Living alone, yay or nay?

Kirby42

In the past I've had a lot of different roommates, some amazing, some terrible, plenty in between. I moved into my own place last summer. At the start it was great, I could invite whoever I wanted whenever I wanted, I arranged the place as I liked, no rows or disagreements that can sometimes arise with other roommates, no mess.

However, several months later I've found it to be quite lonely. Especially during the holidays or long weekends (I'm single and my family live in a different country).

What's your 2 cents?

Rmgblue

If you can cover the cost of living alone please enjoy your own space. I wish I could.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1

Why hidden results?

I've hidden my opinion and experience to match.

Dardania

It's great for a week, but I get a bit lonely later, and also find myself quite selfish - a bit like Father Fintan Stack mango hammering in the middle of the night

anewme

I bought my house with the proviso that if I struggled to pay the mortgage I would take in lodgers. Never needed to!

Downside is you get very contrary and set in your ways and intolerant.

Solomon Pleasant

I think the ideal situation for many is to have your own room in a shared house with people who you can live happily with.

This provides the social aspect which people need but also private space which I think most people also need at certain times.

Plenty of people aren’t fortunate enough to be in that position though.

cantdecide

I thought I'd love it but did it for six months and absolutely hated it almost from the beginning. I realised I needed the interaction with others (outside of work) to kind of escape being stuck in my own world.

Trotters

Alone is best. You can go out for a drink or a natter with your mates. Bring a friend home for coffee or a meal etc or whatever ;-)
Not stiuck with someone who chats and plays music and makes a mess and drinks all the tea.
Loner for me
PS I am not a "loner" like a hermit or an anti-social weirdo. I just like being in charge of my own space!

KERSPLAT!

I have a housemate but we work opposite shifts to each other so I only see him a few times a month. It's great in that it's like living alone and having control of most things but only paying half the rent/bills however just before Christmas I hit a bad patch and found myself increasingly lonely and bored.

That has pretty much passed now and I'm back to being delighted with the set up but I can definitely see why it's not for some.

I've a lot of family and friends very close so in reality, if I'm lonely I can feck off to multiple places for a chat and cup of tea or go for a few pints any time.

John_Rambo

anewme wrote: »

I bought my house with the proviso that if I struggled to pay the mortgage I would take in lodgers. Never needed to!

Downside is you get very contrary and set in your ways and intolerant.

Spot on. I had a house to myself, everyone that hasn't lived alone has this idea that it would be amazing. But we're primates and didn't evolve living alone and we thrive on interaction and company. As you say, we tend to get very particular and socially inept with long periods of living alone. I ended up renting one of my rooms out much to my social advantages.

Table Top Joe

Lived alone for a year or so before meeting and moving in with my gf and I loved it, I love my friends and enjoy their company......but I love my own company too and need time away from people to unwind and recharge to be honest



Having lived with my gf a few years now though Im much happier living with her than I was alone, she's very laidback like myself so theres absolutely nothing I can't do now I could before (and same for her, as in she wants to watch a movie only she wants to see Ill be reading in bed next to her and vice versa, we don't need to do the same thing all the time), I hear of a lot of people complaining they miss having time to themselves but were fine for that thankfully, we both do whatever we want


So......living alone was great but I have to say if you can find the right company thats better(id rather no company at all than someone i wasn't 110% comfortable with)

Duckworth_Luas

I live alone in the bee-loud glade.

Bloody nightmare!

Wanted to do a spot of bean farming but it's all buzz-buzz-fcuking-buzz!

House is a kip too. Made of clay and fcuking wattles!

RacoonQueen

I live alone and it's the bees-knees. Didn't realise how unhappy I was in my house share until I got my own space.
I'm an introvert though and really need the me time. Between work and training I'm only really alone between 7:30/8pm and bedtime so only really a few hours a night. Plenty of people nearby I could visit/invite over if I needed company.

If I ever have to house share again or meet a guy stupid enough to deem me a good catch, readjusting to living with humans will be hard...

Great being able to have people over anytime you like, have the place as you want it, not have to clean up after other people, walk into the kitchen you cleaned an hour ago and see that some di*kwad has left it in a state etc...

Outlaw Pete

I went from relating to Chandler in Friends.... to relating to Ugly Naked Guy.

That's what 20 years can do to someone.

Kirby42

I can understand where people are coming from about bad roommates as I've had some very messy ones who made life really difficult. But living alone in my experience is just depressing, I need to socialise and chat to people. Maybe I think that because I work from home a lot too and was lacking the social environment that comes with the workplace. 

For me, my preference would look something like:

Living with partner > living with good roommates > living alone > living with bad roommates

Kirby42

I can understand where people are coming from about bad roommates as I've had some very messy ones who made life really difficult. But living alone in my experience is just depressing, I need to socialise and chat to people. Maybe I think that because I work from home a lot too and was lacking the social environment that comes with the workplace. 

