So I'm a fat bastrad on a diet

ED E

aaronjumper wrote: »

You have to be breaking a few laws with that mix.
What flavour Doritos?

Blue.

me_irl

Bastard!

Not you, just showing how it's not picked up by the profanity filter.

I'm quite jealous as I need to get off my hole and start doing something to lose a few pounds (ok ok ok stone!).

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Maybe you could also answer this?

Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Ninthlife

uch wrote: »

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I have a history of drug abuse, thats been well documented here, beat it a few years ago, but I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Imagine how happier youd be with those tayto between some batch loaf with butter and a big cup of tea...

The day ISIS mess with tayto and tea is the day terrorism will come to an end

IamtheWalrus

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

That is quite the list. Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

I'd totally reject that, personally; albeit totally anecdotally. I was a mental health mess in my 20s. Drinking insane amounts of alcohol (1 bottle of spirits a few nights a week ... that's not a brag, it's embarrasing), eating a lot of junk, and I was as skinny as a rake.

Now my mental health has improved and I'm working harder, and indeed getting older (turned 30 last year) I'm noticing I can't eat like I used to. I have to gym and swim to maintain my weight, as well as being more pedantic about food. All this, despite having never been happier in my own skin.

All of this is only anecdotal. But people have lots of reasons for not swimming 5k and picking at a quinoa salad before breakfast... busy jobs, family commitments, or sheer hedonism... Id be very slow to assume anyone had 'mental health' issues based on weight. My experience, at least, has been quite the opposite.

Neon_Lights

whats a bastrad?

uch

Neon_Lights wrote: »

whats a bastrad?

One of them things you'll never know

aaronjumper

Neon_Lights wrote: »

whats a bastrad?

1. Well according to google it's a band of some sort.
2. According to urban dictionary it's a bastard that is the result of incest.

Thank you for subscribing to aaronfacts.

IamtheWalrus

uch wrote: »

Nah, happy as a pig in shíte, I have a history of drug abuse, thats been well documented here, beat it a few years ago, but I've no history of depression or anything like that, Happy as fúck and always will be

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

IamtheWalrus

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

I'd totally reject that, personally; albeit totally anecdotally. I was a mental health mess in my 20s. Drinking insane amounts of alcohol (1 bottle of spirits a few nights a week ... that's not a brag, it's embarrasing), eating a lot of junk, and I was as skinny as a rake.

Now my mental health has improved and I'm working harder, and indeed getting older (turned 30 last year) I'm noticing I can't eat like I used to. I have to gym and swim to maintain my weight, as well as being more pedantic about food. All this, despite having never been happier in my own skin.

All of this is only anecdotal. But people have lots of reasons for not swimming 5k and picking at a quinoa salad before breakfast... busy jobs, family commitments, or sheer hedonism... Id be very slow to assume anyone had 'mental health' issues based on weight. My experience, at least, has been quite the opposite.

Well, the overeating and drinking during a low period backs my claim; you just maybe have the body that, at that time, didn't get big. The putting on weight now you're in a better place is an age-related thing. You're 30 now. Happens us all.

I still think regular over-indulgence is a numbing of sorts. Being fat is a consequence of this over-indulgence.

I'm looking for examples that disprove my theory but never find any.

aaronjumper

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

Oh Jesus he's psychic? Do you think it was the Taytos?

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Wouldn't the drug abuse be indicative of numbing some psychic pain?

Nah I grew up with it, a lot my friends where I grew up ended up heroin addicts so I just fell into it, wasn't a conscious decision, but it never is

uch

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

Well, the overeating and drinking during a low period backs my claim; you just maybe have the body that, at that time, didn't get big. The putting on weight now you're in a better place is an age-related thing. You're 30 now. Happens us all.

I still think regular over-indulgence is a numbing of sorts. Being fat is a consequence of this over-indulgence.

I'm looking for examples that disprove my theory but never find any.

I've been a lard ass since I was about 14

Neon_Lights

uch wrote: »

I've been a lard ass since I was about 14

did you ever dress up in a nightie and cover yourself in margerine, if so it should be your tinder profile, girls like that kind of thing

uch

Neon_Lights wrote: »

did you ever dress up in a nightie and cover yourself in margerine, if so it should be your tinder profile, girls like that kind of thing

Have I met you ?

