So I'm a fat bastrad on a diet

uch

So I'm a fat bastrad on a diet, And I'm just about to eat me first bag of Tayto in 8 weeks, jaysus me legs are getting weak with excitement, I've lost a few kg but is it worth it not to have tayto,

BBDBB

You'll enjoy the crisps

But regret it when they are gone

Stay strong

uch

BBDBB wrote: »

You'll enjoy the crisps

But regret it when they are gone

Stay strong

They're gone, and they were savage, and now I've 7 or 8 minutes of picking the bits out of me teeth, jaysus I love Tayto

aaronjumper

What flavour and are they going to be in a sandwich?
You need to make the extra effort now that it will be happening less.

Nice one, well done.

BBDBB

My work here is done

2forjoy

I don't know how you survived 8 weeks without a Tayto . Let us in on the secret

aaronjumper

BBDBB wrote: »

My work here is done

It's bloody not, I'm subscribed to this thread now and the two of ye have to keep me entertained until it runs out of steam.

Dance monkeys dance!

uch

aaronjumper wrote: »

What flavour and are they going to be in a sandwich?
You need to make the extra effort now that it will be happening less.

Nice one, well done.

Ah jaysus I just ate them and now I'm sorry I didn't have a couple of slices of bread, I hope you're happy, you put the idea in me head now,,,,,,,, Bullin, can't have another

aaronjumper

uch wrote: »

Ah jaysus I just ate them and now I'm sorry I didn't have a couple of slices of bread, I hope you're happy, you put the idea in me head now,,,,,,,, Bullin, can't have another

I wasn't thinking when I posted that question, I'm sorry.

uch

2forjoy wrote: »

I don't know how you survived 8 weeks without a Tayto . Let us in on the secret

It was like Kim jong UN whipping with his barbed wire wrapped mickey across both cheeks

uch

uch wrote: »

It was like Kim jong UN whipping with his barbed wire wrapped mickey across both cheeks

and I should add, for me, thats not pleasurable

PandaPoo

I'm a big fat f*cking mess and I had a king crisp sandwich in my mams earlier. Then a sausage sandwich, then a chip sandwich

Then 3 beers, a packet of walkers cheese and onion, a magnum, 3 glasses of wine, some Chinese food, a packet of waffles, half a big galaxy caramel.

Like I said, fat f*cking bastard. Enjoy it!

Ninthlife

Reading theses posts is like food porn

**drool**

aaronjumper

Anyone ever make a Tayto or Kings crisp sandwich with coleslaw?
It was a drunk hungry night with hardly anything in the kitchen but it turned out great.

Crunchy as fook too.

degsie

Sausage sandwich, nummm

Ninthlife

I had a Mighty Munch sandwich before and a Meanies one.

God bless beer for the inspiration

Yamanoto

Keep strong & waddle on my fat friend

aaronjumper

Ninthlife wrote: »

I had a Mighty Munch sandwich before and a Meanies one.

God bless beer for the inspiration

I'll be adding those to the try list.

Mena

Screw the diet. I limited myself to 1950 calories a day (strictly) and went from 135kg to 111kg in 9 months.

Ate whatever I wanted so long as I stuck to the calorie count.

Eat them Tayto.

MonkieSocks

Mixing Cheese 'N Oniion and Salty Vinegar


:pac: YUM

:pac: YUM

:pac: YUM

uch

monkeysnapper wrote: »

I've decided today I'm going to do a adventure race next month .

73km built up of cycling , running , kayaking.

I'm far from skinny myself but since I passed 35 and was a bit overweight myself I decided to make small adjustment s , started walking , small bit of cycling .

Did a few charity cycles . Then a few small runs.

I'm 43 now and I still have a pretty bad diet really , I just love junk food !!! Chocolate , icecrean , taytos . Tayto and cheese sambos with salad cream . sausage roll sandwiches with cheese , mayo and ketchup . oh and sprinkled with taytos .

43, ppffft, Listen youngfella, when I was your age I was able for... nothing really, just Tayto and batch, but now Im a new man, and one of these days I'll do a charity Tayto eating competition, and when I win I'll mention monkeysnapper as one of my guiding lights who helped me along the way

Whispered

I had a 3in1 with 2 slices of bread and a can of sombrero. Stuffed! Then I remembered I had a packet of monster munch and a chomp in the press. My choice was to eat them on a full stomach or wait until tomorrow and have to share them with a toddler.

