"Why I did not report my rapist"

RabbleRouser2k

anna080 wrote: »

My friend (who is a girl) told me she posted on her Facebook saying she disagreed it was rape and RMC has hidden her comment, another girl has questioned Rosemary on twitter asking why is her comment hidden. She seems to be hiding comments from women who are not supporting her and leaving the ones who are made by men. She's manipulating her comments and making it out as a women vs men issue, and as though all women are supporting her and all men are against her, when that's certainly not the case. Dangerous piece of work.

I don't think she can hide comments on twitter-but she certainly can be all like 'attack these people-they are trolls'.
Facebook tho-yeah, that's the scummy thing people do.

It enforces their 'narrative'.

RabbleRouser2k

meeeeh wrote: »

Sorry I misunderstood you. I heard something similar but it was in contest of girls testing for date rape drugs when they realized who they slept with. I did see the original source. Anyway in no way I am claiming that every drunken shag that you regret next morning is rape but I do know someone who ended being totally drunk (and very vulnerable at the time because of something completely separate) and this happened to her. She went to police and it didn't go any further, because it would be impossible to prove.

Meh-it's cool, it happens. You're human, to err is human.

...I mean, BURN THE HERETIC-TWITTER FOLLOWERS, AVENGE ME!!!!

retro:electro

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

I don't think she can hide comments on twitter-but she certainly can be all like 'attack these people-they are trolls'.
Facebook tho-yeah, that's the scummy thing people do.

It enforces their 'narrative'.

I mean someone on twitter asked her why she has hidden her comment from the Facebook discussion!

RabbleRouser2k

anna080 wrote: »

I mean someone on twitter asked her why she has hidden her comment from the Facebook discussion!

Aw, sorry, my bad...

Did she block them?

J Mysterio

I feel like this has probably run its course. All the salient points have been made.

As stupid as this girl has been, it's the internet, so I wouldnt like to see it get out of hand. I don't think RMC would cope well with sustained scrutiny, despite the fact she invited it upon herself by her very ill-judged actions. Likewise i'm sure that the guy (potential group of guys) in question would like to see this die a death as quick as possible.

Hopefully yer wan will have learned a valuable lesson from this and the discussion will have been instructive for some.

tomwaterford

MuffinTop86 wrote: »

I've unfollowed her on all platforms. She's quite pathetic. An extra session with doctor therapy might be in order.

The horror of it :pac: :pac:


Though in reality is it any different to her blocking people withe differing views to her?

J Mysterio

J Mysterio wrote: »

I feel like this has probably run its course...

I think when people pretend to be outraged by someone choosing what appears on their Facebook page, calling it "dangerous" and "scummy", it's passed into the ridiculous. I mean, imagine someone only allowing things they like on their Facebook, sure we all know it's supposed to be a window to the soul...

suicide_circus

Deleted User wrote: »

I think when people pretend to be outraged by someone choosing what appears on their Facebook page, calling it "dangerous" and "scummy", it's passed into the ridiculous. I mean, imagine someone only allowing things they like on their Facebook, sure we all know it's supposed to be a window to the soul...

If she's holding herself up as a paragon of bravery, truth and social change it does rather chip away at her credibility when she is found to be manipulating her feedback preferring an echo chamber to massage her ego. Although admittedly not in the least surprising.

JackTaylorFan

Why did I not... turn off notifications for this thread?

Sorry, just finishing my own thought

suicide_circus

suicide_circus wrote: »

If she's holding herself up as a paragon of bravery, truth and social change...

Is she?

A person claiming they were raped is holding themselves out as a paragon of virtue? And thus is obliged to retain critical comments on their Facebook page? New one on me...and sounds like utter nonsense tbh. The thread is going waaaay into the ridiculous now.

suicide_circus

She calls herself a "social influencer". If she wants to influence she needs to engage with criticism and defend her position if she wishes to be taken seriously.

suicide_circus

suicide_circus wrote: »

She calls herself a "social influencer". If she wants to influence she needs to engage with criticism and defend her position if she wishes to be taken seriously.

There's a lot of self styled public/influential figures on Facebook who wouldn't leave criticism last too long on their page. That's the nature of Facebook, it's their page, there is no rule or requirement that they must accept criticism or else it's just not cricket.

suicide_circus

Yeah that's fair enough. I think trying to take any of these self styled social media echo chamberists of any persuasion seriously is a mistake.

