"Why I did not report my rapist"

Cupcake_Crisis

It's a bit tricky though isn't it. Yeah, he should have backed off when she first said no, but there's been many a time when a partner has made a move that I've said no to but quickly given in.

She mentions that she DECIDED that it would be easier to just give in, which insinuates that a conscious choice to have sex, even if it was for the wrong reasons, it's a choice she made.

Wibbs

jameorahiely wrote: »

Another Irish blogger jumping on the bandwagon

Big shock.

"A group of my friends were discussing this topic last week and it started with the statement “How many times have you actually been raped if you think about it.”"

That right there is the thinking of a mind made up zealot on the matter, or a thundering moron.

Wibbs

mzungu wrote: »

Did you read any of the contributions to the thread? There was oodles of contributions from both sides.

Nope, in such cases - and not just on the subject at hand, but any hardliner position - the feelz are often standing in the way.

professore

I re-read the article. She talks about how she didn't want to hurt his feelings, because she didn't fancy him but liked him a lot. Yet she strung him along. Then she said he asked her if she wanted him to leave, and this was proof he knew he'd raped her.

Or maybe the guy was completely confused by her mixed signals and how she didn't want to talk and cuddle afterwards? Are there women like this? I've been with my fair share in my time and never met a woman yet who couldn't express herself in no uncertain terms about their desire or lack of it.

cursai

Never even happened! Don't be fools.

Calhoun

Wibbs wrote: »

Big shock.

"A group of my friends were discussing this topic last week and it started with the statement “How many times have you actually been raped if you think about it.”"

That right there is the thinking of a mind made up zealot on the matter, or a thundering moron.

The clique nature of these articles are brilliant, I remember a certain lady who featured in an article in the IT last year after she was punched on a night out. I believe she was a friend of a certain well known feminist columnist and basically the content of the article was used to promote the consent classes.

Wibbs

Shelga wrote: »

The biggest irony is that we are now all proponents of 'rape culture', simply by disagreeing that she was raped, based on her own account of events.

The reality is, the vast vast majority of those who disagree, myself included, think rape is a horrific and despicable crime that should be severely punished with hard prison time, and blogs like Rosemary's dilute that. The message that rape is vile and disgusting, gets lost amongst all the white noise, amongst all the understandable emotion.

The problem is that Rosemary refuses to acknowledge that people GENUINELY do not agree that she was raped, and are in no way attacking her.

I feel like banging my head against a wall.

I hear that. But sadly S, this is the increasing problem with such line drawing. It becomes almost a faith and any dissension is seen as blasphemy and filtered out. And debate withers.

westernlass

[/quote]

Maybe she wants to be like the Trump administration and only allow comments that agree 100% with her?[/quote]

She has control over her own social media platforms and her blog and has admitted she has deleted comments that were negative in case they encourage the same. And she is cherry picking comments on boards where there is a balanced discussion going on to try and get the thread shut down

retro:electro

Wibbs wrote: »

Big shock.

"A group of my friends were discussing this topic last week and it started with the statement “How many times have you actually been raped if you think about it.”"

That right there is the thinking of a mind made up zealot on the matter, or a thundering moron.

If people have to think about have they ever been raped before, then fcuk me people are thicker than I thought.

mzungu

buried wrote: »

This new buzzword title of online 'social influencer' really concerns me. That's a real dark authoritarian label and title to willfully place on yourself and also be proud of. Anybody who has placed this kind of ridiculous title on themselves should do themselves a massive favour by learning the history of other entities and people who thought they could be great 'social influencer's too, because 9 times out of 10 that influence ends up in war, death, genocide and it starts by creating some bull$hit story in order to divide everyone else

Ah jaysus, lets not go overboard. :pac::pac:

I think "social influencer" just means she can reach consumers on behalf of a company. I doubt we are looking at the beginnings of a new Stalinist purge or anything!!

One eyed Jack

professore wrote: »

I re-read the article. She talks about how she didn't want to hurt his feelings, because she didn't fancy him but liked him a lot. Yet she strung him along. Then she said he asked her if she wanted him to leave, and this was proof he knew he'd raped her.

