not sustainable.
Maybe in the future, if he had a better relationship with food he could, but as of right now its a very unrealistic expectation.

Everything in moderation gives him the best chance of sticking to it.

its not really , there are plenty of online groups with loads of people who have gone down some kind of elimination route or used tools like intermittent fasting and have turned their lives around. To tell them their wrong for not wanting to say eat processed sugar for example (which isn't a natural food anyway) seems unusually defensive.
Places like the US are getting more obese by the year on the mantra of "everything in moderation" and unsustainable low fat diets which going by supermarket labelling still seems to be what sells to the hoi polloi

SusieBlue

silverharp wrote: »

its not really , there are plenty of online groups with loads of people who have gone down some kind of elimination route or used tools like intermittent fasting and have turned their lives around. To tell them their wrong for not wanting to say eat processed sugar for example (which isn't a natural food anyway) seems unusually defensive.
Places like the US are getting more obese by the year on the mantra of "everything in moderation" and unsustainable low fat diets which going by supermarket labelling still seems to be what sells to the hoi polloi

I'm not saying its wrong, I'm saying its unnecessary for success unless there's a very good reason for it.
I'm saying you can include all food groups in your diet & still lose weight & be healthy, that's all I'm saying.

If you want to exclude carbs, sugar, dairy or whatever, knock yourself out. More power to you. But its possible to eat them all & sustain a weight loss.
And for someone who is struggling to stick to ANY form of diet or healthy lifestyle, it might be a more sustainable option than doing Keto or whatever.