Meeting a total let-down

16-08-2015 12:54AM #1

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

Have you ever felt totally let-down by meeting someone you looked up to, even to the point of questioning your own beliefs?

Or worse, have you been disappointed by a hero?

cloud493 · 16-08-2015 12:58AM

JK Rowling was super disappointing to meet, mainly cos she was really rude and dismissive. I mean I'm sure lots of HP fans were gushing to her as well, but still.

syklops · 16-08-2015 01:01AM

cloud493 wrote: »

JK Rowling was super disappointing to meet, mainly cos she was really rude and dismissive. I mean I'm sure lots of HP fans were gushing to her as well, but still.

A bit more context please.

cloud493 · 16-08-2015 01:04AM

syklops wrote: »

A bit more context please.

This girl I know knows JK Rowling, and she (my friend) asked her if I could meet her (Rowling) cos I was a big fan and what not, and she said ok. When we met, she spent the time looking at her phone and was as I said, rude and dismissive*

*not that she owes me anything or I'm entitled to anything from her, but come on. Don't be a dick.

nokia69 · 16-08-2015 01:06AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears

he said the same about you

who to believe

uch · 16-08-2015 01:15AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

Have you ever felt totally let-down by meeting someone you looked up to, even to the point of questioning your own beliefs?

Or worse, have you been disappointed by a hero?

Should've stuck yer pinkie in his eye

Sh1tbag OToole · 16-08-2015 01:25AM

I reckon JK Rowling only likes her AGA

anncoates · 16-08-2015 01:25AM

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

syklops · 16-08-2015 01:45AM

anncoates wrote: »

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

Top story in tomorrows Irish Mirrow: "anncoates looked tired but confident as she exited the 46a bus on Nassau Street. On lookers noted she had clearly put on 2 pounds since last being seen in public on Friday coming out of McDonalds on Grafton street. A close friend is quoted as saying "This is a time when ann needs our support".

Imagine living your life like that?

I wouldn't allow a chance encounter with any celebrity to put me off them for good. I met Johnny Vegas at Dublin Airport once. It was around 3am and both he and I were a bit hungover, and/or still a bit drunk but annoyed having to be awake at that time. I wonder which of us was grumpier. I'm not going to hold it to him though.

Wacker The Attacker · 16-08-2015 01:49AM

People are a disappointment in general

anncoates · 16-08-2015 01:49AM

Just thought too that perhaps with people like entertainers and politicians, there's a chance that those people are somewhat predisposed to attention seeking and public validation whereas authors are probably far more likely to be more modest types suddenly placed under the glare of publicity, especially writers with unexpected gargantuan sales like Rowling.

dinneenp · 16-08-2015 01:56AM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

People are a disappointment in general

From Nick Cave:
People just ain't no good
I think that's welll understood
You can see it everywhere you look
People just ain't no good

endacl · 16-08-2015 02:03AM

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

People are a disappointment in general

I'm not. I'm bleedin' deadly, so I am.

blatantrereg · 16-08-2015 02:10AM

Went to signings by a couple of writers (novels and comics) when I was in my teens and I seemed to make them uncomfortable or annoyed or something. Don't know why. Made me think they were tools though.

Spent too long online-chatting to a woman from a dating site before meeting her (long time ago). Inflated expectations, very awkward, surprising lack of chemistry in real life.

BMJD · 16-08-2015 02:21AM

I met "Big" Phil Hogan at a function type thing, he was surprisingly pleasant, I was kinda hoping he would be an obnoxious arsehole so I could knock him the fúck out and be a national hero. So in a way, it was a let down.

colossus-x · 16-08-2015 02:43AM

I saw Jimmy White in a snooker hall in Brixton south London. As I was bringing the snooker balls back to the bar where Jimmy was standing having a drink, I dropped a couple of balls on the floor accidentally. Fell off the tray. Prolly cause I was star struck. Jimmy says out loud to the barman something like - is that guy drunk or what and then makes eye-contact with me with a dead pan look. I was mortified. Thinking of it later I though he was being a bit of C*** to embarrass me like that.

