Have you ever urinated somewhere you shouldn't have?

Yakkyda

fatherted1969 wrote: »

I'd be having my doubts whether he was a bigger tit than yourself op. What a absolutely foul thing to do

Fyp. Whoever posted that is a tramp, jesus christ, anyone that would do that to a "friend" deserves to have their teeth kicked in. Fcukin hell...

gormdubhgorm

Years ago at this stage so I feel safe saying it. In that small pool/lake in the middle of UCD. It was late at night, I was living on campus at the time.

Witchie

A guy I fancied came to visit and was camping near the lake in my town for the festival that was on. Anyway ended up a bit drunk and back at his tent and about 5 in morning needed a wee. I got out of tent and headed over to some bushes and squated behind. Was mid flow when could see car lights coming. In my eagerness for him not to catch me pee I forgot that the other side of the bush faced a main street in the town. Some poor fecker saw a witching moon that night.

Another time coming from a football match beered up having beaten bohs (which was a rare feat for poor wee Mons) the bus stopped just off the motorway at ardee for the lads to wiz. I was bursting so went in to a field out of view of the lads and was drunkenly squatting and holding onto the gate for balance. Forgot that I needed the gate and when went to pull my jeans up I let go and fell back into a clump of nettles. Had a sore arse for a few days.

My ex and I were holidaying in San Francisco as friends about a year after splitting up. We were sharing a room that didn't have an en suite. I woke in the middle of the night to see him pee in the sink and that was when I decided we would never get back together.

Saipanne

some random drunk wrote: »

oh please tell

I really can't.

spuddy90

Was on a lads weekend holiday in Amsterdam a good few years back. Had an overload of beer and the local herbs. Around 12 at night on a side street I decided to piss up against a wall. Then all of a shot a police car pulled up, pushed me to the ground and handcuffed me. I was brought straight to the station. I was given a choice...... Pay 75 euro up front or a night in the cell. 75 euro it was.

Sam Kade

I know a man that stayed in a b&b one time, at the breakfast he didn't get on very well with the land lady so the dirty b@stard went back to his room to sh1t in the bed.

MadDog76

A good few years ago myself and a mate were on a night out in town, both of us locked decided to head to a house party which was about 35/40 minutes walk away (probably double that with us being so drunk) so we decided to pull a taxi but couldn't get one (too drunk or taxi's too busy being a Saturday night/Sunday morning) and I badly needed a p*ss!!!
Anyway, I decided to nip down a side street to relieve myself ........... I'm standing there with trousers and pants down to my ankles (subtlety had gone out the window!) when I see a taxi driving up the side street towards me ........... couldn't believe my luck!!!!
I put my hand (my free hand) out to pull the taxi whilst still relieving myself, as I didn't want to miss the opportunity, when my friend shouts at me "Put your f*cking hand down, that's a Garda car!!!" ............ had an interesting conversation with the lads in the "taxi" and never did make it to the house party.

Tom Dunne

Into a pint glass. From which I subsequently had to take a sip to prove it wasn't urine. Not my finest hour.

Waterford, circa 1990. A young Tom Dunne on the prowl, I believe a denim jacket, faded jeans and white runnerboots may have been involved. It was late in the night, the place was packed, myself and a friend had strategically placed ourselves in a corner near enough the bar, with with enough of a view of all the Young Wans, who were, naturally enough, giving us the eye.

During what can be generously described as strategic planning to get laid, I lost track of time and consequently, failed to realise that there was a direct correlation between number of pints I consumed and the remaining capacity of my bladder. Reckoning the trip to the bog would (a) lose us our prime location and (b) take a minimum of 15 minutes round trip, the decision was clear to me - a pint glass was the only option.

My buddy decided he would cover me, so I grabbed an empty Fosters glass (or was it Furstenberg?), either way, it was filling a container habitually filled with piss with piss of another kind.

It was at that point that things started going pear-shaped.

