Fortnite

ismat

My 12 year old boy is playing a lot of this game and dosent ever want to stop. What Can I do ?

SSr0

Take it off him. I know grown men addicted to that game.

AmberGold

Nothing, they’re e all mad into it. Tell him he has two or three hours a day and police it. Then confiscate the controllers until his next stint.

If things get out of hand, moods etc cut the hours. He’ll get the message soon enough.

ismat

SSr0 wrote: »

Take it off him. I know grown men addicted to that game.

He would get very mad if I tried to take him back ff it . The last thing I want is a mad 12 year old 😬

dobman88

ismat wrote: »

He would get very mad if I tried to take him back ff it . The last thing I want is a mad 12 year old 😬

Lol..who's the parent, him or you? Take it off him, if he kicks off taken the whole system off him. Tell him he'll have it if he behaves. He'll get the message

ismat

dobman88 wrote: »

Lol..who's the parent, him or you? Take it off him, if he kicks off taken the whole system off him. Tell him he'll have it if he behaves. He'll get the message

Yeah that’s what it thought. The problem is he is playing on a pc and is on the home network. He is very good at coding etc and I’ve no doubt he would be able to lock me out before I could block him 🙄

The_Chap

ismat wrote: »

Yeah that’s what it thought. The problem is he is playing on a pc and is on the home network. He is very good at coding etc and I’ve no doubt he would be able to lock me out before I could block him 🙄

Seriously? Pick up said PC and lock it away, he can’t code on something that’s not physically there!

Nate--IRL--

How good is he at fixing network cables? Snip Snip

Nate

PucaMama

Give him a time he can play. Don’t take it off him. He has done no wrong.

ismat

Nate--IRL-- wrote: »

How good is he at fixing network cables? Snip Snip

Nate

He had a lap top and an iPhone.

dobman88

ismat wrote: »

Yeah that’s what it thought. The problem is he is playing on a pc and is on the home network. He is very good at coding etc and I’ve no doubt he would be able to lock me out before I could block him 🙄

Take the plug out of the pc if he goes over time. All the coding knowledge in the world can't make something work without power.

CiarraiAbu2

Turn off the wifi at night and try to limit him.

ismat

CiarraiAbu2 wrote: »

Turn off the wifi at night and try to limit him.

He can generate a hotspot from his phone if he needs to. Tbh I am starting to wonder if it’s problem at all as all his mates are playing online all the time.

Pauliedragon

The_Chap wrote: »

Seriously? Pick up said PC and lock it away, he can’t code on something that’s not physically there!

ismat wrote: »

He had a lap top and an iPhone.

Take every device off him that has access to the internet. Is he in charge of the house or you?

The Pheasant2

Ask yourself were he watching TV instead of fortnite would you be looking to limit him? Parents often seem to have an aversion to their kids spending hours absorbed playing video games but then don't bat an eyelid to kids sitting on the couch watching hours of TV. Video games are relatively more "active" at least and he's engaging with his friends.

The Pheasant2

Pauliedragon wrote: »

Take every device off him that has access to the internet. Is he in charge of the house or you?

Why? OP hasn't indicated he's deserving of any punishment at all.

martyc5674

If it’s becoming obsessive I would look at controlling it. Letting him know when he can use it etc.
I don’t buy the “hotspot” or he’s good at coding... it’s up to you to sort that.

Bottom line... if it’s becoming more important to him than playing with his friends/playing sport/other real life engagements then it’s a problem.

ismat

martyc5674 wrote: »

If it’s becoming obsessive I would look at controlling it. Letting him know when he can use it etc.
I don’t buy the “hotspot” or he’s good at coding... it’s up to you to sort that.

Bottom line... if it’s becoming more important to him than playing with his friends/playing sport/other real life engagements then it’s a problem.

That’s the strange thing about it all his mates play it as well and seem to be online as much as him. So in effect he is playing with his friends just online rather than in the garden outside

martyc5674

ismat wrote: »

That’s the strange thing about it all his mates play it as well and seem to be online as much as him. So in effect he is playing with his friends just online rather than in the garden outside

Well you have to ask yourself the question, is that healthy?
Is that how you you want him to grow up?

