boarding school

ProudDUB

ProudDUB wrote: »

My brother is the exact same. He has a very detached relationship with his 4 sisters. Even his kids find it hard to get him to open up, or admit to much emotion. He is incredibly emotionally self sufficient. His wife blames his boarding school experience for hardening him up. Luckily for their marriage, he opens up to her and they have a very strong relationship, but the rest of us are left out in the cold.

It could just be the way he is. I went to boarding school and have a close and open relationship with my family. He might just be the reticent type.

ProudDUB

Candie wrote: »

It could just be the way he is. I went to boarding school and have a close and open relationship with my family. He might just be the reticent type.

I don't think so. His wife has very strong feelings on the matter. She knows him far better than any of us, so I tend to defer to her opinion. He is quite a reticent person by nature. He was never going to be the outgoing type, no matter what school he was sent to. But boarding school (according to his wife) just seemed to kill off that tiny part of him that was able to be emphathetic towards others. She has never come out and said it, but I think he was so hurt at being sent away from home, that he finds it hard to let people in, as he subconsciously thinks they'll let him down the way that the parents did. In typically 1960's fashion, they didn't exactly explain themselves and their motivations to him, very well at the time.

El_Duderino 09

ProudDUB wrote:

I don't think so. His wife has very strong feelings on the matter. She knows him far better than any of us, so I tend to defer to her opinion. He is quite a reticent person by nature. He was never going to be the outgoing type, no matter what school he was sent to. But boarding school (according to his wife) just seemed to kill off that tiny part of him that was able to be emphathetic towards others. She has never come out and said it, but I think he was so hurt at being sent away from home, that he finds it hard to let people in, as he subconsciously thinks they'll let him down the way that the parents did. In typically 1960's fashion, they didn't exactly explain themselves and their motivations to him, very well at the time.

As above
It suits some people and doesn't suit others. His parents did him no favours by the sound of it.

Cliff Walker

byhookorbycrook wrote: »

Ring? Personally, I'd avoid it.

That's the one, I was just wondering the background of the kids that go there, would it be mostly TDs kids and so on ?

anothernight

I have a few friends who went to British boarding schools. The girls talk about the 'mischief' they got up to. Things like how they would decorate the younger girls' quarters behind their back with fairy lights and stuff like that, to make it all pretty.
The guys talk about how they had their faces shoved into toilets by the older guys.

Of my Irish friends who went to Irish boarding schools, some of them loved it, some hated it, some didn't care. Same distribution as with a normal school, really. I did notice that some of them have colder relationships with their families than I would have expected. One of them in particular admitted that he found it very hard to live with his family after he finished school because he was so unused to being with them for extended periods. He sounded a bit sad about it too.

branie2

A few years ago on Channel 4, there was a tv documentary about 4 young girls during their very first term at boarding school. It was called leaving home at 8

steddyeddy

"Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath

In my opinion the main purpose for which people pay to send their kids to boarding schools is to socially exclude their children from the children of people from low socioeconomic backgrounds. They either come from the kind of background where their ancestors going back typically went to similar schools or else they themselves went to a normal school but they have social-climbing aspirations and want to have their children mixing with the children of socially well-connected people. Instead of saying this though they'll more likely say something like "I want them to get the best education etc" - in reality the leaving cert is a memory test and with the right attitude most kids can perform to the best of their ability without attending a boarding school.

Wigglepuppy

I reckon (not an opinion because it either is the case or isn't) that people send their children to boarding-school for a number of reasons, including ones listed here such as: stability due to the parents travelling for work a lot, living very remotely and not being near a good school (there are bad schools - not all schools are the same), genuinely wanting to give their child a great education and imbue them with valuing same (ideally it would be down to the pupil but realistically it's often down to the school), family history without notions of elitism - just a tradition, and of course, elitism reasons too.

I would say the numbers attending boarding school in Ireland nowadays though are very low.

up for anything

I went to boarding school when I was four and I turned out alright.

JupiterKid

Boarding school suits some kids but not others. When my mother died when I was just turned 15, I was living in Dublin and my Dad was working up in Belfast 5 days a week (long story). I urged my Dad not to send me away to boarding school as some of his friends suggested he do. He honoured my request and I stayed in my day school but basically lived independently at 16 and 17 5 days a week (my older sisters were moved out of the family home) and got through it.

I don't think I would have managed well in boarding school but that's just me. People who have jobs/careers that take them abroad a lot don't have much choice but to put their children into boarding schools. Of course, some schools are much better than others.

I was under the impression that boarding schools today are very, very expensive.