My buddy reckons the bouncers were giving us the eye from a distance. They were certainly chatting and nodding in our direction. I still had the pint glass in my hand - it was clear to me there was only one option to avert a crisis. So I raised the glass to them, took a sip and gave them a wink. They nodded back in acknowledgement and turned away, crisis averted.

It was only later I realised that there was a couple of shady looking characters behind us who were up to no good and that most likely, that's who the bouncers were looking at.

Buona Fortuna

I have but its really so long ago . Haven't been on the lash since ...

There's a bit of a structural problem here though. Everyone tanks up and then departs the scene with full bladders and no other obvious choice.

When we lived in UK there was a scheme to put up temporary urinals (looked a bit like recycling bins) all over the place. Never heard of that here.

https://www.google.ie/search?q=mobile+urinals+in+london&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwj7-K2v7bLJAhUHtBoKHZfyAjwQsAQIKw&biw=2144&bih=998&dpr=0.9#imgrc=qIEyMeb3ixb2UM%3A

Deep Six

I've lost count of places I've used when drunk - through a letter box, in a wardrobe, in to a clothes rack in dunnes, over a double bed with 2 people asleep in it.

Heroditas

Was out many years ago with some mates and one of them said I could sleep on his sofa for the night. Anyway most of the night was a disgracefully drunken blur until I ended up in the mate's apartment block and fast asleep on the sofa.
Woke up and badly needed a pee so went behind the couch against the wall and went back to sleep.
Woke up very early in the morning and remembering what I had done, legged it guiltily and avoided him for a week.
Eventually we caught up and he said where did you end up that night?
"Um back in your place?"
"Eh no you didn't. You disappeared and we were all wondering where you went"

It then slowly came back to me. I'd headed back to his apartment block and some good Samaritan let me into their apartment to stay the night after I claimed I'd lost my keys. And that was how I repaid him.
Motto!!!

Optimalprimerib

There is no freer feeling than pissing in the open air in a wilderness somewhere. i love it.

On the grounds of a church in Belfast. Chose a Catholic one because it seemed less risky if caught given that I'm a southern Catholic.

Just gagging for a p*ss at the time and it seemed the least worst option.

Clampdown

As a teenager I worked at a video store and after I quit the boss started messing me about and not giving me my last paycheck. He always opened the store on Sunday morning because no one else would work that shift, and the first thing he would do was empty out the big cabinet which held all the VHS tapes returned through the mail slot type thingy at the front of the store. I peed in the slot on Saturday night. On two consecutive weekends. Then I skipped one weekend to lull him into a false sense of security. Then I did it again. The store was conveniently located near a popular spot for underage drinking, which helped the cause.

I eventually got my paycheck and my reign of terror ceased.

Saipanne

My friend was at a party and he pissed on a radiator. Imagine the smell when it switched on...

Clampdown

One year at Christmas my auntie and uncle brought me and my siblings some gifts. The wrapping paper was damp, but it hadn't been raining or snowing (we weren't in Ireland). My mum told us it was from the melted ice and snow from the North pole. Years later found out my uncle had gotten drunk, and in a half sleep stupor he pissed into their walk in closet which contained all the pressies.

In high school my friends would go to this guys apartment and he would buy them beer and pay them to pee on him while he lay in the bathtub. They asked me did I want to go one time but at that age I used to get stage fright if there was someone just using the urinal next to mine so I figured I was unsuitable for this line of work. When I had to buy college textbooks a year later I deeply regretted missing out on that gold mine (pun intended.)

Mesrine65

I pissed on Strongbow's tomb (Richard de Clare, 2nd Earl of Pembroke) in Christchurch Cathedral when I was a young man

Hammer89

B.A._Baracus wrote: »

I think anyone who has ever drank in Dublin city centre has taken a piss up a lane way at some point.

Poor Elaine.