Sh1tbag OToole · 16-08-2015 02:44AM

BMJD wrote: »

I met "Big" Phil Hogan at a function type thing, he was surprisingly pleasant, I was kinda hoping he would be an obnoxious arsehole so I could knock him the fúck out and be a national hero. So in a way, it was a let down.

Did he give any clues as to why he is such an arsehole when he is doing politicking?

Ficheall · 16-08-2015 03:20AM

A Tyrant Named Miltiades! wrote: »

Tonight I went for a group dinner with someone I'd wanted to meet for a long time. Not a celebrity or anything, just an intelligent young guy my friends have been raving about. We DM'd conversations on twitter a few times. He's smart.

It was a devastating disappointment. He was rude and pompous. He was so rude to everyone I spent most of my time apologising for him. I felt so let-down I almost burst into tears. (Thankfully, for everyone, i didn't.)

I am disappointed by A Tyrant Named Miltiades! after reading that post.

Savage Tyrant · 16-08-2015 06:39AM

Met Alex Higgins 3 times.... 3 times he was an arséhole... On one occasion he was asked to leave the pub we were in and then threw a full whiskey bottle through the window from the outside back in. Could have seriously hurt somebody.

Yawns · 16-08-2015 07:10AM

^^ Had the pleasure of pissing him off in a pub one day. He didn't want to go to his hotel room to get money for bookies so asked me for a score from the til to run down with. I refused so he pulled the whole "I'm Alex Higgens ffs". I just kept a straight face and said "Sorry, I don't watch football" before going to the other bar to break my bollix laughing at the rage etched onto his face.

DuckHook · 16-08-2015 07:29AM

Was told a story about a mutual friend how doesn't have a clue about sports being down in Kilkenny, all the lads were in a pub and got talking to dj Carey and the non sports guy asks him "do you dj in a club in Kilkenny?" Apparently dj Carey kinda looked at him before realizing he wasn't being a smartarse and was sound about it while another of the lads nearly wet himself.

Chain Smoker · 16-08-2015 08:34AM

I met this one person I damn near worshiped after an event they were involved with and it was great, answered a few questions I really wanted answered and humoured me being all giddy for a bit and whatnot.
A year or so later, I wound up going to another thing they were involved with, afterwards they were doing signings and stuff so I was like "may as well go over again!" Without all the stress of making an ass out of myself I saw them as a regular person who just happens to have a bit of an odd job and it was kind of disappointing.
Third time I had a chance to meet them (under much less formal circumstances) I saw no point and didn't bother; kind of regretted continuing to check out their work with them there in person after the first time, despite it mostly being very good.

So yeah, never meet your heroes twice, the novelty alone can carry the first time though.

duffman13 · 16-08-2015 08:48AM

DuckHook wrote: »

Was told a story about a mutual friend how doesn't have a clue about sports being down in Kilkenny, all the lads were in a pub and got talking to dj Carey and the non sports guy asks him "do you dj in a club in Kilkenny?" Apparently dj Carey kinda looked at him before realizing he wasn't being a smartarse and was sound about it while another of the lads nearly wet himself.

Seen Dj Carey randomly one day in the outskirts of Dublin. Not a huge GAA fan but recognised him and said hello. He was waiting for someone so jumped out of the car and started having a chat with me and two of the lads. Think we spoke for about 10 mins him just telling a few funny stories.

Packie Bonner was a massive disappointment but most sports stars are celebrities I've meet where really sound. Kenneth Egan was another clown on the two occasions I've meet him.

Poor Uncle Tom · 16-08-2015 08:49AM

endacl wrote: »

I'm not. I'm bleedin' deadly, so I am.

...reminds me of a girl who worked in the Arlington, she was working with a big hangover and I asked her how she was able to do it, she just said "..'cos I'm amazing, me..." but not is a sarky way.

you had to be there, but it was funny....

Car99 · 16-08-2015 08:57AM

Poor Uncle Tom wrote: »

...reminds me of a girl who worked in the Arlington, she was working with a big hangover and I asked her how she was able to do it, she just said "..'cos I'm amazing, me..." but not is a sarky way.

you had to be there, but it was funny....

Nice answer, I like it.

