Online dating in 2017

professore

lukesmom wrote: »

Would you not do something a bit different and out there like...i don't know maybe approach a real live woman? In the flesh as opposed to behind a screen?

Have a look over on the MeToo thread. That's sexual harassment now.

dd972

lukesmom wrote: »

Would you not do something a bit different and out there like...i don't know maybe approach a real live woman?

Tried that Necrophilia once,.... it was a dead loss.

Mrs Shuttleworth

dd972 wrote: »

Some folk are born to meet 'other halves/soulmates'. They've either have personalities conducive to it happening or they're people that God/the Cosmos/Fate likes and looks after.

And there are other people who never meet anyone at all, whether they try or don't try, whether they're in a good phase personally or a bad phase. People from smaller families and who aren't in wide friendship circles from the get go tend to have it harder. In Ireland people get into cliques early on in college, work and start "dating" out of that. If you don't get off to a good footing off the bat it becomes harder as time passes.

I've given up on that side of life myself and am completely at peace with it now. There are other things I clearly have to do/complete and I'm focusing on them. This probably isn't what the OP wants to hear.

pickarooney

Mrs Shuttleworth wrote: »

And there are other people who never meet anyone at all, whether they try or don't try, whether they're in a good phase personally or a bad phase. People from smaller families and who aren't in wide friendship circles from the get go tend to have it harder. In Ireland people get into cliques early on in college, work and start "dating" out of that. If you don't get off to a good footing off the bat it becomes harder as time passes.

I've given up on that side of life myself and am completely at peace with it now. There are other things I clearly have to do/complete and I'm focusing on them. This probably isn't what the OP wants to hear.

Why not date the OP? At least you can have fun out béal bochting one another once you've moved past the initial awkwardness of 'actually, you know what, I am just a little fussy'

zcorpian88

Deleted User wrote: »

Ireland just doesn't have the population for online dating unless you're located in Dublin.

Agree with this, most of the rest of the country at least in POF terms, at least in my county and even surrounding counties, are the same few dozen women at best, in my county in general it's the same 12-15 women on it and are on it very frequently, sometimes all day, every day, some are attractive, some are average enough and are women that have been on there for months and months and have no intention of dating anyone in the locality, and wouldn't bother their ass replying to a nice message that I might put some effort into, might get a profile view from someone at best, but not a word. Wouldn't mind as much to get a reply even if the person wasn't interested, beats being snubbed. You could get through 50 people in a month and have to resort to messaging outside your county because you've more or less gone through everyone of your own age that is within 10km for example.

Beginning to think online dating, at least in my area is just feeding peoples inner narcissism/ego.

Dr Crayfish

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Beginning to think online dating, at least in my area is just feeding peoples inner narcissism/ego.

Although this may be the case for some, you can't really jump to that conclusion just because you're not getting messages.
I met a lot of women from these things over the years, but also I had tonnes of messages ignored from women who I thought would be in my range, for want of a better word, and who I thought we may have a lot in common. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket.

zcorpian88

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

Although this may be the case for some, you can't really jump to that conclusion just because you're not getting messages.
I met a lot of women from these things over the years, but also I had tonnes of messages ignored from women who I thought would be in my range, for want of a better word, and who I thought we may have a lot in common. Just don't put all your eggs in one basket.

A pain in the arse really, I'll give an example of a persons inflated view of themselves, messaged this ok looking blonde on it months ago, I come and go from the app, because I just get annoyed with it, anyway, I messaged this blonde girl, saw her around in town actually, thought she was attractive enough. Messaged and said hi, mentioned something nice about the profile, blocked me straight away. No good reason.

Few days later she appears in the new users section, she keeps renewing her account in order to get more hits, more compliments, more attention. She does this the whole time, part of me just wants to catfish her for my own personal amusement.

Dr Crayfish

zcorpian88 wrote: »

A pain in the arse really, I'll give an example of a persons inflated view of themselves, messaged this ok looking blonde on it months ago, I come and go from the app, because I just get annoyed with it, anyway, I messaged this blonde girl, saw her around in town actually, thought she was attractive enough. Messaged and said hi, mentioned something nice about the profile, blocked me straight away. No good reason.

Few days later she appears in the new users section, she keeps renewing her account in order to get more hits, more compliments, more attention. She does this the whole time, part of me just wants to catfish her for my own personal amusement.

You're not supposed to get that involved in someone's profile, you don't know them. If it's not working for you just leave it.

tomwaterford

zcorpian88 wrote: »

A pain in the arse really, I'll give an example of a persons inflated view of themselves, messaged this ok looking blonde on it months ago, I come and go from the app, because I just get annoyed with it, anyway,.

Why bother using it,if it annoys yous?