El_Duderino 09

Deleted User wrote:

In my opinion the main purpose for which people pay to send their kids to boarding schools is to socially exclude their children from the children of people from low socioeconomic backgrounds. They either come from the kind of background where their ancestors going back typically went to similar schools or else they themselves went to a normal school but they have social-climbing aspirations and want to have their children mixing with the children of socially well-connected people.

They're all great reasons to send a child to boarding school. But they're not the only reasons or even the main reasons.

steddyeddy

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

They're all great reasons to send a child to boarding school. But they're not the only reasons or even the main reasons.

I think you're joking but it's never a good idea to pay money to segregate your child from less fortunate. It doesn't instill the best attitudes in your child.

steddyeddy

steddyeddy wrote: »

I think you're joking but it's never a good idea to pay money to segregate your child from less fortunate. It doesn't instill the best attitudes in your child.

That's a bizarre and insulting assumption, and that's all it is, an assumption.

I can promise you there's nothing wrong with my attitude, and nothing wrong with the attitudes of most of the decent people I went to school with.

steddyeddy

Candie wrote: »

That's a bizarre and insulting assumption, and that's all it is, an assumption.

I can promise you there's nothing wrong with my attitude, and nothing wrong with the attitudes of most of the decent people I went to school with.

I was responding to a post saying it was a great idea to exclude your kids from kids from low socio-economic backgrounds. There is something very wrong with that attitude.

steddyeddy

steddyeddy wrote: »

I was responding to a post saying it was a great idea to exclude your kids from kids from low socio-economic backgrounds. There is something very wrong with that attitude.

That wasn't what you said.

steddyeddy wrote: »

I think you're joking but it's never a good idea to pay money to segregate your child from less fortunate. It doesn't instill the best attitudes in your child.

I'll take your word for it though.

silverharp

steddyeddy wrote: »

I was responding to a post saying it was a great idea to exclude your kids from kids from low socio-economic backgrounds. There is something very wrong with that attitude.

why? in a city its normal to want to live in a "good area" and send your kids to "good schools" . kid's peers will influence your own kid so you kind of want them to be on the same page, not get beaten up wanting to go to university or some such.

Calahonda52

Cliff Walker wrote: »

Boarding schools have been dropping like flies in recent years but Co Tipperary still seems to have an usually high amount, i wonder why this is ?

As a survivor of the rampant abuse that is associated with boarding schools in Tipp, I wonder do you see the pathos in your wording?

steddyeddy

Candie wrote: »

That wasn't what you said.



I'll take your word for it though.

You don't have to take my word for it.

In my opinion the main purpose for which people pay to send their kids to
boarding schools is to socially exclude their children from the children of
people from low socioeconomic backgrounds.

They're all great reasons to send a child to boarding school. But they're not
the only reasons or even the main reasons.

I think you're joking but it's never a good idea to pay money to segregate
your child from less fortunate. It doesn't instill the best attitudes in your
child.

Again it's my opinion that it is never a good idea to pay money in order to segregate your kids from less fortunate kids. Duderino describes it as a great idea. I don't and I think you would have been better criticising Duderio's post rather than mine.

steddyeddy

silverharp wrote: »

why? in a city its normal to want to live in a "good area" and send your kids to "good schools" . kid's peers will influence your own kid so you kind of want them to be on the same page, not get beaten up wanting to go to university or some such.

I agree you separate those best suited to university from those not suited to university. The problem is when people conflate rich with being suited for university and poor with not being suited. If you segregate school quality based on that assumption then you'll create a situation whereby rich kids will have a better education than relatively poorer kids and the results, lack of opportunity, reinforce your argument that the poor don't want education.

steddyeddy

steddyeddy wrote: »

You don't have to take my word for it.








Again it's my opinion that it is never a good idea to pay money in order to segregate your kids from less fortunate kids. Duderino describes it as a great idea. I don't and I think you would have been better criticising Duderio's post rather than mine.

Except Duderinos post was an obviously tongue-in-cheek reply to Onionbelts bizarre assessment of the reasons people send their kids to boarding school.

steddyeddy

I personally don't think people send their kids to boarding schools in order to get rid of their children. My Grandmother's mother sent her to a boarding school run by French nuns because she was a Francophile and loved the music lessons they had on offer.

steddyeddy

Candie wrote: »

Except Duderinos post was an obviously tongue-in-cheek reply to Onionbelts bizarre assessment of the reasons people send their kids to boarding school.

Hence the "I think you're joking" but it's hard to know because you have posts like:

why? in a city its normal to want to live in a "good area" and send your kids
to "good schools" . kid's peers will influence your own kid so you kind of want
them to be on the same page, not get beaten up wanting to go to university or
some such.

