Are foreign women more approachable than Irish girls?

professore

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Another one these threads?

I've met loads of friendly down to earth approachable Irish women in my time. Still come across them even though not single. Can still have good chat and bit of crack on a night out!

There are awkward bitchs of all nationalitys and genders it's not exclusive to our own!

The looks thing is also a massive myth!

The Irish are not ugly in general where actually quite good looking people the more you open your eyes.

Serious case of the grass is greener when comes to forgien men and women! There just as screwed up as our worst here lads!!

Virtually no one is saying Irish women are ugly or have terrible personalities. Just that in the narrow field of dating they make life hard and don't know how to flirt compared to foreign women. The only ones saying its looks is one troll and some Irish women.

How Soon Is Now

professore wrote: »

Virtually no one is saying Irish women are ugly or have terrible personalities. Just that in the narrow field of dating they make life hard and don't know how to flirt compared to foreign women. The only ones saying its looks is one troll and some Irish women.

Some women make life hard in general that's not just an Irish thing it's a woman thing!

They have a different way of dealing with things compared to men. If anything my experience with forgieners in general because of different cultures to ours they can actually be lot more awkward to what where used to.

professore

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

Some women make life hard in general that's not just an Irish thing it's a woman thing!

They have a different way of dealing with things compared to men. If anything my experience with forgieners in general because of different cultures to ours they can actually be lot more awkward to what where used to.

It depends on the culture I guess. I only have experience of western European and oddly Argentinian women. Can't comment on other cultures. I'm not sure if it's women in general. I think it's cultural. I imagine Islamic women would behave similarly but I've no idea.

How Soon Is Now

I found Brazilians and Argentine women to be very firey and confrontational you need to be able for them otherwise walk all over you.

At least the ones I've worked with and came across anyway! Obviously don't know thrm all ha.

Hungarian women lol I worked with few them wow if people think Irish are awkward!!

It's just people in general there's awkward ones all over the world!

professore

How Soon Is Now wrote: »

I found Brazilians and Argentine women to be very firey and confrontational you need to be able for them otherwise walk all over you.

At least the ones I've worked with and came across anyway! Obviously don't know thrm all ha.

Hungarian women lol I worked with few them wow if people think Irish are awkward!!

It's just people in general there's awkward ones all over the world!

That was definitely not my limited experience of either Argentinian or Hungarian women.

Arrival

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Just before they start: you'll have loads of losers coming on here presently saying how awful Irish women are and how amazing their hot non-EU bird is. They're only where they are because the Irish women wouldn't go near them, and the supposedly amazing hot non-EU bird can see the benefit of EU citizenship. Shhh.

Anyway, continue.

For some lads, sure that's the case. For others, we just prefer women who aren't plastered in makeup, don't dress like whores and aren't entitled/pay for themselves. Couldn't tell you the amount of times Irish girls haven't even gestured towards paying for themselves on a date, pretty sad to not want to be equal with another adult in this day and age.

You sound quite bitter. Some Irish lads just have a preference that writes you off. Get over it, plenty of other Irish lads who still adore and only want to settle down with Irish women

givyjoe

SusieBlue wrote: »

Exactly this, it works both ways.

Except it that isn't what's being said. Irish girls being unapproachable is not the same thing and Irish guys not wanting to approach. The later is heavily influenced by the former.

How Soon Is Now

professore wrote: »

That was definitely not my limited experience of either Argentinian or Hungarian women.

Like I said I haven't met them all ha.

I just found in the work place and sometimes out and about they where very confrontational at times.

Hungarian men where even worse was around groups of them and worked with few all bit ****ing mental! Seem to be still living in the 80s as well!

professore

Thinking about this a bit more, it might be that the Irish women I had issues with are outspoken and would talk over me all the time. They had a very set view of the world and were closed minded. There was no point having a discussion with them.

Non Irish women actually listen to what I'm saying rather than jumping to conclusions. You know having an actual conversation. I always felt their mind was made up before I said anything. Then again these women would be well travelled, intelligent and open to new ideas like myself.


This is a massive generalisation of course. I've met plenty of cool Irish women since but I married young and maybe I was unlucky before that.

Zorya

professore wrote: »

Fuaranach sounds like exactly the kind of Irish woman the Irish men on this thread have experienced. .

