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What would you do

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    #32
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,108 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    Hal3000 wrote: »
    As a parent of 2 kids I think coaches shouting at the children calling them F*ckin edjits is not such a big deal. It can help prepare them for the tough road ahead. However, pushing a kid to the ground is a step too far.

    are you for real ? Is there any need to use crude bad language with kids .? Absolutely not .


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    #33
    jlm29
    Registered Users Posts: 3,818 ✭✭✭jlm29


    Hal3000 wrote: »
    As a parent of 2 kids I think coaches shouting at the children calling them F*ckin edjits is not such a big deal. It can help prepare them for the tough road ahead. However, pushing a kid to the ground is a step too far.

    What tough road though? Kids need to learn, from adults, that it’s not ok to talk to people like that. If my 7 year old was heard in school next week calling someone a “f**kin idiot”, you can be sure the principal would be on the phone to me. It might be said in secondary school, but I doubt it would go un-reprimanded. If someone in my professional life called me a “f**ckin idiot”, it would not be acceptable either. So why do kids need to be prepared for something that is generally unacceptable in the real world


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    #34
    nikkibikki
    Registered Users Posts: 1,226 ✭✭✭nikkibikki


    Hal3000 wrote: »
    As a parent of 2 kids I think coaches shouting at the children calling them F*ckin edjits is not such a big deal. It can help prepare them for the tough road ahead. However, pushing a kid to the ground is a step too far.

    When they get to 10/12 ish, maybe yes as they should have a bit of cop on at that stage to know its a swear word. But at 8, nope.

    The CPO in our club would hit the roof at the coach and I'd imagine he'd be immediately suspended. Yes the coach is a volunteer giving up his time for free but that doesn't exonerate him from wrong doing. And this is all kinds of wrong.


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    #35
    granturismo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,899 ✭✭✭granturismo


    Johnson_76 wrote: »
    If your eight year old was pushed to the ground by the coach at GAA training and told to sit out. Child was scared.

    This coach regularly calls them "fkn idiots". I am not happy with him placing his hands on him though. But, then we have rural community, GAA is God etc etc... I'm a bit stuck, advice appreciated

    This mentor has to have completed a child protection course or else he shouldnt be coaching. At this course, he has been told that verbal abuse and physical contact with a child is not acceptable. I was a mentor for juvenile teams for 8 years.

    You need to talk to the club child protection officer now. If it was me, I would also be having a few words with this 'mentor'.

    If the club do not deal with this alleged breach of child protection they are opening pandoras box if this is not handled by the child protection officer.

    What happened before your son was pushed, its not relevant to the mentor's behaviour but you should know.


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    #36
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,120 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Before everyone loses their mind, did you actually hear what the coach said and witnessed the push to the ground or are we relying on the testimony of an 8yr old to make assault and abuse allegations against the coach.
    Talk to the coach yourself and see what happened.


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    #37
    Snow Garden
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭Snow Garden


    I coach at underage and this is all wrong. If true, this guy should never coach children again. No question about it.
    Speak to the CPO and chairperson about removing this idiot asap.


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    #38
    Snow Garden
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,126 ✭✭✭Snow Garden


    lawred2 wrote: »
    Given everything that's happened in this country with institutional, sporting and leisure organisations it beggars belief someone would still come out with statements this stupid

    +1000

    Zero tolerance.


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    #39
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    Considering the responses of some on this thread zero lessons have been learned about the protection of children. As for toughing up kids what does that do? only encourages them to behave in the same abusive manner as referred to by the coach on Claire Byrne.


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    #40
    Johnson_76
    Registered Users Posts: 90 ✭✭Johnson_76


    Thanks for all the responses. Yes there was another trainer there, I just know they will stick up for each other.

    I have spoken to my son and while he can mess, can't all kids. On this occasion I don't think he was catching the ball "correctly" which led to this push.

    I used to train GAA myself and have done the courses. I know it's a tough hour, it's not for me. But I cannot imagine pushing a child. I'm afraid of the backlash from the community here. That's all.


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    #41
    lazygal
    Registered Users Posts: 12,644 ✭✭✭✭lazygal


    Johnson_76 wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses. Yes there was another trainer there, I just know they will stick up for each other.

    I have spoken to my son and while he can mess, can't all kids. On this occasion I don't think he was catching the ball "correctly" which led to this push.

    I used to train GAA myself and have done the courses. I know it's a tough hour, it's not for me. But I cannot imagine pushing a child. I'm afraid of the backlash from the community here. That's all.
    Your child is your priority, not a community which is OK with child abuse because its linked to the gaa.


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    #42
    iamwhoiam
    Registered Users Posts: 16,108 ✭✭✭✭iamwhoiam


    Johnson_76 wrote: »
    Thanks for all the responses. Yes there was another trainer there, I just know they will stick up for each other.

    I have spoken to my son and while he can mess, can't all kids. On this occasion I don't think he was catching the ball "correctly" which led to this push.

