What's the etiquette here??

Larbre34

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118141802#Comment_118141802

That is proper order.

Evacuating the bowels thoroughly requires a serene atmosphere of quiet contemplation. Any stress or clamour in the vicinity can make for a partial delivery and a messy clean up. More than a few of those can shorten life expectancy.

Spot on, Labre. Going for a good shïte can be a very mindful and life affirming experience if you are using your own facilities and avoiding porter and Indian food.

I think the more common complaint amongst some posters on this site is chronic constipation. Extremely pent up and tetchy individuals who appear to be irritated with everyone and everything.

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118142045#Comment_118142045

,Speak for yoursel,pal.

Spraying fine mists of scutthery midden in the exec bogs at circa 1030 most mornings….specially after a few packages of ‘Bombay Mix’ and a feed of ‘Aunt Rosas Genuine Mexican Tacos’ the night before.

Nearly had to call in the sludge cart after one of them, turned out the big one from accounts admitted to horsing a fistful of wetwipes in there earlier.

😫

Gael23

My doctor requested a stool sample from me so when things started to rumble this morning I got some cling film to catch it. Squatted over the throne and evacuated a fine lot formwd foul smelling specimen only for it to burst through the cling film so I had no choice but to flush the lot off to the sh1t farm

Larbre34

Thoughts and prayers, you'll catch Moby Dick next time.

Gael23

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118148695#Comment_118148695

Successful operation this morning. I’m sorry for the lab technician that has to open the sample bottle

Slideways

At our workplace on the last day of work we have to have a shower and change before we catch our flight home.

the showers are in the same room as the only mens schitter within 500m of the workshop. Was in giving the wedding tackle a wash as herself told me she would be waiting at the airport with a mattress strapped to her back and be dripping like a George Foreman grill when I landed only to be accosted by the foulest stench followed by the flush.

some phucking animal had dropped off a round of toxic waste that smelled like a child’s nappy mixed with burnt hair and boiled sprouts.

put me right off I can tell ya

Brendan Bendar

Had a bit of a ‘fizz’ on ,had she?

Slideways

Like a Finders Crispy Pancake

Did the old skin bus (minibus one would imagine) makes it way into tuna town?

Sgt Hartman

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118151989#Comment_118151989

Many moons ago in my old lab department, on a Friday afternoon with 5 minutes to go before I finished for the day, a canister arrived from the pneumatic chute containing a stool sample which exploded on impact with the collection basket underneath the chute. I spent the next 15 minutes having to clean the collection basket with strong trigene disinfectant and azowipes while wearing latex gloves. I also had to discard the canister containing the sample into a biohazard bin. Apparently there was a noxious gas buildup in the sample container which caused it to explode on impact. Sadly I was the sap caught with the job of cleaning it up :(

Nevin Parsnipp

Had a crakkin few holes of Golf today in excellent company and felt a pleasant "surge" below decks as I sauntered orf the 18th green.

Had a mind to injest a few pints of Arthurs Finest so trundled in the direction of our well appointed bathrooms as the bomb doors began to open.

Shouldda been more alert to a tubby senior with very flappy breeks exiting said facilities....

What I seen in trap 1 would drop a mature African Hunting Dog....I can only describe it as an explosion of vile smelling skutter...obviously "fired" from the semi stoop, "open hole" position.

The bang was horrendus and maximum spread was achieved by the particular firing position and "full court press".

Thankfully I was able to find space about three traps down and unloaded a smooth chump of nicely marbled midden...great see some of the corn husks from a meal 2 nights previous.

Spooled up and took my seat at the bar and was not surprised to see Majda our excellent Lithuanian cleaner hurrying by with a bucket and mop and a very pale face

Some people do not deserve to be Golf Club members .....

Brendan Bendar

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118182165#Comment_118182165

Good call Nevin….. just discharged about half an ‘Oxford Lunch Cake ‘ into the pot mesel.

Thought there was nothing ‘behind’ the original push, but she exploded like a bag of giblets and caked the pan goodo.

Fcukker raisins could be almost re cycled….feel well emptied though.

Dropped a weight class did you, Brendan?

mrcheez

wtf

dogbert27

I know this is the After Hours but there are some questions that shouldn't even be asked

fun loving criminal

I don't forget to pull up my pants, flush the toilet and walk to the sink to wash my hands.

It's disgusting not to wash hands after using the toilet with your hand up your arse.

EmmetSpiceland

And people wonder how we could be facing another lockdown?

Gael23

Only of its a good scuttery one where it’s all over my hands

fun loving criminal

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185338#Comment_118185338

I do.

How is it difficult to wash hands?

Pawwed Rig

Why does it matter if you're alone in the house?

Presumably when having a poo you are at least alone in the bathroom?

o1s1n

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185338#Comment_118185338

Is that the Royal 'We'?

growleaves

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185361#Comment_118185361

You're going to be touching your mouth and eating during the day.

Its for your own hygiene.

fun loving criminal

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185394#Comment_118185394

It's not even for your own hygiene. Typhoid Mary was a great example of someone not washing their hands after using the toilet, preparing food for others and making them sick. Even if someone wasn't making food, they're touching clean cutlery, cups, plates... They might even handle everything until they get their favourite cup and the next person comes along unknowingly drinking from a cup with microscopic shït particles all over it.

Samsgirl

Think you should ask in the etiquette thread. They are experts on all matters concerning bathroom habits.

fun loving criminal

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185413#Comment_118185413

I think you're fooling yourself if you think everyone is as dirty as you.

mrcheez

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185577#Comment_118185577

OPs name checks out... at least in regard to their door handles

didn't see ya OP. Although I have seen it in shopping malls. Fellas going for the Lincoln log in the cubicle, flushing... Opening cubicle door and exiting loo without hand-wash.

I can't speak for women obviously.

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/118185347#Comment_118185347

Pretty much when they believe in such Bart Simpson doctrine.... "nobody saw me do it"

Doe Tiden

Only if I do a ghostie, other than that I’m not a manky scrote