Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

laoisgem

An update on today is, my daughter said I looked better today than I did yesterday and the day before. I've been trying to hide the tears but don't know how successful that is. I spend the whole day in bed, asked an older daughter to take her sister out. I know I need to ring my GP so hopefully I can do that tomorrow. I'm just scared, like I said to 2 sisters previously, if they knew how much pain I was in they would let me go.

Gremlinertia

Your kids are more resilient than you think. More in tune than we give them credit for sometimes too. They won't be letting you go..

nothing

Feel like I'm falling down a deep hole that I've not been in for a long time. Been staying up til I can't see straight just to get some peace in my waking hours, usually 4am or so, but sometimes 6 or 7. Then don't want to get up or face the day when I wake it, of course feeding into the cycle. I'm out of some meds and I haven't even called the gp for a script, it's been years since I've let it get that bad. Sleep pattern out of control, most other self care out the window, surviving solely on junk foods, avoiding social interaction, constantly on the verge of tears. And haven't told anyone because I haven't the energy to do the hard work to pull out of it.

Gremlinertia

@nothing Feck, been there, at this point you have one job - the GP, hoping you have a good relationship there?

laoisgem

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119386777#Comment_119386777

Do me a fovour and ring your gp, i'll try to do the same.

nothing

Thanks @Gremlinertia and @laoisgem

I do have a good relationship with my gp, he's a decent sort, as are all the office staff, but I'm not sure I'm ready yet. And I think he's away on holidays this week.

@laois15

Gremlinertia

No harm to give them a buzz anyway, maybe a practice nurse can chat with you until the doc is back

RabbleRouser2k

Cripes. Reading over the last few pages, a lot of what you all said rings so true. I've had the same damn feelings too.

Similar situation to many of you-sleep is erratic. Every 6 or 7 days, I find I feel this sense of 'despair' that just drags me down. Like even wiping my nose is a major task. And I can't get out of bed-no energy. At all.

Much of the time, I worry that it might be 'Long Covid' (Genuinely concerned about that, even had blood tests), as I had the virus before any vaccine, back in 2020. Ever since then, a lot of my M.H. problems have been heightened or worsened. This year, too, on the anniversary of my dog being killed (21st of February) and my body 'remembers', when sometimes I don't. And I can't get out of bed.

apache

About 12 weeks ago my GP sent in a referral for the local public psychiatric services. I have no idea how long I'll be waiting. Does anybody have a rough idea of the time frame? Could it possibly be a year or maybe even years??

I might try and go private but I don't know where to get referred to and my GP is no use and has no idea either.

Gremlinertia

Have your gp follow up with the services monthly. The wait can be many months depending on how the gp has expressed the severity of the issues..

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119390852#Comment_119390852

The letter stated it was urgent but yes it could be a long wait. I will probably go back to my GP in time but he's not very helpful with mental health issues. Also it's impossible these days to change GP. I'm reluctant to go back to him.

Gremlinertia

Get him to send it monthly, as for private, there's a sticky at the top of the forum with useful links including registered counsellors, psychologists etc.

apache

Can't find that sticky anywhere and I searched high and low. I must be missing something.

Gremlinertia

Hang on I'll check it out for you.

Gremlinertia

https://www.iacp.ie/

You've pointed out i need to update a few bits in the stickied threads, my sincere apologies

nothing

Finally rang the gp today, just to sort prescription, receptionist asked how I was, I said not good but just asked for the prescription, when done she told me if I needed to be seen to just let them know. Still not ready for it. But did manage to get outside for a while today.

carzony

My job has agreed to find me something part time. I just have to see what they come up with now.

Meeoow

And the back to work after the weekend anxiety is in full swing here. Dreading it already. How am I supposed to be a productive member of society if I'm already in negative mode for tomorrow?

Gremlinertia

I work very abnormal/anti social hours and even then i can feel the same.. I hope you can ease the tension some way.

