What's the etiquette here??

Extremely distressing news. I was up in Louth this morning playing Baltray golf club. Was on the 12th tee when I spotted some fücking animal wearing a set of tracksuit bottoms perched in one of the dunes just outside the club boundary with a length of brown coil hanging from his hole. Twitched the knees and away it dropped. Then he pulled up the bottoms and away with not a care in the world.

Played the last 7 holes in 13 over par. My game collapsed. Still highly traumatised and having flashbacks.

Lewis_Benson

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Extremely distressing news. I was up in Louth this morning playing Baltray golf club. Was on the 12th tee when I spotted some fücking animal wearing a set of tracksuit bottoms perched in one of the dunes just outside the club boundary with a length of brown coil hanging from his hole. Twitched the knees and away it dropped. Then he pulled up the bottoms and away with not a care in the world.

Played the last 7 holes in 13 over par. My game collapsed. Still highly traumatised and having flashbacks.

JohnnyFlashbacks?

hurikane

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

JohnnyFlashbacks?

Confirmed, back from dead.

padd b1975

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Extremely distressing news. I was up in Louth this morning playing Baltray golf club. Was on the 12th tee when I spotted some fücking animal wearing a set of tracksuit bottoms perched in one of the dunes just outside the club boundary with a length of brown coil hanging from his hole. Twitched the knees and away it dropped. Then he pulled up the bottoms and away with not a care in the world.

Played the last 7 holes in 13 over par. My game collapsed. Still highly traumatised and having flashbacks.

It was either Des Smyth or some Lucozade swilling society head.

TomSweeney

Deleted User wrote: »

Extremely distressing news. I was up in Louth this morning playing Baltray golf club. Was on the 12th tee when I spotted some fücking animal wearing a set of tracksuit bottoms perched in one of the dunes just outside the club boundary with a length of brown coil hanging from his hole. Twitched the knees and away it dropped. Then he pulled up the bottoms and away with not a care in the world.

Played the last 7 holes in 13 over par. My game collapsed. Still highly traumatised and having flashbacks.

unforgivable .... who are these animals ???

BlaktainPicard

Splattered a nice map of the Philippines onto the pewter in work this morning.
Had to excuse myself from a zoom call and made my way to the deserted jacks.

Let off some loud high pitched farts before machine gunning foul rancid arse midden on to the pan.

Sounded like a bolt of otters diving off a riverbank.

Followed by one more hefty clump of ****e that sounded like a box of boots being fired down a lift shaft.

Smell would have knocked out a masked up bombay sewer worker.

Lewis_Benson

BlaktainPicard wrote: »

Splattered a nice map of the Philippines onto the pewter in work this morning.
Had to excuse myself from a zoom call and made my way to the deserted jacks.

Let off some loud high pitched farts before machine gunning foul rancid arse midden on to the pan.

Sounded like a bolt of otters diving off a riverbank.

Followed by one more hefty clump of ****e that sounded like a box of boots being fired down a lift shaft.

Smell would have knocked out a masked up bombay sewer worker.

Good man Johnny.

BlaktainPicard

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Good man Johnny.

haha! no, just robbed his expressions from earlier on in thread!

Lewis_Benson

Holy Schitt


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=136003555123650&id=100553075335365

Lewis_Benson

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Holy Schitt


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=136003555123650&id=100553075335365

Heroic work.

Poor man must have been carried out of that pit in a wheelbarrow.

Bobblehats

So impressive they had to restrain it! The great monoliths of Easter island spring to mind

Aglomerado

Leviathan Log

BlaktainPicard

Dr Andrew Jones a Paleoscatologist !! Imagine that as a job title, he was getting really excited describing the peaty feel to it - it wouldn't surprise me if Dr Jones got his nose an inch from it and took a massive intake of breath, savouring every moment - the filthy kernt!!

Hotblack Desiato

A Scatologist knows his shít

A Paleoscatologist has known his shít for a very long time

padd b1975

Known as a "two-cocker" in some circles.

EmmetSpiceland

padd b1975 wrote: »

Known as a "two-cocker" in some circles.

Daisy chains?

Lewis_Benson

I'd say JohnnyFlash could give a run for its money after 18 cans of Guinness and a Friday night takeaway.... The filthy kernt.

Lewis_Benson

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

Holy Schitt


https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=136003555123650&id=100553075335365

Never thought of mounting mine, but that's a nice display board with bracket.
Nice LED uplighting, you'd have a fabulous focal point with the right sh1t

EmmetSpiceland

Lewis_Benson wrote: »

I'd say JohnnyFlash could give a run for its money after 18 cans of Guinness and a Friday night takeaway.... The filthy kernt.

Ar dheis Dé go raibh a anam.

padd b1975

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Daisy chains?

To produce such a fine example, one would need a hole capable of accommodating two cocks simultaneously.


Obviously.

padd b1975

padd b1975 wrote: »

To produce such a fine example, one would need a hole capable of accommodating two cocks simultaneously.


Obviously.