Saipanne

Mesrine65 wrote: »

I pissed on Strongbow's tomb (Richard de Clare, 2nd Earl of Pembroke) in Christchurch Cathedral when I was a young man

Ok, that's the worst.

Hammer89

Mesrine65 wrote: »

I pissed on Strongbow's tomb (Richard de Clare, 2nd Earl of Pembroke) in Christchurch Cathedral when I was a young man

Were you drinking Strongbow at the time? I pissed on a druid whilst drinking, well, you know.

FortySeven

Mesrine65 wrote: »

I pissed on Strongbow's tomb (Richard de Clare, 2nd Earl of Pembroke) in Christchurch Cathedral when I was a young man

Thatchers grave and Tony Blairs if I outlive him are future ambitions of mine.

Ficheall

This thread is making me a little jealous. Damn paruresis.

pablo128

FortySeven wrote: »

Thatchers grave and Tony Blairs if I outlive him are future ambitions of mine.

You've got me thinking now. Was Ian Paisley buried or cremated?:pac:

FortySeven

pablo128 wrote: »

You've got me thinking now. Was Ian Paisley buried or cremated?:pac:

I think they stuffed him and display him at the ferry terminal to ward off ISIS.

sligojoek

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=96898048&postcount=199

I posted this in Weirdest things your housemate has done

Back in the late 80s I Worked for a friend of my father's in a pub in England. One of the perks was a big room on the 3rd storey of one of his houses. I had to share this room with my bosses younger brother. We'll call him davey. He deserves a thread all to himself.
Anyway, An old friend of Davey's arrived from San Fran and was thinking of hanging around for a few weeks before he went home to Ireland. Davey asked me was it OK for his mate to kip in a sleeping bag on our floor . No problem.

He turned out to be a complete nutter. He'd come in pissed every night , lie on the bed and say "Boy, am I pissed?" in an american accent every 30 seconds. At weekends he used to play The Pogues "And the Band Played Waltzing matilda" over and over.

There was a sink in the bedroom for shaving, brushing teeth etc. One night after a session he got up and went to the ground floor for a piss. There was someone else in the toillet so he said he'd run back up to the room and piss in the sink. Howver he lost count of the stairs and ran into Big Patsy's room turned and started pissing. Instead of pissing into the sink he pissed into the cot of a 6 month old baby. I can still hear the slaps he got.

Even if that never happened, he was getting the door the following day anyway. Before he came home from the pub he tried touching up the wife of the landlord (of the pub and his bedroom).

The Masculinist

An old school friend once urinated on the back seat of an empty cinema when we were in 6th class!

I once pissed in a friend's front garden while I was drunk and bursting. Another friend who witnessed it gave me a god telling off!

ArielAtom

Does in the shower count? Thats me!!!

A couple of incidents from lads I know.

1. Pissed in his mothers bedside locker when 19 and out of his bin on the gargle.

2. A mate pissed out the window of his bedroom on to have his missus scream at him "what was he doing" Q him wiping his lad in the curtain!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RayM

At school, I was always too shy to put my hand up and ask if I could go to the toilet, so I developed a very impressive capacity for water-retention. As a result, I've never needed to pee anywhere I shouldn't have.

Medusa22

RayM wrote: »

At school, I was always too shy to put my hand up and ask if I could go to the toilet, so I developed a very impressive capacity for water-retention. As a result, I've never needed to pee anywhere I shouldn't have.

I was always worried about getting into trouble for asking if I could go to the loo in school (I had a nasty substitute teacher in first class who used to give out sometimes if you went to the loo too often) and I was too afraid to ask. Ended up standing up begging if I could go to the loo because I was so desperate to pee, and pissed myself in the classroom while I was running off to the toilet, I was seven and I was mortified. I was given a spare pare of PE tracksuit pants with a hole in them to walk home in

Azalea

My friend - honestly my friend! - pissed on a bus-seat. No reason other than being unable to hold on until the bus stopped.