The attitude exists. So I have nothing to distinguish it from a joke.

silverharp

steddyeddy wrote: »

I agree you separate those best suited to university from those not suited to university. The problem is when people conflate rich with being suited for university and poor with not being suited. If you segregate school quality based on that assumption then you'll create a situation whereby rich kids will have a better education than relatively poorer kids and the results, lack of opportunity, reinforce your argument that the poor don't want education.

its broader though its about general expectations, chances of getting into trouble, access to drugs etc. sure you could argue it might be better if the "good" kids in poor areas could be pulled into better schools and maybe something could be done but it doesn't have a bearing on fee paying schools, there aren't that many of them and there are good non fee paying schools that would sort the issue you are talking about.

El_Duderino 09

steddyeddy wrote:

I think you're joking but it's never a good idea to pay money to segregate your child from less fortunate. It doesn't instill the best attitudes in your child.

It was a bit tongue in cheek to match the post I quoted. In more detail it isn't about socioeconomic backgrounds at all. It's all to do with local culture norms and the individuals in the child's peer group.

As I mentioned earlier there are plenty of families who scrimp and save to send their children to boarding school so not all boarders are wealthy.

I think it's normal to want to impose certain values in a child. If their peers' parents and the school's ethos match those values then what's wrong with pursuing that? It's not about creating an apartheid between rich and poor.

You only get one adolescence and it's pretty important to instill the expectations of life that you want your child to grow up with. If the child's peer group in the local area are an obstacle to that, then it's normal to do something about it. Resources permitting then boarding school is one good option.

mynamejeff

I went to a school (as a day student ) that had boarders. It was was mixed male female school run by a religious order

the dorms were fine, small but comfortable enough , own bed room but shared bathrooms.

We ate the same canteen food for lunch and had the same tuck shop for food, only difference was the boarders got breakfast too , toast tea/coffee eggs etc which was all fine. Dinner was grand for them as far as i knew but they were allowed got to the local town for grub too.

The school was very sports centered so the boarders usually benefited from a hour or two of physical training in the excellent facilities every day and as i recall the had to do at least two to three hours study per night.

Most of the boarders were from outside the county and did tend to be a bit high strung compared to the local lads. They integrated well enough though


As for your exclusion of lower socioeconomic groups , there would have been less lads from council estates more due to the fact that were were outside of the local town. But i have discovered that two or three of the boarders did develop serious drugs and crime habits in later life.

Then again so has a few of the day students

JupiterKid

JupiterKid wrote: »

I was under the impression that boarding schools today are very, very expensive.

A lot of people think that, but they're incredibly cheap by international standards. Plenty of British families send their kids to school here, especially if they have an Irish link. The most expensive boarding schools in Ireland are a fraction of the cost of average UK schools.

steddyeddy

El_Duderino 09 wrote: »

It was a bit tongue in cheek to match the post I quoted. In more detail it isn't about socioeconomic backgrounds at all. It's all to do with local culture norms and the individuals in the child's peer group.

As I mentioned earlier there are plenty of families who scrimp and save to send their children to boarding school so not all boarders are wealthy.

I think it's normal to want to impose certain values in a child. If their peers' parents and the school's ethos match those values then what's wrong with pursuing that? It's not about creating an apartheid between rich and poor.

You only get one adolescence and it's pretty important to instill the expectations of life that you want your child to grow up with. If the child's peer group in the local area are an obstacle to that, then it's normal to do something about it. Resources permitting then boarding school is one good option.

I don't think boarders in Ireland come from rich families at all. I could afford to send offspring to a boarding school and I'm far from rich.

Listen it's worth saying again but I make no judgements what so ever on people who send their child to boarding school only that they care deeply about their child's education. I don't think it's to get rid of a child or pawn them off, nor is it evidence of a lack of love towards a child. I would have much rather went to boarding school.

If I mistook your post for something it wasn't then fair enough but there are some people who correlate parental income positively with propensity towards education.

steddyeddy

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

A lot of people think that, but they're incredibly cheap by international standards. Plenty of British families send their kids to school here, especially if they have an Irish link. The most expensive boarding schools in Ireland are a fraction of the cost of average UK schools.

The UK's boarding schools can be astronomical.

steddyeddy

silverharp wrote: »

its broader though its about general expectations, chances of getting into trouble, access to drugs etc. sure you could argue it might be better if the "good" kids in poor areas could be pulled into better schools and maybe something could be done but it doesn't have a bearing on fee paying schools, there aren't that many of them and there are good non fee paying schools that would sort the issue you are talking about.

There's actually a debate about grammar schools going on in the UK at the moment which is another fairer form of selection IMHO. That's the best way to pull good pupils up.