You're getting too much satisfaction from a bag of crisps . By all means have crisps when you like but why not do a set of press ups when you feel peckish first. You'll get more of a kick from feeling your pecs take shape.

aaronjumper

Whispered wrote: »

I had a 3in1 with 2 slices of bread and a can of sombrero. Stuffed! Then I remembered I had a packet of monster munch and a chomp in the press. My choice was to eat them on a full stomach or wait until tomorrow and have to share them with a toddler.

How quickly did you eat them?

IamtheWalrus

PandaPoo wrote: »

I'm a big fat f*cking mess and I had a king crisp sandwich in my mams earlier. Then a sausage sandwich, then a chip sandwich

Then 3 beers, a packet of walkers cheese and onion, a magnum, 3 glasses of wine, some Chinese food, a packet of waffles, half a big galaxy caramel.

Like I said, fat f*cking bastard. Enjoy it!

That is quite the list. Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

ED E

aaronjumper wrote: »

Anyone ever make a Tayto or Kings crisp sandwich with coleslaw?
It was a drunk hungry night with hardly anything in the kitchen but it turned out great.

Crunchy as fook too.

Cheesy coleslaw and Doritos between fresh Tesco Vienna loaf. To ****in die for.

uch

Mena wrote: »

Screw the diet. I limited myself to 1950 calories a day (strictly) and went from 135kg to 111kg in 9 months.

Ate whatever I wanted so long as I stuck to the calorie count.

Eat them Tayto.

Ah yeah but I'm not good with them oul calorie yokes, I just like grub, and beer, so I've cut out butter and cake, and everyone knows I Love Cake!

aaronjumper

ED E wrote: »

Cheesy coleslaw and Doritos between fresh Tesco Vienna loaf. To ****in die for.

You have to be breaking a few laws with that mix.
What flavour Doritos?

uch

Deleted User wrote: »

You're getting too much satisfaction from a bag of crisps . By all means have crisps when you like but why not do a set of press ups when you feel peckish first. You'll get more of a kick from feeling your pecs take shape.

Ah now if you seen me, I could breast feed a hippo for fecks sake, pressups is the last thing on me mind

IamtheWalrus

uch wrote: »

Ah now if you seen me, I could breast feed a hippo for fecks sake, pressups is the last thing on me mind

Maybe you could also answer this?

Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

vicwatson

uch wrote: »

So I'm a fat bastrad on a diet, And I'm just about to eat me first bag of Tayto in 8 weeks, jaysus me legs are getting weak with excitement, I've lost a few kg but is it worth it not to have tayto,

Have the tayto ffs. Burn it tomorrow with a longer walk. No big deal. Good luck to you

Edit - **** ya lord on the butter on that white bread ha ha

ED E

aaronjumper wrote: »

You have to be breaking a few laws with that mix.
What flavour Doritos?

Blue.

me_irl

Bastard!

Not you, just showing how it's not picked up by the profanity filter.

I'm quite jealous as I need to get off my hole and start doing something to lose a few pounds (ok ok ok stone!).

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Maybe you could also answer this?

Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Ninthlife

uch wrote: »

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I have a history of drug abuse, thats been well documented here, beat it a few years ago, but I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Imagine how happier youd be with those tayto between some batch loaf with butter and a big cup of tea...

The day ISIS mess with tayto and tea is the day terrorism will come to an end

IamtheWalrus

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

That is quite the list. Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

I'd totally reject that, personally; albeit totally anecdotally. I was a mental health mess in my 20s. Drinking insane amounts of alcohol (1 bottle of spirits a few nights a week ... that's not a brag, it's embarrasing), eating a lot of junk, and I was as skinny as a rake.

Now my mental health has improved and I'm working harder, and indeed getting older (turned 30 last year) I'm noticing I can't eat like I used to. I have to gym and swim to maintain my weight, as well as being more pedantic about food. All this, despite having never been happier in my own skin.

All of this is only anecdotal. But people have lots of reasons for not swimming 5k and picking at a quinoa salad before breakfast... busy jobs, family commitments, or sheer hedonism... Id be very slow to assume anyone had 'mental health' issues based on weight. My experience, at least, has been quite the opposite.

