2020 Bride/Groom

alicantra123

Hi everyone,

I have a question for those of us going ahead with 2020 weddings.

I am trying to get a sense of how people's venues are handling the 11pm finish time guideline? It seems that some venues are taking it that this applies to weddings, whilst others have decided it does not and are allowing the wedding to go on to the usual finish time of the wee hours.

Secondly, I am wondering has anyone else had guidance from their venue in relation to serving alcohol? My own venue informed me that there is a total of 4 hours of alcohol serving allowed (one hour at the reception, two hours at the meal and one hour after the meal)
I have trawled through the Failte guidelines and tried googling and I can't seem to find this advice anywhere? I don't know where they got it from and I haven't heard of anyone else's venue imposing this.

Are other people's venues imposing these rules? I'm very likely to now cancel with this venue and forego my deposit as a result and in that instance I am going to be looking for a venue which will be less retrieve. It's my impression most venues aren't being this strict? But maybe I am mistaken? Any feedback is hugely appreciated as I'm on a short timeline as want to get married in October.

ilovesmybrick

alicantra123 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I have a question for those of us going ahead with 2020 weddings.

I am trying to get a sense of how people's venues are handling the 11pm finish time guideline? It seems that some venues are taking it that this applies to weddings, whilst others have decided it does not and are allowing the wedding to go on to the usual finish time of the wee hours.

Secondly, I am wondering has anyone else had guidance from their venue in relation to serving alcohol? My own venue informed me that there is a total of 4 hours of alcohol serving allowed (one hour at the reception, two hours at the meal and one hour after the meal)
I have trawled through the Failte guidelines and tried googling and I can't seem to find this advice anywhere? I don't know where they got it from and I haven't heard of anyone else's venue imposing this.

Are other people's venues imposing these rules? I'm very likely to now cancel with this venue and forego my deposit as a result and in that instance I am going to be looking for a venue which will be less retrieve. It's my impression most venues aren't being this strict? But maybe I am mistaken? Any feedback is hugely appreciated as I'm on a short timeline as want to get married in October.

We're not going ahead, but I can tell you what we were told (Our booking was October also), and talking to a few others recently they've received much the same.

Essentially there's the restrictions on 50 people, including staff. Table service for drinks, and only an hour after the meal and then the bar has to close, and no live music or dancing. They did say that these restrictions were going to be reviewed by the Government after August 31st....

It seems that the bar restrictions and 11pm closing on restaurants are also being applied to weddings and venues. Who knows what will be in place come October, and I think personally that some of these restrictions will ease, but we are in a position where we couldn't wait any longer to find out.

Edit: I really hope it works out for you, whatever you decide to do. It's been a mess of a year for everyone that had been looking forward to getting married in 2020

Pen Rua

alicantra123 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

I have a question for those of us going ahead with 2020 weddings.

I am trying to get a sense of how people's venues are handling the 11pm finish time guideline? It seems that some venues are taking it that this applies to weddings, whilst others have decided it does not and are allowing the wedding to go on to the usual finish time of the wee hours.

Secondly, I am wondering has anyone else had guidance from their venue in relation to serving alcohol? My own venue informed me that there is a total of 4 hours of alcohol serving allowed (one hour at the reception, two hours at the meal and one hour after the meal)
I have trawled through the Failte guidelines and tried googling and I can't seem to find this advice anywhere? I don't know where they got it from and I haven't heard of anyone else's venue imposing this.

Are other people's venues imposing these rules? I'm very likely to now cancel with this venue and forego my deposit as a result and in that instance I am going to be looking for a venue which will be less retrieve. It's my impression most venues aren't being this strict? But maybe I am mistaken? Any feedback is hugely appreciated as I'm on a short timeline as want to get married in October.

We are due for October also.

Our venue have told us the 11pm bar closure will be enforced. They seem to have indicated that they expect staff & guests out of the room by midnight. This was all after a visit from the local Garda sergeant to the hotel to tell them that they need to enforce the 11pm cut off.

Our venue will be doing table service for drinks.

stargazer 68

Pen Rua wrote: »

We are due for October also.

Our venue have told us the 11pm bar closure will be enforced. They seem to have indicated that they expect staff & guests out of the room by midnight. This was all after a visit from the local Garda sergeant to the hotel to tell them that they need to enforce the 11pm cut off.

