First Dates Ireland *read first post*

DodoDojo

I felt really sorry for that Italian lad, you can tell he is struggling and it was quite awkward. But at the same time I can't help but think fair deuce to him all the same. Even for a really charismatic extrovert with loads of dating experience going on that show would be incredibly nerve wracking.

For someone with social anxiety like that and is not that experienced it actually takes balls of steel to go on which funnily enough makes him an alpha male or whatever yer one wants to call it in my eyes. That takes proper courage to push yourself so far out of your comfort zone. Hope they have him back on with someone better suited.

99nsr125

Still Ill wrote: »

I don't think he was really calling BS on the 'let's be friends' thing, I just think he took her too literally. Most people know that's a euphemism for never seeing each other again, but he was just a bit socially awkward and maybe on the spectrum. I don't think he meant to be mean, but it really made for an awkward end to the date. Really felt for him in the end.

The thing with saying someone is on the spectrum is you only do if you are.

99nsr125

PhilOssophy wrote: »

A bit harsh on Tipp girl if you ask me.
She was nice. Covid had completely screwed up her plans for travelling, etc. I feel for her.
She engaged well with him throughout even though there was clearly no spark, made an effort to pay half, she went first when asked about seeing each other, she said be friends but I think it was lost in translation.
She did everything right in my book.

Actually paying half maybe, how about that

Rothmans

leggo wrote: »

Finding the conversation about the Italian guy/Tipp girl fascinating, you can really get perspective into people based on how they took it.

I don’t get the criticism towards the Tipp girl at all tbh, she’s not obligated to like him and was perfectly polite considering he was a bit socially awkward and started the date saying he wasn’t a kind person. Whether lost in translation or not, that’s a weird thing to say on a date and she did her best to be perfectly friendly and give him a chance from there. As noted, she also paid her way and went first to avoid him being embarrassed (which he would’ve been as he was clearly going to say yes based on the post-date tantrum that looked like he was about to attack his bike).

Comments about the type of lads she’d prefer are totally unfair, baseless and come across as bitter projection from people who seem to relate hard to lads who get overly attached to someone they’ve just met, start to feel sexually entitled, then throw a tantrum like a child who doesn’t get what they want because they don’t have the introspection to deal with rejection.

Totally agree with this. As much as I despise the term, I think we are seeing a bit of the so-called 'incel' mind-set coming out in some here.

She dealt with the situation perfectly . She was polite and as engaging as possible. She did her utmost to preserve his dignity and pride, whereas a lot of other daters on the show previously would have made a fool of him (much to the producers delight).

I think the whole alpha male thing was just her trying, on the spot, to politely articulate why she wasn't interested in him. She could hardly say she didn't want to see him again cos she thinks he's a ****!ng oddball. And if she did, she'd certainly be getting a roasting for her honestly here!

We all know why they didn't click, she just tried to phrase it in a polite, albeit clumsy , way.

leggo

completedit wrote: »

He was too intense but he liked her. Once that happens friendship is a mistake and avoidable if you can help it. They were never going to be friends. Some people are odd and can be friends with everyone; exes, one time dates etc but in general there is no reason for them to stay friends. They met contingent in turning it into another date or a relationship, once that avenue is closed that's the end of the relationship, platonic otherwise.

It doesn't make sense when it comes to First Dates because "better as friends" means the person is fine but not interesting or attractive enough for me to really be bothered .

I think the confusion here is him not being good at picking up social cues. When someone says “I think we’d be better as friends”, they’re not saying “Let’s have slumber parties and play video games”, they’re effectively saying “The category I’m filing you under if you were to be in my life in any way would be ‘friend’ and (crucially) ‘not boyfriend’”.

So they think you’re a nice person who doesn’t deserve to have your feelings hurt but they aren’t romantically attracted to you. It’s rude and presumptuous to say it that bluntly so this is a diplomatic way of putting it. Remember that they are literally asked to pick a stance either way. If they’re not attracted to them (which they can’t control) and said yes, they’d be accused of leading him on. So it’s a can’t-win situation...when the option is right there for lads like him to just grow up and learn how to cope with rejection instead of picking a fight with your bike at a LUAS stop.

freshpopcorn

I’m mainly new to watching this.
When people say No at the end Do they often come out with the line “Lets be friends?”( whether they mean it or not)

Still Ill

99nsr125 wrote: »

The thing with saying someone is on the spectrum is you only do if you are.

Yeah, fair enough.. I couldn't find a better way to verbalise what I meant. Obviously I was just speculating about something that shouldn't be a subject of speculation. No offence meant and point taken. Cheers.

pixelburp

mod: keep it civil, drop the crass comments about people's appearance or vulgar remarks about their proclivities. Cards given, bans from here on in.

If you haven't already, please read the charter

MarkY91

DodoDojo wrote: »

I think that actually says a lot more about you than them and not in a good way.

I don't.

99nsr125

MarkY91 wrote: »

I don't.

You're right mark


There is a difference between decoration and disfigurement.

It's a well known mental illness in relation to plastic surgery. Body Dismorphic Disorder.

DodoDojo

99nsr125 wrote: »

You're right mark


There is a difference between decoration and disfigurement.

It's a well known mental illness in relation to plastic surgery. Body Dismorphic Disorder.

Well known from where? Can you please cite some references to the well known studies that show that tattoos are related to body dysmorphic disorder? I suppose even ancient tribes from thousands of years ago had body dysmorphia too?

How do you feel about people getting braces on their teeth? That’s also changing ones appearance just like plastic surgery right? Do you make judgements about people who had braces? They must have mental illness too then?

DodoDojo

MarkY91 wrote: »

I don't.

Good for you. What other inferences and negative judgments do you automatically make about people based on their appearance?.

MarkY91

DodoDojo wrote: »

Good for you. What other inferences and negative judgments do you automatically make about people based on their appearance?.

People who wear a cap in the gym.

Mr E

Mod: Move on, guys. Back to discussing the show please.

Tchaikovsky

Interesting to see the number of relationships that have developed already out of this season compared to previous seasons. With lockdown providing less options for dates, it seems that people are more willing to see how things might develop with their 'match'.

JP Liz V1

The tattoo guy reminded me of David Thewlis

Sakana

Only watched it tonight. There were no grounds on which to pair the Tipp woman and the Italian, other than schadenfreude.

PhilOssophy

Sakana wrote: »

Only watched it tonight. There were no grounds on which to pair the Tipp woman and the Italian, other than schadenfreude.

Show is built on schadenfreude!

pleh

Sakana wrote: »

Only watched it tonight. There were no grounds on which to pair the Tipp woman and the Italian, other than schadenfreude.

schadenfreude: pleasure derived by someone from another person's misfortune.

His, her or ours

Oops!

I see they have another Tipp person on it tonight....

Purple Mountain

Who's watching?

Rothmans

I hope the postman, Kieran, isn't as much of a knob as he was on the Late Late a few weeks ago.

I'm calling this straight away......postman guy & Carla are going to be a winner.......def 2nd date

AMKC

21 my arse. He is no more 21. 31 or 41 more like. Talk about vain.

robertpatterson

Me dunno why the first fella doesnt know how to pronounce his name
He says it like its Ciaran

drunkmonkey

Mask and a face shield, double points for Mary..

jmlad2020

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I'm calling this straight away......postman guy & Carla are going to be a winner.......def 2nd date

It's obvious isn't it

Alaninwondeand

It seems a lot of guests on FD go on or have come from other RTE shows.

Mary seems like a nice ol dear......74, Fair play & kudos for her

jojofizzio

Is that Mary’s entourage sitting behind her?