2020 Bride/Groom

customrifle

If Micheal could do a solid and hold off on any further rash calls for 13 days it would be appreciated, can't have my head melted anymore 🙈

Jammyd

My reading of it is the same, seems like they are only allowing 50 for now as to not force people to cancel their day at the last minute notice with the likelihood of these events being scaled down.

We are one of those couples who were also hoping for the limit to increase but these last weeks have not been looking good, thrown on top of the farce in how they are handling travel (so much for the Green list being reviewed every 2 weeks) with a lot of our family abroad makes the situation even more stressful. Not to get political but the whole thing seems to have turned very negative since MM took over, very little positivity at all these days, its get the kids back to school at all costs and ignore the fact the increases stemmed from the govt mishandling at the meat factories and lack of enforcement of the rules with house parties etc, all a bit glum .

Raisins

The fact that MM refused to take the advice of nphet on weddings is a positive if you’re a person who is holding out hope for an increase. There’s a chance they’ll be put weddings into a separate bracket than every other house party or indoor gathering. This is the first time that has happened which is a good thing. Having said that if the state of the virus is sufficiently serious everything will be shut down without exception and rightly so. At the moment though sectors are opening at different speeds so who knows what will apply to weddings.

ilovesmybrick

Raisins wrote: »

The fact that MM refused to take the advice of nphet on weddings is a positive if you’re a person who is holding out hope for an increase. There’s a chance they’ll be put weddings into a separate bracket than every other house party or indoor gathering. This is the first time that has happened which is a good thing. Having said that if the state of the virus is sufficiently serious everything will be shut down without exception and rightly so. At the moment though sectors are opening at different speeds so who knows what will apply to weddings.

I think it may also be that NPHET's idea was mad. Didn't he say they wanted to initially restrict weddings to six people? So the couple, a celebrant, the two witnesses and one extra person.

woodchuck

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

I think it may also be that NPHET's idea was mad. Didn't he say they wanted to initially restrict weddings to six people? So the couple, a celebrant, the two witnesses and one extra person.

Parents could act as the witnesses... so yes, the couple and the celebrant make 3 leaving 3 spots available. If both sets of parents are still alive, how are you supposed to decide which parent to cut! 6 is actually a mad number... even 7 would make more sense at least.

Raisins

ilovesmybrick wrote: »

I think it may also be that NPHET's idea was mad. Didn't he say they wanted to initially restrict weddings to six people? So the couple, a celebrant, the two witnesses and one extra person.

No I think NPHET wanted all indoor gatherings at 6 people - it wasn’t a wedding specific proposal. The government have refused to do that and pulled wedding numbers away from indoor gatherings for the first time. That’s a positive move regardless as to how crazy you think NPHET was in including weddings as covered in that proposal. It’s not their job to tailor advice based on context - they only consider stopping virus. It’s up to government to decide what to prioritise (which is just another way of saying what NPHET advice it won’t follow).

It’s not clear whether that 6 people would applied in a church ceremony where 50 people are allowed. It’s a moot point because they didn’t bring it in.

woodchuck

Updated guidelines for the reopening of hotels and guesthouses was published today. This includes 1 page on weddings on page 29. The updated parts are highlighted in grey:
https://failtecdn.azureedge.net/failteireland/Guidelines-for-Re-opening-Hotels-and-Guesthouses.pdf?fbclid=IwAR3UjG4l8SXDsCSV9hSe8p-2u9rAETC830gbN5y7CsgkxtgMdwc18VugrfU

Of note:
■ Under Government Public Health Advice there can be a maximum
of 50 people in the function area including employees.
■ The function area must be self-contained and only one function
per area / room.
■ Businesses must follow updated Public Health advice to ensure
that all wedding guests leave the function/bar areas by 11.30pm.
Public Health advice states that these areas should be cleared
of all guests by 11.30pm. However, this does not include staff
members who will carry out closing procedures.
■ Face coverings should be worn by employees in customer facing
roles where no other protective measures are in place e.g.
protective screens and where physical distancing of 2 metres* is
not possible.
■ Face coverings should also be worn by guests when arriving to
and leaving their table

■ Multiple gatherings are allowed in venue facilities provided they
are in separate defined spaces and there are systems to prevent
intermingling in common spaces (e.g. entrances, exits and toilet
facilities).

