It's the most wonderful time of the year. I'm here.

Alf Veedersane

I was bored until the Lynx Africa set. That was a gem

Owryan

Opened the thread and the smell of bullsh1t filled the air

_Kaiser_

I never got the appeal of this poster TBH but given the 100 thanks on the OP I'm clearly not the target audience.

Hooks Golf Handicap

I speak for many of us when I ask:

Who the **** are you and why should I care ?

tara73

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

I never got the appeal of this poster TBH but given the 100 thanks on the OP I'm clearly not the target audience.

yeah, that's even more shocking than the post and attitude. I guess he gave financial advice to all those 'thankers' and saved them a few bob.:eek:

JupiterKid

AVB....the glorified troll with expensive tastes.;)

tara73

JupiterKid wrote: »

AVB....the glorified troll with expensive tastes.;)

glad somebody else thinks this must be a troll. glorified indeed. mods seem to love that.

tara73

tara73 wrote: »

yeah, that's even more shocking than the post and attitude. I guess he gave financial advice to all those 'thankers' and saved them a few bob.:eek:

It's a parody account!!

tara73

Deleted User wrote: »

It's a parody account!!

is it? I was slightly thinking it must be this or a troll. But others didn't get it either, relieved..:D

Permabear

This post has been deleted.

Beechwoodspark

I just want to say I’m amazed at how much time and effort this eejit puts into his posts.

It’s the season of goodwill, so...Chapeau!!

4068ac1elhodqr

Will likely outdo the OP's aul load of spiel for 2018.

As have just finished a full tube of prittstick and the 'visionboard' is now ready to grace the wall.

Just to give an rough idea, will be winning the Euromillions on Tuesday, heading back to the sunny Med (Germany is dull in comparison).
Not sure why but the cast of models from VS are in pinned in the top left, so guess will be meeting those ladies at some party, before the 2018 is out.
There's only a space left in the lower centre, but can't find a good picture of a unicorn anywhere to place there.

Duckworth_Luas

Jada Noisy Scale wrote: »

There's only a space left in the lower centre, but can't find a good picture of a unicorn anywhere to place there.

Ask Aongus to take a picture of his. I'd imagine he takes it for a ride at the weekend to see how construction work is going on his new gingerbread house.

Zerbini Blewitt

As I read Aongus’s OP the other night the Ardnacrusha dam of emotions simply burst and the tears of outrageous, foolish pride kept flowing

This is a timely reminder & long overdue return of the real meaning of Christmas:- the playful pursuit, adulation & love of money above all else.

Buddha bling agus Nollaig shona mit Zu AvB.

4068ac1elhodqr

Great success to OP Von-face.
But much more bigly, way hugliyer greater success to me.

Thanks to ms paint and the dotmatrix printer. This visionboard is just for Janurary, who knows what Feb will bring:

KERSPLAT!

tara73 wrote: »

is it? I was slightly thinking it must be this or a troll. But others didn't get it either, relieved..:D

Very few I would hope...

andekwarhola

JupiterKid wrote: »

AVB....the glorified troll with expensive tastes.;)

At least it's amusing and lighthearted instead of being a dreary, interminable hobbyhorse.

fullstop

Hooks Golf Handicap wrote: »

I speak for many of us when I ask:

Who the **** are you and why should I care ?

Clearly you don't, n00b.

Slideways

Aongus, I’m interested in your opinion of the “Christmas Millionaire”

The bloke who comes back to his home town all flush with cash, buying pint bottles of Bulmers for the lads down the local yet hasn’t a pot to piss in nor a window to chuck it out of for the rest of the year that he spends in Hackney/Doha/Bondi

RobbingBandit

JupiterKid wrote: »

AVB....the glorified troll with expensive tastes.;)

He's everything you want to be

server down

Nice to see AVB back on track. I know most of 2016 was harsh on him what with the incident with the penguin. The Germans take that kind of stuff more seriously than here.

GMSA

Waiting patiently in anticipation of an update on the Christmas festivities. How many put downs will he fit in one post? 110 posts in so far and only 2 from the OP.

andekwarhola

andekwarhola wrote: »

At least it's amusing and lighthearted...

