Meeting a total let-down

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

Have you ever felt totally let-down by meeting someone you looked up to, even to the point of questioning your own beliefs?

Or worse, have you been disappointed by a hero?

cloud493

JK Rowling was super disappointing to meet, mainly cos she was really rude and dismissive. I mean I'm sure lots of HP fans were gushing to her as well, but still.

syklops

cloud493 wrote: »

JK Rowling was super disappointing to meet, mainly cos she was really rude and dismissive. I mean I'm sure lots of HP fans were gushing to her as well, but still.

A bit more context please.

cloud493

syklops wrote: »

A bit more context please.

This girl I know knows JK Rowling, and she (my friend) asked her if I could meet her (Rowling) cos I was a big fan and what not, and she said ok. When we met, she spent the time looking at her phone and was as I said, rude and dismissive*



*not that she owes me anything or I'm entitled to anything from her, but come on. Don't be a dick.

nokia69

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears

he said the same about you

who to believe

uch

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

Have you ever felt totally let-down by meeting someone you looked up to, even to the point of questioning your own beliefs?

Or worse, have you been disappointed by a hero?

Should've stuck yer pinkie in his eye

Sh1tbag OToole

I reckon JK Rowling only likes her AGA

anncoates

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

syklops

anncoates wrote: »

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

Top story in tomorrows Irish Mirrow: "anncoates looked tired but confident as she exited the 46a bus on Nassau Street. On lookers noted she had clearly put on 2 pounds since last being seen in public on Friday coming out of McDonalds on Grafton street. A close friend is quoted as saying "This is a time when ann needs our support".

Imagine living your life like that?

I wouldn't allow a chance encounter with any celebrity to put me off them for good. I met Johnny Vegas at Dublin Airport once. It was around 3am and both he and I were a bit hungover, and/or still a bit drunk but annoyed having to be awake at that time. I wonder which of us was grumpier. I'm not going to hold it to him though.

Wacker The Attacker

People are a disappointment in general

anncoates

Just thought too that perhaps with people like entertainers and politicians, there's a chance that those people are somewhat predisposed to attention seeking and public validation whereas authors are probably far more likely to be more modest types suddenly placed under the glare of publicity, especially writers with unexpected gargantuan sales like Rowling.

dinneenp

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

People are a disappointment in general

From Nick Cave:
People just ain't no good
I think that's welll understood
You can see it everywhere you look
People just ain't no good

endacl

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

People are a disappointment in general

I'm not. I'm bleedin' deadly, so I am.

blatantrereg

Went to signings by a couple of writers (novels and comics) when I was in my teens and I seemed to make them uncomfortable or annoyed or something. Don't know why. Made me think they were tools though.

Spent too long online-chatting to a woman from a dating site before meeting her (long time ago). Inflated expectations, very awkward, surprising lack of chemistry in real life.

BMJD

I met "Big" Phil Hogan at a function type thing, he was surprisingly pleasant, I was kinda hoping he would be an obnoxious arsehole so I could knock him the fúck out and be a national hero. So in a way, it was a let down.

colossus-x

I saw Jimmy White in a snooker hall in Brixton south London. As I was bringing the snooker balls back to the bar where Jimmy was standing having a drink, I dropped a couple of balls on the floor accidentally. Fell off the tray. Prolly cause I was star struck. Jimmy says out loud to the barman something like - is that guy drunk or what and then makes eye-contact with me with a dead pan look. I was mortified. Thinking of it later I though he was being a bit of C*** to embarrass me like that.

Sh1tbag OToole

BMJD wrote: »

I met "Big" Phil Hogan at a function type thing, he was surprisingly pleasant, I was kinda hoping he would be an obnoxious arsehole so I could knock him the fúck out and be a national hero. So in a way, it was a let down.

Did he give any clues as to why he is such an arsehole when he is doing politicking?

Ficheall

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

I am disappointed by A Tyrant Named Miltiades! after reading that post.

Savage Tyrant

Met Alex Higgins 3 times.... 3 times he was an arséhole... On one occasion he was asked to leave the pub we were in and then threw a full whiskey bottle through the window from the outside back in. Could have seriously hurt somebody.

