Are foreign women more approachable than Irish girls?

ArchXStanton

Nimmsnomms wrote: »

Irish women aren't unapproachable, I've approached many, some "successfully", some "unsuccessfully". What I actually regard as success is making the approach, not trying is the real failure, you can learn from "failure".

If you're getting bad reactions from women consistently, there's probably something you can do to improve. Examine your beliefs, do you see the approach as an opportunity for fun to interact with a unique individual, or is the woman you aproach an object to satisfy your ego. Do you smile when you approach, how relaxed are you, as a general rule of thumb whatever you feel she feels. If you're nervous she'll feel nervous, if you're relaxed and chatty; she'll be relaxed and chatty.

There's still a societal expectation for men to do the approaching, hence the nervousness, a lot of the times we know we're putting our hands out to be slapped, equality my hole, equality without the responsibility more like

shady acres

since polish women started coming to ireland the irish women have to up their game big time

Gimme A Pound

Obvious Desperate Breakfasts wrote: »

But yet, on these threads, we have posters tearing apart the looks of Irish women. I doubt every lad posting here doing that is an Adonis. Why does it seem to be fine to so many in these types of threads to rip apart the looks of Irish women but it’s apparently not okay for Irish women to be picky about looks? I mean, statistically, the majority of us posting here will be in the average looks department. Most people are.

Imagine a woman starting a thread going on about how sh1t men are. She would be (rightly) torn to pieces.

Redneck Culchie

Mister Vain wrote: »

It doesn't help if the pubs/clubs are your only outlet for meeting women. I would say at least 90% of the women I have approached in this setting have been rude or dismissive. Now a lot of that may have been down to my approach, but after taking up some new hobbies I started to meet some really nice attractive Irish women in a relaxed environment. They were very friendly and easy to talk to. However if I was to approach those same women on a night out I would probably have a different opinion of them.

As far as relationships go, I would say there are pros and cons to dating foreign women. From my experience with eastern European women for example, they tend to have old fashioned gender roles. They expect the man to always pay on dates. They generally settle down at a younger age too. You would very rarely see a single Polish person in their 30's. I kind of like have a language barrier though because it forces you to be more direct. There are less mind games and its a lot easier to express an interest without coming across too forward.

What sort of hobbies did you take up? My only outlet for meeting women is pubs/clubs and sometimes online dating. Its been suggested for me to go to meetup groups but outside Dublin where I am there is none. I may have to travel to Dublin to attend meetup events. Dating is even harder down the country, anyone in Dublin count yourself lucky where dating is concerned.

shady acres

Monserrat Itchy Verdigris wrote: »

Imagine a woman starting a thread going on about how sh1t men are. She would be (rightly) torn to pieces.

women don't start threads

givyjoe

Monserrat Itchy Verdigris wrote: »

Imagine a woman starting a thread going on about how sh1t men are. She would be (rightly) torn to pieces.

Because that's precisely what the op did. Christ.

Gimme A Pound

givyjoe wrote: »

Because that's precisely what the op did. Christ.

No but plenty of posts have done so.

Mrletsdothis

I find Irish girls very approachable. Once you face years of rejection you just get used to it in my opinion and for every 10 approaches you get one that goes well. All a numbers game.

SterlingArcher

Monserrat Itchy Verdigris wrote: »

Imagine a woman starting a thread going on about how sh1t men are. She would be (rightly) torn to pieces.

We'd hopefully take the piss. What is the issue?.

shady acres

SterlingArcher wrote: »

We'd hopefully take the piss. What is the issue?.

MISOGINI IS NOT A JOKING MATTER

Gimme A Pound

SterlingArcher wrote: »

We'd hopefully take the piss. What is the issue?.

You know full well plenty wouldn't - such dishonesty.

Wibbs

shady acres wrote: »

MISOGINI IS NOT A JOKING MATTER

It can and can't be, but at least get the spelling right. What with autocorrect and that: "Misogyny".

shady acres

Wibbs wrote: »

It can and can't be, but at least get the spelling right. What with autocorrect and that: "Misogyny".

no need to mansplain to me

Wibbs

shady acres wrote: »

no need to mansplain to me

:D Feck off SA.

Mister Vain

Redneck Culchie wrote: »

What sort of hobbies did you take up? My only outlet for meeting women is pubs/clubs and sometimes online dating. Its been suggested for me to go to meetup groups but outside Dublin where I am there is none. I may have to travel to Dublin to attend meetup events. Dating is even harder down the country, anyone in Dublin count yourself lucky where dating is concerned.