True, which is why I enjoyed it, there was an insouciance, and no "look at me...look at me...LOOK AT ME" about it. Now he's introduced an element that jars with the rest of the character.

Aongus Von Bismarck

As the renowned writers Geoffrey Chaucer and Nelly Furtado once said - all good things come to an end. And so it is that a fantastic year of achievement and accomplishment comes to a depressing conclusion with a Christmas Day that could be described as abysmal at best. The fact that I find myself posting on this site, a site normally associated with men with beards discussing computer gaming strategy, is evidence enough of the horrors that I had to endure.

Things started to go wrong from the very start. The Brother has recently discovered atheism, and has become one of those insufferable types who feel the need to talk about it constantly, quoting nonsense from spoofers such as Dawkins. As a result of this he refused to go along with our time honored family tradition of attending Midnight Mass. The Mass itself was a tough hour, mostly because of the ‘efforts’ of the local choir. Their rendition of Silent Night in particular was horrific, with one local busybody thinking he sounds like Andrea Bocelli, when in reality he sounds like a pig being lead to slaughter. We arrived home to find the brother passed out on the couch, surrounded by empty cans and the remains of a Maltesers selection box.

I ran the Goal Mile on Christmas morning. There was lots of guffawing from slack jawed yokels as I went through my warm up routine before the race. There was rather less guffawing when I posted the best time in my age category by a considerable margin, beaten overall by a few athletes in their early 20’s. I entered into the spirit of the charity race by donating 500 euro afterwards.

The present giving wasn’t exactly a success; the Brother (when he finally got up) asked if he could cash in the generous voucher for Louis Copeland's that I gave him. I figured that a suit might help him get a real job and would perhaps increase the chances of a favorable outcome at his next inevitable court appearance. As I said to Mother, it’s time Judge Mary Fahy got tough with him.

There was also a distinct lack of gratitude from other family members. My Father did express genuine thanks for the all-expenses paid trip to the Cheltenham festival (all expenses doesn’t include bets I quipped!). The voucher for Ballymaloe that I gave to my Mother was frostily received. After a few too many glasses of wine, she actually had a go at me and claimed that she didn't need to be taught how to cook. When I mentioned that her Christmas Dinner roast potatoes suggested otherwise she left the room in tears. I've always told her to limit herself to two glasses and these emotional outbursts are what happens when she doesn't listen. I did manage to save the meal by preparing a wonderful turkey jus instead of the Bisto based fiasco that was being proposed. You can’t do much with over cooked turkey and vegetables, but it really saved it from being, frankly, inedible.

Christmas Dinner itself was made all the merrier by a surprise guest in the shape of my brother's latest paramour. Her Christmas Day attire wouldn't have looked out of place in Amsterdam's Red Light district; she single handedly polished off one of the bottles that I had earmarked for pairing with the cheeseboard. To her credit, the girl was knowledgeable, thanks to her if I ever find myself in the position of being an unemployed single mother, I know how to maximize my returns from trips to the Social Welfare office.

I’d had quite enough of the family by late afternoon, so retired to the kitchen to listen to some classical music, read some of a wonderful new book published on Charlemagne, and to feast on the wonderful cheeseboard I had prepared.

Finally, as I predicted, here is what the Brother got me for Christmas. I don’t know why I bother.

https://imgur.com/a/fZ1v4

MilesMorales1

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

As the renowned writers Geoffrey Chaucer and Nelly Furtado once said - all good things come to an end. And so it is that a fantastic year of achievement and accomplishment comes to a depressing conclusion with a Christmas Day that could be described as abysmal at best. The fact that I find myself posting on this site, a site normally associated with men with beards discussing computer gaming strategy, is evidence enough of the horrors that I had to endure.