Yawns

^^ Had the pleasure of pissing him off in a pub one day. He didn't want to go to his hotel room to get money for bookies so asked me for a score from the til to run down with. I refused so he pulled the whole "I'm Alex Higgens ffs". I just kept a straight face and said "Sorry, I don't watch football" before going to the other bar to break my bollix laughing at the rage etched onto his face.

DuckHook

Was told a story about a mutual friend how doesn't have a clue about sports being down in Kilkenny, all the lads were in a pub and got talking to dj Carey and the non sports guy asks him "do you dj in a club in Kilkenny?" Apparently dj Carey kinda looked at him before realizing he wasn't being a smartarse and was sound about it while another of the lads nearly wet himself.

Chain Smoker

I met this one person I damn near worshiped after an event they were involved with and it was great, answered a few questions I really wanted answered and humoured me being all giddy for a bit and whatnot.
A year or so later, I wound up going to another thing they were involved with, afterwards they were doing signings and stuff so I was like "may as well go over again!" Without all the stress of making an ass out of myself I saw them as a regular person who just happens to have a bit of an odd job and it was kind of disappointing.
Third time I had a chance to meet them (under much less formal circumstances) I saw no point and didn't bother; kind of regretted continuing to check out their work with them there in person after the first time, despite it mostly being very good.

So yeah, never meet your heroes twice, the novelty alone can carry the first time though.

duffman13

DuckHook wrote: »

Was told a story about a mutual friend how doesn't have a clue about sports being down in Kilkenny, all the lads were in a pub and got talking to dj Carey and the non sports guy asks him "do you dj in a club in Kilkenny?" Apparently dj Carey kinda looked at him before realizing he wasn't being a smartarse and was sound about it while another of the lads nearly wet himself.

Seen Dj Carey randomly one day in the outskirts of Dublin. Not a huge GAA fan but recognised him and said hello. He was waiting for someone so jumped out of the car and started having a chat with me and two of the lads. Think we spoke for about 10 mins him just telling a few funny stories.

Packie Bonner was a massive disappointment but most sports stars are celebrities I've meet where really sound. Kenneth Egan was another clown on the two occasions I've meet him.

Poor Uncle Tom

endacl wrote: »

I'm not. I'm bleedin' deadly, so I am.

...reminds me of a girl who worked in the Arlington, she was working with a big hangover and I asked her how she was able to do it, she just said "..'cos I'm amazing, me..." but not is a sarky way.

you had to be there, but it was funny....

Car99

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

...reminds me of a girl who worked in the Arlington, she was working with a big hangover and I asked her how she was able to do it, she just said "..'cos I'm amazing, me..." but not is a sarky way.

you had to be there, but it was funny....

Nice answer, I like it.

BunkMoreland

Why would anyone seek or request to meet someone they don't actually know like JK Rowling?

Seems kind of deluded to expect anything from them. They don't care about you.

cloud493

BunkMoreland wrote: »

Why would anyone seek or request to meet someone they don't actually know like JK Rowling?

Seems kind of deluded to expect anything from them. They don't care about you.

Because she wrote my favourite book series of all time? And as I said before, I know I'm not entitled to anything from her or to expect anything, but thats not an excuse for being rude.

beks101

anncoates wrote: »

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

I think if I was worth one billion dollars solely because people like the OP invested in my books, I could find it in me to not be an arsehole and make someone who thought I was great feel about two inches tall at an orchestrated meeting that I knew I'd be attending. This doesn't sound like some impromptu situation where JK was put on the spot, like.

I'd fcuking hate to be stalked and scrutinized and glared at to the extent that people in the public eye are, it'd be my worst nightmare and lord knows I can be a moody bastard at the best of times. But I don't think a smile and a bit of pleasant chat would be beyond me if someone or maybe countless people approached me to say hello and tell me I was great and I made their childhood, specifically when said people are the reason I own forty houses and my kids' kids' kids will never need to worry about money.

I used to work in TV so I've met a rake of famous people. For the most part they're all grand, smile and shake your hand and give you their game face. It's the people around them that can be royal cnuts, I guess it's good strategy to pay someone else to do your dirty work whilst you come off smelling like roses.

cloud493

cloud493 wrote: »

This girl I know knows JK Rowling, and she (my friend) asked her if I could meet her (Rowling) cos I was a big fan and what not, and she said ok. When we met, she spent the time looking at her phone and was as I said, rude and dismissive*

*not that she owes me anything or I'm entitled to anything from her, but come on. Don't be a dick.

