It's the most wonderful time of the year. I'm here.

Aongus Von Bismarck

Fröhliche Weihnachten to the good people of Boards! This message finds me in the Lufthansa lounge in Frankfurt airport, relaxing before my flight back to Dublin, and the home sod. I’d especially like to thank all the posters who sent me personal messages enquiring as to my whereabouts. I’ll admit that I didn’t have a clue who any of you were, but it’s rather touching that you took the time out of your lives to send me your well wishes.

I also received a small number of extremely abusive messages. Water off a duck’s back, I assure you. I’d suggest these posters take some time out to reflect on why they felt the need to do that, and how they can refocus and reshape that anger into doing something more productive. I don’t like to keep repeating the mantra (if you’ll pardon the pun), but meditation is an invaluable tool for dealing with, and understanding, difficult emotions. Those who spent the year arguing endlessly about the same few topics - may I suggest more mistletoe and less whine in 2018?

I’ve had a pretty extraordinary year, even by my lofty standards. I was recently reviewing a 10 year personal action plan I created at the start of the decade, and 2017 was the year when many of the items in that most ambitious of lists came to pass. At the start of the year I posted on this very forum about my interest in blockchain technology. My investments in Bitcoin and Ethereum were a real rollercoaster this year, and my grounding in financial mathematics allowed me to put in place a strategy that balanced prudent profit taking with some sheer ‘what the hell’ trading. I exited the market a number of weeks ago. When you see people giving advice on a site such as this about investing money in it, then you know you’re in the onine equivalent of the Joseph Kennedy shoeshine boy giving him stock tips.

As I said, I remain extremely interested in the technology stack behind the hysteria, so I’ve invested in an extremely promising start-up which is creating a platform using blockchain technology for the trading of smart contracts amongst small-scale renewable energy producers and their customers. Watch this space.

My career in Frankfurt is still flying, and my strong blend of personality, analytical insight, and work ethic resulted in me being head-hunted by a competing firm working at the cutting-edge of European Finance. Empathy is an extremely important skill in the modern work environment, and it’s something I have in abundance. It’s not something you can feign, but it is something you can recognise in yourself and let flourish. Again, see meditation. My move caused some ripples in the area of Finance that I work in, but I haven’t regretted my move for a second.

That said, I’m taking a slightly more unbuttoned approach to my career. I’m still an extremely ambitious and hard-working man, who demands the upmost from both himself and his colleagues; but I’ve certainly improved my ability to switch off when I need to. Like Mo Farah, I decided to move from 5k and 10k racing to half and full marathons. My half marathon times in particular are the envy of colleagues ten years my junior, and I took particular satisfaction in running a yearly PB when beating an extremely arrogant rival from a competing firm. Pilates has been little short of a miracle in helping with a lower back issue which is the bane of the Von Bismarck clan; my golf handicap is a stubborn 6. I’ve also continued to hike and mountain bike.

I’ve always been a voracious - sometimes insatiable - reader, and this year was a treasure trove of interesting finds and revisited gems. I’m not the sort to go into vulgar details about my love life, but suffice to say I’ve little trouble in attracting members of the opposite sex. However I remain betrothed to my rock, The Baroness. We had intended to start a family in 2017, but alas it wasn’t to be.

Finally, I was in Croke Park in that beautiful day in September when Galway finally ended the famine, and won the AI Hurling final. I’ll admit to shedding a tear as the trophy was held aloft. Shame on their insistence on playing Galway Girl during the celebrations – a sour note in an otherwise wonderful day.

Christmas is a time to stop and reflect, and I will be spending it in Ireland with my family. I’ve had my challenges when it comes to my brother over the years, but we’ve reached some sort of entente cordiale. While I won’t be heading along to a house party with him to drink a bottle of Buckfast, and smoke a few ‘J’s’, I have reached a stage where I’m happy to sit down and watch Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with him. His tipple of choice: strong, cheap Lidl lager; my tipple of choice: a glass of really good Barolo. It takes all sorts to make the world I suppose.


I’ll pretend to enjoy eating the turkey and ham, wear a paper crown, politely decline a slice of Viennetta with dessert, and insist on choosing the cheese board selection. I’ll enjoy every moment, and genuinely appreciate the presents I’m given, even if my brother buys me a Lynx Africa shower set. When I get back to Germany I’ll be taking delivery of a 2018 BMW Alpina B6 xDrive Gran Coupe, so never let it be said that I don’t treat myself.

Happy Christmas folks. Hope it’s a good one.

Ubbquittious

How many millions are you worth now?

Dravokivich

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Empathy is an extremely important skill in the modern work environment, and it’s something I have in abundance. It’s not something you can feign, but it is something you can recognise in yourself and let flourish.