Or maybe the guy was completely confused by her mixed signals and how she didn't want to talk and cuddle afterwards? Are there women like this? I've been with my fair share in my time and never met a woman yet who couldn't express herself in no uncertain terms about their desire or lack of it.

There are, loads of them, and the thing is, there are plenty of guys like she described in the article too, and there have been plenty of incidents like she described. That's what makes what she described so bloody plausible, and at the same time so full of the necessary elements that would cause divisive opinions. It's true she may well run no advertisements on her blog, but these types of wind-up manufactured controversy articles haven't done LON's career any harm.

qo2cj1dsne8y4k

anna080 wrote: »

If people have to think about have they ever been raped before, then fcuk me people are thicker than I thought.

I think it's very offensive

buried

mzungu wrote: »

Ah jaysus, lets not go overboard. :pac::pac:

I think "social influencer" just means she can reach consumers on behalf of a company. I doubt we are looking at the beginnings of a new Stalinist purge or anything!!

So she is advertising a company? Whats the name of the company she's working for? Because all I see her creating is $hitstirring online stories designed to cause division and conflict, what kind of company seeks that noise?

Mountainsandh

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I think it's very offensive

It's horrible.

mzungu

buried wrote: »

So she is advertising a company? Whats the name of the company she's working for? Because all I see her creating is $hitstirring online stories designed to cause division and conflict, what kind of company seeks that noise?

I have no idea of the answers to any of the above as I have no clue about the business interests of the person in question. I don't even know if there is much money involved, it is quite possible there is zilch to be made. I was just outlining my understanding of what being a "social influencer" entails.

Shelga

I do not think a woman needs to have screamed 'no!' at the top of her voice in order for rape to have occurred.

I do not believe a woman needs to have been beaten or bear any bruises for rape to have occurred.

I am not disagreeing with you because you don't fit my version of a 'typical' rape victim.

I am disagreeing with you, and strongly, because you were not raped.

Tigger

Wibbs wrote: »

OK.

*irony bypass filter engaged* You do realise that that could be applied to her, right?

Loving the collective "you" being applied here. One eejit proposed a poll and then thought more on his/her choice and deleted it. She named herself BTW. That's her thing. Not just hers either. And where is the name calling? Which means not a lot. A person fires up an opinion on a public platform. This will mean said public will have their own opinions, some of which will be dissent. Especially on such an emotive topic. How this comes as a surprise to anyone is odd.

Eh.. she "dragged" herself into it. You seem to be oddly blinkered on this salient point. Sure, no harm like. No worries if someone is accused in absentia of a major crime. Be grand. Funny that. People are having the conversation and agreeing and disagreeing with each other. #whodathunkit What atomic powered nonsense is that? Serious question.

Who said she's "fair game"? Musta missed that post. Yep her name, her choices and she chose to forego anonymity. That would be kinda missing the point of such a blog.

#ironyoverload.

wibbs is our leader##

he's not really we don't have a leader we are individual people

RabbleRouser2k

Help!!!! wrote: »

In America Feminists are trying to say its rape if a woman has sex & later regrets it.
So you meet said woman in a pub/club etc she comes on to you & asks you to take her home to have sex. Next morning you look over shes not the hottie you thought the night before so you give her the brush off ( chewing off own arm is optional ) She gets with mates later crying about what a bastard you are, during the conversation the consensual sex you had is now " RAPE " . Now your life is ended while shes free to go out & do the same " mistake " again. By the same example can I say I was raped?? I've had sex multiple times that I've regretted but you just get on with it & try to learn from your mistakes
I'm glad I'm married & I dont need to go through any of this hopefully again but the world is so fcuked now. Theres are too many people being told how to feel, need safe spaces, its someone elses fault.
If Meatloaf was to write " Paradise By The Dashboard Light " now it would be called a rape song, where in the real world its the " game " between a man & a woman.

Careful-we had LoN decrying 'baby, it's cold outside-I really can't stay' as a date rape song.

Ya know, the whole 'game' aspect of it-ie, she's playing hard to get, he knows she is, and is thus trying to convince her to stay 'a while'.
The only date rape aspect of the song was when South Park parodied it.

