Engagement ring 'etiquette'

eviltwin

I don't have one. I don't wear rings anyway so it's a bit pointless and I never understand why it's considered an essential part of the process.

KKkitty

Mine cost less than €50. It's a material possession at the end of the day. I could lose it and it wouldn't bother me. It's ridiculous spending money on something like that.

Crea

My friends cousin and her hubby were just starting out working when they got engaged so the ring was relatively small and inexpensive. Roll on a few years and child 1 was born. Hubby wanted to buy her a gift so she handed back the ring and said "I want a bigger diamond".
No sentiment there.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

xzanti wrote: »

So many people saying "it's not about the cost" "Spending any sort of money on the ring is vulgar" etc. But yet EVERY married woman I know has a fairly pricey looking engagement ring on her finger.

Same with the comments on the FB article. Interesting.

When I got engaged I didn't want an engagement ring. We picked out a cheap one (about 200 euro) because he insisted I have a ring even though I wanted a pair of engagement shoes (which I got).

I don't really wear jewellery but a few months later I saw this amazing ring, it wasn't engagementy at all. It was a pink morganite stone encased with tiny little diamonds and I fell in love with it! I put a deposit down myself and ordered it. When he found out I found a ring I was in love with, he insisted on paying for it even though I had a ring and shoes already, and that became my ring. It wasn't even expensive (less than 1k) but I absolutely adored it so much

TerrorFirmer

I can totally understand spending a grand or two (or three) on what is a hugely significant piece of jewellery to some people, that ultimately they'd ideally be hoping to sport for the rest of their lives. In that context a few thousand, while unnecessary, doesn't sound too unreasonable to me all the same.

Anything beyond that is a bit much for me though - but I don't think I'd ever end up with someone on that wavelength, either way.

Kiith

I spent around €250 on an engagement ring for my now wife. That's nowhere near what is "expected" of me, with the whole 3 times your monthly salary.

She loved it, so who gives a **** what the price was.

Bobeagleburger

Spend what you can afford, be it €50 or 10k.

If the woman complains it isn't enough it's time to walk away

RacoonQueen

After reading tigger123 tbh if he was going to spend 2k or more on something for me, I'd rather he bought me an engagement bike. :pac: But if he's buying me an engagment bike it better be at least 4k he spends.

If I ever find anyone stupid enough to want to marry me...I'll tell him that actually I don't wear jewellery at all unless I'm going out out...so probably part of why I wouldn't be bothered with big expensive ring.

rainbow kirby

^ Engagement bike is a fecking fantastic idea

My engagement ring was a family ring, it's a very simple diamond solitaire. My wedding ring is a plain band and wasn't that expensive either. We're quite pragmatic people and had no interest in spending the earth.

Bowlardo

Dramatik wrote: »

For me the relationship would never have got that far in the first place as it's something that I test out early in the relationship before we even start going out but I know for a lot of men that are blinded by looks it can go down to the wire for them to notice. I was replying in the mindset that I was in the position of the man in the OP and how I would react to that, rather than the way I go about my relationships in real life.

How do you test this early in a relationship

bmwguy

Should buy her an engagement liposuction voucher to be used in the following years.

Dyr

StupidLikeAFox wrote: »

Stick to the traditional benchmark of 5 months wages and you'll be grand

you'd get a good quality missus shipped in from out foreign for that.

nice_guy80

ah yes, the three months salary idea

invented by jewellers

many, many women just go crazy when it comes to anything to do with marriage, weddings or engagement
they spend so much of their lives hearing about, talking about it, seeing it happen to others
i've seen perfectly reasonable women lose the plot once engaged

suicide_circus

If you're proposing to a vapid, crass, grasping tantrum throwing dullard you had better spend a tonne on the ring to ensure a lifetime of happiness.

bee06

My husband picked my ring and it's a nicer ring than I would have ever picked for myself. The ring he picked was complete different to what I would have though about and 1000 times better. I love it even more because of the thought he put into it. don't have a clue how much it cost and don't care either but I know he didn't spend crazy money on it because he knows I'd kill him.

timthumbni

To steal a bit from the late, great Groucho Marx , I would never marry any women who said yes.....

In seriousness any person who scoffed at a ring because of the cost or worries about this sort of thing would probably best stay unmarried/ not engaged.

A ridiculous notion. Anyone who spends 1000s of pounds on a fecking ring that is basically indistinguishable from a 20 pound costume one is a mug and obviously has no money worries.

Some of those I Know with the biggest and dearest engagement rings have the worst marriages I know..... make of that what you will..

Korat

The moral of the story is keep your extravagance for big occasions.

It doesn't matter how much you earn if you set a standard for spending X you'd better spend X, Y and Z ..and AA, BB, CC... for something your OH will judge you on for the rest of your sex life.

JupiterKid

It's when reading threads like this that I am truly glad to be a gay man.:D

If and when I get engaged to some guy who is special to me, we might buy each other rings but something original, artistic and tasteful (and understated). Same sex relationships tend to avoid all the bullsh*t conventions that go with heterosexual unions - massive tacky extortionate wedding day etc. As it's so new, there is no social convention to be followed and that is very liberating.:)

If any potential partner demanded a vulgar flashy ring that would put me into debt, I would run a mile from them. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a high maintenance, narcissistic shallow materialistic person.

timthumbni

JupiterKid wrote: »

It's when reading threads like this that I am truly glad to be a gay man.:D

If and when I get engaged to some guy who is special to me, we might buy each other rings but something original, artistic and tasteful (and understated). Same sex relationships tend to avoid all the bullsh*t conventions that go with heterosexual unions - massive tacky extortionate wedding day etc. As it's so new, there is no social convention to be followed and that is very liberating.:)
.