Empathy is not something I'd of considered you guilty of.

but sure... happy new year I guess...

Don Kiddick

Oh good.....who are you again?

JimmyMcGill

And they became more German than the Germans themselves. Christ that was boring.

bear1

Christ.










Mas

MilesMorales1

I am so pleased to see you're back.

Don Kiddick

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

I am so pleased to see you're back.

Should that have not read....

I am so pleased to see your back!

MilesMorales1

Don Kiddick wrote: »

Should that have not read....

I am so pleased to see your back!

I have no idea, since I'm so pleased to be he's back I don't care about silly grammar.

The_Valeyard

So, the cops knew that intenal affairs were setting them up.

RikkFlair

Read all that in Christian Bales voice from American Pyscho.

Outlaw Pete

Aongus is my all-time favourite poster.

There are pretenders to the throne (who probably don't realize in what way they are pretenders), but Aongus is a Mamamouchi par excellence.

weshtawake

Well at least I can empathise with the shedding a tear when Galway hurlers won the A.I. but other than that.............

c_man

What's your favourite pop Christmas song?

MilesMorales1

c_man wrote: »

What's your favourite pop Christmas song?

You think he lowers himself to 'pop' music?!

Carry

A round-robin letter - how twee!

freshpopcorn

If anybody else is in an airport in Frankfurt keep a look out for a man in a pair of chino's!

Dr Crayfish

yawn, your attention seeking rubbish posts were boring years ago, give it up already.

kfallon

See
You
Next
Tuesday

monnies

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Fröhliche Weihnachten to the good people of Boards! This message finds me in the Lufthansa lounge in Frankfurt airport, relaxing before my flight back to Dublin, and the home sod. I’d especially like to thank all the posters who sent me personal messages enquiring as to my whereabouts. I’ll admit that I didn’t have a clue who any of you were, but it’s rather touching that you took the time out of your lives to send me your well wishes.

I also received a small number of extremely abusive messages. Water off a duck’s back, I assure you. I’d suggest these posters take some time out to reflect on why they felt the need to do that, and how they can refocus and reshape that anger into doing something more productive. I don’t like to keep repeating the mantra (if you’ll pardon the pun), but meditation is an invaluable tool for dealing with, and understanding, difficult emotions. Those who spent the year arguing endlessly about the same few topics - may I suggest more mistletoe and less whine in 2018?

I’ve had a pretty extraordinary year, even by my lofty standards. I was recently reviewing a 10 year personal action plan I created at the start of the decade, and 2017 was the year when many of the items in that most ambitious of lists came to pass. At the start of the year I posted on this very forum about my interest in blockchain technology. My investments in Bitcoin and Ethereum were a real rollercoaster this year, and my grounding in financial mathematics allowed me to put in place a strategy that balanced prudent profit taking with some sheer ‘what the hell’ trading. I exited the market a number of weeks ago. When you see people giving advice on a site such as this about investing money in it, then you know you’re in the onine equivalent of the Joseph Kennedy shoeshine boy giving him stock tips.

As I said, I remain extremely interested in the technology stack behind the hysteria, so I’ve invested in an extremely promising start-up which is creating a platform using blockchain technology for the trading of smart contracts amongst small-scale renewable energy producers and their customers. Watch this space.

My career in Frankfurt is still flying, and my strong blend of personality, analytical insight, and work ethic resulted in me being head-hunted by a competing firm working at the cutting-edge of European Finance. Empathy is an extremely important skill in the modern work environment, and it’s something I have in abundance. It’s not something you can feign, but it is something you can recognise in yourself and let flourish. Again, see meditation. My move caused some ripples in the area of Finance that I work in, but I haven’t regretted my move for a second.

That said, I’m taking a slightly more unbuttoned approach to my career. I’m still an extremely ambitious and hard-working man, who demands the upmost from both himself and his colleagues; but I’ve certainly improved my ability to switch off when I need to. Like Mo Farah, I decided to move from 5k and 10k racing to half and full marathons. My half marathon times in particular are the envy of colleagues ten years my junior, and I took particular satisfaction in running a yearly PB when beating an extremely arrogant rival from a competing firm. Pilates has been little short of a miracle in helping with a lower back issue which is the bane of the Von Bismarck clan; my golf handicap is a stubborn 6. I’ve also continued to hike and mountain bike.

I’ve always been a voracious - sometimes insatiable - reader, and this year was a treasure trove of interesting finds and revisited gems. I’m not the sort to go into vulgar details about my love life, but suffice to say I’ve little trouble in attracting members of the opposite sex. However I remain betrothed to my rock, The Baroness. We had intended to start a family in 2017, but alas it wasn’t to be.

