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Are you a people person?

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245

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    #32
    tomwaterford
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,768 ✭✭✭✭tomwaterford


    No....I really want to be better at this


    A friend of mine was at a speed dating event a few weeks and telling me about it....she spoke to 14 people etc at it


    And it struck me that between shopping etc and everything....I probably havnt spoken to 14 people in the last 6 months....no mind conversations


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    #33
    FFred
    Closed Accounts Posts: 772 ✭✭✭FFred


    I thrive on misanthropy.


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    #34
    Lia_lia
    Registered Users Posts: 6,691 ✭✭✭Lia_lia


    My current job involves talking to people all day and I have experience working in sales jobs so I’m comfortable talking to people and can do “small talk” just fine. But I’m not the most sociable. Wouldn’t go out a whole lot and I have a very small number of friends. At the same time I crack up if I’m at home for too long. But that’s more to do with “doing things” than be sociable.


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    #35
    Cork Lass
    Registered Users Posts: 6,811 ✭✭✭Cork Lass


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    When I see some keyboard warriors come on here being unnecessarily aggressive it makes me wonder what’s going on in their lives that makes them so miserable.


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    #36
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #37
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    I can't stand most people, but because my job means I must be diplomatic, I can mingle with the best of them and drop witticisms and charm and recall when their birthday was, ask them how their sick mother is and whether they got round to worming the cat like they mentioned 6 months before.

    Does that make me a people person? In the true meaning of that word, yes. Because it is faked bs, which is what being a people person is all about. But it's not in any sense genuine. I'm comfortable and confident with people...but it's an act, and I'm cynical enough to know what it is. There is no real warmth of friendship there, except amongst a very small number of real friends.


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    #38
    BuboBubo
    Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭BuboBubo


    Not a people person, but I'm a cat/dog person - love my pets. I currently have 2 cats sitting on me and a dog at my feet. Bliss :D


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    #39
    paddylonglegs
    Registered Users Posts: 3,520 ✭✭✭paddylonglegs


    Lia_lia wrote: »
    My current job involves talking to people all day and I have experience working in sales jobs so I’m comfortable talking to people and can do “small talk” just fine. But I’m not the most sociable. Wouldn’t go out a whole lot and I have a very small number of friends. At the same time I crack up if I’m at home for too long. But that’s more to do with “doing things” than be sociable.

    Do you think you were always able to "chat" or did you develop and get better at it because of the role you were in?

    Next year I will be changing role in my career, but am currently sh1tting it as I will need to talk (and small talk) to people a lot. My job literally depends on it.

    Over the last couple of years, I have gotten more anxious about talking to people, specifically men, as I can't do the whole bloke chit chat about sport etc. Funnily enough, I'm much more comfortable talking to women (not in a flirty way). I think the difficulty I have with small talk is how disingenuous it all sounds, thus making me feel like a fraud. But if I click with someone on a subject we both enjoy then I generally have a good repore with them

    Im genuinely curious, is there a course out there that can help with talkin fin this situation, or is it just a case of getting stuck in and talking for ireland?


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    #40
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #41
    splinter65
    Registered Users Posts: 9,420 ✭✭✭splinter65


    My husband is more or less the unelected mayor of the town we live in despite being a blow in.
    I’m just a contrary old bitch who can’t stand anyone .


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    #42
    NollagShona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭NollagShona


    Cork Lass wrote: »
    When I see some keyboard warriors come on here being unnecessarily aggressive it makes me wonder what’s going on in their lives that makes them so miserable.

    being on boards at Chrismastime would be a big clue


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    #43
    donegaLroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭donegaLroad


    NollagShona wrote: »
    Not the poster specifically- just those people that come up to you at parties - go away

    Don't worry, I can sense the people who prefer not to engage, I know when to stay away.


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    #44
    Dakota Dan
    Registered Users Posts: 3,761 ✭✭✭Dakota Dan


    I thought social media killed the people person with everyone glued to their phones.


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    #45
    NollagShona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭NollagShona


    I was told I come across as hostile and confrontational - wtf would they know! Im not Mother Teresa but I'm not a pushover either!


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    #46
    NollagShona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭NollagShona


    donegaLroad wrote: »
    Don't worry, I can sense the people who prefer not to engage, I know when to stay away.

    teach others.


