Wanker watch: Warning signs that someone is a tosser

Glen_Quagmire

Inconsiderate **** who talk in the cinema and kick the back of your chair.

Inconsiderate people who let their kids run amok in public places.

Inconsiderate neighbours who let their **** of a dog bark and run around the house stomping like a heard of buffalo.

Inconsiderate people (****) full stop.

The Sun King

Any one that, when in a public place, raises their voice higher than that required for a personal conversation.

No loud cackling.
No shouted conversation across the road.
No whistling to get someone attention.
Etc etc..

bottlebrush

The Sun King wrote: »

Any one that, when in a public place, raises their voice higher than that required for a personal conversation.

No loud cackling.
No shouted conversation across the road.
No whistling to get someone attention.
Etc etc..

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch and we moved at high speed to a different table after the first course to get away from such a tosser as he carried out a very loud personal conversation with his 5 year old son as if he was at home in his own kitchen. Regularly come across these tossers in supermarkets as well as they discuss out loudly what the children can or can't have.

OldNotWIse

bottlebrush wrote: »

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch and we moved at high speed to a different table after the first course to get away from such a tosser as he carried out a very loud personal conversation with his 5 year old son as if he was at home in his own kitchen. Regularly come across these tossers in supermarkets as well as they discuss out loudly what the children can or can't have.

I find sometimes people like this are actually well aware of the noise they are making and who is listening and that's exactly why they do it. As if the rest of the world is interested in their bullshít nouveau parenting techniques.

Ash.J.Williams

i nearly used the term "pull the trigger" there albeit slightly takin the pi$$

NufcNavan

Maybe not necessarily a wanker, but you have to be a complete simpleton to 'react' to a news story or a status on Facebook with an emotion.

Brendan Bendar

NufcNavan wrote: »

Maybe not necessarily a wanker, but you have to be a complete simpleton to 'react' to a news story or a status on Facebook with an emotion.

What kind of emotion?

Thundercats Ho

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

What kind of emotion?

Emoticon?
Did you reply with an emoticon or a smilie? what's the difference?

Testament1

People who constantly post gym mirror selfies and videos of themselves lifting weights to Facebook and Instagram. I'm all for people trying to improve their health and fitness but the above behaviour just smacks of being a narcissistic c*nt. Thank christ for the 'unfollow' button!

NufcNavan

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

What kind of emotion?

When someone clicks 'angry' and that stupid ':mad:' emoticon appears beside a story about something that's usually unrelated to their day to day life.

Brendan Bendar

NufcNavan wrote: »

When someone clicks 'angry' and that stupid ':mad:' emoticon appears beside a story about something that's usually unrelated to their day to day life.

Uuuh ....emoticon, right.

Thanks lad.

bigpink

Facebook or online accounts in the irish spelling of name

ToddyDoody

Is wanker a male-only term?

Kev W

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Is wanker a male-only term?

Of course not.

ToddyDoody

Kev W wrote: »

Of course not.

Never heard someone refer to a lady as a wanker, must listen out

lapua20grain

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Never heard someone refer to a lady as a wanker, must listen out

i think the term is wankess

Brendan Bendar

ToddyDoody wrote: »

Never heard someone refer to a lady as a wanker, must listen out

Gusset typist, I believe is the word.

The_Valeyard

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Gusset typist, I believe is the word.

Prefer fanny tickler myself.

Brendan Bendar

The_Valeyard wrote: »

Prefer fanny tickler myself.

Bean flicker is appropriate too, more of a universal appeal.

Your offering might have a problem in the US ?

The Sun King

lapua20grain wrote: »

i think the term is wankess

Wankness Markievicz.

wetlandsboy

droidman123 wrote: »

Freezing this morning coming back from the shop,I seen a guy wearing a heavy anorak with the hood up.......and a pair of shorts!!! The wankiest of ****!

Bonus points if he's displaying his leg tattoos.

Brendan Bendar

wetlandsboy wrote: »

Bonus points if he's displaying his leg tattoos.

Bonus + if wearing black socks.

Gandalph

Probably been mentioned before but sunglasses inside...because it's always sunny in doucheville.

Stonedpilot

Man buns and wearing sunglasses indoors are dead giveaways.

tony 2 tone

Brendan Bendar wrote: »

Bonus + if wearing black socks.

Double extra bonus if wearing no socks *Shudder*

pgj2015

bottlebrush wrote: »

Yesterday I met a friend for lunch and we moved at high speed to a different table after the first course to get away from such a tosser as he carried out a very loud personal conversation with his 5 year old son as if he was at home in his own kitchen. Regularly come across these tossers in supermarkets as well as they discuss out loudly what the children can or can't have.

I will raise you = A parent doing this in lidl, but using Irish, look at me everyone I don't allow my kids sweets and I can speak fluent Irish.

Pinch Flat

Guy, early 30s driving a Mini Cooper. Wearing a sleeveless padded gilet (probably some wankerish brand like Gant or Tommy Hilfiger), scarf and sipping from a Starbucks coffee cup while stuck in traffic. A classic wanker.

valoren

lapua20grain wrote: »

i think the term is wankess

Schlicker

OldNotWIse

pgj2015 wrote: »

[/B]


I will raise you = A parent doing this in lidl, but using Irish, look at me everyone I don't allow my kids sweets and I can speak fluent Irish.

I hope the little fúcks grow up thoroughly average :mad:

DEFTLEFTHAND

OldNotWIse wrote: »

I hope the little fúcks grow up thoroughly average :mad:

Or notorious international drug traffickers.