Weepsie

If anyone like us is downsizing, and looking for a small Dublin venue Museum of literature are doing weddings for 30 people (includes any musicians or whatever you might have).

It's a lovely light filled room with access to iveagh gardens for photos.

We were going to go with it, but booked a dinner in Fallon & Byrne and are having a small ceremony elsewhere in city.

cazzer22

Weepsie wrote: »

If anyone like us is downsizing, and looking for a small Dublin venue Museum of literature are doing weddings for 30 people (includes any musicians or whatever you might have).

It's a lovely light filled room with access to iveagh gardens for photos.

We were going to go with it, but booked a dinner in Fallon & Byrne and are having a small ceremony elsewhere in city.

Hope you have the best day.

Lavdogg

Do you guys think that these could be modified or eased over the coming weeks? Our wedding is for 40 people at the end of October, but we are thinking about cancelling our band and photographer due to these new regulations

Doesn't make sense to have them if we are supposed to be finished by 11

Worst thing is, we had our wedding tasting on Saturday in Galway and the hotel was none the wiser, have to feel for them too!

customrifle

Five days before our wedding and the government move the goalposts again with new regulations, I don't know how other couples feel but it seems like we are being made an example of due to what went on in Galway last week. 2020 go home, you're drunk!!!

ep71

customrifle wrote: »

Five days before our wedding and the government move the goalposts again with new regulations, I don't know how other couples feel but it seems like we are being made an example of due to what went on in Galway last week. 2020 go home, you're drunk!!!

Is anyone else (like me) thinking these are guidelines not laws or regulations and these are from failte ireland not the government so really it's down to each hotel to choose to adhere to these guidelines or not?

We are planning to get married October 16th.

woodchuck

I really don't think this has anything to do with golf-gate. From what I've heard, the updates were already in the works before that. The issue with the golf event was that the updated guidance hadn't been published yet, so the hotel didn't change how they were operating after the government announcement.

I'm not aware of this being in any laws or regulations - it's just a guideline. However hotels do seem to be following the updated guidelines.

The issue is how different venues interpret the guidelines though. E.g. The one about wearing masks is confusing: "Face coverings should also be worn by guests when arriving to and leaving their table". It's not clear at all if guests need to wear face coverings for the whole day, except when they're sitting down for the meal. Or if they just need to wear it as they enter the dining room and put it back on if they need to go to the loo or the bar during the meal. I've heard of venues were the ceremony is in the hotel and the hotel is insisting that all guests wear face coverings during the whole ceremony, including the bride and groom (except for a quick photo). Whereas others are being more relaxed about it and saying they need to wear them on the way in/out of the ceremony room, but can take them off while seated.

The more information they come out with, the more questions are raised :rolleyes:

lisasimpson

I think weddings have become victims in the fall out of golfgate. The hospitality sector unfortunately had to be seen to do something about events that went rouge
The guildlines are a nightmare for hotels. Its like they dont want any wedding this year. We are planning on going ahead with less than 20 in october. Im fearful for that at this stage

Neyite

lisasimpson wrote: »

I think weddings have become victims in the fall out of golfgate. The hospitality sector unfortunately had to be seen to do something about events that went rouge
The guildlines are a nightmare for hotels. Its like they dont want any wedding this year. We are planning on going ahead with less than 20 in october. Im fearful for that at this stage

I'm sure they are fine with weddings going ahead - it's the wedding reception part that's the difficulty.

Currently in the news there's a wedding in Maine that has resulted in the death of someone who didn't even attend. 65 were there, (limit was 50) and there's been 53 cases (and counting ) linked to the wedding in an area of the US that previously had low numbers of covid. There's been loads of outbreaks at weddings so I can see why they want to keep numbers to a minimum.

The backlash for the government if large weddings reception went ahead and lives were lost as a result would be likely disastrous for the already shaky government. Fair play to you for wanting to go ahead with the small wedding - I don't think my stress levels would cope with the run up to it knowing that it could all change overnight.

alicantra123

I am due to get married the end of October as well. I've reduced my guest list down to 45 and just waiting and seeing at this stage but I have decided to just accept whatever the day has to be in the end.

I was originally supposed to get married in another venue and had to cancel due to their inflexibility it was causing me so much stress. I booked a new smaller venue on the condition that they include flexibility regarding COVID-19. So for example, if it can only be six people in the end, that we are only charged for that. They have been so good that I have no worries they'll accommodate me on the day and make sure it's special. Lost a good bit of money but it wasn't worth the stress to stay with the original place.