Never read Harry Potter, but loved Alice in Wonderland...and Lewis Carroll was a dirty pervert who photoed pre pubescent kids.

The need to believe that people are nice is interesting. I have written elsewhere of the Ed Sheeran thing, guy goes on Late Late Toy Show cos he has to flog 200,000 tickets, Facebook lights up with "Ed was nice, and to an Irish kid too".

The Backwards Man

Yawns wrote: »

^^ Had the pleasure of pissing him off in a pub one day. He didn't want to go to his hotel room to get money for bookies so asked me for a score from the til to run down with. I refused so he pulled the whole "I'm Alex Higgens ffs". I just kept a straight face and said "Sorry, I don't watch football" before going to the other bar to break my bollix laughing at the rage etched onto his face.

You'd have been down twenty there.


It's not right taking about the dead, but I know a few publicans who not only could write a book about Alex Higgins, could also show you a book about him.

hullaballoo

I met that guy who played Dr Cox in Scrubs, John McGinley I think his name is... Unsurprisingly, he was very dismissive of everyone around him. Apart from one person who wasn't star-struck, because she didn't really know who he was. He was happy out taking to just her for practically the entire time we were out.

I thought about it afterwards and from the very start of that night, he was at pains to point out that he isn't actually Dr Cox - that's a made-up person and he's nothing like that. He ended up being exactly like that as a result but it must be hard for a person to accept that they'll only ever be recognised for playing an asshole on a popular tv show.

That being the case, it's going to be a massive relief to find someone who can honestly say, "I never watched Scrubs." For him, at least, not the rest of us.

Milly33

It is heartbreaking to realise that these people who you have had on a pedestal for so many years be it friend, celeb whoever they are, are really just full of bs.. Had a very good friend for years who I always admired and it turned out twas all fecking lies upon lies.. eventually came to terms with it but I wouldn't put myself out for them or belief much they say..

some people just think too highly of themselves, everyone does it every now and again but the difference is we realise it and give ourselves a wake up call and some people dont

newmug

hullaballoo wrote: »

I met that guy who played Dr Cox in Scrubs, John McGinley I think his name is...

To me, he'll always be Sgt. O'Neill out of Platoon. Essentially he's the same character.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LqpKJ1wAmYY

Eugene Norman

cloud493 wrote: »

Because she wrote my favourite book series of all time? And as I said before, I know I'm not entitled to anything from her or to expect anything, but thats not an excuse for being rude.

What did you bring though? Her time is worth millions, she could turn up anywhere for huge fees. So a friend asks her to meet a fan. She's got millions of those. She's tired of meeting fans, as anncoates says unlike other famous people who are naturally extroverts and seek the lime light, authors are often introverts.

So this, turning up at all, was a huge favour to her friend. Arguably her friend shouldn't really have asked. Meet a random person.

Then it was kinda up to you to keep the conversation going I think. "I'm your biggest fan" isn't it.

Rowling does clearly have an edge to her, just listening to her speak she's clearly not all sweetness and light, but I understand her slight resentment here.

Meeting authors is not really something I would bother with. I'd bring Lee Mack and David Mitchell to a dinner party before any famous author, even though I rate writing higher than comedy.

Eugene Norman

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Never read Harry Potter, but loved Alice in Wonderland...and Lewis Carroll was a dirty pervert who photoed pre pubescent kids.

The need to believe that people are nice is interesting. I have written elsewhere of the Ed Sheeran thing, guy goes on Late Late Toy Show cos he has to flog 200,000 tickets, Facebook lights up with "Ed was nice, and to an Irish kid too".

Yes. On the other hand you haven't proved that he isn't genuinely nice, just that you are a cynic. I'm sure those tickets were selling anyway.

Cold War Kid

Dunno. I'd be inclined to agree with Beks that you should leave your problems by the wayside when speaking to your fans (essentially customers). It's only being professional. You don't have to be gushing with niceness and gratitude or anything, just non rude.

crushproof

duffman13 wrote: »

Seen Dj Carey randomly one day in the outskirts of Dublin. Not a huge GAA fan but recognised him and said hello. He was waiting for someone so jumped out of the car and started having a chat with me and two of the lads. Think we spoke for about 10 mins him just telling a few funny stories.

