Fortnite

jimbob_t1

Look into something called Ikydz, with it you can limit the time each device gets connected to the net and/or limit access to specific apps or adult content. Well worth the €100!!

LegacyUser

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Video games are relatively more "active" at least and he's engaging with his friends.

He might be engaging with friends but he's not developing good social skills. My brother has always been big into video games and became worse and worse the older he got, spent most of his teens and early 20s playing online games. My parents let him play all night and sleep all day during the summer as we lived out the country and they felt it was the same as 'playing with friends in the yard' Meanwhile I went out and got a job. I use to be really annoyed about it but it's come back to bit him in the ass now. He's struggling to hold down a job despite having the qualifications cus his social skills are really poor. We work in the same field so I had a friend help him get a job in at their office and he wasn't kept on after his temp contract finished and my friend told me it was because he was lethargic during the day and found it hard to focus due playing games online all night. He had a 12 week job in another city and didn't take his computer and the difference was a amazing as he was out walking every day and developing a proper social life but once back home he was sucked right back in and is now just as bad as ever.

OP teach your son good work/life balance now as it becomes more and more difficult the longer you let it go on.

Tigerandahalf

jimbob_t1 wrote: »

Look into something called Ikydz, with it you can limit the time each device gets connected to the net and/or limit access to specific apps or adult content. Well worth the €100!!

That sounds like a very good idea. It is very difficult with wifi throughout a house to manage the time a kid spends on the net.
I would like to get something that would allow us to control the wifi from our phones and then allot a hour or so to the kids, perhaps with countdown or sandtimer clock so the kid knows how much is left.

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
Those newer ps4 etc games where kids are playing against each other are a bit of a minefield as I am sure they can be communicating with each other as well. The games we grew up with were safer in that way.

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

That sounds like a very good idea. It is very difficult with wifi throughout a house to manage the time a kid spends on the net.
I would like to get something that would allow us to control the wifi from our phones and then allot a hour or so to the kids, perhaps with countdown or sandtimer clock so the kid knows how much is left.

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
Those newer ps4 etc games where kids are playing against each other are a bit of a minefield as I am sure they can be communicating with each other as well. The games we grew up with were safer in that way.

This could be of interest to you
https://koalasafe.com

iamtony

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Ask yourself were he watching TV instead of fortnite would you be looking to limit him? Parents often seem to have an aversion to their kids spending hours absorbed playing video games but then don't bat an eyelid to kids sitting on the couch watching hours of TV. Video games are relatively more "active" at least and he's engaging with his friends.

Yeah I don't get some parents. It's like the whole i won't let Johnnie have a phone till they are 14 yet they have an iPad since they were six which can do the exact same things that young people use them for.
Op my teen was glued to the PlayStation for years but once he discovered girls it doesn't get switched on very often. Don't sweat it to much but do limit the hours. Take the phone off him at night is one piece of advice I'd give or he will be up all night on it.

Tigerandahalf

dan1895 wrote: »

This could be of interest to you
https://koalasafe.com

Does that have to be connected into your existing router? Is there much to set up?

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

Does that have to be connected into your existing router? Is there much to set up?

Yes it acts as a barrier so to speak. The devices will all be connected to the koalasafe rather than the normal router. Not much to the set up but you'll have to get any devices off your son and forget the original network.

Tigerandahalf

dan1895 wrote: »

Yes it acts as a barrier so to speak. The devices will all be connected to the koalasafe rather than the normal router. Not much to the set up but you'll have to get any devices off your son and forget the original network.

Is it all controlled from an app on your phone?
Can you put countdown timers on their device so they know how much time they have left? I can imagine the meltdowns if it cut off in an instance?
Also can you edit the dns settings on the koala?

firemansam4

dan1895 wrote:

This could be of interest to you

With just a little bit more coding most broadband modems/routers provided by the ISP would be able to have some sort of set up like this.
It would be nice if they created a more user friendly access page to allow such control over wifi acess ect.

JJJJNR

Get an IT person to change the wifi router password, and block the port and IP address of the PC, and any other devices he has. Then buy him a vodafone dongle with a 50 GB limit, hook his devices up to this and tell him with this once he hits 50 GB there's no more gaming, no more you tube, the 30 euro a month it costs to keep the dongle in data should be used from pocket money from chores he does around the house. No chores no gaming.

He will need to work out himself how much time he can spend online.

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

Is it all controlled from an app on your phone?
Can you put countdown timers on their device so they know how much time they have left? I can imagine the meltdowns if it cut off in an instance?
Also can you edit the dns settings on the koala?

