Bizarre Airplane or Airport behaviour

lazybones32

Never witnessed any strange behaviour but my last flight, got stuck between some fat yoke one my left and a chick with big boobs on my right.
Fatty was radiating heat - i kid you not. We hit some turbulance early on and there was serious jiggling either side of me. Was so tempted to just stare.

ArnoldJRimmer

Was on a long haul flight to Thailand via Abu Dhabi many years ago where increasingly bizarre things started to happen. Firstly, some woman sitting nearby became absolutely hysterical when a guy sat down beside her. My female friend helped to calm her down and turns out she had been the recent victim of an assault and this poor fella brought back memories of it. After talking to staff, he agreed to move seats and allow a woman sit beside her

Next, a guy on the other side (was in middle aisle) had a meltdown when the person in front of him put his seat back. Started shaking the headrest and shouting until staff managed to calm him down too. Same guy, when he was finished his meal, grabbed his tray of rubbish and just plonked it down on top of my mates tray, who was sitting opposite. Don't think I've ever seen a more ignorant person in my life

And to top it all off, noticed that the late great Frank Carson was sitting a few rows ahead of me

Wanderer2010

People who stand up the SECOND the plane stops after taxiing to their gate, and look all impatient and muttering whilst looking at their watches, as if they should IMMEDIATELY be able to depart. Jesus, you aren't going anywhere for a few mins, what's the bloody point in standing up right away...

bear1

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

You've never been on a flight heading to or from Poland.

odyssey06

tayto lover wrote: »

What I noticed is that as soon as the plane takes off everyone wants to pee.
Why couldn't they go before boarding the plane?

Could it be a cabin pressure thing?

bear1

Oh and the most bizarre thing was a passenger who stripped naked and began masturbating on a flight from bergamo to charleroi.
Flight was full and they had to move women sitting next to him to the jump seats.
Security waiting for him when we landed.

Deadly serious.

tayto lover

odyssey06 wrote: »

Could it be a cabin pressure thing?

It could be anything. I don't suffer from it anyway so it clearly doesn't effect everyone.
It is very annoying.

Avatar MIA

ArnoldJRimmer wrote: »

And to top it all off, noticed that the late great Frank Carson was sitting a few rows ahead of me

Jesus, you should have lead with that. Someone had brought the body of Frank Carson on board, now that's weird! Or is it the Way You Tell 'Em?

m5ex9oqjawdg2i

Fratton Fred wrote: »

what always amazes me is the people who argue with Cabin crew.

They are not a law onto themselves. Don't think you can't challenge their decisions on certain things. Like thumping the **** out of your camera bag because they need to make space for another bag/jacket/whatever.

The most bizarre thing I have witnessed is two supersized american's, in Frankfurt, giving the cashier **** about the food, and the cashier saying something like "yea, well I don't care, this isn't America... NEXT!"

My flights are quite boring

amber2

Was in a queue boarding a flight to Poland when a guy runs up the priority boarding queue, guy in regular queue sticks his hand out to stop priority boarding Queue guy, who gives regular queue guy a box into the face sending regular queue guys front teeth into the next isle.... thought there was gonna be trouble & was waiting for someone to be hauled off the flight but we all went on our merry way, some minus their front teeth.

HalloweenJack

HalloweenJack wrote: »

People who clap when the plane lands. Seems to be mostly an Irish/UK thing.

What do they do if it crashes? Boo!

tea and coffee

OnDraught wrote: »

Planes should be divided up with a section for people that want to sit in peace and not have to listen to other people's nonsense/kids. I'd pay extra for this.

They have done. It's called Business class

NickNickleby

In the last few years I have only once encountered the clapping at touchdown phenomenon. And I was one of them...

