Would you do this to a colleague?

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:23pm #1

There's a person in work who has been pissing people off all year - basically too big for her boots, foists her work onto other people and is just generally full of herself.

We're planning to go for lunch the day we break up for Christmas and the person organising it wants to leave unpopular colleague out. Several others have agreed with this.

Personally I think that's a horrible thing to do to someone and particularly just before Christmas when we won't see each other for over a week. I know she's a pain, but it seems a really childish way to carry on. I'd rather not have the lunch at all than do something like that.

Just wondering how many of you would go along with something like this?

sbsquarepants · 11-12-2017 5:24pm

Fúck her. Enjoy your lunch!

MilesMorales1 · 11-12-2017 5:25pm

No, what a load of childish ****e. You lot have to work together, and thats not good for office harmony, apart from anything else. If anyone has an actual problem with her, they should confront her on the issues, not do some child like act of revenge by not telling her about whats essentially an office social event.

Knex* · 11-12-2017 5:26pm

How big is your office?

If its a small office and ye routinely do things together, and it would be painfully obvious that she was deliberately excluded, I would just invite her.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:26pm

Knex. wrote: »

How big is your office?

There's approximately 20 of us. It would be very hard to organise this without her realising we were all heading off without her.

El Weirdo · 11-12-2017 5:27pm

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

There's a person in work who has been pissing people off all year - basically too big for her boots, foists her work onto other people and is just generally full of herself.

We're planning to go for lunch the day we break up for Christmas and the person organising it wants to leave unpopular colleague out. Several others have agreed with this.

Personally I think that's a horrible thing to do to someone and particularly just before Christmas when we won't see each other for over a week. I know she's a pain, but it seems a really childish way to carry on. I'd rather not have the lunch at all than do something like that.

Just wondering how many of you would go along with something like this?

Work or school?

Knex* · 11-12-2017 5:28pm

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

There's approximately 20 of us.

If 19 are going, then you somewhat have to invite her, I would think. She can't be that bad to justify her being the only one not invited.

If the environment is one where people often to their own thing and its 5-10 of you guys going for lunch, then its probably not a big deal to exclude her.

Lu Tze · 11-12-2017 5:28pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

Fúck her. Enjoy your lunch!

I agree, but it doesn't have to be in that order though

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:28pm

El Weirdo wrote: »

Work or school?

???

Avatar MIA · 11-12-2017 5:28pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

No, what a load of childish ****e. You lot have to work together, and thats not good for office harmony, apart from anything else. If anyone has an actual problem with her, they should confront her on the issues, not do some child like act of revenge by not telling her about whats essentially an office social event.

To close for comfort

:pac:

MilesMorales1 · 11-12-2017 5:28pm

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

???

They're intimating it would be a very childish thing to do.

God almighty, adults (presumably) carrying on like that, its so ludicrous.

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:29pm

Knex. wrote: »

If 19 are going, then you somewhat have to invite her, I would think. She can't be that bad to justify her being the only one not invited.

If the environment is one where people often to their own thing and its 5-10 of you guys going for lunch, then its probably not a big deal to exclude her.

This would be a lunch for all of the 'ordinary' staff ie excluding the 3 senior staff at Director level, so she would be the only one left out to all intents and purposes.

Are Am Eye · 11-12-2017 5:30pm

Keep everyone onside. You never know when you need to use them for a favor.

WoollyRedHat · 11-12-2017 5:30pm

Has anyone ever told her she's too big for her boots? Be honest, does she even wear boots?

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:31pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

They're intimating it would be a very childish thing to do.

God almighty, adults (presumably) carrying on like that, its so ludicrous.

Sorry, I understand now.

Yes, to me it seems very playground type behaviour. Everyone's aged about 35 upwards, so I find it strange carry on. We've never even done a final day lunch before, so it's almost as if some people want to organise it as a way of deliberately excluding her from something.

Knex* · 11-12-2017 5:32pm

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

This would be a lunch for all of the 'ordinary' staff ie excluding the 3 senior staff at Director level, so she would be the only one left out to all intents and purposes.

Long term, I don't think its worth the hassle of not inviting her tbh.