I’d forget about what his friends are doing and concentrate on your own lad.
Make sure his life is balanced.

Don’t use his friends activity as a bench mark.

Pauliedragon

ismat wrote: »

He would get very mad if I tried to take him back ff it . The last thing I want is a mad 12 year old ��

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Why? OP hasn't indicated he's deserving of any punishment at all.

I never suggested punishment I'm suggesting no 12 year old should have access non stop to 3 forms of internet access. OP also says the child will get mad.No child should get mad at their parents for setting boundries.

wirelessdude01

You have to wonder who actually is in charge here, the parent or the kid? Be the parent.

I actually can't believe you don't know the answer to your question. If this isn't a troll, I am extremely worried

Payton

What does your other half have to say about this?
Honestly a 12 year old shouldn't be on a game like that for that length of time its very worrying as is his attitude.
This needs to be nipped in the bud quickly and some ground rules put in place for everyone's sanity.

firemansam4

ismat wrote:

That’s the strange thing about it all his mates play it as well and seem to be online as much as him. So in effect he is playing with his friends just online rather than in the garden outside

I know one of my sons friends (10 yr old) who plays this game at 2am sometimes, my son said he has fallen asleep in class sometimes. Maybe that means I should let my son play at 2am as well?

If your son is accessing games or the internet after you have told him explicitly that he can't then he is holding the power over you, and that is only going to get a lot worse as he gets older.
You need to do what ever you have to do to get back control, and if that means taking all his devices of him or something like that then you need to do it.

delly

Hi OP, I've no idea on your parenting practices so don't want to offend you when this, but you either need to get your boundaries and limits in order, or your post is one big troll.

You speak of Fortnite as if it's a mystical thing you have no control over, but Fortnite happens to be the current number 1 game and I could give you a list of others that have been popular over the years. A parent needs to monitor their child's online activities and claiming he's a coding wizard is just an excuse. You put a time limit on it, just like anything else that you feel is having a negative impact. If he plays outside of this, you remove access to the PC. If he uses hotspots then you remove the phone. You don't do it as a preventative measure, you do it when he breaks your rules.

dan1895

My sister in law was having the same problem with her son. He was saying he was online with friends but turned out that was just a small amount of the time.
He would stay up until about 5am playing it and then sleep for most of the day. Finally things had to change after he became violent after being asked to get off it to help around the house so now I have his PS4 in my house. He's been off it for about 4 weeks now and his attitude has improved, his personal hygiene has improved, he's doing a GAA summer camp and he's even got himself a summer job 2 days a week.

fima

It doesn’t matter how good he is at coding or has access to hotspots, I assume you pay the bills ? You are the adult so set limits and enforce them. Make them clear, be reasonable and define what will happen when these limits are breached. Give warnings and follow through on your warnings. Be consistent. Talk to him!

Dravokivich

ismat wrote: »

He would get very mad if I tried to take him back ff it . The last thing I want is a mad 12 year old 😬

Why are you afraid of your child?

Lord Nikon

Ever so slightly, the wire that goes from the modem to the wall, pull it out, so the internet in the house goes, but the wire sits in the socket. Boom, no wifi in the house, but I have mobile data. See him playing Fortnite now?

Lord Nikon

dobman88 wrote: »

Take the plug out of the pc if he goes over time. All the coding knowledge in the world can't make something work without power.

Take the fuse out of the plug.

Agent Smith

he's 12.

Your the Parent. Act like it and Just take his access away.

jimbob_t1

Look into something called Ikydz, with it you can limit the time each device gets connected to the net and/or limit access to specific apps or adult content. Well worth the €100!!

LegacyUser

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Video games are relatively more "active" at least and he's engaging with his friends.

