Anxiety and depression thread (Please read OP)

One More Toy

How's everyone doing this evening?

VegetaIRL8e

One More Toy wrote: »

How's everyone doing this evening?

Going to throw this one out there today. I'm lonely as hell today. Relationship that was going down the route of proposing next month ended and finished due to an ex being vindictive and jealous. (Should be in personal issues :-) ). Its triggered my anxiety a huge amount as its something that's out of the blue, uncontrolled. It's the uncertainty of what's next, how things will pan out and my own desire to plan. Now everytime I get a text or email i worry what it is.

I'd been doing really well with controlling all the little aspects of things, the little triggers that caused my depression and anxiety, but this feels like something that's too big to handle.

Hows yourself?

Gremlinertia

One More Toy wrote: »

How's everyone doing this evening?

Struggling a bit, pain issues contributing to bad mood and intrusive thoughts but battling away..

How are you doing?

One More Toy

Sorry to hear that grem and veg


I'm not great, appetite has gone completely and lonely until Tuesday

VegetaIRL8e

Well, try to focus on the positive, look forward to Tuesday (I know its easier to say). You have us

lbc2019

Not good, missed today in work.

One More Toy

lbc2019 wrote: »

Not good, missed today in work.

F**k it, don't worry about it, if you weren't fit you weren't fit. There's always tomorrow

Skybirdjb

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Struggling a bit, pain issues contributing to bad mood and intrusive thoughts but battling away..

How are you doing?

Pain is such a trigger isn't it ? I always say if I could get my physical issues sorted my head would be so much better . Sitting with my hot water bottle on my back now and it's roasting

kodaline78

Hi All,

I have been on a high dose of Effexxor for the last number of years. While it has been hugely beneficial in treating my Anxiety and Depression I feel that it has somewhat dulled my senses and affected my motivation and drive in a big way. A real sense of Apathy has set in about importance issues like my finances, accommodation , changing my car its like i put everything on the backburner and it is so ingrained that I see this as being normal. I have never held a job for longer than 18 months and am in my early forties and while i feel that anti depressants took away a lot of the pain and suffering it has affected my drive and motivation. Apologies if this makes no sense. Any advice/ opinions.

BohsCeltic

kodaline78 wrote: »

Hi All,

I have been on a high dose of Effexxor for the last number of years. While it has been hugely beneficial in treating my Anxiety and Depression I feel that it has somewhat dulled my senses and affected my motivation and drive in a big way. A real sense of Apathy has set in about importance issues like my finances, accommodation , changing my car its like i put everything on the backburner and it is so ingrained that I see this as being normal. I have never held a job for longer than 18 months and am in my early forties and while i feel that anti depressants took away a lot of the pain and suffering it has affected my drive and motivation. Apologies if this makes no sense. Any advice/ opinions.

I am the same with motivation. Everything just seems like hard work. I went from being a good diy man at home to just being lazy.
Even going on holiday just feels like a chore where before i could barely sleep at night due to the excitement. That has just seemed to have vanished now.

I've been out sick for over a year now but have been in the company for over 7 years. I know i need to get back working, for financial reason and get back to a normal routine.
My job have been very good to me. But my Doctor said maybe i should change jobs and environment.

My head is melted thinking what to do. I have a job offer abroad but worry about missing family and friends and my dogs but it might help me.

Its a hard thing to think about doing.

One More Toy

Having a hard time today, withdrawing from two drugs and feeling suicidal

Have to fight back these feelings are only temporary

Skybirdjb

One More Toy wrote: »

Having a hard time today, withdrawing from two drugs and feeling suicidal

Have to fight back these feelings are only temporary

Keep fighting omt hope your ok

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

Having a hard time today, withdrawing from two drugs and feeling suicidal

Have to fight back these feelings are only temporary

Hope you are ok. Yes it's only temporary. Keep fighting and remember you are not alone. Take care.

One More Toy

Thanks guys, have weathered the worst of it for now I think. Treated myself to domino's so I had a full belly for the first time in God knows how long

Graces7

One More Toy wrote: »

Thanks guys, have weathered the worst of it for now I think. Treated myself to domino's so I had a full belly for the first time in God knows how long

food is often the best medicine..

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

Thanks guys, have weathered the worst of it for now I think. Treated myself to domino's so I had a full belly for the first time in God knows how long

Good. Especially if drinking too.

I'm going out for a walk now with my dogs and Nephews as i am minding them overnight. Had a nice tuna salad so a bit of energy.

My ex still sending bad messages. Frying my brain so much, frying my brain because i can never understand how someone can be so evil after all the good i done for her.

One More Toy

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Good. Especially if drinking too.

I'm going out for a walk now with my dogs and Nephews as i am minding them overnight. Had a nice tuna salad so a bit of energy.

My ex still sending bad messages. Frying my brain so much, frying my brain because i can never understand how someone can be so evil after all the good i done for her.

How is she still able to get in touch with you?

BohsCeltic

One More Toy wrote: »

How is she still able to get in touch with you?

Using friends phone. But i had my walk with dog and Nephews and my 75 year old Mother haha., Now i am going to get dominoes for my godson. Treat people who care about you.