Mainly photography and car shows/motorsport. Facebook groups are great for finding people with similar interests. I've met a lot of people on Instagram too. I know what you mean about being outside Dublin though. There's feck all where I live too so I end up making frequent trips to the big shmoke. Well its about an hours drive so its not too bad but I do wish there was more stuff local.

Happy4all

Mr. Incognito wrote: »

I am dating a Brazilian Lady and I have never been happier. I find that she is more direct than any Irish girl I have dated. If she has a problem she says so, its resolved. If I have a problem I say so, there's not drama or tears about it, it's resolved.

I dont think Irish women do it on purpose but there is always an element of pyshic ability required "Fine" means you are in trouble etc.

Generalisations are well, generalisations, but I've dated Irish girls and a few other different nationalities and just find other nationalities easier to communicate with.

Foreign ladies are absolutely more free sexually but I put that down to the Catholic education system here and social shaming. Our sexual education is so so poor in Ireland. It's a huge problem.

Where can I get a Brazilian?

Mister Vain

Happy4all wrote: »

Where can I get a Brazilian?

There seems to be loads on Tinder living in Dublin. Quite a few Asians too.

ArtSmart

Happy4all wrote: »

Where can I get a Brazilian?

Any beauty treatment center.







Warning - it hurtsssss

ArtSmart

re the OP post etc.

Irish in general are reserved, so are de Brits (though deffo less so)

So it's not so much X is more open abroad, - it's that we're relatively reserved.

Seen it in Italy, Germany, France, Spain, Oz, The States. And I'm told the ex-communists/ communists SEA countries are the same. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ARE MORE FORWARD. (Except Sweden apparently)

It aint them.

IT'S US.

professore

SusieBlue wrote: »

Any guys I know in a relationship with a foreign woman relies on the language barrier and cultural differences to hide the fact that they are not very nice, arrogant, judgemental assh*les with bad attitudes.

This of course, is just my own experience, and does not refer to ALL men in relationships with foreign women.
The guys I know would be of the opinion that Irish women are high maintenance, stuck up their own holes & a lot uglier than their continental counterparts, but the truth is, they could never get an Irish woman to stick around long enough to put up with their sh*t.

It was generally those guys the Irish women went for, and ended up married to Irish women. A lot of the cool Irish women I knew married foreign men, or married the above asshole Irish guys and bitterly regretted it, and many ended up divorced. On the other hand, most of the guys who married foreign women are still together.

professore

ArtSmart wrote: »

re the OP post etc.

Irish in general are reserved, so are de Brits (though deffo less so)

So it's not so much X is more open abroad, - it's that we're relatively reserved.

Seen it in Italy, Germany, France, Spain, Oz, The States. And I'm told the ex-communists/ communists SEA countries are the same. BOTH MEN AND WOMEN ARE MORE FORWARD. (Except Sweden apparently)

It aint them.

IT'S US.

I don't find that at all. Irish people aren't reserved compared to Northern Europeans or the Brits. Compared to the latin countries maybe.

Daisy78

Redneck Culchie wrote: »

I agree. It will never happen me. But I've seen supposed "hardmen" turned into timid mice by Irish women. Frightening sight to see.

Or it could just be down to the women they choose in the first place. The high maintenance controlling type, I doubt these women had a personality change over night as soon as they got the ring on the finger.

Shenshen

professore wrote: »

I don't find that at all. Irish people aren't reserved compared to Northern Europeans or the Brits. Compared to the latin countries maybe.

They are when it comes to male-female interaction.
As I said before, back home having friends of both genders is the norm. Going out with a group means talking to and interacting with all members of the group, not just the ones that share your gender.

Here, my observations are that any "mixed" group separates into its male and female components at the first given opportunity on a night out, with the women talking to the women and the men talking to the men.
Anyone trying to cross that will be perceived as "trying to flirt" and expressing a sexual interest.

That's certainly not the norm in Germany at least, or at least not in my personal experience.

suicide_circus

Shenshen wrote: »

They are when it comes to male-female interaction.
As I said before, back home having friends of both genders is the norm. Going out with a group means talking to and interacting with all members of the group, not just the ones that share your gender.

Here, my observations are that any "mixed" group separates into its male and female components at the first given opportunity on a night out, with the women talking to the women and the men talking to the men.
Anyone trying to cross that will be perceived as "trying to flirt" and expressing a sexual interest.

That's certainly not the norm in Germany at least, or at least not in my personal experience.

in Germany I doubt there was ever a time when members of the clergy supervised dances and literally went round the dance floor with a measuring ruler ensuring that people dancing together maintained a sufficient distance from their partner in order to avoid the danger of sexual arousal.

