Have you ever urinated somewhere you shouldn't have?

some random drunk

Well have you? Possibly while drunk? What were the consequences? Did you get in trouble?

* A lad I used to work with was a messy drunk. Told me once how he was thrown out of a certain establishment in Dublin city centre for pissing into a plant pot. As he was being thrown out he suddenly remembered he'd been thrown out the previous week for doing the exact same thing.

* A girl I know was on a hen party in Liverpool. Apparently the queue for the toilets was too long, so she squatted down and went in a corner near the dance floor. Didn't go down too well with the bouncers.

* As a teenager, I was coming back from a late night at a friend's 18th. Walking along the road to my house I can't hold it in any longer. I dash into a dark garden belonging to a house that can't be seen from the road. All's well until mid flow a security light comes on and lights up the whole place. I panic and stumble backwards over a tree stump as my jeans slip to my ankles. Suddenly there's a face at the window looking at me lying on their lawn with my lad in my hand. I got up and ran. Was passing the house a few days later and they were having big electric security gates installed...

So good folks of After Hours, I'm sure you have some similar stories to share, so let's hear them

blueser

In my pants.

some random drunk

blueser wrote: »

In my pants.

As a child or as an adult?

Armchair Andy

Onto an electric fence wire over 30 years ago. The nether regions still tingle at the thought of that pain!!

Kovu

Apt username OP

CyclopsDeluxe

Who hasn't?

I used to go through a phase where I was quite proud of managing big puddles on the road just to watch people avoiding them.

Turtyturd

The toilet seat.

davo10

Out one night when I was a student, an aquaintance of one of my friends joined us, he was a complete tit and insulted the girlfriend of one of my friends, when he went to the loo I pissed in his pint.

Senna

In a hollow just behind a tee box at golf, mid stream 4 lady golfers just appeared in front of me, just yards away. Tried to turn around quickly and peed all over myself.

pablo128

Twas a bitterly cold April night, back in '83. So cold in fact, that I, as an 8 yr old in a house with no central heating, didn't particularly look forward to the walk to the bathroom. Then, the realisation dawned on me. We would be moving to a brand new house the very next day.

So I hopped out of bed and had a piss in behind a chest of drawers in the bedroom!:D

FortySeven

Woke up once when I was young with no recollection of the extremely drunken night before, was late for work so got dressed in a hurry and threw my tie in my pocket. Went to put it on when I got to work and noticed it was wet. Figured I had spilled my drink on it. Spent the whole day serving food to people in the restaurant with a nagging idea that there was a reek of piss following me around. When I got home after my shift I noticed my locker was soaked and the carpet around it was wet. It stank of piss and my tie had been on it. I must have thought it was a toilet in my drunkeness the night before.

I bought a new tie.

Once took a piss up a tree, literally. I'd had 7 tabs of acid and a few bottles of md20 20. Thought I was standing but was actually lying on my back. I got laughed at for weeks for that one.

jamesbere

In the corner of a nightclub dancefloor, I was polluted drunk and for some god knows reason taught the dancefloor was a urinal. I was subsequently thrown out and rightly so. I didn't hear the end of that ever again

Saipanne

Yes...

Lights On

In a girls mouth after she had finished me off, I didn't even know I was doing it until she started screaming at me. The drink is an awful thing

jamesbere

Lights On wrote: »

In a girls mouth after she had finished me off, I didn't even know I was doing it until she started screaming at me. The drink is an awful thing

Haha that's brilliant, she got some land

KungPao

It's always a hairy moment when you're piddling away in a lane or behind a bush...thinking you are clever and no one can see you...til you see a big river of piss streaming between your legs out onto a footpath. Cover blown. Bonus points for when it's zero degrees and the piss is steaming like a volcanic lake in Iceland.

Or you find a nice quiet spot, get going, and suddenly hear voices getting closer and closer.

But hey, sometimes you just have to go - like all the other animals.

some random drunk

Saipanne wrote: »

Yes...

oh please tell

In a plastic jug in the back of a car. My dad was driving the family to a ferry crossing in Portsmouth during a bank holiday weekend, and he didn't allow for traffic and we were gridlocked for about three hours in several lanes of traffic. I held on as long as I could. I still remember the relief. I was only about four.

Ah, the old fashioned glamour of family holidays in the early 90's.

MilesMorales1

Just the other day, I got off the luas. Needed to piss so bad, it was consuming, I knew either I'd take a piss in the next 5 minutes or piss myself (I'd needed to go for like an hour but I'd held on) and there was no toilet anywhere near this luas stop, so I pissed into some bushes by the side of the road

Turtyturd

I'd also say half of Dublin have pissed in the lane way that runs between Abbey St. and Eden Quay.

questionmark?

A young lad I was, in Limerick on a lads night out in some place blind drunk and the toilet was clearly at the end of a maze that could not be cracked. Ended up somewhere up stairs in this establishment that potentially was the staff quarters, I remember the red carpet well. I couldn't even find my way out of this place I wandered into and said **** it QM? Piss you need, Piss you must so started lashing away. Just as I was zipping up a lady of the night walked out the door that I had chosen to piss against ruining her carpet. She had a look of shock on her face, I asked her the way out. I left known two things, the red carpet was a darker shade almost a wine colour, the second only go to places that don't have the toilets at the end of a ****ing maze.

Candie

Candie wrote: »

In a plastic jug in the back of a car. My dad was driving the family to a ferry crossing in Portsmouth during a bank holiday weekend, and he didn't allow for traffic and we were gridlocked for about three hours in several lanes of traffic. I held on as long as I could. I still remember the relief. I was only about four.

Ah, the old fashioned glamour of family holidays in the early 90's.

Where did you get a jug from?!!

Wacker The Attacker

Yes. Bed.

Deleted User

Deleted User wrote: »

Where did you get a jug from?!!

Where the jug came from and most - importantly- where the jug went, are lost in the mists of time.

I still remember the mixture of humiliation and relief!

Wacker The Attacker

Turtyturd wrote: »

I'd also say half of Dublin have pissed in the lane way that runs between Abbey St. and Eden Quay.

Pissing is only the start of what goes on up that lane.

Lights On

jamesbere wrote: »

Haha that's brilliant, she got some land

I got the bigger land when I got a slap in the face after it :pac:

jamesbere

Lights On wrote: »

I got the bigger land when I got a slap in the face after it :pac:

Did you see her again

AmboMan

Got caught short before, took my croc off filled it and poured it out the bus window!

DopeTech

jamesbere wrote: »

Did you see her again

If he did she's a keeper!

Medusa22

I don't think I've peed anywhere particularly strange. When I used to go underage drinking in a field or bushes as a teenager I'd have to have a wander off every once in a while for a wee, and sometimes I'd squat down to pee and I'd be so drunk I'd end up peeing all over my jeans, it was 50/50 whether this would happen so I eventually refused to piss outside and always insisted on finding a toilet somewhere.

Medusa22

Just found this...be careful OP, you might get drenched...

http://www.independent.ie/world-news/europe/the-walls-pee-back-german-train-station-tackles-people-who-urinate-in-public-34240381.html