RabbleRouser2k

suicide_circus wrote: »

Yeah that's fair enough. I think trying to take any of these self styled social media echo chamberists of any persuasion seriously is a mistake.

The weird thing is that she wrote the article, yet cannot defend it-then deletes criticism...that's unhealthy.

stefanovich

suicide_circus wrote: »

She calls herself a "social influencer". If she wants to influence she needs to engage with criticism and defend her position if she wishes to be taken seriously.

Professional whiner and manipulator more like.

suicide_circus

Victimhood is currency.

professore

She is free to come on here and give her side of the story, and answer any questions people have. I have followed this thread from the start and see very few unreasonable comments (I would say none, but I haven't read every single post), or anyone supporting rape.

What is here is a spirited debate that has benefited a lot of people including myself - for example the point that a woman might freeze during rape and be unable to say no didn't occur to me before. So in that sense her article has been beneficial.

And rape is always framed as something that happens to women - plenty of boys and men have been raped too - but I can't imagine a guy ever saying he just let his "rapist" get on with it as it was less hassle than telling him to fcuk off.

RabbleRouser2k

http://www.dailyedge.ie/rosemary-maccabe-bikini-selfie-2887629-Jul2016/

Also responsible for this...nothing wrong with wanting people to be body positive...however her instagram is literally just a series of 'adverts' for clothes and other products. (Starts attacking certain commenters too).

It's true what Niamh Horan once said-these folks aren't insulted by criticism, they're 'protecting their brand'. There was a situation where she got into a heated argument with Vogue Williams/ Wilson/ McFadden, and rightly pointed out how When VW calls people trolls or 'body shamers' (as many others do) that she is protecting her 'brand' and not actually upset by a faceless group of individuals.

professore wrote: »

She is free to come on here and give her side of the story, and answer any questions people have. I have followed this thread from the start and see very few unreasonable comments (I would say none, but I haven't read every single post), or anyone supporting rape.

What is here is a spirited debate that has benefited a lot of people including myself - for example the point that a woman might freeze during rape and be unable to say no didn't occur to me before. So in that sense her article has been beneficial..

True, one can freeze up during an assault, as documented here. Please note however, that men can freeze up just as much as women-it's not as if a guy will react any different to women in such a situation.

https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/i-froze-up-when-i-was-sexually-assaulted-and-we-should-stop-dismissing-that-response

https://krishannah.wordpress.com/2012/04/20/freezing-during-rape-is-normal/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/grade-point/wp/2015/06/23/why-many-rape-victims-dont-fight-or-yell/?utm_term=.c080b543f986

Again, as MacCabe notes, how she reacted was much, much different to the stories told in the links. There is a fear, a genuine freezing and total immobility. Even speaking goes out the door. Then her tweet 'I just lay there and didn't want to cause a fuss'...um, no. No, many rape victims will tell you that that was the last thing they wanted to do.
I hate the line 'certain people cry rape cos rape=regret'...but there is a shade of regret/shame(not the usual kind)/ etc etc about her article.

We live in a society where a football players career was practically destroyed because his 'victim' had to google 'was I raped'. And it wasn't until an appeal, where his name was less valuable than goat excrement by then, that he was cleared.
But by then the feminists had attacked him beyond repeal.

skankkuvhima

RabbleRouser2k wrote: »

The weird thing is that she wrote the article, yet cannot defend it-then deletes criticism...that's unhealthy.

You are fake news

Ben Gadot

Penny Tration wrote: »

Ah c'mon now.


I hugely disagree with a lot of the crap RMC posts, but to say men are afraid to approach women because of that kind of crap is simply untrue.

Many men are confident and happy enough to approach women, because they're intelligent enough to realise that the majority of us women aren't new wave, attention seeking feminists. And let's face it, they tend to have a very distinct appearance, so they're easy to avoid.

I don't know, you can be confident, yet I think the more we see people like Rosemary pipe up, the more even the most reasonable man will have to stop and think twice. As others have said, words can be effortlessly dropped, yet they can stick.

Fair play to your man who is with her, he must have the most disarming personality that he didn't get right hooked on the spot.

skankkuvhima

So wait, I'm a bit confused, this rape never happened apparently?