Its controlled by an app and you can set it to come on and off automatically. Different users can have different times so you can have wifi access while your children don't like after bedtime. I don't know if it has a countdown timer though but you can tell them it'll be going off at a specific time. That is literally all i know about it. I set one up once for someone but don't use it myself as my eldest isn't even four yet.

iamtony

That won't stop him using the hot-spot on his phone.

Stone Deaf 4evr

iamtony wrote: »

That won't stop him using the hot-spot on his phone.

Cabaal

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
.

If some kids were addicted to magazines is it upto the magazine industry to help parents out to (even though the parents give their child the money to buy them)?

What if some 17 year olds are addicted to driving on certain roads that parents don't want them on, is it the government job to stop them even though the parents gives them the car, keys to the car and tax/insures it for their child to use?

Sometimes people just need to be parents, its not fun but long term its better for the kid.

There are loads and loads of resources for parents to restrict, monitor and limit access to the internet for their kids, plenty of them are free and plenty of them are charged.

Outside of these services there are other options such as blocking or restricting certain ports used for certain games/services so they can't be used on your home internet connection anymore. You can do this with most routers some research and a very little IT knowledge.

Even relatively simple free services such as OpenDNS can be useful https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/

LegacyUser

ismat wrote: »

My 12 year old boy is playing a lot of this game and dosent ever want to stop. What Can I do ?

Time to have a family conversation and put rules in place regarding screen time. Once this is made clear and stuck to, it will become easier for you and him to regulate his use of any screens. Its time everybody (not just you) stopes blaming the game for basic parenting fails/slips.

Tombo2001

I'm having same issues with our son.

I'm considering just deleting the game; even though I know it will lead to the daddy of all blow ups.

Fortnite seems to be different to other computer games, and to TV.

It seems more compulsive, more addictive and leads to major mood swings and major tantrums.

Tombo2001

Incidentally - there are some amount of condescending posts on this forum - its gas how many people are able to offer advice that they've never had to implement themselves.

Every bit of advice on offer here, I can confidently say - tried and failed.

It's gas how many people can't see that other people explaining that it is parents who are responsible for what types of entertainment their children consume isn't condescending.

shesty

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I'm considering just deleting the game; even though I know it will lead to the daddy of all blow ups.

It seems more compulsive, more addictive and leads to major mood swings and major tantrums.

To be honest, I would take it on the chin and have the blow up.

It's the same as any parenting thing.....I literally have thought to myself "ok if i turn off the tv/implement time out/tell them we aren't going where we said we would because they can't behave themselves (or whatever), they will absolutely freak out and ugh, the actual effort of dealing with the freak out is way more (for me) than just letting the bad behaviour (or whatever) go".I'd say there isn't a parent around who hasn't thought like that at times.Honestly, there are days I think to myself sure I'll just let them away with not eating dinner or let them watch mindless hours of hyper tv, or let them run themselves into the ground and go to bed way too late, instead of putting loads of MY effort into fighting to try to get them to eat or whatever.I mean come on, I get fed up having the same stupid fights over and over with them!!!It's so boring and endless and (insert adjective here)!!!

But I guess equally, it's me that has to deal with the fallout, so you get stung by it all one way or the other.And at the end of the day, my job is to be their parent, not their friend.

But there are quite a few days where I think parenting makes me the most boring person in my own life.No two ways about it.

mitresize5

great post

My neices, nephews and mates friends think I'm the best thing since sliced pan cause I never have to say no to them.

My own would burn me at the stake at times ... I can see it in their eyes :-)

Tombo2001

Deleted User wrote: »

It's gas how many people can't see that other people explaining that it is up to a parents are responsible for what types of entertainment their children consume isn't condescending.

Really....its up to the parent to parent.....is it...... have you any other great insights?

Cause up to now, i always thought that parents got other people in to do it....

Exactly the type of condescension I am talking about.

At least I think thats what you are saying, in between the double negatives and the incomplete phrasing. (thats me meeting your condescension with some of my own. This is called 'learned behaviour' - the parents in the room will know what this is; its when people start doing the same things that they see the people around them doing).

Tombo2001

shesty wrote: »

To be honest, I would take it on the chin and have the blow up.