Our venue will be doing table service for drinks.

On FB on the wedding group someone has said that they have contacted the HSE (?) who have told them that the guidelines for 11pm do not apply to hotels. Seems some of the hotels are doing their own thing!

Now that applies to regular guests i.e you can stay in the bar without food if you are a resident but closes at 11, doesn't close until 2am, there is music on, no music on! Seems to vary depends on which hotel you are in. So it seems to be the same with weddings as a few people have said that their hotel has confirmed they will not be ending at 11pm.

Pen Rua

stargazer 68 wrote: »

On FB on the wedding group someone has said that they have contacted the HSE (?) who have told them that the guidelines for 11pm do not apply to hotels. Seems some of the hotels are doing their own thing!

Now that applies to regular guests i.e you can stay in the bar without food if you are a resident but closes at 11, doesn't close until 2am, there is music on, no music on! Seems to vary depends on which hotel you are in. So it seems to be the same with weddings as a few people have said that their hotel has confirmed they will not be ending at 11pm.

Our hotel told us the local Garda sergeant made a point to visit the hotel to meet with the General Manager to tell him that they (Garda) will be carrying out spot checks to ensure the 11pm cut off is enforced.

It's very unclear since each hotel is taking its own view. Our hotel's view re numbers is that 50 excludes staff, whereas I have seen others in this thread saying their hotel takes the view that 50 includes staff.

alicantra123

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the info. It really does seem to be the case that it's quite inconsistent from one hotel to another.

I can understand completely hotels sticking to the guidelines as much as possible, and I think that's a good thing. I just wish it was clearer so we could make a decision. I happen to know a friend of mine will be having her wedding in September and has been told her guests can stay til 2am, so it will be very difficult for me to attend that wedding and then mine a month later has to end at 11pm.

Are people still paying the same price for an 11pm finish?

Pen Rua, are you going to go ahead with your Venue? I think if I can't find anywhere willing to stay open past 11pm I'll probably do something in my house instead, I don't think I could cough up 7-8 grand for essentially dinner for 45 people.

Pen Rua

alicantra123 wrote: »

Hi everyone,

Thanks for all the info. It really does seem to be the case that it's quite inconsistent from one hotel to another.

I can understand completely hotels sticking to the guidelines as much as possible, and I think that's a good thing. I just wish it was clearer so we could make a decision. I happen to know a friend of mine will be having her wedding in September and has been told her guests can stay til 2am, so it will be very difficult for me to attend that wedding and then mine a month later has to end at 11pm.

Are people still paying the same price for an 11pm finish?

Pen Rua, are you going to go ahead with your Venue? I think if I can't find anywhere willing to stay open past 11pm I'll probably do something in my house instead, I don't think I could cough up 7-8 grand for essentially dinner for 45 people.

We have not reached out to the hotel yet (I have exams next week - been preoccupied with those) but we plan to argue for a price reduction as the night time food won't be required if we finish at 11pm.

We plan to go ahead as planned anyways. It is our thought process that we can control 50 people better than 100. We can make the Mass a touch quicker, photos will be quicker & we can get 50 people seated & served faster to enjoy the night. TBH, I am not a late night person so the thought of going till the early hours has never appealed to me so this goes in our favour.

customrifle

Ours is going ahead in early September with 46, as the venue is private we are allowed to go until 2. The venue doesn't apply a fee as some do but ask you to take 25 rooms which was no problem and rooms were booked when we anticipated our numbers being up at 100. Now our numbers are at 46 and "as a gesture of goodwill" the room requirement has been reduced to 18 but they will not waive the single occupancy subsidy. Many of my fiancée's relations live close by so I'd say we will have to pay for a surplus of rooms. We have overpaid as it is and they said they will credit money to us after the wedding but it seems they will wait to see what rooms are taken first.
We are getting a marquee and having drinks and food the day after for some of the relations and close friends that can't now made the day. We will enjoy the day when it comes but we're both getting to a stage when we just wanted it done and over with. Like many couples it has taken from it but we are healthy and happy and that counts a lot now with what's going on

woodchuck

I haven't been in touch with our wedding venue since we decided to postpone. But when we last heard from them, they said that bar extensions aren't being permitted atm. So for the Saturday wedding we originally planned, the night could continue until 1am without the bar extension. We've switched to a Sunday next year, so without the bar extension, we need to finish up at 11pm.