If there's that many at the lunch, whatever annoying presence she may normally have is surely diluted. It won't be that bad.

marieholmfan · 11-12-2017 5:33pm

If the directors go you are creating a compo claim.

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

There's a person in work who has been pissing people off all year - basically too big for her boots, foists her work onto other people and is just generally full of herself.

We're planning to go for lunch the day we break up for Christmas and the person organising it wants to leave unpopular colleague out. Several others have agreed with this.

Personally I think that's a horrible thing to do to someone and particularly just before Christmas when we won't see each other for over a week. I know she's a pain, but it seems a really childish way to carry on. I'd rather not have the lunch at all than do something like that.

Just wondering how many of you would go along with something like this?

Electric Sheep · 11-12-2017 5:33pm

That kind of deliberate exclusion could be construed as workplace bullying. Tread carefully.

corner of hells · 11-12-2017 5:33pm

No , that's exclusion.
Almost like bullying.

Invite her and punch the head off her later when your full of drunk.

Are Am Eye · 11-12-2017 5:33pm

If I'm not mistaken legally it meets the definition of bullying - social exclusion of one person in workplace. In conjunction with other things, she could make a HR complaint against someone. So keep it quiet if you're doing it.

Edit: As per Electric Sheep above. Great minds...

Sabre0001 · 11-12-2017 5:33pm

You won't see her for a week...but then it'll be back to business as normal and ye'll see her every day. Either don't have the lunch or invite everyone. It's a small world and you never know, you may encounter her again in different jobs in the future.

Akrasia · 11-12-2017 5:35pm

Having dinner with arrogant blowhards that nobody really likes is what christmas is all about.

Knex* · 11-12-2017 5:35pm

Ye'll surely all be in such high spirits with the prospect of a Christmas break that Hitler himself could be at the lunch and you'd barely give a ****.

I say invite her.

corner of hells · 11-12-2017 5:39pm

Are Am Eye wrote: »

If I'm not mistaken legally it meets the definition of bullying - social exclusion of one person in workplace. In conjunction with other things, she could make a HR complaint against someone. So keep it quiet if you're doing it.

Edit: As per Electric Sheep above. Great minds...

Oh so you're ignoring me ...

Neyite · 11-12-2017 5:39pm

Deandre Shapely Tape wrote: »

This would be a lunch for all of the 'ordinary' staff ie excluding the 3 senior staff at Director level, so she would be the only one left out to all intents and purposes.

Then you need to invite her. Bullying by exclusion could land all you 19 who were complicit in it in trouble professionally.

blue note · 11-12-2017 5:44pm

Invite her because it's the right thing to do.

Electric Sheep · 11-12-2017 5:44pm

Neyite wrote: »

Then you need to invite her. Bullying by exclusion could land all you 19 who were complicit in it in trouble professionally.

Not to mention that it is a really nasty thing to do, and will reflect badly on all of you. Stand up for what you know is the right thing, and invite her. This sort of Mean Girls behavior has no place in the office, and if you go along with it you will lose your self respect.

me_irl · 11-12-2017 5:46pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

They're intimating it would be a very childish thing to do.

God almighty, adults (presumably) carrying on like that, its so ludicrous.

Yeah, well... SHE started it! :pac:

c68zapdsm5i1ru · 11-12-2017 5:46pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

Not to mention that it is a really nasty thing to do, and will reflect badly on all of you. Stand up for what you know is the right thing, and invite her. This sort of Mean Girls behavior has no place in the office, and if you go along with it you will lose your self respect.

I agree. I'm definitely not going to go. A couple of others have mentioned reservations as well so hopefully, if it goes ahead there will be several people who won't be there which might mean unpopular colleague won't realise she's the only one not invited.

Avatar MIA · 11-12-2017 5:47pm

Electric Sheep wrote: »

That kind of deliberate exclusion could be construed as workplace bullying. Tread carefully.

If it's not organised or paid by work, it isn't bullying. If it is, that's different.

major bill · 11-12-2017 5:48pm

I think if you leave her out then that definitely comes across as bullying. I'd call her out on her antics before I'd exclude from team events.

Would you do this to a colleague?

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