Neon_Lights

whats a bastrad?

uch

Neon_Lights wrote: »

whats a bastrad?

One of them things you'll never know

aaronjumper

Neon_Lights wrote: »

whats a bastrad?

1. Well according to google it's a band of some sort.
2. According to urban dictionary it's a bastard that is the result of incest.

Thank you for subscribing to aaronfacts.

IamtheWalrus

uch wrote: »

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I have a history of drug abuse, thats been well documented here, beat it a few years ago, but I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

IamtheWalrus

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I'd totally reject that, personally; albeit totally anecdotally. I was a mental health mess in my 20s. Drinking insane amounts of alcohol (1 bottle of spirits a few nights a week ... that's not a brag, it's embarrasing), eating a lot of junk, and I was as skinny as a rake.

Now my mental health has improved and I'm working harder, and indeed getting older (turned 30 last year) I'm noticing I can't eat like I used to. I have to gym and swim to maintain my weight, as well as being more pedantic about food. All this, despite having never been happier in my own skin.

All of this is only anecdotal. But people have lots of reasons for not swimming 5k and picking at a quinoa salad before breakfast... busy jobs, family commitments, or sheer hedonism... Id be very slow to assume anyone had 'mental health' issues based on weight. My experience, at least, has been quite the opposite.

Well, the overeating and drinking during a low period backs my claim; you just maybe have the body that, at that time, didn't get big. The putting on weight now you're in a better place is an age-related thing. You're 30 now. Happens us all.

I still think regular over-indulgence is a numbing of sorts. Being fat is a consequence of this over-indulgence.

I'm looking for examples that disprove my theory but never find any.

aaronjumper

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

Oh Jesus he's psychic? Do you think it was the Taytos?

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

Nah I grew up with it, a lot my friends where I grew up ended up heroin addicts so I just fell into it, wasn't a conscious decision, but it never is

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Well, the overeating and drinking during a low period backs my claim; you just maybe have the body that, at that time, didn't get big. The putting on weight now you're in a better place is an age-related thing. You're 30 now. Happens us all.

I still think regular over-indulgence is a numbing of sorts. Being fat is a consequence of this over-indulgence.

I'm looking for examples that disprove my theory but never find any.

I've been a lard ass since I was about 14

Neon_Lights

uch wrote: »

I've been a lard ass since I was about 14

did you ever dress up in a nightie and cover yourself in margerine, if so it should be your tinder profile, girls like that kind of thing

uch

Neon_Lights wrote: »

did you ever dress up in a nightie and cover yourself in margerine, if so it should be your tinder profile, girls like that kind of thing

Have I met you ?

Your Face

How fat were you?

vegetables

Had to change my eating habits too, a while back, to fix my skin condition ... gut health is skin health ..... still eating properly, skin cleared up.

Anyway, I find when you're in that moment of 'oh sht I'm going to eat the battered mars bar and I can't stop myself' one trick is to eat some goody goody food like a smoothie or some fruit.

Basically if you can make your belly busy with something else for just a few minutes then it stops manipulating your mind. Your body has to go back to calculating what to do, it has to reschedule what you need.

Hijack your own system to kill the desire before it can get to you.

So when you mind keeps getting flashes of a kebab and you find yourself walking in the direction of the kebab shop just eat something healthy, even if your belly is saying 'no I don't want that I want a kebab'.

Spoil the bad food plan like you'd spoil a dinner when you were young.
Even though in the moment you probably don't want to.

If the banana moped is parked in the only delivery parking space, then the burger truck can't park, and your inner deliveries manager will stop repeatedly calling you and telling you to order burgers.

uch

Your Face wrote: »

How fat were you?

18 stone, 5"6' fat as ****, happy

PandaPoo

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

That is quite the list. Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

Ah I was in my mams so it was free food .

My mental health is in the toilet, suffer with horrific depression but to be fair I've always eaten like that. 50% of the time it's because I'm a mess of a human and 50% of the time its just I f*cking love food, I'll eat myself into a state of nausea and as soon as it subsides I'll do it again. Definite mental health issues at play.

But then again I'm still rocking the sex bod so hey, if it ain't broken.

Your Face

uch wrote: »

18 stone, 5"6' fat as ****, happy

That's not a bad weight from which to lose weight.

What are you weighing now?