Finally, I was in Croke Park in that beautiful day in September when Galway finally ended the famine, and won the AI Hurling final. I’ll admit to shedding a tear as the trophy was held aloft. Shame on their insistence on playing Galway Girl during the celebrations – a sour note in an otherwise wonderful day.

Christmas is a time to stop and reflect, and I will be spending it in Ireland with my family. I’ve had my challenges when it comes to my brother over the years, but we’ve reached some sort of entente cordiale. While I won’t be heading along to a house party with him to drink a bottle of Buckfast, and smoke a few ‘J’s’, I have reached a stage where I’m happy to sit down and watch Dirty Rotten Scoundrels with him. His tipple of choice: strong, cheap Lidl lager; my tipple of choice: a glass of really good Barolo. It takes all sorts to make the world I suppose.


I’ll pretend to enjoy eating the turkey and ham, wear a paper crown, politely decline a slice of Viennetta with dessert, and insist on choosing the cheese board selection. I’ll enjoy every moment, and genuinely appreciate the presents I’m given, even if my brother buys me a Lynx Africa shower set. When I get back to Germany I’ll be taking delivery of a 2018 BMW Alpina B6 xDrive Gran Coupe, so never let it be said that I don’t treat myself.

Happy Christmas folks. Hope it’s a good one.

gUTE rEISE

One eyed Jack

Have to admit, a beautifully crafted post, kinda reminded me of this -

5 tips for writing the perfect Christmas letter


but this is probably the funniest thing I've read all year -

"Aongus wrote:

Finally, I was in Croke Park in that beautiful day in September when Galway finally ended the famine, and won the AI Hurling final. I’ll admit to shedding a tear as the trophy was held aloft. Shame on their insistence on playing Galway Girl during the celebrations – a sour note in an otherwise wonderful day.

I could just picture the disgusted reaction :pac:


Happy Christmas Aongus!

pumpkin4life

Rumpy Pumpy

Don’t think AvB likes McGregor. Vaguely remember him suggesting that the majority of McGregors fans were fat neckbeards in tap-out tshirts.

Fr_Dougal

Glad you got over your missus dumping you, OP.

amcalester

Not up to your usual standard AvB.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Don’t think AvB likes McGregor. Vaguely remember him suggesting that the majority of McGregors fans were fat neckbeards in tap-out tshirts.

Remember something about that alright.

I think the layabout brother and friends recorded over AvB's Michael Palin 'Pole to Pole' VHS tape with a McGregor fight.

Pintman Paddy Losty

Welcome back Aongus.

What cheeses will you have on the cheese selection? What wines to pair them with?

Bambi985

Superb Von Bissy McNissy. 10/10.

Didn't yerself and the missus break up tho? Don't shatter the hearts of a million Irish women...

For Forks Sake

Oh goody, AH's very own Adrian Mole has returned.

I personally demand the utmost.

Good to have you back though!

Paulzx

Ahhhhhhhhhhhh.............a village in Galway is at this moment celebrating the return of it's idiot.


I love this guy. The Galway version of Ross O' Carroll-Kelly

JackTaylorFan

Did anyone else read all that in the voice of the fattest of the three little pigs from Shrek?

Optimalprimerib

That was disappointingly humble by your standards. I'd lay off the meditation. It's changing you and I don't like it.

Candie

Candie wrote: »

Aongus is my all-time favourite poster.

There are pretenders to the throne (who probably don't realize in what way they are pretenders), but Aongus is a Mamamouchi par excellence.

This thread was disappointing.

The appeal was that he carried it off so well and so consistantly. This thread just suggests someone revelling in a caricature. The straight up look at me stuff is more boring than flounces.

begbysback

kfallon wrote: »

See
You
Next
Tuesday

I don't get it - how did this get a yellow, what am I missing here??

Pac1Man

begbysback wrote: »

I don't get it - how did this get a yellow, what am I missing here??

See = C
You = U
Next = N
Tuesday = T

seachto7

“And finally, I’d just like to say I put a big personal effort in myself this year.”

begbysback

Pac1Man wrote: »

See = C
You = U
Next = N
Tuesday = T

Ahh I see - but I wonder has anyone every used this by mistake, like genuinely meeting up with someone next Tuesday!!

Birneybau

Suffice it to say, I had the last laugh.

_Dara_

The_Valeyard wrote: »

So, the cops knew that intenal affairs were setting them up.

Na na na na na na na na, BATMAN!

Aongus Von Bismarck

Pintman Paddy Losty wrote: »

Welcome back Aongus.