I cancelled my band and am just having a DJ now. I really loved my band and booked them even before our venue but it just won't work with the size of the venue, also with a DJ I think it's a little more relaxed and the DJ can go with whatever the vibe is. I'm keeping the photographer because for me it's still going to be such a memorable day.

It's all so disappointing and stressful but I don't really see things changing for a long time so even if I was happy to postpone again (which I won't be), it would be very hard to pick a date with any sense of certainty at all.

On another note I do have conflicting feelings about the wedding industry at the moment. On the one hand their whole industry has been devastated by all this, on the other I think it is becoming increasingly clear that what is being offered on the day isn't really a "wedding" and really the prices need to be adjusted accordingly. It might seem harsh and direct but charging 100e a head for a meal and a couple of hours of supervised dancing is just not what people have signed up for, or indeed agreed to when they agreed the prices per head.

Michellenman

Liveline discussing new restrictions on weddings now of anyone is interested.

douglashyde

We were due to get married in July, then moved to Oct 24th.

We have numbers at about 40 at private venue - our venue is taking Faite Ireland's new guidance very literal in the fallout of Golfgate and at this point could very well force us to cancel the reception an opt for a local church wedding. The idea of paying 40K+ for a supervised party with masks which finishes at 11.30PM seems like madness.

I feel for anyone working in the industry.


What really gets me in the illogical policy coming from govt. and interpretations coming from Fáilte Ireland. Evidence is suggesting that the spike in numbers is (generally) due to irresponsible work practices in industries that employ migrant labour and unsuitable living conditions in direct provision centres, this alongside increases in testing (in right areas) is leading to higher positive numbers but low death numbers. This is where efforts should be focused! It has little to do with sports organisations, restaurants, cafes or hotels who have been (mostly) diligent in adhering to the regulations and guidelines already. imo*

CV19 is a serious condition and shutting down all gatherings will no doubt reduce cases, as would shutting down the country in its entirety -- but there needs a balanced approach.

There's one last thing I will add to my rant: There's no roadmap for a rollout of a vaccine and the elimination of the virus from the State. We very well could be in the same situation for the first half of 2021(June 2021) too << these new guidelines will effect these weddings too.

blacklilly

Hi all,

Just wanted to let you know that we had our wedding on Friday and it was the most amazing day.
We postponed from May and had to change venue just 10 days ago as our original venue was in Kildare.
I cannot stress how perfect the day was. Our original guest list was over 200 and our new venue allowed us 50 guests.
We never dreamt of having such a small wedding but if I could do it again tomorrow I wouldn’t change a thing. All of our guests thoroughly enjoyed themselves.
We pushed the timing forward to make the most of the day so our wedding ceremony was at 12 and we opted for just the sacrament of marriage as opposed to a full mass.
We had dinner at 5.30 and the band came on at about 9 and played until 11.30 when the bar closed.
I know how difficult the last few months has been for all couples getting married and I know so many of us have had to make so many changes. Although the smaller numbers and earlier finishing time may not have been what we all dreamt of, I cannot stress how great the day was. We did not stop smiling, Everyone was routing for us and if anything it was a bigger celebration due to all the stress and anguish on the run up.
I know everyone is different but don’t let the current restrictions deter you from having your day, I had many days of feeling so upset and down about things but everything worked out perfectly.
I wish all brides and grooms to be here the very best of luck in your planning, for us the restrictions did not make our day any less special.

woodchuck

Delighted to hear that the day went so well for you blacklilly

Can I ask what approach the venue took with masks?

blacklilly

woodchuck wrote: »

Delighted to hear that the day went so well for you blacklilly

Can I ask what approach the venue took with masks?

Our venue had a large outdoor terraced area for the initial reception and staff did ask guests to wear masks when entering the building to use the toilet. The same applied when guests were leaving their tables to use the toilets. They did not ask either my husband (🙈) or I to wear one throughout the day.

Most guests did bring a mask and honestly it didn’t seem to bother anyone.

We had a day 2 there also and again whenever we left our private area to go into other areas, we wore masks.
Also, the venue asked the band to remind people of social distancing while dancing and that request was made every half hour as they played. However we didn’t feel that we were being babysat about it either.