This was all before the talk of 11pm curfews started btw.

So we went ahead with the Sunday date next year anyway, knowing that there's a possibility we'll have to finish up at 11pm if bar extensions aren't permitted then. Tbh this doesn't bother me that much though, as I'm not one for late nights anyway and I'm sure it will be a long and tiring day (and sure wouldn't it be nice to actually have some energy left when you get into bed on your wedding night :P). I'd be more worried what other people think, as generally people like/expect a late night of dancing and drinking at weddings. But if there are still significant safety concerns, maybe it's better to finish up earlier before things get too messy anyway. And like, it's all out of our control anyway, so guests will just have to accept it if it comes to that.

If we do have to finish up at 11pm, we might try to tweek the schedule of the day a bit though. E.g. have the ceremony and meal a little earlier to allow more time for music/dancing in the evening before 11pm (we also don't plan to have long speeches, just a very quick thank you - that was always our plan).

I really think there needs to be more coordination for all of this though. It's terrible that different venues are doing things different ways. It sounds like some of them are being forced into an awkward position (e.g. by the local guard). If the previous restrictions are anything to go by though, the guards are probably all interpreting the rules differently.

lisasimpson

Hi all i dont want to be selfish or anything but anyone else struggling with feelings over the whole mess. We are gone past plan a & b dont know what plan it is at this stage. I just want the day over and done with now.. Finding it v hard to start arranging again even for a mirco wedding of less than 20. Throw in an over enthusiastic family member who couldnt see if things get bad again the mirco wedding could get pulled on us We also had a few people presuring us to tell us what the story is Even though we have politely said we didnt know ourselves. ( at this stage we were both really down and finding it hard to relook at the event again). I know there are people who covid hit a lot worse but anyone wish some people would be a bit more sensitive

woodchuck

lisasimpson wrote: »

Hi all i dont want to be selfish or anything but anyone else struggling with feelings over the whole mess. We are gone past plan a & b dont know what plan it is at this stage. I just want the day over and done with now.. Finding it v hard to start arranging again even for a mirco wedding of less than 20. Throw in an over enthusiastic family member who couldnt see if things get bad again the mirco wedding could get pulled on us We also had a few people presuring us to tell us what the story is Even though we have politely said we didnt know ourselves. ( at this stage we were both really down and finding it hard to relook at the event again). I know there are people who covid hit a lot worse but anyone wish some people would be a bit more sensitive

I absolutely wish people people would be more sensitive. I think I might have somewhat the opposite problem to you - I haven't got a single positive family member in the bunch, they're all so negative!! I was talking to my parents the other night and even though we've made the decision to postpone everything until next year (we decided over a month ago and it's all re-organised since then) my Dad tells me that he thinks we should just go ahead with a registry office wedding this year and have a party once there's a vaccine. I was NOT asking for an opinion!! I'm sick of having to explain the reasons behind our decision, I wish they'd just get on board with the new plan. They're all about the "what ifs" (e.g. lockdown the night before the wedding). I'm well aware of the what ifs and they're all outside of our control, so what's the point in harping on about them.

Sorry, rant over :P

lisasimpson

O ive wanted to rant the last week or so. Thats the thing its totally out of our hands we have no control and this virus is going to be controlling our lives for a long time yet. Yes its great you got the day you wanted and fabulous honeymoon but some of us havent. Even the original date we couldnt even see our parents to mark the date. And dont start with the money lost

woodchuck

I think a lot of people think that the wedding celebration isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things - and I technically agree with them (marriage is important to me, but I've always been cynical about weddings). However, when you're suddenly faced with that celebration being taken away from you - it IS a big deal. As cynical as I am about weddings, I still want a day where we can actually celebrate the life-long commitment we're making to each other. I only ever wanted close family and friends too, not some massive 300 person wedding. All going well, we may actually still get to have the day we originally planned next year... I just wish other people could be more positive about it

I completely agree with the above posts, people could be a lot more sensitive at this time. I've a family member that has chosen to postpone their October wedding. They had been very hopeful throughout the Summer, and they are quite upset at the moment. It definitely doesn't help that some relatives were quite blunt in giving their opinions and asking interfering questions. Since they've confirmed they're postponing, I'll probably be next for getting interrogated, and all the unwanted opinions.