What cheeses will you have on the cheese selection? What wines to pair them with?

Hi Patrick.

I visited the Supervalu in the local town this morning to see what the cheese selection was like. Bear in mind this is a part of the country where people still eat things like Calvita, or that 'cheese' that has a laughing cow on the packaging. There was a rudimentary selection of Irish farmhouse cheeses, but they were all wrapped in cellophane. Talk about destroying the product!

I approached the extremely gormless looking teenager who was manning the deli, and asked if they had any that weren't wrapped in plastic or stored under harsh lighting. I might as well have been asking him to solve Fermat's last theorem. Completely blank expression on his face.

Two minutes later and I had the nose of the Beamer hire car pointed towards Galway City. I couldn't help but notice the appalling standard of driving that seems to have become the norm in Ireland - when did the use of indicators become optional? I was in quite a sour mood by the time I visited Sheridan's cheesemongers. Thankfully they had an excellent selection of properly stored cheeses, and a member of staff who knew their brief.

The selection is a Milleens Dote, St Killians, Bellingham Blue, and a Cais na Tire. Can really see the Cais na Tire going well with a fantastic bottle of Chablis that I picked up. The red was a bit of a gamble based on advice from the shop assistant - a man who looked like his tipple of choice is strong cider, preferably drank down at the Spanish Arch. The tasting notes were good though, and 2010 was a fine vintage for the Rhône reds, so I don't think you can go wrong with an approachable bon marché Hermitage.

andekwarhola

Don Kiddick wrote: »

Oh good.....who are you again?

Aongus Von Bismarck.

It's just at the top left of his post.

Earthhorse

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Finally, I was in Croke Park in that beautiful day in September when Galway finally ended the famine, and won the AI Hurling final.

They have machines playing Gaelic now?

Jesus. I'll have to give it a second look.

Esel

Beamer? Tut tut.

Rumpy Pumpy

‘‘Twas far from Chablis and goats cheese you were raised, Gus. Will you be visiting Supermacs over the festive period for a snack box and garlic sauce?

Aongus Von Bismarck

Aongus Von Bismarck wrote: »

Hi Patrick.

I visited the Supervalu in the local town this morning to see what the cheese selection was like. Bear in mind this is a part of the country where people still eat things like Calvita, or that 'cheese' that has a laughing cow on the packaging. There was a rudimentary selection of Irish farmhouse cheeses, but they were all wrapped in cellophane. Talk about destroying the product!

I approached the extremely gormless looking teenager who was manning the deli, and asked if they had any that weren't wrapped in plastic or stored under harsh lighting. I might as well have been asking him to solve Fermat's last theorem. Completely blank expression on his face.

Two minutes later and I had the nose of the Beamer hire car pointed towards Galway City. I couldn't help but notice the appalling standard of driving that seems to have become the norm in Ireland - when did the use of indicators become optional? I was in quite a sour mood by the time I visited Sheridan's cheesemongers. Thankfully they had an excellent selection of properly stored cheeses, and a member of staff who knew their brief.

The selection is a Milleens Dote, St Killians, Bellingham Blue, and a Cais na Tire. Can really see the Cais na Tire going well with a fantastic bottle of Chablis that I picked up. The red was a bit of a gamble based on advice from the shop assistant - a man who looked like his tipple of choice is strong cider, preferably drank down at the Spanish Arch. The tasting notes were good though, and 2010 was a fine vintage for the Rhône reds, so I don't think you can go wrong with an approachable bon marché Hermitage.

He's going full on caricature.

To those who choose to engage, it's a made up character on an anonymous forum, and this thread really settles that. Seriously, don't you have a dishwasher to load or something useful

Rumpy Pumpy

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Seriously, don't you have a dishwasher to load or something useful

Pot, meet kettle.

You need to learn to chillax, Conor. Have you ever considered mindfulness based meditation?

Badly Drunk Boy

I hate the whole idea of cheese-boards. I don't eat cheese anyway, but seeing a cheese-board (or even hearing them mentioned) really annoys me.

Rumpy Pumpy

Rumpy Pumpy wrote: »

Pot, meet kettle.

You need to learn to chillax, Conor. Have you ever considered mindfulness based meditation?

1. I'm pretty "chillaxed"...I'm guessing that means unruffled. Watching people respond to a made up caricature on an anonymous forum isn't a source of anger, but mild amusement.

2. I'll decline the suggestion that some nonsense plucked from Far East philosophy will make this thread seem better.

Pac1Man

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Watching people respond to a made up caricature on an anonymous forum isn't a source of anger, but mild amusement.

Over twenty years ago the mystery and wonder of Christmas was destroyed for me.

Why must you drag up those memories again?