FishOnABike

pointelle wrote: »

Dude, there's a rape awareness advertisement possibly English saw it years ago, it's the same scenario, WEARING DOWN A WOMAN"S RESOLVE to **** her is coercion. In psychological terms the victim enters a state of denial / self protection and basicly loses their autonomy, for "connoisseurs" of sexual deviancy it's known as droit de seigneur. I don't know how Ireland is ever going to be dragged into modernity with the bloody patriarchal dick wielding ****tard mentality so prevalent in this godforsaken arse of a place

When your arguement has multiple errors it makes it difficult to take your arguement seriously.

coercion - https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/coercion The act or practice of persuading someone to do something by using force or threats.

droigt de seigneur - https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/droit_de_seigneur The alleged right of a medieval feudal lord to have sexual intercourse with a vassal's bride on her wedding night.

Shouting in capitals doesn't help either. Saying something louder or repeating it doesn't add to the strength of your arguement or make a falsehood true.

Any opinion argued from vague 'facts' and misinformtion is not persuasive.

RabbleRouser2k

Ben Gadot wrote: »

I don't know, you can be confident, yet I think the more we see people like Rosemary pipe up, the more even the most reasonable man will have to stop and think twice. As others have said, words can be effortlessly dropped, yet they can stick.

Fair play to your man who is with her, he must have the most disarming personality that he didn't get right hooked on the spot.

Generally speaking, many women will actually be grand out. They're not some host of screaming crazy women. I've only encountered a handful of deranged women individuals (3, maybe 4), tbh-one in particular would claim 'strong, independent woman'-then ask any guy for help with everything.
Another would take insult with things said to her-then try and set her boyfriend on you if you said something she didn't like (the boyfriend was literally like 'eh, what am I supposed to do, ffs?-it's nothing to me like').

When you meet them, there is a way to disarm them (like, not literally-you're not gonna get em in a headlock for example)-basically you be confident, you show them your personality (as in honest) and own your mistakes-then challenge an opinion but not in a 'YOU'RE WRONG!!!' but more 'I see where you are coming from, but I disagree, and here's my view'. Case in Point-look how LoN reacted when Tommy Tiernan interviewed her-if he knew who she was, she'd have been putty in her hands. But then that is the whole point of his show. As it was, he disarmed her from the outset-notably the 'who are you?'. He didn't fawn to her, he challenged her.

The guys many of these women are dating are often completely counter to their opinions.

Tramore Tilly

I think people have either lost the plot or are just arguing for the sake of it.

If a woman says no, you stop. You do not carry on in the hope she will change her mind. If she says no again and you do not stop you are crossing a line.

If a person finds themselves in a position where they are being touched, they say no and the other person continues , they are put in a situation where they feel having sex is the safest option. That is rape. It has happened to me. It is not as simple as a one night stand that you regret the morning after. Having sex out of fear is completely different.

If someone says stop or no..you f*cking stop and don't have the arrogance to believe you are a stud muffin who will win her/him over.

Skyfarm

As a male survivor of rape (hate pulling that label out )and a person who was given the weight of my abusers inability to be human, i wish to input my tuppence worth so it might guide

Many years ago i was struggling with life ,drink drugs crime ,marriage breakup it was a direct result of me throwing them back my neck, but the darkness of the past needed to be blocked, i realised that i wanted needed help , if i remember right it was 1999/2000 and approached the rape crisis centre in Cork for help and they smiled as they told me it was only a women service and couldn't help

I am all for people telling their storys to ease the burden of the past
what i disagree with is that men are only "rapists" attuide of 99.99 percent of media, bloggers etc

We are creating more pain and suffering by pushing the truth away , women are abusers as much as men and abuse on the same scale

in relation to the thread and blog , its not thought out, hindsight is a wonderful tool and my guess is the writer got caught up on this mantra of abuse only happens to women.
it is causing more pain and suffering than healing , its deeply troubling that people are triggered by a post to say " i have being raped" when i think about it like that

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/apr/07/sexual-abuse-false-memory-syndrome

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome

its very very dangerous ground for everybody concerned

my heart goes out to the blogger.. not for being hurt or raped , but for the storm of pain it caused

RabbleRouser2k

Tramore Tilly wrote: »

I think people have either lost the plot or are just arguing for the sake of it.

If a woman says no, you stop. You do not carry on in the hope she will change her mind. If she says no again and you do not stop you are crossing a line.

If a person finds themselves in a position where they are being touched, they say no and the other person continues , they are put in a situation where they feel having sex is the safest option. That is rape. It has happened to me. It is not as simple as a one night stand that you regret the morning after. Having sex out of fear is completely different.