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    #47
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #48
    Clair4
    Registered Users Posts: 86 ✭✭Clair4


    I hate people and even more so as i get older


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    #49
    NollagShona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭NollagShona


    Patww79 wrote: »
    This post has been deleted.

    Boards. The bastion of the outcasts and misfits


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    #50
    Cork Lass
    Registered Users Posts: 6,811 ✭✭✭Cork Lass


    NollagShona wrote: »
    being on boards at Chrismastime would be a big clue

    Lots of very happy and pleasant people on boards every day of the year including Christmas.


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    #51
    NollagShona
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,360 ✭✭✭NollagShona


    Cork Lass wrote: »
    Lots of very happy and pleasant people on boards every day of the year including Christmas.

    Sure jan


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    #52
    donegaLroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭donegaLroad


    NollagShona wrote: »
    teach others.

    I'm a musician, and I've played for years all over the NW and Cork. Because of this I have managed to get to know a very large number of people. I agree some people talk a lot of sh1te, but I have learned that some people seem to have no-one that takes a personal interest in them, I enjoy lending an ear. Everyone has a story to tell. I'm not the type of person who approaches a total stranger and bombards them with torturous waffle.


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    #53
    kerryjack
    Registered Users Posts: 1,556 ✭✭✭kerryjack


    Clair4 wrote: »
    I hate people and even more so as i get older

    I thought I was on my own. When I was a young lad and out on the pull I would chat up anything with a pulse now I don't give a ****e,


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    #54
    tastyt
    Registered Users Posts: 2,017 ✭✭✭tastyt


    Some people just think its now cool to declare they hate people, are socially awkward but happy that way and **** what people think, coz thats you know, cool man!

    Anyone that needs or likes other people is weak


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    #55
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    I love being alone and find crowds to be a bit overwhelming. Sometimes all I want is solitude yet I love people. The intricacies inside of them, the uniqueness and quirks. I could sit and watch them all day long. Many a person will respond to warmth and attention. It's quite amazing really. A simple "Oh that's my favourite book" and suddenly that person who seemed distant will open up.

    I think it's very sad if you hate people. To have such an issue with the rest of the human race strikes me as odd. There are all of these experiences and hopes and fears within a single person and I love finding them out :)


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    #56
    Neames
    Registered Users Posts: 951 ✭✭✭Neames


    My job involves dealing with lots of people, trying to get them to cooperate and this includes endless meetings and workshops, phonecalls and emails.

    I like the job and also have a family of my own where there are people coming and going constantly.

    So when I need some time out, I like my own company...spend it reading, out on a bike ride, hill walk or trip to the library. Great to clear the head.


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    #57
    OldMrBrennan83
    Closed Accounts Posts: 26,658 ✭✭✭✭OldMrBrennan83


    This post has been deleted.


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    #58
    Dr Crayfish
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,960 ✭✭✭Dr Crayfish


    Sometimes I won’t shut up and enjoy meeting and chatting with people, when I want to. When family or flat mates etc bring people around that have nothing to do with me I’ll gladly avoid and only exchange pleasantries if I have to. Love being alone probably too much these days.


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    #59
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 21,679 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Patww79 wrote: »
    That's fine and all but what's your reaction if, when you ask something about a book or something, they just turn away and don't respond. If someone gets the message and walks away at that stage then the first part is grand but if they push then they're a nuisance.

    If someone came up to me to make small talk about something I had on me then my first reaction is what they want to scobe from me or what they want to scam out of me, so I'd just turn my back.

    My reaction would be to leave them be. I'd assume they aren't interested in being engaged and that's it. There's nothing wrong with that though. It's the "I hate people" view that I find strange.


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    #60
    dd972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    There's only two types of people I can be arsed with, family and friends.

    Being unemployed for long stretches doesn't faze me either, plenty of time to attend to housebound hobbies and don't have to spend 40 plus hours a week in some hole with a shower of strangers, school and work are for superficial extroverts.


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    #61
    Sephiroth_dude
    Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 80,008 Mod ✭✭✭✭Sephiroth_dude


    I'd be a quiet person by nature, I'm not a people's person at all or sociable really :o I like being alone but in saying that I love talking to people I have stuff in common with, wouldn't be one for striking up a conversation with someone that was sitting beside me if I was in a bar but if they started chatting to me I'd chat away with them the best I could.


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