Met him on the DART going to an Ireland match one time, as above not a major hurling fan but chatted all the way in, proper gentleman.
Pierce Brosnan is another, had a bit of kick about with him when he was making a movie years ago, top chap!
Actually my mate met Susan Boyle in McDonalds last week, just chilling eating her Big Mac - she had just arrived to Glasgow on the Megabus! Despite her $$$millions she still enjoys the simple life and chatting to anyone.

spankysue

My husband and I met Jimmy Carr a few years ago and I was disappointed that he wasn't a total pr1ck. He's a really friendly nice guy, the cheek of him......

biko

Stop building people up in your head.
Then you don't have to tear them down on social media.

Joe Rogan

crushproof wrote: »

Met him on the DART going to an Ireland match one time, as above not a major hurling fan but chatted all the way in, proper gentleman.
Pierce Brosnan is another, had a bit of kick about with him when he was making a movie years ago, top chap!
Actually my mate met Susan Boyle in McDonalds last week, just chilling eating her Big Mac - she had just arrived to Glasgow on the Megabus! Despite her $$$millions she still enjoys the simple life and chatting to anyone.

I'd say she was going at that Big Mac with a sort of primal, unbridled ferocity.

fatknacker

I'd say being a celebrity these days is a massive pain in the tits with everyone wanting selfies. Before it was just autographs and you don't have to fake smile a thousand times for those.

Nodin

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

Proust and Joyce once met at a dinner. A veritable nuclear explosion of intellect and inspiration, by all accounts.....
http://flavorwire.com/318990/when-marcel-proust-met-james-joyce

Berserker

Sh1tbag OToole wrote: »

Did he give any clues as to why he is such an arsehole when he is doing politicking?

Have met a fair few politicians and they are generally decent people. In power, they have to work within tough constraints, so you are judging them based on that. Phil and most politicians would be delighted to be Father Christmas to all but that rarely happens in political life when you are in power.

Full Marx

I've met Henry Shefflin a number of times in a professional (he works for a bank) and social context and every time he has been a self entitled, obnoxious wanker. I'm not a fan of hurling but you could tell that the fame has gone to his head and he expects to be worshiped. (which he is in Kilkenny) and is not happy when he isn't. Everyone has a bad day, but every time I've met him he has been the same.

Cold War Kid

Any "leftie" politicians I have met were so rude - from Labour (pre coalition) and the Greens. Nicest I met were Noel Dempsey and Mary O'rourke.

mickydoomsux

Full Marx wrote: »

I've met Henry Shefflin a number of times in a professional (he works for a bank) and social context and every time he has been a self entitled, obnoxious wanker. I'm not a fan of hurling but you could tell that the fame has gone to his head and he expects to be worshiped. (which he is in Kilkenny) and is not happy when he isn't. Everyone has a bad day, but every time I've met him he has been the same.

I live close to him and he has been a complete arsehole every time i've encountered him.

Everyone i've spoken to who has met him in a non-hurling capacity has said the exact same.

nullzero

I didn't have any positive feelings turned on their head but rather negative ones reinforced when I was in the company of Twink a number of years ago. I can honestly say I have never met such a self righteous, ignorant and vain person in my life, not to mention her need to be the loudest person in any room she enters. Horrible horrible woman.

Cold War Kid

nullzero wrote: »

I didn't have any positive feelings turned on their head but rather negative ones reinforced when I was in the company of Twink a number of years ago. I can honestly say I have never met such a self righteous, ignorant and vain person in my life, not to mention her need to be the loudest person in any room she enters. Horrible horrible woman.

I'd be shocked if she were any other way tbh.

Nodin

Cold War Kid wrote: »

Any "leftie" politicians I have met were so rude - from Labour (pre coalition).............

Ruari Quinn always comes to mind. Was in his company twice over the period of a few years. Arrogant ignorant sod, and I say that despite many of his views running parallel to mine own.

nullzero

Cold War Kid wrote: »

I'd be shocked if she were any other way tbh.

She's just as bad as you think, with big fvcking bells on.

Nodin

nullzero wrote: »

I didn't have any positive feelings turned on their head but rather negative ones reinforced when I was in the company of Twink a number of years ago. I can honestly say I have never met such a self righteous, ignorant and vain person in my life, not to mention her need to be the loudest person in any room she enters. Horrible horrible woman.

'Ye knew who it was before ye looked" was how one encounter was described to me, and they didn't mean that in a good way.