For me, my preference would look something like:

Living with partner > living with good roommates > living alone > living with bad roommates

RobertKK

I have lived alone for a while now, I love it.

CelticRambler

Been living alone-ish for a good few years now. In the beginning, it was great, for all the reasons listed above, but this last year I'm feeling the lack of having someone around. It's all very well being able to organise the place how you want, and have no concerns about your own comings and goings, but I miss the challenge of trying to do stuff for someone else (or get it done before they find out!). :pac:

Maybe if I had an every-day's-the-same-as-the-last kind of job it'd be different, but I travel all over the place for work, meet a lot of different people, and thought I'd enjoy a bit of solitude on my weeks off. These days, the feeling of wishing there was another person in the house kicks in sooner and sooner.

andekwarhola

Live with my partner and kids and love getting the place to myself for a few nights although I end up feeling lonely after that but that's different.

If I was so single though, living alone all the way. The idea of housemates again would chill my blood.

Nomis21

This seems like a good thing to do if you live alone:

https://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/couchsurfing-in-offaly-a-free-of-charge-way-of-life-1.2326872

RacoonQueen

Kirby42 wrote: »

I can understand where people are coming from about bad roommates as I've had some very messy ones who made life really difficult. But living alone in my experience is just depressing, I need to socialise and chat to people. Maybe I think that because I work from home a lot too and was lacking the social environment that comes with the workplace. 

For me, my preference would look something like:

Living with partner > living with good roommates > living alone > living with bad roommates

I used to love working from home when I shared as was only time I'd get to be alone in the place. Now I live alone, hate working from home.

Vela

Alone for sure. I've lived alone for the past 2 years and only moving to a shared place now to save some money - the rent is a bit mental in Dublin.

bertsmom

I bought the house with my then boyfriend and we lived together for 9 or 10 yrs here. We split up about 4 yrs ago but lived together as friends for another 2yrs then roughly 2yrs ago we went our separate ways as wanted to move in with his girlfriend so we came to a mutual agreement on mortgage repayments act.
I have lived here with my dog alone ever since and I really love living alone. I work full time so I do see people every day but at heart I'm definitely an introvert. My boyfriend calls over most weekends but as a carer for an elderly parent we dont get a huge amount of time together but to be honest as much as I love when we are together I could never live with a partner again. I would just get too irritated by small habits etc and I love that we share holidays and nights out and days away but at the end of day I love this living alone far too much to give that up anytime soon!

anewme

anewme wrote: »

I bought my house with the proviso that if I struggled to pay the mortgage I would take in lodgers. Never needed to!

Downside is you get very contrary and set in your ways and intolerant.

John_Rambo wrote: »

Spot on. I had a house to myself, everyone that hasn't lived alone has this idea that it would be amazing. But we're primates and didn't evolve living alone and we thrive on interaction and company. As you say, we tend to get very particular and socially inept with long periods of living alone. I ended up renting one of my rooms out much to my social advantages.

I never rented a room.

I’m a socially inept narky Fokker who drinks g&T s naked on the couch at 3am. Even on a school day.

And I love every. Fckin. Minute Of it.

I lived alone until six months ago, loved it. I had friends very close by, so I never felt lonely. I liked the control over the place, I'd put stuff in the refrigerator and it stayed there until I wanted it. I'd tidy up before work and it was still perfect after work. No one grabbed the remote the minute I went for a pee. I could watch The Walking Dead with the sound muted during the zombie scenes, and no one laughed. I could sprawl over the whole bed and drool to my hearts content, and no one took pictures of me stuck to the pillow. I could scratch myself in a very unladylike manner and no one knew my uncouth ways. Ah, those were the days.

These days I live with two male persons, one a relative and the other a partner. They eat stuff I hide, they change the channel when I leave the room, they take pictures of me sleeping with my mouth open. To be fair, they're both tidy and do their share and we're all easy going, and I love them both around though my cousin will be moving out soon enough. But it's definitely different to living alone and it's probably better for me as a person to be making allowances for other people and compromising on things more. I'm a very organized person and can be a little rigid if I'm not careful, years of doing things exactly the way you like them will do that to a person and it's not necessarily a good thing.

I love not living alone, but...when I get the place to myself it's like a special treat and the urge to do the Risky Business dance is real. It's nice to only have to think of yourself. It's really nice to have people you want to think of before yourself too.

OldMrBrennan83

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Bambi985

My preference is to live with (the right) partner, but failing that live alone. House-sharing sucks balls for me, even when my flatmate is a lovely person, as I just hate living with a relative stranger and not being able to do what I want when I want. I also need a lot of me-time to de-stress from my job and you often won't get that in a house-share.