Life's too short for that

Hammer89

The defensive ones about their kids are gas on POF. "Howya, me name's Shauna and I have four kids. Yes, kids! K-I-D-S. Kids, I have them, four of them. Kids with the capital K for knob someone else if you don't like kids, which I have (four to be specific). They're me world."

Mister Vain

tomwaterford wrote: »

Why bother using it,if it annoys yous?

Life's too short for that

Yeah thats the way I look at it. It can get to the stage where the pusuit of a date leaves you more unhappy than simply being single. Better to do stuff you enjoy. Stop looking and start living.

zcorpian88

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

You're not supposed to get that involved in someone's profile, you don't know them. If it's not working for you just leave it.

I'm just trying to make conversation and steering it towards their interests ffs. I'm sure they get enough generic "hi"/ "howya" messages and you'd be surprised how many of them complain of that too. Then ya open with a message showing that you went through what they wrote and want to get to know the person, and then....f**k all. Even more discouraging to be blocked, it's like I insulted her or something.

Lux23

zcorpian88 wrote: »

I'm just trying to make conversation and steering it towards their interests ffs. I'm sure they get enough generic "hi"/ "howya" messages and you'd be surprised how many of them complain of that too. Then ya open with a message showing that you went through what they wrote and want to get to know the person, and then....f**k all. Even more discouraging to be blocked, it's like I insulted her or something.

I am in a relationship five years now but in my experience of dating online from the days of Yahoo chat rooms right up to the POF app, girls always got dozens of messages. If I fancied the sender it didn't matter if he sent an opus or a hi, I was probably going to respond so if you're not getting any replies maybe get some better pictures taken. Girls like to see your face so an up-close shot is always nice.

I remember saying hello to the lads I didn't fancy just to be polite but I stopped doing this because I felt I was leading them on and if I didn't respond to the next message (or three!!) I sometimes got a torrent of abuse. But then again I often got abuse for not replying. And even when I just blocked them, they would set up new accounts to send me nasty messages.

I would hope in the last five years that people have matured digitally but from what I hear from friends of both sexes it is worse now then it was five years ago.

zcorpian88

Lux23 wrote: »

I am in a relationship five years now but in my experience of dating online from the days of Yahoo chat rooms right up to the POF app, girls always got dozens of messages. If I fancied the sender it didn't matter if he sent an opus or a hi, I was probably going to respond so if you're not getting any replies maybe get some better pictures taken. Girls like to see your face so an up-close shot is always nice.

I remember saying hello to the lads I didn't fancy just to be polite but I stopped doing this because I felt I was leading them on and if I didn't respond to the next message (or three!!) I sometimes got a torrent of abuse. But then again I often got abuse for not replying. And even when I just blocked them, they would set up new accounts to send me nasty messages.

I would hope in the last five years that people have matured digitally but from what I hear from friends of both sexes it is worse now then it was five years ago.

I am single well over a year now, my last relationship was a rebound, met the person 9 months after a horrible breakup with someone I was very much into. More or less under the surface resented the person I had the rebound with because, well, she wasn't like the previous person I was with. That person I ended it with too, it was a very complicated breakup.

I was always disillusioned with the dating scene here because more often than not it involves the pub, alcohol, getting the shift, getting the phone number then the next day the other person abandons ship when I initiate something later...rinse and repeat. And it's gotten so old. At 29 now I'm generally sick of the pub scene, same malarkey all the time, just want a few dates and something long term can come of it. This time of the year does kill me with Christmas and New Year, would be nice to have companionship. Just kind of feels like my life is passing me by kind of way.

As for my POF account, I have a few close up shots and one full body shot, I'm not dressed like James Bond or anything but they aren't terrible pictures. I'd be pretty average looking, but make myself look well for a night out or whatever. I wouldn't abuse anyone online but it does get frustrating, I mean 50+ people are in my sent messages list now, and that's from about 8 weeks of being on, it actually surpassed 50 but I think the app in general stops at the 50 mark and it adds your most recent messages to the list and gets rid of the old ones, it's probably like 60+ by now.

Absolute rat race it is, just someone nice and close enough to home, shouldn't be this difficult.

OP I wonder are you still harbouring feelings for the woman you had the horrible break up with? You mention it in almost every post you make.

eeguy

In think Bumble is gaining on Tinder now.

Might be a better shout.

Also you need to pay for tinder once you hit 30, so time is running out for you!

zcorpian88

Deleted User wrote: »

OP I wonder are you still harbouring feelings for the woman you had the horrible break up with? You mention it in almost every post you make.

No that's well over, accepted it, maybe there is an element of bitterness there, because even when I finished it, I knew it was going to be very difficult and time consuming to find someone else who I really gel and connect with, and I was spot on. When I have this much hardship just to get a bit of contact going, the mind would float back and yeah I would think "this is all her fault, she just had to be this way" etc

It's a s**t way to think, the chronic loneliness would get to you, have loads of friends and I get out quite a bit, but there is something missing.