Congratulations!! It's lovely to hear that you had a great day

woodchuck

Is anybody elses families seriously unsupportive? Emotionally I mean. We've already postponed once from 2020 to 2021, knowing that things won't be much better then, but we're going ahead regardless in 2021.

My brother will only be able to come if the situation with international travel is resolved. Even then I have my doubts that he will actually travel. I wouldn't hold that against him, as it's a big risk both in terms of finances and health. But a few months ago he said I could be murdering our parents if we went ahead with the wedding. So I don't talk to him about the wedding anymore...

My sister won't come due to health concerns (unless there's a vaccine, which we're not holding out hope for). Which is fair enough, except she's obsessed with Covid. She literally spends her life in a ball of anxiety over it. She lives with my parents and won't "let" them have visitors to their own home (I haven't even been to visit myself since before March). Like I said, it's fair enough that she doesn't want to go to social gathering during a pandemic, but she hasn't even acknowledged the fact that we've had to move the wedding. Not a single word of support throughout the whole thing.

And now even my parents are being iffy about coming to the wedding! They keep saying things like it'll depend on the case numbers at the time. E.g. if there's a spike/surge similar to what we're experiencing now, they won't come. Or if they do come, they won't stay for long. They can't say anything positive about it all. It's all just negativity about the latest restrictions. Instead of "it'll be a great day no matter what happens" it's all "who wants to get married with masks, that's not a wedding anyone wants to have" etc.

I never intended on having extended family there (we're not close and we want to keep things small). So now I'm picturing a wedding day where literally none of my family might be there. Or my parents will disappear straight after the ceremony. Ideally my parents want us just to have a registry office wedding and meal, with just both sets of parents and that's it. That's not what we want though and I don't want to change the entire day to suit them. I know I can't force them to come if they're uncomfortable, but I can't imagine getting married without my parents there.

Any time I start to feel positive about the wedding again, after I talk to them, I just end up upset. I just don't know know how to deal with their negativity! I've told them how hurtful their comments are, but they just say that they're not going to walk on eggshells when they're talking to me. I don't think I'm being precious or anything, I just want a little positivity in what has already been a ****show of a year

nikpmup

Just to let people know... I've just got an email from the registry office in Dublin saying that the most you can have at a ceremony are the couple, the two witnesses and a further eight guests. The wedding exemption doesn't seem to apply. I'll be going in to them on the 11th September for my notification appointment (getting married on the 23rd) and I'll seek clarification then, but if it's true then I have to cut out at least four of my family members for the ceremony, five if I want the photographer in!

nikpmup

Just to let people know... I've just got an email from the registry office in Dublin saying that the most you can have at a ceremony are the couple, the two witnesses and a further eight guests. The wedding exemption doesn't seem to apply. I'll be going in to them on the 11th September for my notification appointment (getting married on the 23rd) and I'll seek clarification then, but if it's true then I have to cut out at least four of my family members for the ceremony, five if I want the photographer in!

nikpmup

woodchuck wrote: »

Is anybody elses families seriously unsupportive? Emotionally I mean. We've already postponed once from 2020 to 2021, knowing that things won't be much better then, but we're going ahead regardless in 2021.

My brother will only be able to come if the situation with international travel is resolved. Even then I have my doubts that he will actually travel. I wouldn't hold that against him, as it's a big risk both in terms of finances and health. But a few months ago he said I could be murdering our parents if we went ahead with the wedding. So I don't talk to him about the wedding anymore...

My sister won't come due to health concerns (unless there's a vaccine, which we're not holding out hope for). Which is fair enough, except she's obsessed with Covid. She literally spends her life in a ball of anxiety over it. She lives with my parents and won't "let" them have visitors to their own home (I haven't even been to visit myself since before March). Like I said, it's fair enough that she doesn't want to go to social gathering during a pandemic, but she hasn't even acknowledged the fact that we've had to move the wedding. Not a single word of support throughout the whole thing.

And now even my parents are being iffy about coming to the wedding! They keep saying things like it'll depend on the case numbers at the time. E.g. if there's a spike/surge similar to what we're experiencing now, they won't come. Or if they do come, they won't stay for long. They can't say anything positive about it all. It's all just negativity about the latest restrictions. Instead of "it'll be a great day no matter what happens" it's all "who wants to get married with masks, that's not a wedding anyone wants to have" etc.