Things started to go wrong from the very start. The Brother has recently discovered atheism, and has become one of those insufferable types who feel the need to talk about it constantly, quoting nonsense from spoofers such as Dawkins. As a result of this he refused to go along with our time honored family tradition of attending Midnight Mass. The Mass itself was a tough hour, mostly because of the ‘efforts’ of the local choir. Their rendition of Silent Night in particular was horrific, with one local busybody thinking he sounds like Andrea Bocelli, when in reality he sounds like a pig being lead to slaughter. We arrived home to find the brother passed out on the couch, surrounded by empty cans and the remains of a Maltesers selection box.

I ran the Goal Mile on Christmas morning. There was lots of guffawing from slack jawed yokels as I went through my warm up routine before the race. There was rather less guffawing when I posted the best time in my age category by a considerable margin, beaten overall by a few athletes in their early 20’s. I entered into the spirit of the charity race by donating 500 euro afterwards.

The present giving wasn’t exactly a success; the Brother (when he finally got up) asked if he could cash in the generous voucher for Louis Copeland's that I gave him. I figured that a suit might help him get a real job and would perhaps increase the chances of a favorable outcome at his next inevitable court appearance. As I said to Mother, it’s time Judge Mary Fahy got tough with him.

There was also a distinct lack of gratitude from other family members. My Father did express genuine thanks for the all-expenses paid trip to the Chelthnam festival (all expenses doesn’t include bets I quipped!). The voucher for Ballymaloe that I gave to my Mother was frostily received. After a few too many glasses of wine, she actually had a go at me and claimed that she didn't need to be taught how to cook. When I mentioned that her Christmas Dinner roast potatoes suggested otherwise she left the room in tears. I've always told her to limit herself to two glasses and these emotional outbursts are what happens when she doesn't listen. I did manage to save the meal by preparing a wonderful turkey jus instead of the Bisto based fiasco that was being proposed. You can’t do much with over cooked turkey and vegetables, but it really saved it from being, frankly, inedible.

Christmas Dinner itself was made all the merrier by a surprise guest in the shape of my brother's latest paramour. Her Christmas Day attire wouldn't have looked out of place in Amsterdam's Red Light district; she single handedly polished off one of the bottles that I had earmarked for pairing with the cheeseboard. To her credit, the girl was knowledgeable, thanks to her if I ever find myself in the position of being an unemployed single mother, I know how to maximize my returns from trips to the Social Welfare office.

I’d had quite enough of the family by late afternoon, so retired to the kitchen to listen to some classical music, read some of a wonderful new book published on Charlemagne, and to feast on the wonderful cheeseboard I had prepared.

Finally, as I predicted, here is what the Brother got me for Christmas. I don’t know why I bother.

https://imgur.com/a/fZ1v4

You do know this makes you come across as a complete and utter prick? Like I don't know so its possible its all bluster (assuming any of this is even remotely true and not a professional troll, which it definitely is) but why on earth would you, at christmas, do and say stuff like that? Christ almighty.

tomwaterford

Got your mother a trip to a paedo camp for xmas ˆ:eek:



Happy xmas otherwise though aongus (and all
Other boardsies) ✌

Wibbs

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

You do know this makes you come across as a complete and utter prick? Like I don't know so its possible its all bluster (assuming any of this is even remotely true and not a professional troll, which it definitely is) but why on earth would you, at christmas, do and say stuff like that? Christ almighty.

MilesMorales1

Wibbs wrote: »

No I get the joke, he's a troll. It's just really not funny.

tara73

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

You do know this makes you come across as a complete and utter prick? Like I don't know so its possible its all bluster (assuming any of this is even remotely true and not a professional troll, which it definitely is) but why on earth would you, at christmas, do and say stuff like that? Christ almighty.

It's a persiflage. But don't worry, somebody needed to tell me too:D it's actually very funny now reading it..

But I wonder, does the person who writes this lived too long in germany or still does?:D Is it mainly a persiflage on the germans? Because this writing describes exactly the behaviour and thinking of the average german person...:eek:

Rumpy Pumpy

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

You do know this makes you come across as a complete and utter prick? Like I don't know so its possible its all bluster (assuming any of this is even remotely true and not a professional troll, which it definitely is) but why on earth would you, at christmas, do and say stuff like that? Christ almighty.

You aren’t a man with a beard who discusses computer games on this site by any chance?