He might be engaging with friends but he's not developing good social skills. My brother has always been big into video games and became worse and worse the older he got, spent most of his teens and early 20s playing online games. My parents let him play all night and sleep all day during the summer as we lived out the country and they felt it was the same as 'playing with friends in the yard' Meanwhile I went out and got a job. I use to be really annoyed about it but it's come back to bit him in the ass now. He's struggling to hold down a job despite having the qualifications cus his social skills are really poor. We work in the same field so I had a friend help him get a job in at their office and he wasn't kept on after his temp contract finished and my friend told me it was because he was lethargic during the day and found it hard to focus due playing games online all night. He had a 12 week job in another city and didn't take his computer and the difference was a amazing as he was out walking every day and developing a proper social life but once back home he was sucked right back in and is now just as bad as ever.

OP teach your son good work/life balance now as it becomes more and more difficult the longer you let it go on.

Tigerandahalf

jimbob_t1 wrote: »

Look into something called Ikydz, with it you can limit the time each device gets connected to the net and/or limit access to specific apps or adult content. Well worth the €100!!

That sounds like a very good idea. It is very difficult with wifi throughout a house to manage the time a kid spends on the net.
I would like to get something that would allow us to control the wifi from our phones and then allot a hour or so to the kids, perhaps with countdown or sandtimer clock so the kid knows how much is left.

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
Those newer ps4 etc games where kids are playing against each other are a bit of a minefield as I am sure they can be communicating with each other as well. The games we grew up with were safer in that way.

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

That sounds like a very good idea. It is very difficult with wifi throughout a house to manage the time a kid spends on the net.
I would like to get something that would allow us to control the wifi from our phones and then allot a hour or so to the kids, perhaps with countdown or sandtimer clock so the kid knows how much is left.

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
Those newer ps4 etc games where kids are playing against each other are a bit of a minefield as I am sure they can be communicating with each other as well. The games we grew up with were safer in that way.

This could be of interest to you
https://koalasafe.com

iamtony

The Pheasant2 wrote: »

Ask yourself were he watching TV instead of fortnite would you be looking to limit him? Parents often seem to have an aversion to their kids spending hours absorbed playing video games but then don't bat an eyelid to kids sitting on the couch watching hours of TV. Video games are relatively more "active" at least and he's engaging with his friends.

Yeah I don't get some parents. It's like the whole i won't let Johnnie have a phone till they are 14 yet they have an iPad since they were six which can do the exact same things that young people use them for.
Op my teen was glued to the PlayStation for years but once he discovered girls it doesn't get switched on very often. Don't sweat it to much but do limit the hours. Take the phone off him at night is one piece of advice I'd give or he will be up all night on it.

Tigerandahalf

dan1895 wrote: »

This could be of interest to you
https://koalasafe.com

Does that have to be connected into your existing router? Is there much to set up?

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

Does that have to be connected into your existing router? Is there much to set up?

Yes it acts as a barrier so to speak. The devices will all be connected to the koalasafe rather than the normal router. Not much to the set up but you'll have to get any devices off your son and forget the original network.

Tigerandahalf

dan1895 wrote: »

Yes it acts as a barrier so to speak. The devices will all be connected to the koalasafe rather than the normal router. Not much to the set up but you'll have to get any devices off your son and forget the original network.

Is it all controlled from an app on your phone?
Can you put countdown timers on their device so they know how much time they have left? I can imagine the meltdowns if it cut off in an instance?
Also can you edit the dns settings on the koala?

firemansam4

dan1895 wrote:

This could be of interest to you

With just a little bit more coding most broadband modems/routers provided by the ISP would be able to have some sort of set up like this.
It would be nice if they created a more user friendly access page to allow such control over wifi acess ect.

JJJJNR

Get an IT person to change the wifi router password, and block the port and IP address of the PC, and any other devices he has. Then buy him a vodafone dongle with a 50 GB limit, hook his devices up to this and tell him with this once he hits 50 GB there's no more gaming, no more you tube, the 30 euro a month it costs to keep the dongle in data should be used from pocket money from chores he does around the house. No chores no gaming.