I don't know about that tbh. One of my best mates is gay and there is a lot of tackiness involved especially with the "queenie" type gays. His words not mine by the way so don't shoot the messenger.

I personally think the whole idea of marriage is ridiculous anyway. It's a religious concept and as such I think it's a load of bull****.

Bobeagleburger

timthumbni wrote: »

I don't know about that tbh. One of my best mates is gay and there is a lot of tackiness involved especially with the "queenie" type gays. His words not mine by the way so don't shoot the messenger.

I personally think the whole idea of marriage is ridiculous anyway. It's a religious concept and as such I think it's a load of bull****.

I thought it was a pagan concept adopted by religion? Could be wrong.

I don't think the religion part of it is that strong anymore in Ireland anyway.

Korat

JupiterKid wrote: »

It's when reading threads like this that I am truly glad to be a gay man.:D

If and when I get engaged to some guy who is special to me, we might buy each other rings but something original, artistic and tasteful (and understated). Same sex relationships tend to avoid all the bullsh*t conventions that go with heterosexual unions - massive tacky extortionate wedding day etc. As it's so new, there is no social convention to be followed and that is very liberating.:)

If any potential partner demanded a vulgar flashy ring that would put me into debt, I would run a mile from them. I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a high maintenance, narcissistic shallow materialistic person.

Damn, gay sounds hassle free.

Do you reckon one of those evangelists could talk me gay?

I could buy a yacht with the money saved.

timthumbni

Korat wrote: »

Damn, gay sounds hassle free.

Do you reckon one of those evangelists could talk me gay?

I could buy a yacht with the money saved.

Incorrect. Have you seen the amount those feckers spend on clothes and beauty products. The engagement ring would shy away in comparison.

It's silly auld shíte. Thankfully I'm with a man who is finished with the marrying lark.

Korat

timthumbni wrote: »

Incorrect. Have you seen the amount those feckers spend on clothes and beauty products. The engagement ring would shy away in comparison.

I'd have someone to do the thing I cannot do? ... shopping, and they'd get what I asked for rather than what they'd like to see me in right?

Yacht bedamned, where do I sign up?

DeanAustin

Most women I know care about the cost so the people posting on here are either lying or not representative of the real world. I spent about 2k. My wife didn't want me spending much more but she didn't want me spending much less either.

I'm surprised the sexual equality brigade haven't been all over this to be honest. I keep hearing how men and women are the same yet this whole "man gives a woman expensive jewellery to get engaged" seems a very sexist ritual/practice.

RacoonQueen

DeanAustin wrote: »

Most women I know care about the cost so the people posting on here are either lying or not representative of the real world. I spent about 2k. My wife didn't want me spending much more but she didn't want me spending much less either.

I'm surprised the sexual equality brigade haven't been all over this to be honest. I keep hearing how men and women are the same yet this whole "man gives a woman expensive jewellery to get engaged" seems a very sexist ritual/practice.

I would imagine any women on here who do care about the cost, won't comment on it here as they'll then have to justify WHY it matters.
I'd also say that people who are reading this are likely to be of similar personalities / mindsets, hence why you get many women here saying they don't care about the cost.

I know a guy who was told what engagement ring to buy (tiffany's, no less) before he proposed. They were together less than a year by the time they got engaged. Though he's fairly materialistic himself so probably wouldn't see the craziness behind that....

Korat

If you know someone well enough to marry them you'll know enough about their tastes to exceed their wishes, I think.

retro:electro

My engagement ring was about €300 and it's not even a typical engagement ring. It's vintage (probably second hand) and has a ruby stone in the middle with diamonds surrounding it and the ring is real gold. I honest to God think there's nothing more daft than spending thousands on a ring. We won't be spending thousands on a wedding either because we are going away just the two of us and will come back married. I don't even know when yet. Maybe next year sometime.

Agricola

As previous poster said, it's a great indicator of what her priorities really are and if she has enough about her herself to realize that an obscenely expensive piece of jewelry is no measure of future commitment, the worth of the man or the happiness of the marriage. IMO, if she fails the engagement ring test, it's time to be running away, quite quickly.

Bambi985

RacoonQueen wrote: »

I would imagine any women on here who do care about the cost, won't comment on it here as they'll then have to justify WHY it matters.
I'd also say that people who are reading this are likely to be of similar personalities / mindsets, hence why you get many women here saying they don't care about the cost.

Yeah I was thinking the same thing. These threads tend to attract a certain kind of poster with a particular mindset and the "what a materialistic b1tch...I got my ring in the pound shop, love is all that matters" types of responses will prevent any woman who DOES care about the price from responding at all.

Anecdotally I see an awful lot of sparkly diamonds about the place that I'd hazard a guess cost a lot more than what you'll get down the store in Argos, wouldn't ever ask the question though as it's none of my business. If you can afford it and if you know she'd love it, then why the hell not treat the woman you love when she'll hopefully be wearing it to the end of her days anyway. Some people view it as an investment piece, an indicator of status or just simply want to be wowed every time they look down at their own hands...and nothing wrong with that in my opinion. It's (again, hopefully) the only engagement ring you'll ever be buying and she'll ever be wearing.