Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Sittingpretty

I have to say of all threads I follow, this is the one I would have least expected to turn into a breastfeeding debate

Kev W

bajer101 wrote: »

Oh yeah, I get it now. Titty - Breast Feeding. He he he.

When you are old enough, and if you are lucky enough to have a partner who will breast feed your children, you will realise how juvenile your jokes are.

Yeah, he really made a tit of himself. Thankfully you were able to nip that in the bud.

SuperGrover

sullivlo wrote: »

My friend just posted:

"For sale - White Chester drawers".

With a photo of a chest of drawers.

http://youtu.be/5Ji48tBHYzw

kunst nugget

bajer101 wrote: »

Oh yeah, I get it now. Titty - Breast Feeding. He he he.

When you are old enough, and if you are lucky enough to have a partner who will breast feed your children, you will realise how juvenile your jokes are.

My wife breastfed our two children and I totally support mothers being allowed to breastfeed in public. That said, getting a professional photo of yourself breastfeeding your child and putting it up on facebooks smack of patting yourself on the back and letting everyone know how great you are.

Also, getting high and mighty over a very gentle and minor joke about breastfeeding is being extraordinarily precious and accusing the jokemaker of being a pervert is way out of line.

whatismyname

"i wish mcdonalds did home delivery cravings"

PARlance

I'm not its biggest fan but Facebook has just thrown up an absolute belter. Has been ongoing for the last 24 hours.
The lad in question is a friend of my younger brother, nice lad, but a nutter.

He starts off with a post "anyone use Tagged or Kik, someone has taken my facebook photos and set up an account on both pretending to be me, just got a facebook message of some bird saying she was chatting to me on them"

(Tagged and Kik are two dating type apps apparently)

Queue the responses "you sure that wasn't you steamed" etc etc. He does like a bit of a session.

Next comes a screen grab of his conversation with this woman. "You were talking to me last night, told me you love me", "No I wasn't"... she explains, he is confused. They eventually get to the bottom of it.

"The guy pretending to be you sent me a picture of his knob" I don't know why, but she also adds detail that he was wearing a thumb ring which later proves important.
"He called me last night, he had a strong London accent... told me he loved me" This will also prove important later on.

Plenty of witty responses coming in at this stage. A good story in itself but we're only getting started.

Next him informs us that the bird is a bit of a nutter too. More screen grabs of her messages.
"Can we chat anyway", "No", "why not", "I don't know you", "But you've 2000 friends, why won't you add me".... no response, she ends with "Well you have my details and know where I am if you're ever up in Dublin"

He's up in Dublin for the Irish match next week so his mates weigh in with some quality comments. Let's just say she's a few years older than this guy and you wouldn't put them together. He's being advised to give it a lash anyway.

It's suspected that it was one of the mates acting the maggot. They're a crowd of messers. One lad posts a picture of an onion ring on his thumb..."it wasn't me".
The search for someone/anyone goes on....

Day 2:
Some bright spark "You said she gave you his number, have you called him, post it up here to see if anyone has it"

"Ya, I've been calling him but no answer, fcuk it, here's the number"

Some brighter spark shares a screen grab, she has entered his number in the facebook search tab and it has brought up another lads page.

Comments flying in now, he is from a village about 30 mins away, but he is living/working in the same town now as the guy he is pretending to be. Many know him. None well. He has an English accent. Someone posts a pic that they've taken of his facebook page with his thumb ring in full view.

He's engaged! 2 children.

Some people know his fiancee quite well.

Some others are getting creative with photoshop, pure gold. Some are suggestion he gets the knob pic and send it to your man and fiancee. What to do next has everyone captivated.

And that's us up to date folks. More to follow I'm sure.

brandnewaward

PARlance wrote: »

I'm not its biggest fan but Facebook has just thrown up an absolute belter. Has been ongoing for the last 24 hours.
The lad in question is a friend of my younger brother, nice lad, but a nutter.

He starts off with a post "anyone use Tagged or Kik, someone has taken my facebook photos and set up an account on both pretending to be me, just got a facebook message of some bird saying she was chatting to me on them"

(Tagged and Kik are two dating type apps apparently)

Queue the responses "you sure that wasn't you steamed" etc etc. He does like a bit of a session.

Next comes a screen grab of his conversation with this woman. "You were talking to me last night, told me you love me", "No I wasn't"... she explains, he is confused. They eventually get to the bottom of it.

"The guy pretending to be you sent me a picture of his knob" I don't know why, but she also adds detail that he was wearing a thumb ring which later proves important.
"He called me last night, he had a strong London accent... told me he loved me" This will also prove important later on.

Plenty of witty responses coming in at this stage. A good story in itself but we're only getting started.

Next him informs us that the bird is a bit of a nutter too. More screen grabs of her messages.
"Can we chat anyway", "No", "why not", "I don't know you", "But you've 2000 friends, why won't you add me".... no response, she ends with "Well you have my details and know where I am if you're ever up in Dublin"

He's up in Dublin for the Irish match next week so his mates weigh in with some quality comments. Let's just say she's a few years older than this guy and you wouldn't put them together. He's being advised to give it a lash anyway.