Shenshen

suicide_circus wrote: »

in Germany I doubt there was ever a time when members of the clergy supervised dances and literally went round the dance floor with a measuring ruler ensuring that people dancing together maintained a sufficient distance from their partner in order to avoid the danger of sexual arousal.

There was, when my mother was young.

However, I do believe the question was around how approachable the Irish are as compared to other countries, not who's to blame either way

Wibbs

Daisy78 wrote: »

Or it could just be down to the women they choose in the first place. The high maintenance controlling type, I doubt these women had a personality change over night as soon as they got the ring on the finger.

Exactly. I've seen the dynamic in a few couples and it was pretty obvious from the outside in nearly every case. Not just controlling women either. When the love/lust drug is running strong people tend to ignore the red flags. Or they drift into the same dynamic they grew up with. The old men marry their ma, women marry their da kinda thing. It feels comfortable, even if it's anything but. Plus in a fair percentage of such relationships the put upon partner simply gets lazy after the wedding cake has gone stale and leaves the heavy lifting in decisions and the like to the other.

Shenshen wrote: »

There was, when my mother was young.

However, I do believe the question was around how approachable the Irish are as compared to other countries, not who's to blame either way

It's Ireland SS, if in doubt, always blame the Catholics and their Church. It's the lazy dumping ground explanation and excuse for damned near every negative seen in Irish culture.

Never mind that many if not most here grew up in an Ireland where the church's influence had long waned. No 25 year old today grew up with nuns with rulers measuring the distance couples were dancing at. Hell 25 year olds didn't grow up with slow sets. I went through my early teens in the early 80's and went to a Catholic school and attended school discos and the like and there was none of that stuff going on.

Never mind that these superior "Latin lovers" of either gender hail from cultures where the same Church is not nearly so lambasted, or used as a cultural dumping ground.

Actually a memory came up from the depths of what passes for my mind... Back in the mid 80's I was in France, Paris to be precise and ended up in an oul dishco, as you do. And one of the abiding memories(other than local music I'd not heard of) was the late teens guys and gals hanging out very separately in groups of various sizes. The Irish lads I was with had a conversation about how kinda odd that was compared to back home. With the addition of surprise because we would have thought the French would have been more cosmopolitan, less uptight and all that compared to us dreadful oiks from the island province. There's still an element of that going on IMHO.

suicide_circus

ah listen now. the Irish Catholic church was a reflection of pre existing society, I'm not blaming the church

Shenshen

Wibbs wrote: »

Actually a memory came up from the depths of what passes for my mind... Back in the mid 80's I was in France, Paris to be precise and ended up in an oul dishco, as you do. And one of the abiding memories(other than local music I'd not heard of) was the late teens guys and gals hanging out very separately in groups of various sizes. The Irish lads I was with had a conversation about how kinda odd that was compared to back home. With the addition of surprise because we would have thought the French would have been more cosmopolitan, less uptight and all that compared to us dreadful oiks from the island province. There's still an element of that going on IMHO.

That's where my personal experiences reach their limits, I'm afraid. I've been to one disco when I was 11 or 12, and have avoided them and nightclubs like the plague since then. I could never stand the volume of the music (I'm fine at concerts, I just don't get why you'd want your eardrums burst by recorded music), nor the fact that all you could do was stand around until your feet hurt, and look at people through dim lights. No chance of having a conversation with anyone.

So when I'm talking about a group on a night out, I'd usually mean going to the pub to eat, drink and chat.

Fourier

Shenshen wrote: »

That's where my personal experiences reach their limits, I'm afraid. I've been to one disco when I was 11 or 12, and have avoided them and nightclubs like the plague since then. I could never stand the volume of the music (I'm fine at concerts, I just don't get why you'd want your eardrums burst by recorded music), nor the fact that all you could do was stand around until your feet hurt, and look at people through dim lights. No chance of having a conversation with anyone.

So when I'm talking about a group on a night out, I'd usually mean going to the pub to eat, drink and chat.

If I've the same experiences of discos as Wibbs, the music wouldn't have been eardrum bursting loud and one didn't really just stand around, you danced. I used to love them.

*change to sepia tone and cue 80s music*

Shenshen

Fourier wrote: »

If I've the same experiences of discos as Wibbs, the music wouldn't have been eardrum bursting loud and one didn't really just stand around, you danced. I used to love them.

*change to sepia tone and cue 80s music*

There's very few things in life I hate more than dancing... as I said, this is outside my area of personal experience, I couldn't say if there's a difference between how people here or abroad behave in nightclubs.