You been spending a bit too much time on 'one handed websites', Padd? Maybe paying a visit to the more exotic parts of the Internet promising yourself you'll just have the online equivalent of a Smithwick's shandy before hitting the road, yet finding yourself 3 hours later ordering triple brandy with no mixer?

Brendan Bendar

MikeOxsgreen wrote: »

Never thought of mounting mine, but that's a nice display board with bracket.
Nice LED uplighting, you'd have a fabulous focal point with the right sh1t

Knew a lad who appraised a particularly impressive bolus in the pot.

Fished it out intact, popped her into the freezer and then spray painted her a lovely lavender/ teal colour.

Was centerpiece on the chimney breast in a hermetically sealed container.

Had a hoop like the sleeve of an overcoat, they say.

Filthy kernt.

Brendan Bendar

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Knew a lad who appraised a particularly impressive bolus in the pot.

Fished it out intact, popped her into the freezer and then spray painted her a lovely lavender/ teal colour.

Was centerpiece on the chimney breast in a hermetically sealed container.

Had a hoop like the sleeve of an overcoat, they say.

Filthy kernt.

Teal was all in last year.
He was on trend.

Hotblack Desiato

padd b1975 wrote: »

To produce such a fine example, one would need a hole capable of accommodating two cocks simultaneously.


Obviously.

what in the name of sufferin' Jaysus are yiz scutterin' on about?

EmmetSpiceland

Bad dose of the “old man” farts today. The type you’d normally only see after a feed of stout but only had a couple of glasses of a Languedoc red last night.

These are real pungent ones, very thick. Came out with their boots on, as the auld lad might say. Not going down well, here, at all though. Tried to blame the dog originally but one escaped when she was out the back and the “jig” was up.

Might light a few candles to see if that will clear the fetid air.

gerrybbadd

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Bad dose of the “old man” farts today. The type you’d normally only see after a feed of stout but only had a couple of glasses of a Languedoc red last night.

These are real pungent ones, very thick. Came out with their boots on, as the auld lad might say. Not going down well, here, at all though. Tried to blame the dog originally but one escaped when she was out the back and the “jig” was up.

Might light a few candles to see if that will clear the fetid air.

I'm in a similar boat myself. Had an aul chinese last night, salt and chilli crispy shredded chicken, fried noodles, prawn toast and spring rolls.

Thick, is an adequate way to describe the farts. They feel like pushing snooker balls of air out with each push. The guts are giving loose, watery rumbles as well, a warning of things to come. I've already left King Kong's finger, and a nest of baby eels behind me this morning. There can be nothing left but smelly cocoa to come

Arthur Fent

gerrybbadd wrote: »

There can be nothing left but smelly cocoa to come

Rancid hot arse gravy. It won't be pleasant...

EmmetSpiceland

Well, I know what’s been causing the old man farts. I’ve had a couple of days of “Type 1s”. Lots of strain and then out rolls a hard little ball of shíte. Like laying little round eggs. Bloody rotten eggs by the whiff off them.

Not very pleasant but not the worst either. Getting a good “core” workout and that but once I up my fibre, and water, intake the system should right itself and I’ll be sluicing out some buttery logs in no time.

The real “upside” of it all has been the no fuss cleanup, one swipe to check, another to make sure and then up and at ‘em. The flop sweat from the “strain” isn’t pretty but a sleeve sorts that out. Still, wouldn’t fancy going more than 3 or 4 days though.

Picked up a jar of The Cultured Food Company's Kimchi over the weekend, and had half that jar yesterday evening while supping on a few cans. Excellent product, but approach with caution if you aren't a fan of the strong taste of fermented vegetables.

Slightly bound up today, but finally hit the facility around 5.30PM. I couldn't help but notice that my bowel movement was an extremely pale yellow colour - almost cream in shade. Has to be linked to the sudden ingestion of 150g of kimchi.

What was unusual was my movement didn't smell like I'd just passed almost rotten food through my digestive system. Especially when you consider the main ingredients are fermented cabbage, radish, anchovy fish sauce, chilli and garlic. If there were any underlying notes then they were of lukewarm porter.

Brendan Bendar

Deleted User wrote: »

Picked up a jar of The Cultured Food Company's Kimchi over the weekend, and had half that jar yesterday evening while supping on a few cans. Excellent product, but approach with caution if you aren't a fan of the strong taste of fermented vegetables.

Slightly bound up today, but finally hit the facility around 5.30PM. I couldn't help but notice that my bowel movement was an extremely pale yellow colour - almost cream in shade. Has to be linked to the sudden ingestion of 150g of kimchi.

What was unusual was my movement didn't smell like I'd just passed almost rotten food through my digestive system. Especially when you consider the main ingredients are fermented cabbage, radish, anchovy fish sauce, chilli and garlic. If there were any underlying notes then they were of lukewarm porter.

Hope you gave the rivet a good ‘clen out’ Doc.

Had a feed of that stuff and being in a hurry didn’t clean the rivet well.

Next crap was like the following morning and it was like shïtting thru a pair of tights.

Tag nuts were tightly soldered.