BunkMoreland · 16-08-2015 09:41AM

Why would anyone seek or request to meet someone they don't actually know like JK Rowling?

Seems kind of deluded to expect anything from them. They don't care about you.

cloud493 · 16-08-2015 09:43AM

BunkMoreland wrote: »

Why would anyone seek or request to meet someone they don't actually know like JK Rowling?

Seems kind of deluded to expect anything from them. They don't care about you.

Because she wrote my favourite book series of all time? And as I said before, I know I'm not entitled to anything from her or to expect anything, but thats not an excuse for being rude.

beks101 · 16-08-2015 09:44AM

anncoates wrote: »

Wouldn't ever presume to guess what kind of person somebody like JK Rowling is. Maybe she is just a cnut, but my gut feeling is that for fans, meeting our heroes is a once-off. special event but for the actual object of fandom, i'd imagine it's something that's nearly replicated into horrible infinity, even to the extent that they simply cannot live their life.

Imagine any of us getting doorstepped by gasbaggers at every juncture of our lives by people that want it to be An Experience whereas you are just hungover, going to collect kids, depressed, tired, frssh from a scrap with your partner, etc...

I think if I was worth one billion dollars solely because people like the OP invested in my books, I could find it in me to not be an arsehole and make someone who thought I was great feel about two inches tall at an orchestrated meeting that I knew I'd be attending. This doesn't sound like some impromptu situation where JK was put on the spot, like.

I'd fcuking hate to be stalked and scrutinized and glared at to the extent that people in the public eye are, it'd be my worst nightmare and lord knows I can be a moody bastard at the best of times. But I don't think a smile and a bit of pleasant chat would be beyond me if someone or maybe countless people approached me to say hello and tell me I was great and I made their childhood, specifically when said people are the reason I own forty houses and my kids' kids' kids will never need to worry about money.

I used to work in TV so I've met a rake of famous people. For the most part they're all grand, smile and shake your hand and give you their game face. It's the people around them that can be royal cnuts, I guess it's good strategy to pay someone else to do your dirty work whilst you come off smelling like roses.

16-08-2015 09:48AM

cloud493 wrote: »

This girl I know knows JK Rowling, and she (my friend) asked her if I could meet her (Rowling) cos I was a big fan and what not, and she said ok. When we met, she spent the time looking at her phone and was as I said, rude and dismissive*

*not that she owes me anything or I'm entitled to anything from her, but come on. Don't be a dick.

Never read Harry Potter, but loved Alice in Wonderland...and Lewis Carroll was a dirty pervert who photoed pre pubescent kids.

The need to believe that people are nice is interesting. I have written elsewhere of the Ed Sheeran thing, guy goes on Late Late Toy Show cos he has to flog 200,000 tickets, Facebook lights up with "Ed was nice, and to an Irish kid too".

The Backwards Man · 16-08-2015 10:32AM

Yawns wrote: »

^^ Had the pleasure of pissing him off in a pub one day. He didn't want to go to his hotel room to get money for bookies so asked me for a score from the til to run down with. I refused so he pulled the whole "I'm Alex Higgens ffs". I just kept a straight face and said "Sorry, I don't watch football" before going to the other bar to break my bollix laughing at the rage etched onto his face.

You'd have been down twenty there.

It's not right taking about the dead, but I know a few publicans who not only could write a book about Alex Higgins, could also show you a book about him.

hullaballoo · 16-08-2015 11:23AM

I met that guy who played Dr Cox in Scrubs, John McGinley I think his name is... Unsurprisingly, he was very dismissive of everyone around him. Apart from one person who wasn't star-struck, because she didn't really know who he was. He was happy out taking to just her for practically the entire time we were out.

I thought about it afterwards and from the very start of that night, he was at pains to point out that he isn't actually Dr Cox - that's a made-up person and he's nothing like that. He ended up being exactly like that as a result but it must be hard for a person to accept that they'll only ever be recognised for playing an asshole on a popular tv show.

That being the case, it's going to be a massive relief to find someone who can honestly say, "I never watched Scrubs." For him, at least, not the rest of us.

Meeting a total let-down

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