What's the etiquette here??

NeinNeinNein

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You can get a DNA sample from a butt baton. It’s how they eventually caught the Constipated Strangler.

Interesting, had always thought it was the sniffer dogs that cracked that case.

JohnnyFlash

NeinNeinNein wrote: »

Interesting, had always thought it was the sniffer dogs that cracked that case.

Think they had to be put down after sniffing out the evidence.

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Think they had to be put down after sniffing out the evidence.

And with only 2 days left ‘til retirement.

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

And with only 2 days left till retirement.

About to get a gold collar and all as a parting gift from the team.

iamstop

That's dog ruff.

Cartman78

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I wouldn't be surprised if there is "rifling" or something that could be traced like what you see on CSI.

Bolustics is the word you're looking for there

Hotblack Desiato

That's all very well, but strictly amateur hour stuff compared to the East German Stasi.

They trained their sniffer dogs with used pants, seat cushions and the like to trace their quarry.

Reckon it wasn't safe to fart within 50km of the Berlin Wall lest you be done for sedition.

Most of us here would have had no chance, and spent years in the Gulags.

Dangerous times. Toilet paper was in short supply, decent food and drink rationed, any dissent against the regime recorded and they had the sniffer dogs recording your farts for your unique "signature" in case you tried to escape.

Hotblack Desiato

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

That's all very well, but strictly amateur hour stuff compared to the East German Stasi.

They trained their sniffer dogs with used pants, seat cushions and the like to trace their quarry.

Reckon it wasn't safe to fart within 50km of the Berlin Wall lest you be done for sedition.

Most of us here would have had no chance, and spent years in the Gulags.

Dangerous times. Toilet paper was in short supply, decent food and drink rationed, any dissent against the regime recorded and they had the sniffer dogs recording your farts for your unique "signature" in case you tried to escape.

The dreaded Fenthunde.

partyguinness

Furloughed the staff end of March and Accounts Lady who sits just the other side of the jacks works from home. Just myself and co owner here who is 73.

The old lad is so paranoid about C19 he has taken to using the women's toilet. So now I have the added bonus of a toilet all to myself.

I can drop anchor in peace plus I started taking Omega 3 oil 4 weeks ago. Some fine specimens being produced- solid, smooth and a decent 12-15 inches at times. No pressure makes a big difference. Indeed I can safely say the last few weeks has seen some on my finest work ever. Those payloads where you can actually feel inside leaving the hold as it descends to its watery grave.

I don't even have to flush 3-4 times. Sure I can just leave it there and deal with it later on.

Great times.

JohnnyFlash

partyguinness wrote: »

I can drop anchor in peace plus I started taking Omega 3 oil 4 weeks ago. Some fine specimens being produced- solid, smooth and a decent 12-15 inches at times.

You obviously aren’t knocking back the cans of Guinness if you’re dropping specimens like that into the privy.

JohnnyFlash

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

That's all very well, but strictly amateur hour stuff compared to the East German Stasi.

They trained their sniffer dogs with used pants, seat cushions and the like to trace their quarry.

Reckon it wasn't safe to fart within 50km of the Berlin Wall lest you be done for sedition.

Most of us here would have had no chance, and spent years in the Gulags.

Dangerous times. Toilet paper was in short supply, decent food and drink rationed, any dissent against the regime recorded and they had the sniffer dogs recording your farts for your unique "signature" in case you tried to escape.

Did they also sniff bicycle seats I wonder? A canine Clinton Dennison.

EmmetSpiceland

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

Did they also sniff bicycle seats I wonder? A canine Clinton Dennison.

Heard poor Clint got “banged up” recently, J. Went a bit mad without being able to get down to his, usual, “snurgling”.

A proper dirty kernt. Although, his “crime” was, indeed, victimless.

Hotblack Desiato

Dunno about that, E, I mean if you inhale someone's fart molecules, are they the owner's property? Or do those rights cease once freely distributed into the public domain as it were. Better get onto the Legal Discussion forum for a learned opinion...

partyguinness wrote: »

I can drop anchor in peace plus I started taking Omega 3 oil 4 weeks ago. Some fine specimens being produced

You swallow this stuff, right?

sligojoek

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Dunno about that, E, I mean if you inhale someone's fart molecules, are they the owner's property? Or do those rights cease once freely distributed into the public domain as it were. Better get onto the Legal Discussion forum for a learned opinion...