Since I last posted here, I had a family bereavement, and the funeral was very sad and strange. We had less than 20 family members. I am cocooning/shielding due to being in the high risk category so I only attended part of the funeral. I observed my own relatives ignoring social distancing, and it made me realise that people are quite self absorbed and think it's ok for them to ignore guidelines, but will give out about others not strictly following the rules.
As more and more cases are reported, and some people get complacent, I think the options for my partner and I to get married are getting fewer and fewer.
We are thinking of getting the legal bit sorted this side of Christmas, and if things are ok in Spring 2021 we might get to have some sort of celebration.

Sorry for the negativity, my positive attitude has taken a battering lately, and I'm sure there's many more feeling the same way.

Neyite

It's incredibly stressful for a lot of couples - and in ordinary times wedding planning is up there with some of the most stressful life events. Toss in a worldwide pandemic and it's off the scale.

I've been lucky. My wedding was easily moved until next summer, no money lost. If it's still like this next year, we'll just elope with two witnesses and party at a later date. But I've had relatives insinuate that they were financially inconvenienced (they weren't) or basically implying that I was hysterically overreacting by postponing (dunno how they expected it to go ahead since the church AND venue were firmly closed)

And on a personal level, I was already upset at not becoming married to my partner this year, so don't need the extra guilt trips from guests.

lisasimpson

Thats it originally we werent having a big lavish affair and we were looking forward to catching up with old friends. We are the last of lads of the groups to get married and once kids get to come along it a lot harder for everyone to get together. We are well aware that a wedding is small in the grand scheme of things as we know of someone that was v sick with covid. But just would love if people would think 1st

Teach30

Same here would love to have it over with by now. More so as we are waiting to live together.
It’s the not knowing is the worst part I think. I hate the idea of only having 50 as my side would be much older and not much fun. I’d much prefer to ask friends over family But obv can’t, so we are hoping numbers can increase with time.
Heard of a venue allowing larger numbers recently with groups split between function rooms so might be a possibility for us if it comes to it.

lisasimpson

O i think i know the same wedding. To me that would be a nightmare as both rooms were not allowed mix

woodchuck

Teach30 wrote: »

Same here would love to have it over with by now. More so as we are waiting to live together.
It’s the not knowing is the worst part I think. I hate the idea of only having 50 as my side would be much older and not much fun. I’d much prefer to ask friends over family But obv can’t, so we are hoping numbers can increase with time.
Heard of a venue allowing larger numbers recently with groups split between function rooms so might be a possibility for us if it comes to it.

If the numbers are the same next year, I plan to invite my immediate family only and close friends. Could you do the same? I imagine a lot of older guests will either be relieved to not make the cut or would decline the invitation anyway due to Covid concerns.

Teach30

woodchuck wrote: »

If the numbers are the same next year, I plan to invite my immediate family only and close friends. Could you do the same? I imagine a lot of older guests will either be relieved to not make the cut or would decline the invitation anyway due to Covid concerns.

Yes thanks, yes with my 25 that would include immediate family but they’re older 40/50s and then parents/aunties uncles in 70’s/80s and yea they’d go. I’d prop leave close friends out of that day tbh as I wouldn’t be able to invite enough to make they’re day worthwhile if that makes sense. No point asking 3 friends say and for them to be bored, as they wouldn’t know my relations or his.
Plus would be v difficult to pick a small group..

Neyite

There's due to be an announcement sometime today regarding changes to covid restrictions so anyone who's still got a wedding planned might find that those restrictions will apply to their venue/date.
Hopefully not but at this stage who knows?

woodchuck

Yeah, it's so hard to know. The RTE article says "The Cabinet will also discuss measures to clamp down on house parties or other large social gatherings." So that could include weddings alright.

Billythekid19

Teach30 wrote: »

Yes thanks, yes with my 25 that would include immediate family but they’re older 40/50s and then parents/aunties uncles in 70’s/80s and yea they’d go. I’d prop leave close friends out of that day tbh as I wouldn’t be able to invite enough to make they’re day worthwhile if that makes sense. No point asking 3 friends say and for them to be bored, as they wouldn’t know my relations or his.
Plus would be v difficult to pick a small group..