    I used to train GAA myself and have done the courses. I know it's a tough hour, it's not for me. But I cannot imagine pushing a child. I'm afraid of the backlash from the community here. That's all.

    You are yours sons voice so speak up for him . The community are not your priority


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    #43
    0lordy
    Registered Users Posts: 366 ✭✭0lordy


    I was involved in a case a few years back regarding a coach being abusive towards kids. Turned out there was no parent that could directly validate what was alleged.

    If it was me, I would observe how a training session is being run. If the coach does either of the things you have mentioned, that's a problem. If he is coaching by himself, that's also a problem.

    I appreciate that the guy is a volunteer, but as a coach of 2 different codes, I would expect to be called to task if I behaved in that manner.


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    #44
    Ilovethe bonesofyou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,688 ✭✭✭Ilovethe bonesofyou


    Charles Ingles wrote:
    Still a volunteer, and I'm sure the story will change when she speaks to him. Also parents should remain at training to support and show an interest in their child


    It doesn't matter a sh!te if he's a volunteer. He has no right to lay a hand on your child.


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    #45
    drunkmonkey
    Registered Users Posts: 28,120 ✭✭✭✭drunkmonkey


    Ilovethe bonesofyou wrote: »
    It doesn't matter a sh!te if he's a volunteer. He has no right to lay a hand on your child.

    He's training him to run around after other lads with a stick in his hand.


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    #46
    eurokev
    Registered Users Posts: 964 ✭✭✭eurokev


    If I was the trainer and you came to me complaining about that, I wouldn't want anything more to do with you or your son and you could go and find another club as far as I was concerned.

    I highly doubt the trainer went over and violently pushed him or anything of the sort. There is no context here and we are relying on information from an 8 year old.

    I remember playing in primary school and we had a great hurling trainer. When playing games or doing drills he would regularly get in our way, knock us off balance, push us, pull at our hurleys or jerseys etc.. He trained us when we were much older too and did the same things. These are all parts of the game that he was teaching us to handle.

    Gaa is a hard sport, in another year or two your son will be coming up against lads giving him plenty of belts, a lot of which will be dirty. What are you going to do then??


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    #47
    Ilovethe bonesofyou
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,688 ✭✭✭Ilovethe bonesofyou


    drunkmonkey wrote:
    He's training him to run around after other lads with a stick in his hand.


    And your point is?


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    #48
    granturismo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,899 ✭✭✭granturismo


    drunkmonkey wrote: »
    He's training him to run around after other lads with a stick in his hand.

    The GAA has moved on.

    https://www.gaa.ie/the-gaa/child-welfare-and-protection/code-of-behaviour

    CONDUCT OF COACHES WHEN WORKING WITH YOUNG PEOPLE
    • The use of any form of physical punishment is prohibited as is any form of physical response to misbehaviour, unless it is by way of restraint.


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    #49
    spurious
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 27,142 CMod ✭✭✭✭spurious


    The kids are 8 ffs. It should be about having fun and enjoying the game. Skills can come later. Not catching the ball correctly...Jesus wept.


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    #50
    granturismo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,899 ✭✭✭granturismo


    B-D-P-- wrote: »
    Jesus ****ing christ, Lets jump the gun and call the gaa a community of pedos while we're at it.

    Said no one in this thread.


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    #51
    JustJoe7240
    Registered Users Posts: 1,443 ✭✭✭JustJoe7240


    Johnson_76 wrote: »

    I have spoken to my son and while he can mess, can't all kids. On this occasion I don't think he was catching the ball "correctly" which led to this push.

    Using your own judgment, Do you really think a coach pushed a kid on the ground for not catching a ball "correctly"? If you do, You need to wise up.


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    #52
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    B-D-P-- wrote: »
    You did read the quote in my post?

    What would would you use to describe a grown adult who pushes 8yr olds to the ground?


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    #53
    SusieBlue
    Registered Users Posts: 8,029 ✭✭✭SusieBlue


    JustJoe7240 wrote: »
    Using your own judgment, Do you really think a coach pushed a kid on the ground for not catching a ball "correctly"? If you do, You need to wise up.

    It doesn't matter why he did it, you cannot put your hands on a child like that. Are you saying if I pushed your child to the ground you'd be ok with it?


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    #54
    granturismo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,899 ✭✭✭granturismo


    B-D-P-- wrote: »
    You did read the quote in my post?

    'a community which is OK with child abuse' does not equal 'call the gaa a community of pedos'


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    #55
    dinneenp
    Registered Users Posts: 8,114 ✭✭✭dinneenp


    At that young age they should look up to the coaches and not fear them.
    Being called a fcuken idiot is wrong in every way.

    Have a read of this Paul Kimmage article about St Mary's in Galway. The club suspended from all juvenile hurling and football activity until it complies with the findings of a recent GAA investigation


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    #56
    JustJoe7240
    Registered Users Posts: 1,443 ✭✭✭JustJoe7240


    SusieBlue wrote: »
    It doesn't matter why he did it, you cannot put your hands on a child like that. Are you saying if I pushed your child to the ground you'd be ok with it?