It's the same as any parenting thing.....I literally have thought to myself "ok if i turn off the tv/implement time out/tell them we aren't going where we said we would because they can't behave themselves (or whatever), they will absolutely freak out and ugh, the actual effort of dealing with the freak out is way more (for me) than just letting the bad behaviour (or whatever) go".I'd say there isn't a parent around who hasn't thought like that at times.Honestly, there are days I think to myself sure I'll just let them away with not eating dinner or let them watch mindless hours of hyper tv, or let them run themselves into the ground and go to bed way too late, instead of putting loads of MY effort into fighting to try to get them to eat or whatever.I mean come on, I get fed up having the same stupid fights over and over with them!!!It's so boring and endless and (insert adjective here)!!!

But I guess equally, it's me that has to deal with the fallout, so you get stung by it all one way or the other.And at the end of the day, my job is to be their parent, not their friend.

But there are quite a few days where I think parenting makes me the most boring person in my own life.No two ways about it.

All true; but what does that mean in practice with reference to the subject.

Can you give me an example where your child had a hobby/ pastime that was their number one thing to do by a country mile, it was all they talked about with their friends, it was the first thing they asked about when they wake up in morning - and you said:

.........No - you aint doing that any more, ever again.


If so - how did it work out.

listermint

Tombo2001 wrote: »

All true; but what does that mean in practice with reference to the subject.

Can you give me an example where your child had a hobby/ pastime that was their number one thing to do by a country mile, it was all they talked about with their friends, it was the first thing they asked about when they wake up in morning - and you said:

.........No - you aint doing that any more, ever again.


If so - how did it work out.

Why are you going on like youve discovered a new phenomenon ?


Because that is the way you are coming across.

If your child only ever takes about 1 thing and its the first and last thing they think about daily then its obsessive behaviour and you need to start looking at ways to discuss it with them and perhaps professionals.

Limiting screen time as has been said here is an option. Pretending that nothing works is not.

Youve basically given out to everyone and said its impossible.


Good input!

Tombo2001

listermint wrote: »

Why are you going on like youve discovered a new phenomenon ?


Because that is the way you are coming across.

If your child only ever takes about 1 thing and its the first and last thing they think about daily then its obsessive behaviour and you need to start looking at ways to discuss it with them and perhaps professionals.

Limiting screen time as has been said here is an option. Pretending that nothing works is not.

Youve basically given out to everyone and said its impossible.


Good input!

Yes - you are right, it is obsessive behaviour. Maybe that is a little strong; maybe compulsive behaviour.

I guess the nub of the issue for me is that I'd like to hear from parents with young kids playing this particular game.

I dont get the impression that this has been the case in this thread.

listermint

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Yes - you are right, it is obsessive behaviour. Maybe that is a little strong; maybe compulsive behaviour.

I guess the nub of the issue for me is that I'd like to hear from parents with young kids playing this particular game.

I dont get the impression that this has been the case in this thread.

My kids arent old enough to play it. But if they got into a pattern of compulsive and obsessive behaviour then i would be forced to discuss it with them. And come to a compromise.

i.e they have a set time for it (agreed time) and anytime outside of that its off.

If they cant come to an agreement then its off / removed / gone.

Tombo2001

listermint wrote: »

My kids arent old enough to play it. But if they got into a pattern of compulsive and obsessive behaviour then i would be forced to discuss it with them. And come to a compromise.

i.e they have a set time for it (agreed time) and anytime outside of that its off.

If they cant come to an agreement then its off / removed / gone.

Ok - thats what you would do.......hypothetically, and having never been in the situation.

Again - what I would be interested in hearing from is a parent is who has actually been there with this game.

listermint

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Ok - thats what you would do.......hypothetically.

Again - what I would be interested in hearing from is a parent is who has actually been there with this game.

Without being candid.

Have you tried it?

'hypothetically'

Or are you in fear of actually discussing things with your child ?

Tombo2001

listermint wrote: »

Without being candid.

Have you tried it?

'hypothetically'

Or are you in fear of actually discussing things with your child ?

As mentioned, am interested in hearing from parents who have been in this situation, with this game.

Tks.

listermint

Tombo2001 wrote: »

As mentioned, am interested in hearing from parents who have been in this situation, with this game.

Tks.

Thats a no then.

Ok we will wait for someone to come along to tell you an alternative plan than discussing a problem with your child.

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Tombo2001 wrote: »

what I would be interested in hearing from is a parent is who has actually been there with this game.

Sounds like you are trying to devalue everybodies advice on here because they are not in the exact same situation as you. The game is irrelevant here. It's the behavior that's important. Take the advice, or don't take the advice, that's your choice, but there's no magic solution here. You are going to have to put in the work.

If you are only interested in hearing from parents with young kids playing this game, you may as well just close the thread.