'In a bid to curb house parties, gatherings are likely to be restricted to groups of six from no more than three households.'
This does not spell good news for weddings in the next few weeks. Total of 15 people max being touted as allowed for outdoor events. Will be disasterous if the government act on NPHET's advice.

woodchuck

Billythekid19 wrote: »

'In a bid to curb house parties, gatherings are likely to be restricted to groups of six from no more than three households.'
This does not spell good news for weddings in the next few weeks. Total of 15 people max being touted as allowed for outdoor events. Will be disasterous if the government act on NPHET's advice.

I assumed that this was in relation to gatherings in/at private households? E.g. the rule is/was no more than 10 people from 4 households gathering indoors at a private residence. So they're looking to make that even more strict. The idea being to stop/control house parties.

I don't think these numbers apply to weddings.

I guess we'll find out later today though.

woodchuck

woodchuck wrote: »

I assumed that this was in relation to gatherings in/at private households? E.g. the rule is/was no more than 10 people from 4 households gathering indoors at a private residence. So they're looking to make that even more strict. The idea being to stop/control house parties.

I don't think these numbers apply to weddings.

I guess we'll find out later today though.

I just heard over the radio that there'll be a press conference starting shortly on Rte.

https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0818/1159815-covid-19-blog/

From the link:

"All outdoor events will be limited to fifteen people, down from 200, under strict new limits on public gatherings agreed by cabinet this afternoon.

Under the restrictions, that will remain in place until 13 September at the earliest, indoor events will be limited to six people - reduced from 50 - except for businesses likes shops and restaurants which are subject to separate rules.

Weddings will be exempted from the new restrictions, meaning they can go ahead with fifty people.

The measures agreed by cabinet will mean that matches and other sporting fixtures will have to take place behind closed doors.

Gardaí will be given new powers to enforce rules around social gatherings, particularly in restaurants or bars serving food, and in private homes.

Under the measures agreed by cabinet, people will be advised to work from home and to avoid using public transport, unless absolutely necessary."

woodchuck

New guidance on wedding guest numbers to be reviewed:

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/politics/new-guidance-on-wedding-guest-numbers-to-be-reviewed-1.4333531

The Government is to review guidance on the maximum number of guests allowed at weddings after Ministers resisted proposals from the State’s public health team to limit them to six people.

Speaking following a sometimes fraught Cabinet meeting on Tuesday, Taoiseach Micheál Martin said that, instead of adopting the National Public Health Emergency Team (NPHET) advice, the Government “decided that we wanted to review that and reengage on that issue because we think we have to be fair to people who have wedding plans to the end of the year”.

“Weddings will continue as they currently are until a further decision is made,” he said.

This means there is still a limit of 50 on such a gathering.

So it sounds like there will be further guidance to come specifically in relation to weddings. Who knows what that will be or when though. Interesting that the government didn't just blindly follow NPHET's advice though!

yourdeadwright

woodchuck wrote: »

New guidance on wedding guest numbers to be reviewed:

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/politics/new-guidance-on-wedding-guest-numbers-to-be-reviewed-1.4333531



So it sounds like there will be further guidance to come specifically in relation to weddings. Who knows what that will be or when though. Interesting that the government didn't just blindly follow NPHET's advice though!

I listend to the full press conference and it looks like NPHET didn't want any wedding to go a head but the Government didn't take there advice,
I also heard on the 28th or 29ths there may be a new guideline for weddings,

I'd imagine all weddings in August can go ahead with the capacity of 50

I'd be worried if i had a wedding booked for September government may give in to NPHET if cases rise even slightly ,
Id be saying a prayer there are no out breaks at a wedding between now and the end of the month,

I'd imagine if just one gets out of hand action will be taking,

lisasimpson

I can see the numbers allowed at weddings reduced from 50. Esp as everyone is pointing out why 50 at wedding but only 6 allowed indoors otherwise

woodchuck

lisasimpson wrote: »

I can see the numbers allowed at weddings reduced from 50. Esp as everyone is pointing out why 50 at wedding but only 6 allowed indoors otherwise

I wouldn't be surprised either. Some people still seem to be holding out hope that the numbers will increase from 50 to 100, but that seems to be dead in the water for now...