If someone says stop or no..you f*cking stop and don't have the arrogance to believe you are a stud muffin who will win her/him over.

I'm very to hear about your assault-that should not have happened, and I am sorry that happened to you, or to anyone.

If a person says no, stop, you know to stop. I would argue even a jerk knows, even if they do the 'you're such a tease' douchebag line. Well, let em say that-but remember it's them that's being a douche. Hell, if I put my hand somewhere and she makes a noise like 'uh, no'-I stop. And I would argue so do many others.

Why would someone have sex and see that as the safest option? I don't get the logic there. I just don't.

Winning someone over I would argue is something completely different-winning someone over is when you are a friend with a girl/ guy and they agree to date you-then decide you're marriage material. A girl saying 'No' is something completely different-one knows a definite 'No' from a 'maybe'.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUwAKhHDXlU

Also, these folks deconstructed a 'consent' video, that very clearly sent the wrong message entirely-the poor guy had to ask a ton of questions, while often the girl just did as she pleased. And the folks critiquing the vid are practically pro-fem themselves. And even they called it illogical.

Little CuChulainn

professore wrote: »

She is free to come on here and give her side of the story, and answer any questions people have.

Let's summarise some of the questions being raised in this thread.

Were you drinking?
Why did you not try and physically resist him?
Why did you not shout so the other people could hear you?
If you slept with him before didn't he have reason to expect it again?
If you kept kissing him after you said no to sex is this not consent to sex?
Why did you stop saying no?
Are you simply looking for attention?
Why do you style your hair like that?

It's like the scumbag lawyers guide to defending a rape case. I'd say there'd be plenty of posters lining up to shake his hand if they could.

RabbleRouser2k

Skyfarm wrote: »

As a male survivor of rape (hate pulling that label out )and a person who was given the weight of my abusers inability to be human, i wish to input my tuppence worth so it might guide

Many years ago i was struggling with life ,drink drugs crime ,marriage breakup it was a direct result of me throwing them back my neck, but the darkness of the past needed to be blocked, i realised that i wanted needed help , if i remember right it was 1999/2000 and approached the rape crisis centre in Cork for help and they smiled as they told me it was only a women service and couldn't help

I am all for people telling their storys to ease the burden of the past
what i disagree with is that men are only "rapists" attuide of 99.99 percent of media, bloggers etc

We are creating more pain and suffering by pushing the truth away , women are abusers as much as men and abuse on the same scale

in relation to the thread and blog , its not thought out, hindsight is a wonderful tool and my guess is the writer got caught up on this mantra of abuse only happens to women.
it is causing more pain and suffering than healing , its deeply troubling that people are triggered by a post to say " i have being raped" when i think about it like that

https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/apr/07/sexual-abuse-false-memory-syndrome

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/False_memory_syndrome

its very very dangerous ground for everybody concerned

my heart goes out to the blogger.. not for being hurt or raped , but for the storm of pain it caused

I'm very sorry to hear that-did you ever get any help for the trauma you suffered?

Penny Tration

Little CuChulainn wrote: »

Let's summarise some of the questions being raised in this thread.

Were you drinking?
Why did you not try and physically resist him?
Why did you not shout so the other people could hear you?
If you slept with him before didn't he have reason to expect it again?
If you kept kissing him after you said no to sex is this not consent to sex?
Why did you stop saying no?
Are you simply looking for attention?
Why do you style your hair like that?

It's like the scumbag lawyers guide to defending a rape case. I'd say there'd be plenty of posters lining up to shake his hand if they could.

The bolded part - that's a very nasty, insulting throw back to that infamous rape case, and totally inappropriate here.


The vast majority here have agreed the man in question was an absolute sleazy prick.


Disagreeing that it was rape doesn't mean we'd be wanting to shake some asshole's hand, and it's insulting to many posters here to suggest that

Little CuChulainn

Penny Tration wrote: »

[/b]


The bolded part - that's a very nasty, insulting throw back to that infamous rape case, and totally inappropriate here.


The vast majority here have agreed the man in question was an absolute sleazy prick.


Disagreeing that it was rape doesn't mean we'd be wanting to shake some asshole's hand, and it's insulting to many posters here to suggest that

Plenty of posters simply resorted to insulting the blogger. It's a despicable tactic to use against someone who believes they were raped, even if they are wrong.