My last flatmate was really nice, but she was a total home-bird and was perpetually camped out in front of the TV in the sitting room. I'd join her from time to time and have the chats, but I worked long hours in a pretty all-consuming job so when I'd get in the door at 9pm most of the time I just wanted to chill and not have to put on an act for yet another person. I spent a lot of time in my room secretly hating her for hogging the sitting room :pac:

Sephiroth_dude

I'm an introvert so Would prefer to live alone if I could afford it.

beveragelady

The single greatest luxury I allow myself in life is that I live alone. I have done so for about 12 years now, and there's no way I'd go back to sharing with anybody. I've lived alone in cities and now I live alone in the wilderness. I absolutely bloody love knowing that when I get home in the evening I won't have to deal with anybody's bullfhit or drama or mood-tyranny.
I made the mistake of acquiring cats along the way, they're worse than people for complicating things, but luckily I have dogs to restore the balance of happiness.
If somebody made me choose between never living with a human again and never living with a dog again I wouldn't even have to consider it.

Zaph

Lived alone for years after I bought my house and loved it. Was quite happy with my own company and can't say I ever got lonely. Then I met my wife and after she moved in I loved that even more, so it definitely all depends on who you're living with as to whether or not it's better than on your own.

rainbow kirby

Lived alone for 2 years before moving in with my now-husband. Absolutely loved it - always great to close the door behind me in the evening and know I'd have my peace and quiet. I'm a bit of an introvert so it really did suit me.

Candlemass

if i could afford to live on my own i would, still feel like student sharing.

The only time ive enjoyed living with someone was with a partner but sharing with strangers has run it course with me, ive got my faults but always respect my housemates privacy, unlike most people ive shared with. Most are friends by default.

bodice ripper

I live alone because I am single and 36. My good friends are either coupled up, emigrated, or are very settled into long term house shares.
Truth be told I am not a solitary person at all and I am desperately lonely most of the time. However, in my opinion, I am too long in the tooth for sharing with strangers.

Absolutely Love living alone and have done so most of my adult life. Don't get this "lonely" thing other people go on about, and if I do want company, it's easy to invite people (or a gf) over. But mostly, my home is my castle, and I prefer to keep it to myself.

Staying with my parents (I need to be on-call for them) for the last few months, and while it's been interesting/fun, I'm seriously looking forward to having my own space again.

Kirby42

Brooke Prehistoric Freighter wrote: »

Why hidden results?

I've hidden my opinion and experience to match.

And let you see the results only to exit out without voting yourself? I don't think so pal! Not on my watch!

Kirby42

I just find it more interesting living with other people. I'm pretty social and an extrovert so I guess that's just me.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Kirby42

I dunno, I just know that I love watching movies and football with roommates. Living alone presents the challenge of not having anyone to help you or be there for you, that's not really a problem if your family or friends are nearby, but I live on my own outside of Ireland and I do feel that the loneliness can creep up on me.

MilesMorales1

I'm not keen on it. I get lonely and I get all nervy, every sound and movement gets me paranoid there's someone trying to break in, and thats only when I'm in the house on my own for a night. Saying that I'm not very social and pretty introverted so I wouldn't want to constantly be around people, so to speak.

Sephiroth_dude

Kirby42 wrote: »

Living alone presents the challenge of not having anyone to help you or be there for you, that's not really a problem if your family or friends are nearby, but I live on my own outside of Ireland and I do feel that the loneliness can creep up on me.

I'd say its very to easy feel like that alright when living abroad, especially if its a non english speaking country and you don't know the language.

RacoonQueen

Deleted User wrote: »

Don't get this "lonely" thing other people go on about,

Me either. Don't understand this concept at all. Over christmas once I left the family, given I wasn't in work, the only humans I spoke to face to face where the lads in the local shop.
I'd even just go for a walk round the estate for 20 mins sometimes if I feel like I need to get out - during Spring/Summer/Early Autumn you might find a neighbour (or just someone with a dog) to chat with.
Suspect it is an introvert / extrovert thing - as a few people are exasperated when I tell them I don't experience this lonely feeling they go on about. Then again, I'm pretty awesome and I'm great company, so it's hardly surprising I enjoy having myself to myself so much.

RobertKK

Best thing is living alone and watching horror films or programs at night and it will toughen you up :pac:

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

I'm not keen on it. I get lonely and I get all nervy, every sound and movement gets me paranoid there's someone trying to break in, and thats only when I'm in the house on my own for a night. Saying that I'm not very social and pretty introverted so I wouldn't want to constantly be around people, so to speak.

Ha that's me too. Love having the house to myself all day and then when I go to bed it's "Murder. Murder is how I die. And it will be tonight".

But saying that, I did live alone for a few months and loved it. I'm probably someone who's a bit too comfortable in my own company and it's healthier for me to live with others but I'd be happy out living alone. Apart from the fear of murder.