Mountainsandh

Tigger wrote: »

wibbs is our leader##

he's not really we don't have a leader we are individual people

https://adragonseerie.files.wordpress.com/2015/02/627478-monty-python-life-of-brian.jpg


"Yes, we're all individual people !"
But he is, a bit.

meeeeh

LexieOnRale wrote: »

I think it's very offensive

So for example which one is more offensive? A girl who was so drunk that can't remember did she consented or was she raped? A wife that didn't even realize husband can rape. After all it wasn't even recognized in law up till relatively recently. So which one is more offensive, who is dumber? Or deprived children who are often too young to even realize what is happening to them. People with intellectual disabilities. Does that go under 'thick' as your friend so eloquently putted?

RabbleRouser2k

https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/835583807935905792

Some people need to learn how to internet-I've been using it since I was 12, I guess I've got thicker skin than I imagine.

https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/835583807935905792

She's getting the usual nonsense from folks like Tara Flynn.

Calhoun

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/835583807935905792

Some people need to learn how to internet-I've been using it since I was 12, I guess I've got thicker skin than I imagine.

https://twitter.com/RosemaryMacCabe/status/835583807935905792

She's getting the usual nonsense from folks like Tara Flynn.

BING BING BING and there we have it folks we have all the hallmarks of the imported american liberal, the final act shutting down debate we dont like. Although RMC was apart of the debate it morphed and evolved into a wider discussion on consent, personal responsibility and political agendas.

I wonder if she would be so quick to shut it down if it was universal agreement.

RabbleRouser2k

mzungu wrote: »

Ah now, I don't agree there. One can't measure consent with regards to how loud the "no" was. It was said three times. Whether it is a whisper or an ear drum shattering screech, once you hear it that means stop.


"Rape culture" is a load of hysterical nonsense, however it has nothing to do with this case. Looking at the information we have to go on (and I am aware we only have one side) the man in question was asked to stop but continued on regardless.

Well, normally I would agree, on the no, but even on her twitter feed she's all like 'So I just lay there rather than cause a fuss'...

Like, no, just absolutely no. I have known people who gladly, and rightfully, kick up a storm when someone is being an absolute jerkwad. Plus her statement about that, on her feed-I mean...these feminists are actually teaching women ALL the wrong things-about everything.

I remember, a number of years ago, reading doctor's statements about women who would come into hospitals claiming their drink had been spiked (keep in mind most date rape drugs can be detected within 24/48 hours) They had turned up within the 24 bracket margin, so any and all tests would have found something.
Well, as you can imagine, what the hospitals found was an almost toxic level of alcohol-the ladies drinks weren't spiked, they had drunk far too much alcohol.
But if we were to listen to the likes of McCabe, LoN, and UoM, their word is all the evidence we need-no to science and actual drug tests.
Thus it would feed their 'rape culture myth'.

meeeeh

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Well, normally I would agree, on the no, but even on her twitter feed she's all like 'So I just lay there rather than cause a fuss'...

Like, no, just absolutely no. I have known people who gladly, and rightfully, kick up a storm when someone is being an absolute jerkwad. Plus her statement about that, on her feed-I mean...these feminists are actually teaching women ALL the wrong things-about everything.

I remember, a number of years ago, reading doctor's statements about women who would come into hospitals claiming their drink had been spiked (keep in mind most date rape drugs can be detected within 24/48 hours) They had turned up within the 24 bracket margin, so any and all tests would have found something.
Well, as you can imagine, what the hospitals found was an almost toxic level of alcohol-the ladies drinks weren't spiked, they had drunk far too much alcohol.
But if we were to listen to the likes of McCabe, LoN, and UoM, their word is all the evidence we need-no to science and actual drug tests.
Thus it would feed their 'rape culture myth'.

Do you realize that when someone is too drunk to consent it's rape? So if someone had toxic amount of alcohol in their blood surely any decent person wouldn't have sex with them. Even if you think it's not a rape, would you have sex with them rather than make sure they don't suffer alcohol poisoning?

