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Why do women speak in riddles when they want a one-night stand?

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  • 28-05-2018 3:47pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭


    This is partially inspired the one-night stand thread, not a spin-off thread where I pretend I'm the other woman's husband or something.

    Anywho, why are women a bit cloak and dagger when it comes to facilitating one-night stands? I've accidentally turned down some of these in the past because I've been way too pissed to pick up on their covert way of disguising the invitiation.

    Sometimes it's pretty obvious, like a woman admitting that she's been having a lot of promiscuous sex since the death of her father, which I'm pretty sure was an offer (I didn't take her up on it so I might've been completely wrong, but it seemed like a very odd admission if she wasn't up for it) and other times it's extremely subtle, like on Saturday night.

    I'm traipsing down Camden St on my own in search of a cigarette after my sister-in-law's birthday. I stop two girls and get one off them. One thing leads to another and one of them - a Dublin girl - asks me where the best place to get a taxi is "around here". I gave her directions - "yeah, so, you wanna take this left up here, walk for about 100 metres until you see a First Active, and you'll see the taxi rank there that doesn't exist" - even though I'd no idea where I was sending them to, but she was staring at me, with solid eye contact, instead of looking ahead to where I was pointing.

    It's a pretty thick question at 4am on a Sunday morning around Camden St first of all, a bit like asking my advice on how to win the Euromillions or something, but when I woke up I explored the possibility that she was actually asking me to share a taxi with her. Or maybe both? Maybe I could've had a threesome. Or maybe she wasn't interested in anything sexual and just wanted to know where she could get a taxi. Who the **** knows, but it still doesn't make sense to me why a Dublin girl - probably in her early 30s, so it wasn't her first night on the tiles - would ask a Dublin lad how to get a taxi in Dublin unless there was actually an element of subtext, with the subtext being 'Here, you, do you want to have sex?'

    That incident aside, women, in my experience, are a bit cryptic when it comes to this type of thing, way more cryptic than lads I think. Is it because it's less slutty and desperate if they translate their riddles into Layman terms? Is it a defence mechanism, to shield them from the potential humiliation of being turned down, so they can pretend that the bloke misinterpreted things? Or is it because it's lady-like to not explicitly say these things out loud? Who knows, but it's interesting.


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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 10,423 ✭✭✭✭Outlaw Pete


    Cause they want to shag men who are good at working them out.


  • Registered Users Posts: 24,296 ✭✭✭✭lawred2


    Maybe she wanted a taxi

    Maybe she didn't but she wants to check that you're not a total dope first.. which you would have failed

    I'd say she wanted a taxi


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 965 ✭✭✭verycool


    Destination: Friendzone.
    Population: You.


  • Registered Users Posts: 14,128 ✭✭✭✭aaronjumper


    'Yes I will go to bed with you but only if you can answer these riddles three.'

    No I don't actually have any riddles for ye, feck off.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,322 ✭✭✭✭super_furry


    Looking for a taxi at 4am is a tricky thing and I don't think there'd be anything unusual about asking someone if they know the best spot to head to - especially if you're not familiar with the area.

    Think you're reading too much into it there.


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  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,648 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    This is partially inspired the one-night stand thread, not a spin-off thread where I pretend I'm the other woman's husband or something.

    Anywho, why are women a bit cloak and dagger when it comes to facilitating one-night stands? I've accidentally turned down some of these in the past because I've been way too pissed to pick up on their covert way of disguising the invitiation.

    Sometimes it's pretty obvious, like a woman admitting that she's been having a lot of promiscuous sex since the death of her father, which I'm pretty sure was an offer (I didn't take her up on it so I might've been completely wrong, but it seemed like a very odd admission if she wasn't up for it) and other times it's extremely subtle, like on Saturday night.

    I'm traipsing down Camden St on my own in search of a cigarette after my sister-in-law's birthday. I stop two girls and get one off them. One thing leads to another and one of them - a Dublin girl - asks me where the best place to get a taxi is "around here". I gave her directions - "yeah, so, you wanna take this left up here, walk for about 100 metres until you see a First Active, and you'll see the taxi rank there that doesn't exist" - even though I'd no idea where I was sending them to, but she was staring at me, with solid eye contact, instead of looking ahead to where I was pointing.

    It's a pretty thick question at 4am on a Sunday morning around Camden St first of all, a bit like asking my advice on how to win the Euromillions or something, but when I woke up I explored the possibility that she was actually asking me to share a taxi with her. Or maybe both? Maybe I could've had a threesome. Or maybe she wasn't interested in anything sexual and just wanted to know where she could get a taxi. Who the **** knows, but it still doesn't make sense to me why a Dublin girl - probably in her early 30s, so it wasn't her first night on the tiles - would ask a Dublin lad how to get a taxi in Dublin unless there was actually an element of subtext, with the subtext being 'Here, you, do you want to have sex?'