Stobart Air flight from Bristol. Just before Christmas, bad weather. Boarding delayed by over an hour with no explanation. Finally get on board, pilot explains that these little planes cannot land in winds of over xxKPH. (can't remember the number). but the weather at Dublin has settled now, so we're just preparing to take off. Then nothing. THen obviously the same wind has crossed the Irish sea, and we sit in the plane with it rocking back and forth but not attempting to take off. After about 40 minutes, the pilot apologises and says "great - we're off". So away we go. About 50 minutes later I notice that the sun appears through my window first, then through the one opposite, then back etc etc. So I figure we're circling. 20 minutes later we drop out of the sky , the plane is buffeting from side to side, up and down. EVERYONE is assuming crash landing position - although it wasn't announced. At the last second he drops us onto the runway with a bang, presumably to avoid the plane flipping or whatever. when we knew all the wheels were on the ground and could feel the brakes on, everyone on that plane clapped the pilot's skill. And I was very happy to join in.

Actually, I remember experiencing the clapping on transatlantic flights, but always assumed it was the Americans clapping. So that previous sentence was the only part of my post that is relevant to the topic:o

XsApollo

Not strange and I don't fly much.
But coming back from Dominican Republic with Air France to Paris, there was some I presume Russian chick on her own was good looking too , sitting in the chair beside me across the isle that got bladdered while we were flying.

Proceeded to start sitting on fellas laps and rubbing them and trying to chat them up.
Lots of couples and honeymooners on the flight myself included.

Wandering Up and down the isle saw her stop a few fellas going to the toilets and start rubbing their balls through their pants and gesturing to the jacks.
Cabin crew asked her a few times to sit down and she would get thick and then continue on.
This was going on for a few hours.
Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face.

Anyway my wife got rid of her.
Plane landed guards came on escorted her off,
Saw her an hour or 2 later in cuffs getting escorted through the airport.

ArnoldJRimmer

Avatar MIA wrote: »

Jesus, you should have lead with that. Someone had brought the body of Frank Carson on board, now that's weird! Or is it the Way You Tell 'Em?

Agreed, the story would have been way better if it was like a Weekend at Bernie's scenario with Frank

Sultan of Bling

bear1 wrote:

Oh and the most bizarre thing was a passenger who stripped naked and began masturbating on a flight from bergamo to charleroi. Flight was full and they had to move women sitting next to him to the jump seats.

Was that the DJ from Cork?

Academic

XsApollo wrote: »

Not strange and I don't fly much.
But coming back from Dominican Republic with Air France to Paris, there was some I presume Russian chick on her own was good looking too , sitting in the chair beside me across the isle that got bladdered while we were flying.

Proceeded to start sitting on fellas laps and rubbing them and trying to chat them up.
Lots of couples and honeymooners on the flight myself included.

Wandering Up and down the isle saw her stop a few fellas going to the toilets and start rubbing their balls through their pants and gesturing to the jacks.
Cabin crew asked her a few times to sit down and she would get thick and then continue on.
This was going on for a few hours.
Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face.

Anyway my wife got rid of her.
Plane landed guards came on escorted her off,
Saw her an hour or 2 later in cuffs getting escorted through the airport.

If you don't regard that as strange, what would count as strange?

DeanAustin

Was in Chicago last year waiting for a flight that was delayed and it eventually arrived at the gate. Took ages for people to get off but eventually they did as the coffin dodgers stumbled off last.

Then comes the announcement to a packed and impatient gate. "Sorry for the delay ladies and gentlemen. We'll be another 15-20 minutes as we have to clean up one of the seats."

You could see people, me included, laughing wondering what the f**k had happened to the seat. Then, almost in unison, you could see the smiles turning to worry as we all thought "F**k, I hope it's not my seat".

odyssey06

XsApollo wrote: »

Her chatting to everybody and opening the buttons on her shirt, getting the cleavage out,
She sat back in her chair and started chatting to me in her language I was just nodding and she got thick for some reason and slapped me across the face and then proceeded to Sit on my lap and apologise , push her boobs on my face. Anyway my wife got rid of her...

What rotten luck... that this didn't happen to you when you were single.

YFlyer

biko wrote: »

I thought so too. Or maybe she is blind or something.

Even Helen Keller had to get someone to read for her.

XsApollo

Academic wrote: »

If you don't regard that as strange, what would count as strange?

I wouldn't call it strange, more inappropriate I would say.
I would consider The guy stripping off and having a tug on the flight strange :-)

bear1

bear1 wrote: »

Oh and the most bizarre thing was a passenger who stripped naked and began masturbating on a flight from bergamo to charleroi.
Flight was full and they had to move women sitting next to him to the jump seats.
Security waiting for him when we landed.

