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Going to Prison.

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  • 03-06-2015 8:49pm
    #1
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,409 ✭✭✭✭


    Surely a few ex cons here,so any tips for a novice inmate?
    Do's and dont's of the prison world . I'm assuming beating up the biggest guy on the block will get you tenderised or worse.


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    #2
    Digital Solitude
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭Digital Solitude


    Don't drop the soap


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    #3
    Gmaximum
    Registered Users Posts: 372 ✭✭Gmaximum


    Don't drop the soap


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    #4
    Lucifer MorningStar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,218 ✭✭✭Lucifer MorningStar


    Don't ever smile


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    #5
    Digital Solitude
    Registered Users Posts: 11,397 ✭✭✭✭Digital Solitude


    Gmaximum wrote: »
    Don't drop the soap

    Well that just shows the maturity/originality of AH :D


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    #6
    catallus
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,106 ✭✭✭catallus


    Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »
    Don't ever smile

    But a smile brightens up everyone's day!


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    #7
    scudzilla
    Registered Users Posts: 11,911 ✭✭✭✭scudzilla


    Don't wipe your arse...at all, it'll keep others away


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    #8
    Lucifer MorningStar
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,218 ✭✭✭Lucifer MorningStar


    scudzilla wrote: »
    Don't wipe your arse...at all, it'll keep others away

    In so many ways :pac:


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    #9
    SCOOP 64
    Registered Users Posts: 5,208 ✭✭✭SCOOP 64


    Cant be that bad ,look at it as a bit of a break ,meals made for you ,cloths cleaned,
    watch a bit TV followed by some exercise, bed early, ready for the same the next day.


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    #10
    Into The Blue
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,358 ✭✭✭Into The Blue


    Keep yourself to yourself.
    Never have more than 2 smokes on you. Don't accept favors or lends off anyone.
    Try not to be last out of a room.
    If you see all the prison officers leaving an area at the same time, be on the look out.


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    #11
    kneemos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,409 ✭✭✭✭kneemos


    Into The Blue wrote: »
    Keep yourself to yourself.
    Never have more than 2 smokes on you. Don't accept favors or lends off anyone.
    Try not to be last out of a room.
    If you see all the prison officers leaving an area at the same time, be on the look out.


    This guy knows.


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    #12
    Sheep Lover
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,730 ✭✭✭Sheep Lover


    When another inmate drops the soap - it's party time.


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    #13
    jamesbere
    Registered Users Posts: 5,022 ✭✭✭jamesbere


    Watch prison break, might give you a few idea's


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    #14
    godtabh
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 23,204 Mod ✭✭✭✭godtabh


    There was a thread here years ago about a boardsies experience in prison. I think he went in for assault. Probably 7 or 8 years ago


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    #15
    whatismyname
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,707 ✭✭✭whatismyname


    kneemos wrote: »
    Surely a few ex cons here,so any tips for a novice inmate?
    Do's and dont's of the prison world . I'm assuming beating up the biggest guy on the block will get you tenderised or worse.


    Depends.

    Are you meaning that you're heading here
    > http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=335


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    #16
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    I'd say much depends on the prison.

    Mountjoy might be much tougher than say Cork prison, although there was a stabbing in Cork in recent weeks.

    But no point saying otherwise, even a remand prison like Cork is still a very grim place. I suspect a lot of the "prisons are too soft" brigade have never set foot inside one.


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    #17
    godtabh
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 23,204 Mod ✭✭✭✭godtabh


    This is it.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=302566

    Not sure if he actual went to prison in the end.


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    #18
    seamus
    Registered Users Posts: 68,317 ✭✭✭✭seamus


    godtabh wrote: »
    This is it.

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=302566

    Not sure if he actual went to prison in the end.
    That's the one I was thinking of. The guy did actually come back and talk about it after spending six months inside IIRC. Great thread.


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    #19
    ThinkProgress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    Never been a convict - smart people don't get caught. ;)

    But...

    Develop a skill that's USEFUL in prison.