    Of course not. I'm questioning whether it happened at all, Not the motive for doing so. The testimony of an 8 year old is all I can see as proof.


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    #57
    Ave Sodalis
    Registered Users Posts: 7,548 ✭✭✭Ave Sodalis


    Myself and my siblings have played a lot of sport growing up, and there was always one or two coaches that made a show of themselves at the sidelines by yelling and swearing at the kids. It wasn't acceptable or normal behaviour then, and it isn't now.
    I occasionally teach horse riding where kids have to become hardy to keep at it. Tough love is if they fall off, they either go to the hospital or they get back on. If they make a mistake, they do it again until they get it right. Sometimes, it's even purposely making the child jump off the horse. It is not belittling or physically shoving the child. There is absolutely no need for that and it does not make the child any tougher.
    Encouragement and confidence instilling makes a good sport person. Having thick skin means getting knocked down and having the confidence to get up again. It means having the confidence to make that tackle, know that the risk of getting hurt isn't that big of a deal. It means that the child knows that if they try and get it wrong, they try better next time. The actions of the coach in the OP does not make for a tougher child, or stops snowflakes.


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    #58
    shesty
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 6,897 Mod ✭✭✭✭shesty


    Mod Note

    Folks, I understand this is an emotive topic but please keep the thread on topic and post constructive replies to the OP, rather than arguing within the thread.

    Also a reminder to watch the language used.

    Thanks.


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    #59
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    if ever a thread illustrated the problem with discussion boards its this one. one person posts one side of a story and within a few posts all rational discussion goes out the window and in no time at all otherwise pretty normal posters are making wild statements about people and organizations.


    if a coach or anyone else simply pushed a child to the ground and shouted abuse at them them you dont need to be asking anyone on a discussion board what to do.


    on the other hand most of us here or at least those of us who coach ourselves or have kids in various sports know well there is more to this story then meets the eye.


    the chances that any club in any sport in ireland are using coaches who assault and frighten the children is nil. because if they did within 2 weeks they would no longer have any kids going.


    its possible a couple of things are happening here.
    perhaps this child is not able for this coaches approach. in my lads rugby club there is one coach who curses at them randomly, kicks them in the backside as they pass by, throws balls at their heads refers to them by the nicknames of their parents, uncles, grandfathers that are often quite inappropriate, he makes them do press ups if they make a mistake etc, etc, etc.

    the kids absoutly adore him and think there is no one like him.
    there is another coach who would never do anything like that, he is quite and very professional.

    one day my lad (U9) came off the pitch and he was quite upset, in the car on the way home i got it out of him that coach 2 shouted at him during a game, he shouted '' X say back stay in the line'' that was it, the same day coach 1 had kicked him said he was as ugly as his uncle, told him to lie down and have a sleep if he wast prepared to roll away, none of that bothered him in the slightest. he just doesn't have that rapport with the other coach, a lovely quite man, and he hated him shouting at him and felt he was picking on him, i was there and he definitely was doing no such thing, but if i wasn't and i just heard the story at home i would have been really mad that someone had shouted at my child to the point he was in tears.



    i dont believe any coach goes out to hurt or upset any kid. they are giving up their own time to help out as a volunteer, but people are different and have different personalities and kids are different bu if you have 20-30 in a group it can be hard to tailor all your behavior to each individuals needs.

    have a quite word with the coach and explain your lad doesn't like the rough stuff.

    i truly believe that anyone who has kids should themselves volunteer with at least one club or society, it gives a great insight into what its like and how much it involves, it will give you a new perspective on it, and have no doubt it doesn't matter what sport or club it is they will take your help even if you have never played the sport never acted never danced, whatever. every club in the county is short of volunteers, and will bite your hand off for help. because unfortunately there are 10 parents who will stand on the sideline and snipe for every one who will walk onto the pitch and help.


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    #60
    Plumbthedepths
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,653 ✭✭✭✭Plumbthedepths


    farmchoice wrote:
    its possible a coupe of things are happening here. perhaps this child is not able for this coaches approach. in my lads rugby club there is one coach who curses at them randomly, kicks them in the backside as they pass by, throws balls at their heads refers to them by the nicknames of their parents, uncles, grandfathers that are often quite inappropriate, he makes them do press ups if they make a mistake etc, etc, etc.


    This person you refer to has no business coaching kids tbh.


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    #61
    farmchoice
    Registered Users Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭farmchoice


    Plumbthedepths wrote: »
    This person you refer to has no business coaching kids tbh.


    he is a brilliant coach, the kids love him, he has a great natural way with kids, his own son is in the group. not many people have the personality to pull that kind of off, i certainly dont but when you asked the kids he coaches he would be their favorite across all the sports.


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