I have never met such an evil person in my life, and to think all the good i done for her and her family. No respect. Move on and try forget the past.
Hard to do but it has to be done.

One More Toy

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Using friends phone. But i had my walk with dog and Nephews and my 75 year old Mother haha., Now i am going to get dominoes for my godson. Treat people who care about you.

I have never met such an evil person in my life, and to think all the good i done for her and her family. No respect. Move on and try forget the past.
Hard to do but it has to be done.

I know it's a pain in the ass but definitely consider changing phone numbers

banie01

BohsCeltic wrote: »

Using friends phone. But i had my walk with dog and Nephews and my 75 year old Mother haha., Now i am going to get dominoes for my godson. Treat people who care about you.

I have never met such an evil person in my life, and to think all the good i done for her and her family. No respect. Move on and try forget the past.
Hard to do but it has to be done.

You keep focusing on everything you've done for her and her family.
Forget about it, she and they didn't see that as good, they saw you as a soft touch meal ticket.

What you gave as generosity, she and they perceived as weakness to be exploited.

If needs be just block all calls originating from her country for a few weeks to give yourself some headspace.
And this is going to sound harsh, it's not meant to be.
Rather it's meant to be blunt.

Get out of the frame of mind where you feel she or they should reciprocate your generosity, with at least a modicum of civility. They have shown their true colours, they are now living in your head rent free and stealing your happiness...

Fúck that for a game of soldiers, unless you have kids together kill all contact and all avenues of contact at least until you are well established in your recovery.

BohsCeltic

BohsCeltic wrote:

My ex still sending bad messages. Frying my brain so much, frying my brain because i can never understand how someone can be so evil after all the good i done for her.

Awe man. You need to cut her out.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while lads and ladies. Was in a bit of a dark place. Hope everyone has been keeping well.

Skybirdjb

Deleted User wrote: »

Awe man. You need to cut her out.

Sorry I haven't been on in a while lads and ladies. Was in a bit of a dark place. Hope everyone has been keeping well.

Hi dunne nice to hear from you ! Hope your feeling a bit better now ? Had a bad week myself this week but next week is another week

Skybirdjb

Skybirdjb wrote:

Hi dunne nice to hear from you ! Hope your feeling a bit better now ? Had a bad week myself this week but next week is another week

Genuinely one of the worst I've ever had. I've felt so guilty not posting here. It kept coming up on my "your thread" but I felt that I would have brought the whole mood down.

It's crazy but I feel that you guys, that I have never met, are the only people that understand me. And when I **** up, I try to avoid the place because I feel like I've let you guys down.

Just goes to show how important this place is for us.

Thank you all for being there and thank you all for sharing.

In our own little way we are saving each other even though we have all given up on ourselves.

You all mean a lot to me. And thank you.

banie01

Dunne, I don't often post on this thread and when I do my advice sometimes isn't always best received.

That said, you are one of those poster's here who's care and compassion for others even battling your own demon shines through.
I mean you were struggling through a tough patch and avoided posting to save pulling anyone else down...

That's generous to a fault, many here would only love to be able to lend a word of support to you if they could.
To lift you like you have lifted others here.

I hope you are feeling a bit lighter and thanks for your candour.

banie01

banie01 wrote:

I hope you are feeling a bit lighter and thanks for your candour.

Balls. On re-reading my post, it could come across as a big "holier-than-thou" malarkey. But thank you so much for reading it the way it was intended.

We have this guys. There may be no light at the end of the tunnel but so ****ing what? We are all in this tunnel together and let's have a party in it.

We all know how **** this is guys. Our own worst enemy is ourselves. That's why we are so important to each other. We won't tell each other to "cheer up". We just wait until we are ok to be happy again.

And it happens.

And when it does, its glorious.

I feel like ****. I feel worthless. But with the strength of you guys and with each passing day, I feel better capable.

I am not using hyperbole or overstating when I say that if I hadn't found this thread, I wouldn't be alive. I owe you, my wife owes you and my daughter owes you, the fact that I am here.

Thank you guys.

From the bottom of my heart.

banie01

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Balls. On re-reading my post, it could come across as a big "holier-than-thou" malarkey.t.

Not at all

One More Toy

Have to echo the Dunnes sentiments, I don't know where I'd be without you all

BohsCeltic

I'm in tears writing this post. I am stupid. I don't know what to do. I won't hurt myself but i am hurting myself by drinking to cloud out my brain.

It's hurting people that love me too. And that hurts me more.

My brain is still working so i know what i have to do. Get help.

Gremlinertia

Ok you've got some rational thought happening, that's great. Can you try not drink for the rest of the night and seek help in the morning?

BohsCeltic

Gremlinertia wrote: »

Ok you've got some rational thought happening, that's great. Can you try not drink for the rest of the night and seek help in the morning?

I've spoken to my family. I cannot just stop drinking. I will call Doctor tomorrow and think i will need rehab clinic.
I was drinking to forget. But it's not a life to live. That's why i am making this decision, because i want to live.

People might think i am weak but there is something inside me that makes me strong. I'll fight this battle. Anxiety, depression and drinking to mask the pain.

If i stop drinking i know i can win .