You swallow this stuff, right?

I got it in suppository form but I might as well have stuck it up me ar$e for all the good it done.

partyguinness

JohnnyFlash wrote: »

You obviously aren’t knocking back the cans of Guinness if you’re dropping specimens like that into the privy.

That is a 'solid' observation.

No Guinness has passed my lips since the Ire v Eng 6N game.

partyguinness

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

You swallow this stuff, right?

Yes. It was remiss of me not to point that out.

Injecting fish oil up your arse may be good for certain activities but probably not general good health.

NeinNeinNein

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

...if you inhale someone's fart molecules, are they the owner's property? Or do those rights cease once freely distributed into the public domain as it were.

Surely this matter is addressed in the rules of consent? I havn't read them.

JohnnyFlash

EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

Heard poor Clint got “banged up” recently, J. Went a bit mad without being able to get down to his, usual, “snurgling”.

A proper dirty kernt. Although, his “crime” was, indeed, victimless.

Turns out he was locked up. Dirty fücker. A menace to society.

Brendan Bendar

Not a lot going for the poor lad,John, I think we will have to agree.

Might slip down to Pennies when they open up and purchase a pack of wispies, give them a good rattle against a sourish, well clagged dump valve and post them on.....from Amanda, seen you on the paper, thought you looked great, these are after the hen night in Grimbsy,careful of the Scotch Bonnett skins.

Poor fcuker deserves a break?

Hotblack Desiato

Brendan, you could make a fortune on amazon.jp with that sort of racket.

Brendan Bendar

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

Brendan, you could make a fortune on amazon.jp with that sort of racket.

Might be a tad .. herrmph...broad on the beam for that market H.

Go for the more petite fit there, I’m told.

Little drizzle of olive oil in the gusset area.......not a walked in Hob-Nob.

Different strokes H

Flavour Diaper

Hi guys, just a quickie. Any ideas for a small portable box to keep some private items inside? I can't stress enough I don't want her seeing them. I definitely want something that uses a key rather than a combination lock, as she would happily spend hours twiddling with rings to reveal my number. I had a look at portable safes on Amazon but they are pricey, and she will easily slip her fingers inside a cash box ???

Pintman Paddy Losty

Flavour Diaper wrote: »

Hi guys, just a quickie. Any ideas for a small portable box to keep some private items inside? I can't stress enough I don't want her seeing them. I definitely want something that uses a key rather than a combination lock, as she would happily spend hours twiddling with rings to reveal my number. I had a look at portable safes on Amazon but they are pricey, and she will easily slip her fingers inside a cash box ???

What are you looking to hide hombre?

Cartman78

From previous posts on here about "storage", I think a regular tupperware container normally does the job

fuerte1976

And or clingfilm.

Mind you, that would depend on the viscosity of said item..

EmmetSpiceland

Flavour Diaper wrote: »

Hi guys, just a quickie. Any ideas for a small portable box to keep some private items inside? I can't stress enough I don't want her seeing them. I definitely want something that uses a key rather than a combination lock, as she would happily spend hours twiddling with rings to reveal my number. I had a look at portable safes on Amazon but they are pricey, and she will easily slip her fingers inside a cash box ???

‘Master Lock’ do a very good, fire and water proof, security safe.

What I would recommend you do is to purchase one of these. Place your, sensitive, “items” inside and then place the locked box inside a suitcase that, also, has a combination lock.

Actually, I would do this twice. Store the first one, containing nothing “incriminating”, somewhere that isn’t very “well hidden” but store the other at the very back of the attic, possibly behind the water tank, and certainly covered with some insulation.

sligojoek

Back of the freezer. It's the last place she'd think of looking

gerrybbadd

You could do a "top decker" either. Wrap the "offending item" up in some cling film, and then insert that into one of those air tight zip lock bags. Lift the lid of your cistern, and let her loose.

She definitely will not look in there.

fuerte1976

Wonder what the Flash might advise?
Is he back off the naughty step yet I wonder...

This place feels empty - a bit like me this fine day.

Brendan Bendar

fuerte1976 wrote: »

Wonder what the Flash might advise?
Is he back off the naughty step yet I wonder...

This place feels empty - a bit like me this fine day.

Saw a rather florid lad in an Oxblood coloured,well filled trousers, staggering around Portumna yesterday...

Swarm of flies orbiting around the arse of his trousers.

Could be our man.........