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119391632#Comment_119391632

Anybody got any recommendations for psychiatrists or is that allowed? I can't wait any longer on the public waiting list. I am at my wits end. I rang a help line a few days ago and the person told me to have a bath and paint my nails! Like it would be funny if it wasn't so tragic....

Gremlinertia

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421209#Comment_119421209

Talk to gp and local chemist to try get some local referral, it's so hard, sorry I can't help more

laoisgem

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421209#Comment_119421209

I've no advice considering I contacted Pieta House when I was in a bad way and never got a response. That's not to say you shouldn't contact them, maybe phone calls are different than emails. I've been there before and contacted the mental health team that I was assigned to, only to be told to self refer to the psychiatric hospital. In the end my GP was invaluable. Please hang in there and vent as much as you can here.

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421341#Comment_119421341

I have an appointment with my GP for next Monday. I will try and talk to him again but he dosen't know who to send me to apart from the local mental health long waiting list. I even emailed my boss letting her know I was struggling. I think she's on leave because I didn't get a reply. I don't know if I did the right thing. I'm clutching at straws here...

apache

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119421394#Comment_119421394

It's all so confusing. Thank you for your post though.

anais

https://www.boards.ie/discussion/comment/119093043#Comment_119093043

Thanks so much for posting that -so simply written yet resonates so much.

Went to my gp last november-my husband made the appt as i wasn't getting more than 3 hrs sleep a night, heading to work and really not functioning. Crying every morning and just existing

It wasn't my regular Dr and he asked me Qs including if i'd had suicidal thoughts- which i have had. i have songs which go around my head on a loop every night preventing me from sleeping also. He suggested anti ds which I was wary of, after my sister's experiences. He made me promise to come back in two weeks or else I'd end up in hospital. Due to what i now know is anxiety, there was no way I'd go back.

Now I'm in bits.

My family- husband giving out that I'm affecting the kids and the kids saying I'm stressing them out... heading back to work in a few weeks after holidays and just can't face it, having dark thoughts

My very long winded question is.. how do people with anxiety find their behaviour and mood when on medication( I've never tried it, childhood abuse and history of anxiety in my family)

Ive always relied on exercise to get me out of this hole but as I get older (47) I can't get to marathon level fitness anymore and am starting to despair- how do ye deal with finding time/getting that relief each day.

so sorry for the long winded post, but really blown away by how many people on here seem to feel the way I do, i never knew

laoisgem

Sorry to hear you are going through all that, what age are your kids if you don't mind me asking? I know the rental market atm is **** but I've older kids 23 & 19 that have moved out and tbh I don't know myself. People (family) ask me how they are and I say I don't know, it's not that I'm not interested, believe me if theres a problem I would know about it but my anxiety has lessened 100%. I have a better relationship now with them than I did when they lived here. Just offering another perspective.

anais

My guys are a bit younger and just coming into their teenage craic and if not , I'm the nearest target to blame!! They are 16, 13 and 10. Live my life for them but feeling burnt out emotionally

nothing

Hopefully your gp can keep you going until you get a psychiatrist.

I'm still avoiding my own gp, floundering a bit, but not feeling able to do anything except get out of bed (or avoiding going, 8am yesterday I finally went) and eat junk food.

I know rationally that I need to see someone, but there's a huge part of me that just doesn't care to, like it's just not worth the energy to try. Just zoning out with distractions, avoiding almost all social contact. Surviving instead of living.

carzony

Hi all,

Still awaiting my job to get back to me on the exact details of the part time post they have for me.

I've not been entitled to any payment for anywhere since early May so money is getting tight. Which is worrying me slightly but trying not to overthink it or worry about it.

I'd love a new job. I have friends who work delivering for a car parts company but with my anxiety I can't even apply because I find it impossible to travel long distances... Feel soo restricted and angry about that lately.

Hate the thought of the weekend ahead..

Gremlinertia

I'm just about to leave for work now. Not feeling too great about it.. Leaving ill wife at home is worrying too.