    That incident aside, women, in my experience, are a bit cryptic when it comes to this type of thing, way more cryptic than lads I think. Is it because it's less slutty and desperate if they translate their riddles into Layman terms? Is it a defence mechanism, to shield them from the potential humiliation of being turned down, so they can pretend that the bloke misinterpreted things? Or is it because it's lady-like to not explicitly say these things out loud? Who knows, but it's interesting.

    Probably was afraid if she looked you'd pull out a syringe and mug her


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭Diemos


    The question is why do they always say: 'I've never done this before'?


  • Registered Users Posts: 37 VainHard Bendix


    She wasn't 100% committing to a one night stand at that moment.
    She was offering you the chance to persuade her. i.e a bag of chips to seal the
    deal.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Cause they want to shag men who are good at working them out.

    This is interesting.


  • Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    If it helps OP, the correct answer was not, "I'll share a taxi with you", as she would have said, "Eh, nah you're OK thanks". The correct answer was, "Here, I'll walk with you". This would give her a chance to get to know you at least a little and then she can decide when the taxi arrives whether to invite you back.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,902 ✭✭✭✭anewme


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    it's extremely subtle, like on Saturday night.

    I'm traipsing down Camden St on my own in search of a cigarette after my sister-in-law's birthday. I stop two girls and get one off them. One thing leads to another and one of them - a Dublin girl - asks me where the best place to get a taxi is "around here". I gave her directions - "yeah, so, you wanna take this left up here, walk for about 100 metres until you see a First Active, and you'll see the taxi rank there that doesn't exist" - even though I'd no idea where I was sending them to, but she was staring at me, with solid eye contact, instead of looking ahead to where I was pointing.

    She knew you'd no idea where you were sending them to either.

    Once you mentioned First Active, they all closed in 2010, she knew you were suss.

    Probably staring out of sheer terror.
    :pac:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    seamus wrote: »
    If it helps OP, the correct answer was not, "I'll share a taxi with you", as she would have said, "Eh, nah you're OK thanks". The correct answer was, "Here, I'll walk with you". This would give her a chance to get to know you at least a little and then she can decide when the taxi arrives whether to invite you back.

    Pro-tip ^


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    anewme wrote: »
    She knew you'd no idea where you were sending them to either.

    Once you mentioned First Active, they all closed in 2010, she knew you were suss.

    Probably staring out of sheer terror.
    :pac:

    That was the joke. That bit was paraphrased for the sake of humour.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    Looking for a taxi at 4am is a tricky thing and I don't think there'd be anything unusual about asking someone if they know the best spot to head to - especially if you're not familiar with the area.

    Think you're reading too much into it there.

    It's certainly possible that I've read too much into it.

    Though going by instinct I doubt she would've been unfamiliar with Camden St or the difficulties people face in getting a taxi on this road after a night out. As I said, she was from Dublin and in her early 30s I'd guess, and I think girls are quite coy when it comes to this type of thing, so I think it's a plausible theory.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,912 ✭✭✭ArchXStanton


    Diemos wrote: »
    The question is why do they always say: 'I've never done this before'?

    Lol if I had a cent for everytime I heard that....sure you have love


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,103 ✭✭✭Tiddlypeeps


    Women who are open to casual sexual encounters are still seen as sluts and therefore lesser people by many. Attitudes towards this are changing, but this is still very much a thing. If you don't believe me try starting a thread asking blokes how many previous sexual partners is too many for a woman to be considered "girlfriend material".

    This can lead to some women feeling a bit dirty or guilty about wanting to engage in casual sexual encounters, which makes them more likely to be a bit coy or subtle about the whole thing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,417 ✭✭✭Diemos


    Women who are open to casual sexual encounters are still seen as sluts and therefore lesser people by many. Attitudes towards this are changing, but this is still very much a thing. If you don't believe me try starting a thread asking blokes how many previous sexual partners is too many for a woman to be considered "girlfriend material".

    This can lead to some women feeling a bit dirty or guilty about wanting to engage in casual sexual encounters, which makes them more likely to be a bit coy or subtle about the whole thing.

    Really?! My single days are behind me but I've never known any of my mates to have that attitude.
    If a guy needs to know the number then the issue is with the guy not the girl. Just be grateful she's picking you now.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 16,707 ✭✭✭✭Tigger


    Women who are open to casual sexual encounters are still seen as sluts and therefore lesser people by many. Attitudes towards this are changing, but this is still very much a thing. If you don't believe me try starting a thread asking blokes how many previous sexual partners is too many for a woman to be considered "girlfriend material".

    This can lead to some women feeling a bit dirty or guilty about wanting to engage in casual sexual encounters, which makes them more likely to be a bit coy or subtle about the whole thing.

    Depends what age she is as well


  • Registered Users Posts: 13,076 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    Hammer89 wrote: »
    This is partially inspired the one-night stand thread, not a spin-off thread where I pretend I'm the other woman's husband or something.

    Anywho, why are women a bit cloak and dagger when it comes to facilitating one-night stands? I've accidentally turned down some of these in the past because I've been way too pissed to pick up on their covert way of disguising the invitiation.