CelticRambler

Mr.S wrote: »

Lived on my own for a while and much preferred it to having housemates, I would say the only downside is having to front all the cost yourself, you generally don't notice the bills if you have 2/3/4 people splitting the costs!

If having visitors is anything to go by, I'd say the bills go up exponentially when you start adding in extra people. Other than my phone line (flat rate broadband & calls), everything else is billed according to usage and it's impressive how many "little things" bump up the amount of water, electricity and gas used by another person.

Dardania

Dardania wrote: »

It's great for a week, but I get a bit lonely later, and also find myself quite selfish - a bit like Father Fintan Stack mango hammering in the middle of the night

Worse than Hitler you are. You wouldn't find him playing jungle music at 3 in the morning :pac:

OldMrBrennan83

This post has been deleted.

Table Top Joe

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I'm an introvert though and really need the me time. Between work and training I'm only really alone between 7:30/8pm and bedtime so only really a few hours a night

This was the only thing that took me(and my gf) time to adjust to in living together, I badly need alone time after work, I spend 8 hours a day speaking with customers and my colleagues(who I like!...but still), the last thing I want to do when I get home is speak anymore, I find human interaction exhausting and it really drains me


My gf gives me space now after work so I have an hour or two to myself when I need it particularly after busy days(and even normal days somethings tbh) and its fine but it took her a week or so to realise it wasn't personal I just needed time to unwind(she's quite introverted too so she understands), I think I may have the opposite of loneliness in that sometimes I absolutely crave solitude, I feel most peoples batteries are down to 80% after dealing with people for a day but mine is more in the 5-10% range and I just need time to build it back up

scamalert

if one can afford to live in apartment/house alone its grand but many posters seem like they would develop depression if they had opportunity, id say many would prefer that and it sort of makes you realize your responsible for everything and what you do in your spare time its up to you.

Table Top Joe

This thread really cements an opinion of mine that "opposites attract" isn't really true, not in my experience at least, I think introverts and extroverts can only match up so much, I know I couldn't live and be in a relationship with someone who was incapable of shutting the f*** up for more than 2 mins and enjoying peace and quiet or couldn't do things on their own, I have friends who not only can't do certain things without their partner but can't even conceive of the idea, i.e going to the cinema or to a cafe etc alone

Friend : Im bored today
Me: Im working but why go not go to the cinema?
Friend : Sure the wife is working
Me: Ya but just go alone, its dead on a weekday
Friend: what do you mean?
Me: cinema....go there
Friend : alone?? *acting as if I'm a serial killer psycho for suggesting such a thing*


You get the idea.....I don't know how that could work but it would be interesting if people find it works for them though maybe I'm wrong

RacoonQueen

Table Top Joe wrote: »

This thread really cements an opinion of mine that "opposites attract" isn't really true, not in my experience at least, I think introverts and extroverts can only match up so much, I know I couldn't live and be in a relationship with someone who was incapable of shutting the f*** up for more than 2 mins and enjoying peace and quiet or couldn't do things on their own, I have friends who not only can't do certain things without their partner but can't even conceive of the idea, i.e going to the cinema or to a cafe etc alone

Friend : Im bored today
Me: Im working but why go not go to the cinema?
Friend : Sure the wife is working
Me: Ya but just go alone, its dead on a weekday
Friend: what do you mean?
Me: cinema....go there
Friend : alone?? *acting as if I'm a serial killer psycho for suggesting such a thing*


You get the idea.....I don't know how that could work but it would be interesting if people find it works for them though maybe I'm wrong

Ha I actually loled at that.
Oh god no I couldn't cope. I used to date a guy that literally couldn't be alone...he'd have friends over all the time. So if we'd stayed together...moved in etc...he would have had people over constantly. I'd have been miserable with people over like that all the time.

Lots of people I know couldn't cope with the idea of doing things alone. There is not many things I love more than going out on the bike for 6 hours. Alone. Just me and all the crazy sh*t that goes on in my head. People ask me what I *think* about while I'm out running/cycling/swimming for a long time. I'm all like "uhhh I dunno...stuff"

Table Top Joe

RacoonQueen wrote: »

People ask me what I *think* about while I'm out running/cycling/swimming for a long time. I'm all like "uhhh I dunno...stuff"

Ha ha yes! I've gotten that too!......."what are you thinking about?"......I mean Jesus I don't know lots of things!

I actually prefer going to the cinema alone for example than going with certain friends because they'll talk through it or play with their phones and Ill have a big f*** off light shining in my face as they do it, if i go alone I can go when I want (weekdays only so theres hardly anyone else there naturally:o) and to what I want....its great!.....and thats whats great about my gf, she's so anti social that she doesn't like to go at all "there'll be too many annoying people there" so I don't have to compromise in what I see or anything