Your Face

How fat were you?

vegetables

Had to change my eating habits too, a while back, to fix my skin condition ... gut health is skin health ..... still eating properly, skin cleared up.

Anyway, I find when you're in that moment of 'oh sht I'm going to eat the battered mars bar and I can't stop myself' one trick is to eat some goody goody food like a smoothie or some fruit.

Basically if you can make your belly busy with something else for just a few minutes then it stops manipulating your mind. Your body has to go back to calculating what to do, it has to reschedule what you need.

Hijack your own system to kill the desire before it can get to you.

So when you mind keeps getting flashes of a kebab and you find yourself walking in the direction of the kebab shop just eat something healthy, even if your belly is saying 'no I don't want that I want a kebab'.

Spoil the bad food plan like you'd spoil a dinner when you were young.
Even though in the moment you probably don't want to.

If the banana moped is parked in the only delivery parking space, then the burger truck can't park, and your inner deliveries manager will stop repeatedly calling you and telling you to order burgers.

uch

Your Face wrote: »

How fat were you?

18 stone, 5"6' fat as ****, happy

PandaPoo

IamtheWalrus wrote: »

That is quite the list. Maybe not suited to this thread, and feel free not to respond, but I've always assumed obesity and junk food diets to be caused by poor mental health and well-being. Would you fall into that category? Genuinely interested.

Ah I was in my mams so it was free food .

My mental health is in the toilet, suffer with horrific depression but to be fair I've always eaten like that. 50% of the time it's because I'm a mess of a human and 50% of the time its just I f*cking love food, I'll eat myself into a state of nausea and as soon as it subsides I'll do it again. Definite mental health issues at play.

But then again I'm still rocking the sex bod so hey, if it ain't broken.

Your Face

uch wrote: »

18 stone, 5"6' fat as ****, happy

That's not a bad weight from which to lose weight.

What are you weighing now?

aaronjumper

Neon_Lights wrote: »

did you ever dress up in a nightie and cover yourself in margerine, if so it should be your tinder profile, girls like that kind of thing

How did we go from taytos to this! :pac:

uch

Your Face wrote: »

That's not a bad weight from which to lose weight.

What are you weighing now?

"14"9' Not bad for a pudgie

Your Face

uch wrote: »

"14"9' Not bad for a pudgie

Eh, f--kin hell.

uch

vegetables wrote: »

Had to change my eating habits too, a while back, to fix my skin condition ... gut health is skin health ..... still eating properly, skin cleared up.

Anyway, I find when you're in that moment of 'oh sht I'm going to eat the battered mars bar and I can't stop myself' one trick is to eat some goody goody food like a smoothie or some fruit.

Basically if you can make your belly busy with something else for just a few minutes then it stops manipulating your mind. Your body has to go back to calculating what to do, it has to reschedule what you need.

Hijack your own system to kill the desire before it can get to you.

So when you mind keeps getting flashes of a kebab and you find yourself walking in the direction of the kebab shop just eat something healthy, even if your belly is saying 'no I don't want that I want a kebab'.

Spoil the bad food plan like you'd spoil a dinner when you were young.
Even though in the moment you probably don't want to.

If the banana moped is parked in the only delivery parking space, then the burger truck can't park, and your inner deliveries manager will stop repeatedly calling you and telling you to order burgers.

Now I want a feckin Kebab, will ye feck off

PandaPoo

PandaPoo wrote: »

Ah I was in my mams so it was free food .

My mental health is in the toilet, suffer with horrific depression but to be fair I've always eaten like that. 50% of the time it's because I'm a mess of a human and 50% of the time its just I f*cking love food, I'll eat myself into a state of nausea and as soon as it subsides I'll do it again. Definite mental health issues at play.

But then again I'm still rocking the sex bod so hey, if it ain't broken.

Well then the glass is half full.

The only reason I pull my arse out of bed to go to the gym is because I frigging love food. I love cheese, I love wine, I love bread and olive oil and anything dairy, and of course, chocolate.