Deadly serious.

They should have put him in the cockpit...

dev100

Spanish Eyes wrote:

Bose noise cancelling headphones and an eye mask for you. Good investment.

You can't beat them !!! Well worth the money for long hauls

diomed wrote:

Baby on my seat. The mother said she needed the seat for her baby.

I'd say that was interesting you walking down aisle way and about to sit down and u checking where your seat was and this little person is looking at you and you contemplating how do I approach this diplomatically ... did she think it comes FOC ?

TerrorFirmer

Stags and Hens on Ryanair flights - you know the ones, you hear them about 500 metres before you arrive at the gate and the dread sets in when you realise that you're going to be trapped in a plane with these people. It's like a competition to see who can make the most irritating, soul piercing insufferable noise - all of it totally unnecessary.

I'm all for a good time but a guy sitting beside me one particular time, part of a stag, was about 40-45 years old, absolutely powering through drinks at around 10am and roaring random phrases sporadically - every time one of his mates would roar something back but there was no actual conversation as such. At one point he was just literally making gutteral noises every few minutes - no words, just a bizarre noise like Bat Dad from South Park in between gulps of beer.

I was actually on a stag on the same flight coincidentally. It was 10am. I was watching a movie on my tablet and drinking a tea wondering "Could this be me in 15/20 years?".

VG31

Spotted this today. Very strange.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZfH0k0YTeQ

Birneybau

VG31 wrote: »

Spotted this today. Very strange.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZfH0k0YTeQ

Indeed

Chester Copperpot

Was mid flight once and a fella totally lost it. Was stripped to the waist and was running up and down the aisle babbling. Don't know if he had a psychotic break or was off his trolley and freaked out. The cabin crew seemed to disappear and he was like that for a few minutes before someone got him into a seat and I don't know if they restrained him or he just calmed down.

pilly

Was going to Madrid alone once and had priorty boarding. Fella who hadn't got priorty but was very tall start chatting me up so he could get on first.

Thought he seemed quite nice, friendly and attractive so went along wih it. He pretended we
were together and it worked but now we're stuck, we have to sit together.

He proceeded to drink every 2 for one baggie on the plane and got louder every time .

Edit: Didn't get time to finish this story last night.

Anyway, he told me his life story very loudly on the plane including the fact that he had been in prison for beating a previous partner and was now barred from contacting her but still intended doing it.

He did give me a few laughs in between the serious **** but I've never wanted a flight to end more in my life. All I was thinking was how am I going to get rid of him when we get off because I had a hotel booked in Madrid, he had nowhere organised.

In the end I hid in the toilets in arrivals until he was gone. When I went out to the taxi queue there was a couple who had been on the plane and they said "your boyfriend was looking everywhere for you". I had to explain and they were pissing themselves laughing. They said they were full convinced we were together.

VG31

VG31 wrote: »

Spotted this today. Very strange.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IZfH0k0YTeQ

What a heap of...nothing.

Person has a brainfart. Officious person with biro ticks them off, and in fairness rightly so. No one was hurt.

Is there anything that people won't film and upload?

Gone Drinking

I was in Prague airport with a friend about 6 or 7 years back. We were too early to check in our bag for our return flight, so we were sitting in the food court area to the left of the main entrance doors.

There wasn't many people around but the two guys at a table away from us were looking and acting a bit strange. I remember thinking it was weird that they weren't speaking to each other at all.

One of them reached for his sports bag, he pulls the handles of a plastic bag out the top zip and leaves them out. Then the two of them get up and leave. I was about to start freaking out, when within seconds this OTHER guy goes and casually sits down at their table beside their bag. He tucks the plastic bag handles in, gets up and leaves with it. It was obviously some sort of drug or money drop.

Anther time, after landing in Majorca (believe it or not!) I saw this howayeeeee 40 year old woman jump on our empty baggage carousel when we were waiting for our bags to come out. She lied down and went around for a few minutes, getting off to get back on at the start. Her mates all cheering her on "AH MARGERET, URRRR ONLYYY DEDLYYYYY LUVVVV".

****ing cringe city