Tried Bumble a few months ago, was on it a fortnight, found it as tedious as Tinder tbh. Could get back on it....meh...

ardinn

eeguy wrote: »

In think Bumble is gaining on Tinder now.

Might be a better shout.

Also you need to pay for tinder once you hit 30, so time is running out for you!

Please say this is true so I can take them to court for age discrimination!

ardinn

zcorpian88 wrote: »

No that's well over, accepted it, maybe there is an element of bitterness there, because even when I finished it, I knew it was going to be very difficult and time consuming to find someone else who I really gel and connect with, and I was spot on. When I have this much hardship just to get a bit of contact going, the mind would float back and yeah I would think "this is all her fault, she just had to be this way" etc

It's a s**t way to think, the chronic loneliness would get to you, have loads of friends and I get out quite a bit, but there is something missing.

Tried Bumble a few months ago, was on it a fortnight, found it as tedious as Tinder tbh. Could get back on it....meh...

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

zcorpian88

ardinn wrote: »

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

No I'm not the OP, just saw the thread and posted.

misstearheus

ardinn

ardinn wrote: »

Your not the OP though!!!

:eek::eek::eek::eek:

IVE FOUND A DOUBLE ADAPTER USER FAKE PROFILE AKA THING!

Oh my fault

eeguy

ardinn wrote: »

Please say this is true so I can take them to court for age discrimination!

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

Dr Crayfish

eeguy wrote: »

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

I haven't used Tinder in maybe 6 months but it was free then for us 30+ geriatrics, do they really charge now? Find that hard to believe.

Mister Vain

No they don't charge. I tried it yesterday and was able to use it no problem. Although I seem to only get Brazilian girls with huge glasses for some reason.

zcorpian88

eeguy wrote: »

Yep, its true.
Good luck with your lawsuit.

Personally i met my gf on Bumble. Signed up and swiped away for a while. Its nice that women message first. Suppose they're less jaded to lads sending them "up for the ride?" and "nice tits" messages.

After a week i had 50 potentials, so in paid the 3 euro to see who swiped for me. Swiped right on the ones i was interested in and my now gf was one of them.

Well done, fairplay....maybe I should give it another try. I think last time I used it, it was all Dublin based folk, live nowhere near there, nor do I fancy going up there. I'd like a relationship not a commute/relationship

Dr Crayfish

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Well done, fairplay....maybe I should give it another try. I think last time I used it, it was all Dublin based folk, live nowhere near there, nor do I fancy going up there. I'd like a relationship not a commute/relationship

I would find someone actively pursuing a relationship kind of off putting, but maybe I'm weird. Are you happy with your life in general? You sound a little frustrated I don't mean any offence I was probably like you once.

zcorpian88

Dr Crayfish wrote: »

I would find someone actively pursuing a relationship kind of off putting, but maybe I'm weird. Are you happy with your life in general? You sound a little frustrated I don't mean any offence I was probably like you once.

Not so much actively pursuing, just difficult getting myself out there and meeting people, weekends are boring, like I hang out with friends most weekends but most of them now are settling down, in long term relationships, and busy doing their thing, one or two others are working on their career, I'm working on moving into an IT job but like I'd like to have a bit of fun (not sex) some people would read into that, I mean just a date, bit of excitement.

As for being happy in my life, what Irish 29 year old is happy with their life in fairness? S**t economy, not a lot of opportunity, everything is expensive, can't buy a house, renting is a struggle, lots of miserable stuff in the Irish media. I'd love to meet a "happy" 29 year old!

eeguy

Im a happy 29 year old

tomwaterford

zcorpian88 wrote: »

Not so much actively pursuing, just difficult getting myself out there and meeting people, weekends are boring, like I hang out with friends most weekends but most of them now are settling down, in long term relationships, and busy doing their thing, one or two others are working on their career, I'm working on moving into an IT job but like I'd like to have a bit of fun (not sex) some people would read into that, I mean just a date, bit of excitement.

As for being happy in my life, what Irish 29 year old is happy with their life in fairness? S**t economy, not a lot of opportunity, everything is expensive, can't buy a house, renting is a struggle, lots of miserable stuff in the Irish media. I'd love to meet a "happy" 29 year old!

I'm reasonably happy like (roughly that age group)....still get pissed off an odd time etc

But life Is good by and large...healthwise there's so many worse off than me

Obv il never own a house,or be rich....but I recently spent time with 2 people who are dying and reallly don't want to/unable to accept it

And personally at least all my struggles/issues are nothing...even if I was to die in morning....I'd be happy with what I've done with mine



...not to dismiss what's making you unhappy...but would you want to date a unhappy 29YO girl