My family GP used to tell my dad (whose love for food I inherited) that if he walked briskly for 45 minutes a day, he would stay healthy for life. I'm sure some Googler will prove us wrong, but it worked for him (Well, he's dead, but he died thin :pac: ) and it works for me, now that I'm getting older, but I'm somehow staying in shape.

You won't sort out the mental health issues just by walking briskly, but you will sort out what you describe as 50% of your weight gain. And once you do that, who knows what kind of mental space that will lead you to.

Best of luck!

Hammer89

I had a weight issue in my younger years and my mum, god rest her, brought me to a hypnotherapist. In one of the sessions, this genius whipped out a bag of King. "I prefer Tayto, but I'll have them too," I thought. But it wasn't a treat. No. It was an experiment. He opened the bag and took out a single crisp - a big one - and held the flame from a lighter underneath it.

"You'll see the grease dripping from this crisp now," he goes, but the f*cking thing basically goes on fire instead and he drops it on the carpet, stamping it out with his foot. "Perhaps I held the flame too close to the crisp," he says, with a chuckle. "Or perhaps you're just a f*cking charlatan trying to brainwash me into thinking that crisps are bad," I go.

That last bit was a lie, but that's actually a true story.

During my binging days, I once ate six packs of Wheelies in one sitting. I had a problem, see. Had they wired my mouth shut, I would've crushed them up into dust on a small make-up mirror, used a debit card to divide them into lines and then snorted it instead, or rubbed it into my gums if I had a hypnosis appointment and a solid surface wasn't available. As long as my brain gets the Wheelie-effect then it doesn't really matter, does it?

Bottom line is, all crisps - except Hot Lips, Banshee Bones and Meanies, overrated as f*ck the three of them - are great. Shout out to a blue pack of Discos as well. Gone but not forgotten my brothers.

uch

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Well then the glass is half full.

The only reason I pull my arse out of bed to go to the gym is because I frigging love food. I love cheese, I love wine, I love bread and olive oil and anything dairy, and of course, chocolate.

My family GP used to tell my dad (whose love for food I inherited) that if he walked briskly for 45 minutes a day, he would stay healthy for life. I'm sure some Googler will prove us wrong, but it worked for him (Well, he's dead, but he died thin :pac: ) and it works for me, now that I'm getting older, but I'm somehow staying in shape.

You won't sort out the mental health issues just by walking briskly, but you will sort out what you describe as 50% of your weight gain. And once you do that, who knows what kind of mental space that will lead you to.

Best of luck!

Eat Less, Move More, exercise in any form is good,

vegetables

uch wrote: »

Now I want a feckin Kebab, will ye feck off

Eat half a bag of sprouts immediately.

Its the only way.

uch

Hammer89 wrote: »

I had a weight issue in my younger years and my mum, god rest her, brought me to a hypnotherapist. In one of the sessions, this genius whipped out a bag of King. "I prefer Tayto, but I'll have them too," I thought. But it wasn't a treat. No. It was an experiment. He opened the bag and took out a single crisp - a big one - and held the flame from a lighter underneath it.

"You'll see the grease dripping from this crisp now," he goes, but the f*cking thing basically goes on fire instead and he drops it on the carpet, stamping it out with his foot. "Perhaps I held the flame too close to the crisp," he says, with a chuckle. "Or perhaps you're just a f*cking charlatan trying to brainwash me into thinking that crisps are bad," I go.

That last bit was a lie, but that's actually a true story.

During my binging days, I once ate six packs of Wheelies in one sitting. I had a problem, see. Had they wired my mouth shut, I would've crushed them up into dust on a small make-up mirror, used a debit card to divide them into lines and then snorted it instead, or rubbed it into my gums if I had a hypnosis appointment and a solid surface wasn't available. As long as my brain gets the Wheelie-effect then it doesn't really matter, does it?

Bottom line is, all crisps - except Hot Lips, Banshee Bones and Meanies, overrated as f*ck the three of them - are great. Shout out to a blue pack of Discos as well. Gone but not forgotten my brothers.

While I admire you for your struggles, them Blue Discos were savage bastrads on yer tongue, it was like sticking yer tongue up a volcano's arsé

uch

anyway, getting back to the Tayto, I can't have another packet till next friday, boo hoo