etiquette of visiters in someone elses home

thattequilagirl

I have trouble adulting sometimes, so I often forget to bring something when I'm going visiting. I would usually try and make up for this by buying drinks or a meal, and reciprocating when they are in my part of the world.

Buona Fortuna

SAMTALK wrote: »

The come and stay is one thing but not to show gratitude is a different story.
Its just common courtesy to repay the kindness shown. Bunch of flowers/takeaway/voucher.
Wouldnt cost a fraction of a week in a hotel

Yes or they could be repaid in kind:
- a sparks could "fix that other socket for ya"
- plumber "that sinks not draining quite right or I'll just service your boiler"

- failing that if they're both old and unattractive you could give them both a ride to remember *

* possibly shouldn't drink during the day

LeeLooLee

Ar$eholes, pure and simple. What kind of person would stay for a week in someone else's home, eating their food and sleeping in their bed and not even offer to pay for a meal out or a takeaway?

I recently stayed with a friend for a week. He was often out/busy, so I bought all my own meals/drinks, and I still insisted on taking him out for dinner at the end of the week, because he'd done me a massive favour letting me stay at his place and saved me a fortune in accommodation. And I'm flat broke.

Those people sound like users of the worst kind.

SAMTALK

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

Yes or they could be repaid in kind:
- a sparks could "fix that other socket for ya"
- plumber "that sinks not draining quite right or I'll just service your boiler"

- failing that if they're both old and unattractive you could give them both a ride to remember *

* possibly shouldn't drink during the day

On the couch or in the OPs bed?
Think a thank you card would suffice

jmayo

Speedwell wrote: »

For the ever-living sake of f***, some of us Yanks were brought up with manners. I would no more show up empty-handed to someone's house where I was staying the night than I would take the bus there naked. None of my friends would even visit without bringing something (remind me to tell you about my friend in California who helps run a medical marijuana dispensary... she's never visited here though). When I was in college and we were all destitute, we came with a 2-liter bottle of Coke in hand, or a bag of crisps to share. Something.

My husband and I bring his mother a bottle of her favorite booze, stop on the way for a load of groceries, and pay for the heating oil we use. We don't visit much otherwise because we live three hours from his hometown, but if I went to visit cousin Fiona in the next town over, I'd at least meet her for lunch and pay.

No, it is not an excuse for the OP's situation that the snobs might have him over sometime. People like that expect you to pay for the privilege of their company whether it's at your home or theirs.

I smell bullsh** here.

You sir/madam are not a YANK.

You know what "crisps" are.
And you buy "groceries".

I bet you eat chocolate "biscuits" and know what "having the craic" is as well.


Actually was going to ask OP if the family in question are what we often refer to as non nationals (not locals like).
Some foreigners I have met have difficulty understanding things like "rounds", asking people if they want a drink until they say Yes (ala mrs doyle), etc.
Then again some of them could be mean.

Then again they could just be as mean as shyte and wouldn't give you the steam off their p**s.

Speedwell

jmayo wrote: »

I smell bullsh** here.

You sir/madam are not a YANK.

You know what "crisps" are.
And you buy "groceries".

I bet you eat chocolate "biscuits" and know what "having the craic" is as well.

Well, I spent months in Aberdeen for the oil industry, so I'm not completely clueless. I don't have to ask my husband's mother in rural Tyrone to repeat herself more than twice before I understand her. I do say "awesome" and cook on a "stove" and my accent is pure CNN News, lol.

Buona Fortuna

SAMTALK wrote: »

On the couch or in the OPs bed?

I think where matters not so much. In the right circumstances and weather, up against the shed could be very pleasant.

Think a thank you card would suffice

Meh. Lets contrast our two suggested gifts.

In the case of the "Thankyou card" I could still imagine the OP starting a thread on AH. We fed this family for a week. They never bought so much as a pint of milk, but they gave us a card.

Whereas with my suggestion....

SAMTALK

Buona Fortuna wrote: »

I think where matters not so much. In the right circumstances and weather, up against the shed could be very pleasant.

Meh. Lets contrast our two suggested gifts.

In the case of the "Thankyou card" I could still imagine the OP starting a thread on AH. We fed this family for a week. They never bought so much as a pint of milk, but they gave us a card.

Whereas with my suggestion....

Would need photographic evidence of visitors before I could comment further:D