I thought Fuaranach was a guy
Shyte and I even asked zim to marry me once because I agreed with zer so much about something and I'm not even a lesbian. How awkward.

professore

Zorya wrote: »

I thought Fuaranach was a guy
Shyte and I even asked zim to marry me once because I agreed with zer so much about something and I'm not even a lesbian. How awkward.

Maybe he/she is. I just said what they sound like. Their gender isn't relevant to me for a discussion like this. I'm not hitting on them. Maybe it is for you?

Gimme A Pound

Of course Fuaranach's sex is relevant - you're backtracking. Yes he is a guy.

professore wrote: »

This isn't the norm. You must be seriously hot or look like a foreigner. And being a bollix has nothing to do with women flirting. In fact in Ireland being a bollix seems to attract certain women.

Also if there are a group of Irish women they all want the same guy. You must be thst guy.

It is the norm. I see it non stop. You should stop convincing yourself that only your experience is the same for everyone.

Zorya

Monserrat Itchy Verdigris wrote: »

Yes he is a guy.

.

Well, phew, my Guydar is at least partially operative still

Poor_old_gill

professore wrote: »

This isn't the norm. You must be seriously hot or look like a foreigner. And being a bollix has nothing to do with women flirting. In fact in Ireland being a bollix seems to attract certain women.

Also if there are a group of Irish women they all want the same guy. You must be thst guy.

I can assure you that I’m not! Go into nearly any establishment in Dub and it will be extremely easy to strike up a conversation with an Irish woman and a lot of the time they’ll start chatting to you.

Looks is, I’d imagine only a small part of it. Other factors like being in a big group of lads will send woman away, how drunk you are, clothes, etc.

Gimme A Pound

Wibbs wrote:

But kinda GaP. Sometimes you get more honest opinions online.

Yeah there is definitely a group of men who are always drawn to absolute bitches (like women who are drawn to assholes) or they have no luck with women or they get frustrated with women going for assholes (just like the men who go for bitches) while they, nice guys, have no joy. They get frustrated too by women who aren't very pretty or slim getting sex while they don't - but this isn't some unfair conspiracy: men generally have a more urgent need for sexual release than women do, so some will just shag anyone, particularly after drink, then run a mile when sobered up. So I wouldn't get that jealous because that's hardly living the dream for the woman. And it's not like she's being fussy either.

Anyway, the internet works very much as an outlet for the above guys to vent, so this is why they appear more prominent online. It is understandable to an extent for a guy to feel resentment due to no intimacy, however when it gets ugly and woman-hating absolutely nothing excuses it. And it does get very much like that online. But not off-line.

Guys need to stop going for bitches and going to those awful nightclubs. These women are alien to me and my circle, who are never horrible to men, not looking for rich adonises, and think women who are horrible to men are vile... and we don't go for "bad boys".

Women's magazines and websites don't help with all their "you go girl!" shyte either, but listen... those magazines are all a veneer - they're not empowering women at all. They are utterly eroding women's confidence and should be avoided at all costs. Bring a book/Kindle to the hairdressers/waiting room ladies!

Yer Da sells Avon

Dan Shaw wrote: »

Currently making it with an Italian girl.

Neither am I.

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

professore wrote: »

Me and most of my male friends from college are married to non Irish women.

That’s nice. It’s also a small sample size.

professore wrote: »

This isn't the norm. You must be seriously hot or look like a foreigner. And being a bollix has nothing to do with women flirting. In fact in Ireland being a bollix seems to attract certain women.

Also if there are a group of Irish women they all want the same guy. You must be thst guy.

What? Of all the bizarre generalisations made in the thread, this wins by a mile. What are you on about?

professore

professore wrote: »

Thinking about this a bit more, it might be that the Irish women I had issues with are outspoken and would talk over me all the time. They had a very set view of the world and were closed minded. There was no point having a discussion with them.

Non Irish women actually listen to what I'm saying rather than jumping to conclusions. You know having an actual conversation. I always felt their mind was made up before I said anything. Then again these women would be well travelled, intelligent and open to new ideas like myself.


This is a massive generalisation of course. I've met plenty of cool Irish women since but I married young and maybe I was unlucky before that.

OT but I don't think I've ever read a single post by you were you weren't having some kind of negative hot flush over women, and on this thread Irish women in particular.