RabbleRouser2k

Calhoun wrote: »

BING BING BING and there we have it folks we have all the hallmarks of the imported american liberal, the final act shutting down debate we dont like. Although RMC was apart of the debate it morphed and evolved into a wider discussion on consent, personal responsibility and political agendas.

I wonder if she would be so quick to shut it down if it was universal agreement.

Yep, and it's highly interesting to me how they are so closed minded to free speech, yet not when it conforms to their agenda.

Bill Maher is an American comic who is pretty liberal and champions free speech, even if he does often get a ton of bile for it. (And he has said some things that I do disagree with).
But one of the things he states is that yes, you should be able to say something, and yes someone should be able to challenge you for it-but the moment you say 'you can't say that' is the moment he finds himself bothered-it's far different to be all like 'dude, that's nonsense' to 'dude, you're not allowed say that'.

RMC and others want to shut down discussion, not create it.

Calhoun

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Yep, and it's highly interesting to me how they are so closed minded to free speech, yet not when it conforms to their agenda.

Bill Maher is an American comic who is pretty liberal and champions free speech, even if he does often get a ton of bile for it. (And he has said some things that I do disagree with).
But one of the things he states is that yes, you should be able to say something, and yes someone should be able to challenge you for it-but the moment you say 'you can't say that' is the moment he finds himself bothered-it's far different to be all like 'dude, that's nonsense' to 'dude, you're not allowed say that'.

RMC and others want to shut down discussion, not create it.

Indeed quite the echo chamber built up around her the responses are all the usual im so sorry that you would expect. Some attack after hours itself and boards.

Yet not one of them would come and have a read of the discussion as its much easier to rally behind a victim looking for attention.

RabbleRouser2k

meeeeh wrote: »

Do you realize that when someone is too drunk to consent it's rape? So if someone had toxic amount of alcohol in their blood surely any decent person wouldn't have sex with them. Even if you think it's not a rape, would you have sex with them rather than make sure they don't suffer alcohol poisoning?

Nobody had sex with them-that's the thing. Nobody. They had blacked out, from the alcohol, not a date rape drug. So they were trying to report a crime (having their drink being spiked) but there was no claim.
So when they were claiming they were drugged, they were not.

I never said it was not a rape-far from it. I never even mentioned a rape occurring.

Calhoun wrote: »

Indeed quite the echo chamber built up around her the responses are all the usual im so sorry that you would expect. Some attack after hours itself and boards.

Yet not one of them would come and have a read of the discussion as its much easier to rally behind a victim looking for attention.

A few have, quite a few, and they are saying 'you're just nitpicking, there are a few saying some not nice things, but nothing character assassination related'. Others pointing out that it's discussion, not a denouncing. A hilarious one is 'get someone else to read over it rather than you, so soften the blow'...total BS.

meeeeh

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

Nobody had sex with them-that's the thing. Nobody. They had blacked out, from the alcohol, not a date rape drug. So they were trying to report a crime (having their drink being spiked) but there was no claim.
So when they were claiming they were drugged, they were not.

I never said it was not a rape-far from it. I never even mentioned a rape.

Sorry I misunderstood you. I heard something similar but it was in contest of girls testing for date rape drugs when they realized who they slept with. I did see the original source. Anyway in no way I am claiming that every drunken shag that you regret next morning is rape but I do know someone who ended being totally drunk (and very vulnerable at the time because of something completely separate) and this happened to her. She went to police and it didn't go any further, because it would be impossible to prove.

MuffinTop86

After 68 pages "dissecting my character" is she not willing to rethink her stance on it being rape? It serms her views on rose gold vs bronze are stronger.
I've unfollowed her on all platforms. She's quite pathetic. An extra session with doctor therapy might be in order.

retro:electro

My friend (who is a girl) told me she posted on her Facebook saying she disagreed it was rape and RMC has hidden her comment, another girl has questioned Rosemary on twitter asking why is her comment hidden from the FB discussion. She seems to be hiding comments from women who are not supporting her but doesn't mind leaving the ones who are left by men. She's manipulating her comments and framing it as a women vs men issue, and as though all women are supporting her and all men are against her, when that's certainly not the case. Dangerous piece of work.

TBH, more women need to call her out on her bs, she's not doing either gender any favours.