He will need to work out himself how much time he can spend online.

dan1895

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

Is it all controlled from an app on your phone?
Can you put countdown timers on their device so they know how much time they have left? I can imagine the meltdowns if it cut off in an instance?
Also can you edit the dns settings on the koala?

Its controlled by an app and you can set it to come on and off automatically. Different users can have different times so you can have wifi access while your children don't like after bedtime. I don't know if it has a countdown timer though but you can tell them it'll be going off at a specific time. That is literally all i know about it. I set one up once for someone but don't use it myself as my eldest isn't even four yet.

iamtony

That won't stop him using the hot-spot on his phone.

Stone Deaf 4evr

iamtony wrote: »

That won't stop him using the hot-spot on his phone.

Cabaal

Tigerandahalf wrote: »

I really think ISPs need to step upto the mark here too in helping parents with this issue.
.

If some kids were addicted to magazines is it upto the magazine industry to help parents out to (even though the parents give their child the money to buy them)?

What if some 17 year olds are addicted to driving on certain roads that parents don't want them on, is it the government job to stop them even though the parents gives them the car, keys to the car and tax/insures it for their child to use?

Sometimes people just need to be parents, its not fun but long term its better for the kid.

There are loads and loads of resources for parents to restrict, monitor and limit access to the internet for their kids, plenty of them are free and plenty of them are charged.

Outside of these services there are other options such as blocking or restricting certain ports used for certain games/services so they can't be used on your home internet connection anymore. You can do this with most routers some research and a very little IT knowledge.

Even relatively simple free services such as OpenDNS can be useful https://www.opendns.com/home-internet-security/

LegacyUser

ismat wrote: »

My 12 year old boy is playing a lot of this game and dosent ever want to stop. What Can I do ?

Time to have a family conversation and put rules in place regarding screen time. Once this is made clear and stuck to, it will become easier for you and him to regulate his use of any screens. Its time everybody (not just you) stopes blaming the game for basic parenting fails/slips.

Tombo2001

I'm having same issues with our son.

I'm considering just deleting the game; even though I know it will lead to the daddy of all blow ups.

Fortnite seems to be different to other computer games, and to TV.

It seems more compulsive, more addictive and leads to major mood swings and major tantrums.

Tombo2001

Incidentally - there are some amount of condescending posts on this forum - its gas how many people are able to offer advice that they've never had to implement themselves.

Every bit of advice on offer here, I can confidently say - tried and failed.

It's gas how many people can't see that other people explaining that it is parents who are responsible for what types of entertainment their children consume isn't condescending.

shesty

Tombo2001 wrote: »

I'm considering just deleting the game; even though I know it will lead to the daddy of all blow ups.

It seems more compulsive, more addictive and leads to major mood swings and major tantrums.

To be honest, I would take it on the chin and have the blow up.

It's the same as any parenting thing.....I literally have thought to myself "ok if i turn off the tv/implement time out/tell them we aren't going where we said we would because they can't behave themselves (or whatever), they will absolutely freak out and ugh, the actual effort of dealing with the freak out is way more (for me) than just letting the bad behaviour (or whatever) go".I'd say there isn't a parent around who hasn't thought like that at times.Honestly, there are days I think to myself sure I'll just let them away with not eating dinner or let them watch mindless hours of hyper tv, or let them run themselves into the ground and go to bed way too late, instead of putting loads of MY effort into fighting to try to get them to eat or whatever.I mean come on, I get fed up having the same stupid fights over and over with them!!!It's so boring and endless and (insert adjective here)!!!

But I guess equally, it's me that has to deal with the fallout, so you get stung by it all one way or the other.And at the end of the day, my job is to be their parent, not their friend.

But there are quite a few days where I think parenting makes me the most boring person in my own life.No two ways about it.

mitresize5

great post

My neices, nephews and mates friends think I'm the best thing since sliced pan cause I never have to say no to them.

My own would burn me at the stake at times ... I can see it in their eyes :-)