Maybe you've posted lots of positive stuff about women, but if you have I've never seen it. All is see is a flow of negativity about women.

Have you ever considered the possibility of confirmation bias?

Pug160

i agree that a man who cannot approach a woman without alcohol may have some underlying issues. But I would ask - as I have done previously - why these problems are not being addressed collectively? One of the responses I see is that there is no major problem - that it's just a few guys who slip through the net for various reasons. I sometimes refer to these people who give those replies as the ''I'm all right Jack'' types - the people who have always been grand socially and who don't have any reason to believe that there is a significant section of the male population who have major issues interacting with women. They could well be right of course, but I think the issue is at least potentially bigger than some people may think. It's not even about intelligence either - it's the simple fact that certain people can't empathise with others on a certain issue or walk in their shoes if they haven't truly experiened it themselves.

People can turn their lives around and there have been plenty of success stories. But ideally you don't want to be shutting the gate after the horse has bolted. We go through key stages of development and if the boat is missed too many times you're playing catch up. Obviously there will always be people who will have a predisposition to be shy or awkward socially, or any number of things which may have a negative impact on how they interact socially. But is it just a case of saying that this will always be inevitable, and that there is nothing that can be done on a fundamental level to improve it? How big is the issue and how do the people who say it's not a significant problem know that?

Zorya

Pug160 wrote: »

i agree that a man who cannot approach a woman without alcohol may have some underlying issues. But I would ask - as I have done previously - why these problems are not being addressed collectively? One of the responses I see is that there is no major problem - that it's just a few guys who slip through the net for various reasons. I sometimes refer to these people who give those replies as the ''I'm all right Jack'' types - the people who have always been grand socially and who don't have any reason to believe that there is a significant section of the male population who have major issues interacting with women. They could well be right of course, but I think the issue is at least potentially bigger than some people may think. It's not even about intelligence either - it's the simple fact that certain people can't empathise with others on a certain issue or walk in their shoes if they haven't truly experiened it themselves.

People can turn their lives around and there have been plenty of success stories. But ideally you don't want to be shutting the gate after the horse has bolted. We go through key stages of development and if the boat is missed too many times you're playing catch up. Obviously there will always be people who will have a predisposition to be shy or awkward socially, or any number of things which may have a negative impact on how they interact socially. But is it just a case of saying that this will always be inevitable, and that there is nothing that can be done on a fundamental level to improve it? How big is the issue and how do the people who say it's not a significant problem know that?

It's an interesting question and valid, and there are good people who slip through the net, as you call it. And for lots and lots of reasons. It must be very difficult for these people. But I don't think anything can be done ''collectively'' about it, as you ask. The ones with no empathy for people in that position are not really worth asking their opinions on it.
If a person is in that position they are going to have to deal with it at their individual level. That could mean many things, from broadening the social circle, to traveling, to finding flow activities they are passionate about, maybe in certain cases counselling, personal advice or mentoring of some sort.
Everyone has something they are dealing with, or at least very very few don't have some devil on their back. We have to face those devils ourselves. Well, that has been my experience - even very close people cannot fix the world for us, we have to try do it for ourselves.

mammajamma

Having been around, I think irish women can be a bit unapproachable, not always. Foreign women seem to be more up for the craic, but so is anyone when theyre abroad, right?

When it comes to non-Europeans, (and even some European states), its almost scary how nice they come across sometimes.

From 1 or 2 personal experiences, and others I know, there is this doubt about citizenship and setting up here. Seems to be a lot of americans hopping on this bandwagon too, looking to live here. It makes it very difficult to discern a genuine relationship versus a hidden angle.

You want women guaranteed to be all over you, head to mexico, for example. Just be European and youre all set. The equivalent of being a billionaire and having to wonder "are they only interested in my money?"

Personally, I'm done with non-Europeans. Its just a trust issue based on personal experience.

Pug160

Zorya wrote: »

It's an interesting question and valid, and there are good people who slip through the net, as you call it. And for lots and lots of reasons. It must be very difficult for these people. But I don't think anything can be done ''collectively'' about it, as you ask. The ones with no empathy for people in that position are not really worth asking their opinions on it.
If a person is in that position they are going to have to deal with it at their individual level. That could mean many things, from broadening the social circle, to traveling, to finding flow activities they are passionate about, maybe in certain cases counselling, personal advice or mentoring of some sort.
Everyone has something they are dealing with, or at least very very few don't have some devil on their back. We have to face those devils ourselves. Well, that has been my experience - even very close people cannot fix the world for us, we have to try do it for ourselves.