    Sometimes it's pretty obvious, like a woman admitting that she's been having a lot of promiscuous sex since the death of her father, which I'm pretty sure was an offer (I didn't take her up on it so I might've been completely wrong, but it seemed like a very odd admission if she wasn't up for it) and other times it's extremely subtle, like on Saturday night.

    I'm traipsing down Camden St on my own in search of a cigarette after my sister-in-law's birthday. I stop two girls and get one off them. One thing leads to another and one of them - a Dublin girl - asks me where the best place to get a taxi is "around here". I gave her directions - "yeah, so, you wanna take this left up here, walk for about 100 metres until you see a First Active, and you'll see the taxi rank there that doesn't exist" - even though I'd no idea where I was sending them to, but she was staring at me, with solid eye contact, instead of looking ahead to where I was pointing.

    It's a pretty thick question at 4am on a Sunday morning around Camden St first of all, a bit like asking my advice on how to win the Euromillions or something, but when I woke up I explored the possibility that she was actually asking me to share a taxi with her. Or maybe both? Maybe I could've had a threesome. Or maybe she wasn't interested in anything sexual and just wanted to know where she could get a taxi. Who the **** knows, but it still doesn't make sense to me why a Dublin girl - probably in her early 30s, so it wasn't her first night on the tiles - would ask a Dublin lad how to get a taxi in Dublin unless there was actually an element of subtext, with the subtext being 'Here, you, do you want to have sex?'

    That incident aside, women, in my experience, are a bit cryptic when it comes to this type of thing, way more cryptic than lads I think. Is it because it's less slutty and desperate if they translate their riddles into Layman terms? Is it a defence mechanism, to shield them from the potential humiliation of being turned down, so they can pretend that the bloke misinterpreted things? Or is it because it's lady-like to not explicitly say these things out loud? Who knows, but it's interesting.

    Was she travelling back to Annebrook House Hotel by any chance?

    To thine own self be true



  • Registered Users Posts: 9,027 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Many years ago, when I was about 19, I brought a friend I'd had a massive crush on for about two years to a gig. Walked her home, after a lovely evening, and she invited me up for a coffee...




    "No thanks, I don't drink coffee."




    Eternal regret.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 6,226 ✭✭✭emo72


    You probably need to get your "consent form" signed before any more interaction took place. Dodged a bullet mate.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 12,648 Mod ✭✭✭✭riffmongous


    Ficheall wrote: »
    Many years ago, when I was about 19, I brought a friend I'd had a massive crush on for about two years to a gig. Walked her home, after a lovely evening, and she invited me up for a coffee...




    "No thanks, I don't drink coffee."




    Eternal regret.

    Don't feel too bad, an Irish person offering you a coffee would confuse anyone


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,887 ✭✭✭✭Riskymove


    Ficheall wrote: »

    Eternal regret.

    reminds me of the GB Shaw sketches on the Mary Whitehouse experience about how his keen satirical wit keeps him from pulling!

    Sarah Bernhardt: Mr. Shaw, you and I should make love, for with my looks and your brains we would have wonderful children.
    George Bernard Shaw: Aha! But what if the child were born with my looks and your brain? ...

    (Walks outside)

    Oh no, I've just blown out a definite shag!



    Sarah Bernhardt: Mr. Shaw, fancy a shag?
    George Bernard Shaw: "Fancy"? It is the darling of society but the outcast of the soul...


    oh no, I've done it again!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,277 ✭✭✭Your Face


    Sometimes I feel sorry for women who have to put up with this nonsense.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 812 ✭✭✭Cleopatra_


    I actually don't know if many men want women to be direct. I'm quite direct and it seems to terrify most of ye, ye don't know what to do then. I think ye enjoy the chase a bit! I enjoy terrifying men though so I'll never stop being direct :D


  • Registered Users Posts: 81,963 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    Two women walk up to you outside smoking, “one of us only tells lies and the other only tells the truth...”


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,762 ✭✭✭Sheeps


    Probably best you turn women down who speak in riddles about promiscuous sex. Don't want to end up being a victim like Paddy Jackson.


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,752 ✭✭✭irishguitarlad


    She wasn't 100% committing to a one night stand at that moment.
    She was offering you the chance to persuade her. i.e a bag of chips to seal the
    deal.

    Dangerous thing, especially if coleslaw or curry is involved. You could have a ****ty bed the next morning.


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,003 ✭✭✭Hammer89


    emo72 wrote: »
    You probably need to get your "consent form" signed before any more interaction took place. Dodged a bullet mate.

    She dodged a bigger bullet to be fair.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭Digital Solitude


    Ficheall wrote: »
    Many years ago, when I was about 19, I brought a friend I'd had a massive crush on for about two years to a gig. Walked her home, after a lovely evening, and she invited me up for a coffee...




    "No thanks, I don't drink coffee."




    Eternal regret.

    I walked my OH home after our second night out, 2am "do ya wanna come up for tae?"

    "Ah yer sound, don't drink tea. I'd take water though?"

    It worked


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