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when culchies get mixed up...
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Base price wrote: »When I read your post I couldn't stop smiling.
Early eighties I was driving back to NCD in my red escort car from my Uncle's place in Longford at about 3am. I had swapped two BF heifers for two BWH heifers and a female kid goat thrown in for luck.
We put the back seat down to give the calves more room, bedded it and trussed the calves. Simple trussing - tie the two hind legs together with a bit of baler twine, draw them up to the chest and tie a slip knot around the neck. The kid was also trussed but had pride of place on the passenger seat beside me. Before I made it to B'duff both calves had managed to undo the trusses and were standing in the back of the car looking out between the front seats. All was fine until I got to the Dublin side of Virginia (beyond Lakelands, Virginia Transport and the Church) where the road is straight.
There was a serious check point in place with Garda and Army lads with guns on the look out for Don Tidey who had been kidnapped at the time. As I approached the checkpoint I eased off and at the same time tried to slap the two calves on the nose to try and get them to move to the back of the car, not a chance.
When I stopped the feckin kid started to bleat when she saw the light from the Garda's torch shining on the windscreen which in turn started the calves off. The Garda came around to my side, shone the flashlight on me, the two bawling white heads beside me and the kid on the passanger seat and said "I don't want to know, Goodnight and Safe Journey"
I had just got engaged to herself (we'll still to gether
) about this time .
she was working in Dublin.
This was before the M7 west or any by passes
left rathgar about 2.am, was waved on through a check point , came to another check point out side Portlaoise & Guard asked where I was coming from?
Told him after visiting g/f in Dublin, He replied ..You must be in an awful hurry to get away from her, we'll monitoring movements to night & your're the fastest to come through yet.
Told me to slow down a bit and drive on0 -
For all he knew you could have had Don Tidey tied up in the bootBase price wrote: »When I read your post I couldn't stop smiling.
Early eighties I was driving back to NCD in my red escort car from my Uncle's place in Longford at about 3am. I had swapped two BF heifers for two BWH heifers and a female kid goat thrown in for luck.
We put the back seat down to give the calves more room, bedded it and trussed the calves. Simple trussing - tie the two hind legs together with a bit of baler twine, draw them up to the chest and tie a slip knot around the neck. The kid was also trussed but had pride of place on the passenger seat beside me. Before I made it to B'duff both calves had managed to undo the trusses and were standing in the back of the car looking out between the front seats. All was fine until I got to the Dublin side of Virginia (beyond Lakelands, Virginia Transport and the Church) where the road is straight.
There was a serious check point in place with Garda and Army lads with guns on the look out for Don Tidey who had been kidnapped at the time. As I approached the checkpoint I eased off and at the same time tried to slap the two calves on the nose to try and get them to move to the back of the car, not a chance.
When I stopped the feckin kid started to bleat when she saw the light from the Garda's torch shining on the windscreen which in turn started the calves off. The Garda came around to my side, shone the flashlight on me, the two bawling white heads beside me and the kid on the passanger seat and said "I don't want to know, Goodnight and Safe Journey"
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had a bit of a get together with all the family and their partners etc for dinner
anyways all the women were kind of bunched together at one end of the table on about beauty stuff like makeup and all that stuff
one of them asked the other how do you get rid of ''whiteheads'' says she as one of them was a beautician
my auld fella pipes up and says '' ya slaughter them'' 0 -
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When my wife and I went on honeymoon to the canaries the hotel we stayed in had a long dark hallway to our room. A few times we were going or coming from the room the lights were on in the hallway but most of the time it was in darkness. My wife had to get her lighter to see where we were going but we couldn't figure out how the lights were on some of the time. After a few days of burning our fingers with the lighter we saw a big switch outside every door
When we went into the supermarket I had a plastic bag with the sun cream in my hand the woman that owned the shop came over to me and in bad English said lift the bag I was thinking what the fcuk does she want me to lift the bag for she kept repeating it and after a while I clicked as to what she was raving on about, leave the bag 0 -
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As one does on a honeymoonWhen my wife and I went on honeymoon to the canaries the hotel we stayed in had a long dark hallway to our room. A few times we were going or coming from the room the lights were on in the hallway but most of the time it was in darkness. My wife had to get her lighter to see where we were going but we couldn't figure out how the lights were on some of the time. After a few days of burning our fingers with the lighter we saw a big switch outside every door 0 -
First time I visited France was on the back of a Cevam/CEJA (EU Young Farmers programme) in the early 80's to Paris & Bordeaux. I was really going to the Bordeaux region to check out BA stockWent on holiday to France with my wife. Was quite surprised at some of the toilet facilities. I'd never seen a 'squat and drop' before. Also, some of the urinals were on the outside of the public toilets. There were just some small partitions coming out from the wall around the height of your mid-section that you stood into and shielded you while you did the necessary. Seemed all very 'care-free'.
One day walking along a promenade needed some facilities. Saw a longish three-sided building with the side open to the sea missing. The walls and floor were tiled and there were pipes coming down from the ceiling for flushing each urinal... just there were no urinals...presumed you aimed at the tiles and flushed when finished...
Did my business and pushed the button to flush..... and a stream of water went down the back of my shirt from the ceiling ....
Had to walk back through the streets of the town wearing a soaked shirt, feeling as if I was being stared at by everyone and was wearing a sign saying what I'd done.
Everything was going tickety boo until I travelled to the outer regions of Bordeaux and headed into the wild East and booked into a rural village hotel.
The hoteliers were down to earth farming type people. In fact the husband was also the local boucher.
However I had a major problem with the loo. There was an upside down colander type thingie in it. No matter how many times I flushed the toilet, the colander thingie never moved. Totally freaked me out as I felt that I couldn't do a "number 2" for fear of it getting caught in the contraption.
For the best part of two days I held until I got back to Bordeaux. Ahh the relief
To this day I don't know what the hell the upside/down colander was doing in the loo.0 -
A gang of us went to Spain on a youth exchange tour, first day was a trip to a forest park. Lunch was a huge 4' diameter paella cooked on an open fire, rice meat etc. with a Moroccan stirring away. We got served and sat down to eat, one of our lads yelled out 'A rat, a rat' and threw his lunch on the ground, turns out there was rabbit in the paella and he had the misfortune to get the head, with the two bug teeth facing him when he dug in.
If the seat's wet, sit on yer hat, a cool head is better than a wet ar5e.
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Donkeys years ago the sports were on in the parish one farmer that always put himself across as an intelligent man decided to get his fortune told by an old woman at the sports. She was able to tell him his life story from the day he was born, when he came out he told everyone outside that she knows her stuff. It turned out after that the old woman was a near neighbour of his dressed up beyond recognition 0
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