Oh I know we can help ourselves and we have to help ourselves. But my point was that it is our developing years that are the most important. If you get that right you don't need to play catch up in the first place. There are no silver bullets here - I'm aware of that. The mixed sex school topic comes up every so often and it appears to be quite polarised. But at least it's being discussed.

Church on Tuesday

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

But yet, on these threads, we have posters tearing apart the looks of Irish women. I doubt every lad posting here doing that is an Adonis. Why does it seem to be fine to so many in these types of threads to rip apart the looks of Irish women but it’s apparently not okay for Irish women to be picky about looks? I mean, statistically, the majority of us posting here will be in the average looks department. Most people are.

I wasn't actually being serious.

You really can't say anything these days.

Bring back the "slow set"..was always guaranteed to break the ice. 😜

WillieMason

Its the rain and the fact everyone knows everyone

mammajamma

Nimmsnomms wrote: »

Irish women aren't unapproachable, I've approached many, some "successfully", some "unsuccessfully". What I actually regard as success is making the approach, not trying is the real failure, you can learn from "failure".

If you're getting bad reactions from women consistently, there's probably something you can do to improve. Examine your beliefs, do you see the approach as an opportunity for fun to interact with a unique individual, or is the woman you aproach an object to satisfy your ego. Do you smile when you approach, how relaxed are you, as a general rule of thumb whatever you feel she feels. If you're nervous she'll feel nervous, if you're relaxed and chatty; she'll be relaxed and chatty.

Its all generalisation, and I did say "sometimes", and as a comparison. I don't need tips with talking to women

When I observe irish women on their own, especially, they tend to have that "don't even think about it" demeanour. It cant all be my imagination!

But then I've had irish women come onto me a fair few times too, without looking for any attention at all. So maybe I look like a dour git on my own too, who knows?!

I remember when I was younger I just got it into my head one day that I didn't need to hang around with anyone, or join up with the lads to go out and meet women. Totally unlike me at the time, more reserved and laidback. Going out the first time completely on my todd felt "weird" at first. Not having someone to lean on etc.

Soon snapped out of it and confidence shot up to godly proportions (without ever being a ****head, just that "cool" understated confidence), and it was a phase that lasted a couple years. Good fun Now I've grown out of that too, into a "cant be bothered" phase. Meh, that's life.

But apparently that "cant be bothered" thing is attractive too! Basically, try-hards die hard :P

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

I wasn't actually being serious.

You really can't say anything these days.

Meh, there was nothing about your post that particularly marked it out as a joke.

Church on Tuesday

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

Meh, there was nothing about your post that particularly marked it out as a joke.

No harm done.

Fourier

Having worked in a few places, I honestly think Ireland is somewhere in the middle regarding how easily the genders gel and how approachable the opposite gender is.

In Southern and Central Europe I find the genders mix a good bit more easily than here and as others have said there tends to be less of "the men's group and the women's group".

However I've worked in places like Japan, where moving between groups marks you as some kind of social freak. I really never saw the genders mix outside of two couples going on a joint date. Especially so in rural Japan.

In parts of Nigeria it was similar, one place I was in they wouldn't even sit where the other gender tends to sit, even if they're not around.

Mister Vain

It doesn't help if the pubs/clubs are your only outlet for meeting women. I would say at least 90% of the women I have approached in this setting have been rude or dismissive. Now a lot of that may have been down to my approach, but after taking up some new hobbies I started to meet some really nice attractive Irish women in a relaxed environment. They were very friendly and easy to talk to. However if I was to approach those same women on a night out I would probably have a different opinion of them.

As far as relationships go, I would say there are pros and cons to dating foreign women. From my experience with eastern European women for example, they tend to have old fashioned gender roles. They expect the man to always pay on dates. They generally settle down at a younger age too. You would very rarely see a single Polish person in their 30's. I kind of like have a language barrier though because it forces you to be more direct. There are less mind games and its a lot easier to express an interest without coming across too forward.