I never intended on having extended family there (we're not close and we want to keep things small). So now I'm picturing a wedding day where literally none of my family might be there. Or my parents will disappear straight after the ceremony. Ideally my parents want us just to have a registry office wedding and meal, with just both sets of parents and that's it. That's not what we want though and I don't want to change the entire day to suit them. I know I can't force them to come if they're uncomfortable, but I can't imagine getting married without my parents there.

Any time I start to feel positive about the wedding again, after I talk to them, I just end up upset. I just don't know know how to deal with their negativity! I've told them how hurtful their comments are, but they just say that they're not going to walk on eggshells when they're talking to me. I don't think I'm being precious or anything, I just want a little positivity in what has already been a ****show of a year

That sucks, woodchuck My mam is now talking about not going.

woodchuck

nikpmup wrote: »

That sucks, woodchuck My mam is now talking about not going.

Sorry to hear that It's awful though, isn't it. I just don't know how to deal with it. And I know it's mainly coming from a place of fear about the virus, but it's just heartbreaking when you see and hear about weddings going ahead now with the bride and grooms nearest and dearest and I may not even have that.

It's sounds like my parents are literally going to wait until a few days before the wedding, see what way the number of cases are, and then decide if they'll come or not. We had a huge argument before about whether or not I'll be allowed get ready in the family home. We're buying our own house now though, so I might just get ready there instead. My family are welcome to come if they want, but I don't want to have to ask permission to get ready at home, especially if that permission can be revoked at any time.

I'm also not sure what to do about hair and makeup now. I booked someone to do makeup. It's not cheap at all and the minimum call out fee is for 4 people (me, my one bridesmaid, my mam and my sister). I highly highly doubt my sister or mam will want their makeup done by a stranger now though (can't even bring myself to have that conversation yet!). So I don't know if I'll be spending twice as much for only 2 of us to have makeup done or if I should cancel and try to find someone who'll come out for just 2 of us.

And my brothers girlfriend said she'd do my hair, but that'll depend on whether or not they'll be able to fly home next year. So I'm half thinking I should just book someone here so I'm not worrying. I don't want to offend my brothers girlfriend though and I really would like for her to be involved if she is able to fly home. And again, I'd be probably be looking for someone who will just do hair for 2 people, which might be hard to fine. It's a Sunday too, so salons are closed, so can't just pop in for a regular hair appointment.

It's just a mess...

Pen Rua

How has everyone's DJs/entertainment been handling the 11.30pm cut off & the instructions to not explicitly encourage dancing etc? We reached out to our DJ last week and he came back a little unhelpful. Trying to gauge which side of this are being unreasonable - us or them.

We passed on the message from the hotel re the 11.30pm cut off, and that they specifically asked that we tell the DJ not to encourage dancing. I think that's reasonable and more just to cover themselves.

We also asked could we review the price, since he'll be wrapping at 11.30pm as opposed to 2-2.30am and he flat out refused. We didn't put out a percentage or an amount - just put it out there since there will be three hours less work on the night and he just said no.

We both came away feeling a little down from the email.

yourdeadwright

Pen Rua wrote: »

How has everyone's DJs/entertainment been handling the 11.30pm cut off & the instructions to not explicitly encourage dancing etc? We reached out to our DJ last week and he came back a little unhelpful. Trying to gauge which side of this are being unreasonable - us or them.

We passed on the message from the hotel re the 11.30pm cut off, and that they specifically asked that we tell the DJ not to encourage dancing. I think that's reasonable and more just to cover themselves.

We also asked could we review the price, since he'll be wrapping at 11.30pm as opposed to 2-2.30am and he flat out refused. We didn't put out a percentage or an amount - just put it out there since there will be three hours less work on the night and he just said no.

We both came away feeling a little down from the email.

Would I be right in saying the rule of 1130pm just applies to function rooms ?
So if you had a residents bar a hotel could technically move furniture out and let you stay on there as long as you like and have the DJ ,

Pen Rua

yourdeadwright wrote: »

Would I be right in saying the rule of 1130pm just applies to function rooms ?
So if you had a residents bar a hotel could technically move furniture out and let you stay on there as long as you like and have the DJ ,

I don't think anyone knows for sure...!

But the hotel's position is a prudent one. Their view is that the wedding needs to finish up in or around 11.30pm, which seems to tally with the Failte Ireland documents released last week.