    This might give you a chance of not being a USEFUL place for people to put their tools! :D


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    #20
    godtabh
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 23,204 Mod ✭✭✭✭godtabh


    seamus wrote: »
    That's the one I was thinking of. The guy did actually come back and talk about it after spending six months inside IIRC. Great thread.

    I assume the thread was in Personal Issues as it isnt coming up in search


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    #21
    HardenendMan
    Registered Users Posts: 583 ✭✭✭HardenendMan


    Do the wardens bookkeeping. You will get some leniency for this.

    Talk to red, he can get you a wee hammer. Put up a poster of a lady that is pleasing on the eye.

    Then every night, slowly chip away at the concrete behind the poster.

    You will eventually reach the sewage pipes. And the smell will nearly kill you. But you will make it. And red will meet up with you and you two can ride eachother sideways on a little crappy boat.

    There's a movie in that story.


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    #22
    Them Thar Hills
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭Them Thar Hills


    Exit the country tonight, don't tell anyone, bring your own soap.


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    #23
    irish coldplayer
    Registered Users Posts: 203 ✭✭irish coldplayer


    learn how to toss salad :eek:


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    #24
    KTR1C
    Closed Accounts Posts: 241 ✭✭KTR1C


    I did a stretch as a guest of the state at one stage, not something you really want to be reminded of.


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    #25
    AM21
    Registered Users Posts: 30 ✭AM21


    godtabh wrote: »
    I assume the thread was in Personal Issues as it isnt coming up in search

    Anyone have a link to his update on what it was like? Original thread before he went in was very interesting.


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    #26
    Ruu
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,622 ✭✭✭Ruu


    Watched a great documentary called the Shawshank Redemption, might have a few tips for you...and

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHjlM5A1jME


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    #27
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    At least "gay for the stay" isn't really as popular in Ireland and UK as it seems to be in USA.


    Never been to prison, and I doubt many who've posted advice ITT have either, so I can't really give any advice unless you want opinions of what characters in TV shows and movies I've watched did...but good luck anyway, don't break the law next time!


    Did OP say why they're going to prison also?


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    #28
    ThinkProgress
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,634 ✭✭✭ThinkProgress


    DoYouEvenLift wrote: »
    At least "gay for the stay" isn't really as popular in Ireland and UK as it seems to be in USA.


    Never been to prison, and I doubt many who've posted advice ITT have either, so I can't really give any advice unless you want opinions of what characters in TV shows and movies I've watched did...but good luck anyway, don't break the law next time!


    Did OP say why they're going to prison also?

    Better digs than their current place I'd say. Plus free food, gym membership etc.

    It's a sweet deal, if you don't mind taking one for the team every now and then! :p


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    #29
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    ThinkProgress wrote: »
    Better digs than their current place I'd say. Plus free food, gym membership etc.

    It's a sweet deal, if you don't mind taking one for the team every now and then! :p


    I think it's Norway (definitely one of the Scandinavian countries) that has the cushiest prisons in the world. That guy who went on a killing spree a few years ago has a PS2 and TV in his cell and was recently demanding that they upgrade it to a PS3 because it had better games. Some inmates in other prisons have lovely private dorms with balconies and the whole lot. I can't imagine why anyone there would be homeless when they could easily just pretend to rob a bank and get all those perks, it's a win win either way since you either get lots of cash or free accommodation and food.


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    #30
    Jesus Wept
    Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    DoYouEvenLift wrote: »
    I think it's Norway (definitely one of the Scandinavian countries) that has the cushiest prisons in the world. That guy who went on a killing spree a few years ago has a PS2 and TV in his cell and was recently demanding that they upgrade it to a PS3 because it had better games. Some inmates in other prisons have lovely private dorms with balconies and the whole lot. I can't imagine why anyone there would be homeless when they could easily just pretend to rob a bank and get all those perks, it's a win win either way since you either get lots of cash or free accommodation and food.

    And the lowest risidism rates


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    #31
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    The Rodgers wrote: »
    And the lowest risidism rates


    That's the best part, they genuinely seem to be able to rehabilitate inmates and make them capable of integrating into society better than they ever could've before entering prison


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