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Going to Prison.

kneemos

Surely a few ex cons here,so any tips for a novice inmate?
Do's and dont's of the prison world . I'm assuming beating up the biggest guy on the block will get you tenderised or worse.

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Don't drop the soap

Don't drop the soap

Don't ever smile

Gmaximum wrote: »

Don't drop the soap

Well that just shows the maturity/originality of AH

catallus

Lucifer MorningStar wrote: »

Don't ever smile

But a smile brightens up everyone's day!

scudzilla

Don't wipe your arse...at all, it'll keep others away

Lucifer MorningStar

scudzilla wrote: »

Don't wipe your arse...at all, it'll keep others away

In so many ways :pac:

SCOOP 64

Cant be that bad ,look at it as a bit of a break ,meals made for you ,cloths cleaned,
watch a bit TV followed by some exercise, bed early, ready for the same the next day.

Into The Blue

Keep yourself to yourself.
Never have more than 2 smokes on you. Don't accept favors or lends off anyone.
Try not to be last out of a room.
If you see all the prison officers leaving an area at the same time, be on the look out.

kneemos

Into The Blue wrote: »

Keep yourself to yourself.
Never have more than 2 smokes on you. Don't accept favors or lends off anyone.
Try not to be last out of a room.
If you see all the prison officers leaving an area at the same time, be on the look out.

This guy knows.

Sheep Lover

When another inmate drops the soap - it's party time.

jamesbere

Watch prison break, might give you a few idea's

godtabh

There was a thread here years ago about a boardsies experience in prison. I think he went in for assault. Probably 7 or 8 years ago

whatismyname

kneemos wrote: »

Surely a few ex cons here,so any tips for a novice inmate?
Do's and dont's of the prison world . I'm assuming beating up the biggest guy on the block will get you tenderised or worse.

Depends.

Are you meaning that you're heading here

> http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/forumdisplay.php?f=335

[Deleted User]

I'd say much depends on the prison.

Mountjoy might be much tougher than say Cork prison, although there was a stabbing in Cork in recent weeks.

But no point saying otherwise, even a remand prison like Cork is still a very grim place. I suspect a lot of the "prisons are too soft" brigade have never set foot inside one.

godtabh

This is it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=302566

Not sure if he actual went to prison in the end.

seamus

godtabh wrote: »

This is it.

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=302566

Not sure if he actual went to prison in the end.

That's the one I was thinking of. The guy did actually come back and talk about it after spending six months inside IIRC. Great thread.

ThinkProgress

Never been a convict - smart people don't get caught.

But...

Develop a skill that's USEFUL in prison.

This might give you a chance of not being a USEFUL place for people to put their tools!

godtabh

seamus wrote: »

That's the one I was thinking of. The guy did actually come back and talk about it after spending six months inside IIRC. Great thread.

I assume the thread was in Personal Issues as it isnt coming up in search

HardenendMan

Do the wardens bookkeeping. You will get some leniency for this.

Talk to red, he can get you a wee hammer. Put up a poster of a lady that is pleasing on the eye.

Then every night, slowly chip away at the concrete behind the poster.

You will eventually reach the sewage pipes. And the smell will nearly kill you. But you will make it. And red will meet up with you and you two can ride eachother sideways on a little crappy boat.

There's a movie in that story.

Them Thar Hills

Exit the country tonight, don't tell anyone, bring your own soap.

irish coldplayer

learn how to toss salad :eek:

KTR1C

I did a stretch as a guest of the state at one stage, not something you really want to be reminded of.

AM21

godtabh wrote: »

I assume the thread was in Personal Issues as it isnt coming up in search

Anyone have a link to his update on what it was like? Original thread before he went in was very interesting.

Ruu

Watched a great documentary called the Shawshank Redemption, might have a few tips for you...and

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sHjlM5A1jME

DoYouEvenLift

At least "gay for the stay" isn't really as popular in Ireland and UK as it seems to be in USA.

Never been to prison, and I doubt many who've posted advice ITT have either, so I can't really give any advice unless you want opinions of what characters in TV shows and movies I've watched did...but good luck anyway, don't break the law next time!

Did OP say why they're going to prison also?

ThinkProgress

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

At least "gay for the stay" isn't really as popular in Ireland and UK as it seems to be in USA.

Never been to prison, and I doubt many who've posted advice ITT have either, so I can't really give any advice unless you want opinions of what characters in TV shows and movies I've watched did...but good luck anyway, don't break the law next time!

Did OP say why they're going to prison also?

Better digs than their current place I'd say. Plus free food, gym membership etc.

It's a sweet deal, if you don't mind taking one for the team every now and then!

DoYouEvenLift

ThinkProgress wrote: »

Better digs than their current place I'd say. Plus free food, gym membership etc.

It's a sweet deal, if you don't mind taking one for the team every now and then!

I think it's Norway (definitely one of the Scandinavian countries) that has the cushiest prisons in the world. That guy who went on a killing spree a few years ago has a PS2 and TV in his cell and was recently demanding that they upgrade it to a PS3 because it had better games. Some inmates in other prisons have lovely private dorms with balconies and the whole lot. I can't imagine why anyone there would be homeless when they could easily just pretend to rob a bank and get all those perks, it's a win win either way since you either get lots of cash or free accommodation and food.

Jesus Wept

DoYouEvenLift wrote: »

I think it's Norway (definitely one of the Scandinavian countries) that has the cushiest prisons in the world. That guy who went on a killing spree a few years ago has a PS2 and TV in his cell and was recently demanding that they upgrade it to a PS3 because it had better games. Some inmates in other prisons have lovely private dorms with balconies and the whole lot. I can't imagine why anyone there would be homeless when they could easily just pretend to rob a bank and get all those perks, it's a win win either way since you either get lots of cash or free accommodation and food.

And the lowest risidism rates

DoYouEvenLift

The Rodgers wrote: »

And the lowest risidism rates

That's the best part, they genuinely seem to be able to rehabilitate inmates and make them capable of integrating into society better than they ever could've before entering prison