It's suspected that it was one of the mates acting the maggot. They're a crowd of messers. One lad posts a picture of an onion ring on his thumb..."it wasn't me".
The search for someone/anyone goes on....

Day 2:
Some bright spark "You said she gave you his number, have you called him, post it up here to see if anyone has it"

"Ya, I've been calling him but no answer, fcuk it, here's the number"

Some brighter spark shares a screen grab, she has entered his number in the facebook search tab and it has brought up another lads page.

Comments flying in now, he is from a village about 30 mins away, but he is living/working in the same town now as the guy he is pretending to be. Many know him. None well. He has an English accent. Someone posts a pic that they've taken of his facebook page with his thumb ring in full view.

He's engaged! 2 children.

Some people know his fiancee quite well.

Some others are getting creative with photoshop, pure gold. Some are suggestion he gets the knob pic and send it to your man and fiancee. What to do next has everyone captivated.

And that's us up to date folks. More to follow I'm sure.

i hereby name this saga.....knobgate
i predict a thread

rawn

PARlance wrote: »

**knobgate**

His poor fiance. I do hope someone lets her know but in a gentler way than sending her a the knob picture.

stephenl15

Ok, so basically, some older guy robbed this guys identity so he could chat to younger girls on tagged and kik. He sent a picture of his knob to the girl. The girl for some reason wanted to meet him if he was ever in dublin. The guy who's identity was stolen was trying to figure out who done it and his mates started taking the piss?

I'm very confused in the middle but the end bit is gold! I look forward to hearing the rest :P

PARlance

stephenl15 wrote: »

Ok, so basically, some older guy robbed this guys identity so he could chat to younger girls on tagged and kik. He sent a picture of his knob to the girl. The girl for some reason wanted to meet him if he was ever in dublin. The guy who's identity was stolen was trying to figure out who done it and his mates started taking the piss?

I'm very confused in the middle but the end bit is gold! I look forward to hearing the rest :P

I was trying to sum up over 200 comments in chronological order but here's the overview.

Let's call the innocent party Ian. Ian is late 20's, a bit of a lad about town, goes out Thursday and comes home Tuesday type. Would probably have no problem with the ladies but prioritises the good life instead. A popular lad around town.

Lets call the other guy Simon. Simon was born in England but moved to a small village about 30 mins from Ian. Simon is engaged and has 2 kids with his fiancé by the looks of it. Simon has recently moved and works in the same town as Ian. Simon works in Supermacs so has obviously witnessed Ian and his late night antics. Simon is early 30's and would probably see Ian as someone he wants to be. He is the type to benefit from using somebody else's photos on a dating site.

Simon pretends to be Ian on a few dating sites. Robbing his facebook photos and using Ian's name on them. He gets chatting to Linda on one such site. Linda likes what she sees. Linda is mid-late 40's and Ian would be a very good catch for her. But it's not Ian she's chatting to, it's Simon. They progress to texting and even phoning each other. Things obviously heat up if Simon feels it's ok to send a knobselfie.

Linda has no issue with selfies, she decides to friend request Ian on facebook purely just to reach out on that. Why not, things were going well. It's only then that everything begins to unravel as Ian asks her who she is. Linda realises she has been fooled. She gives Simons number to Ian so he can get to the bottom of it. Not one to let another opportunity pass, Linda tries it on with the real Ian but he's having none of it.

Armed with nothing but Simons number, Ian posts it and someone is able to identify Simon from it. Simon is only identified 20 hours into the 24 hour saga.

What happens next is anyone's guess. Ian is a popular guy. Over 300 people in town have liked the status and word will spread.

Potential Underachiever

Catfish!!!!

TheChevron

PARlance wrote: »

I was trying to sum up over 200 comments in chronological order but here's the overview.

Let's call the innocent party Ian. Ian is late 20's, a bit of a lad about town, goes out Thursday and comes home Tuesday type. Would probably have no problem with the ladies but prioritises the good life instead. A popular lad around town.

Lets call the other guy Simon. Simon was born in England but moved to a small village about 30 mins from Ian. Simon is engaged and has 2 kids with his fiancé by the looks of it. Simon has recently moved and works in the same town as Ian. Simon works in Supermacs so has obviously witnessed Ian and his late night antics. Simon is early 30's and would probably see Ian as someone he wants to be. He is the type to benefit from using somebody else's photos on a dating site.

Simon pretends to be Ian on a few dating sites. Robbing his facebook photos and using Ian's name on them. He gets chatting to Linda on one such site. Linda likes what she sees. Linda is mid-late 40's and Ian would be a very good catch for her. But it's not Ian she's chatting to, it's Simon. They progress to texting and even phoning each other. Things obviously heat up if Simon feels it's ok to send a knobselfie.

Linda has no issue with selfies, she decides to friend request Ian on facebook purely just to reach out on that. Why not, things were going well. It's only then that everything begins to unravel as Ian asks her who she is. Linda realises she has been fooled. She gives Simons number to Ian so he can get to the bottom of it. Not one to let another opportunity pass, Linda tries it on with the real Ian but he's having none of it.

Armed with nothing but Simons number, Ian posts it and someone is able to identify Simon from it. Simon is only identified 20 hours into the 24 hour saga.

What happens next is anyone's guess. Ian is a popular guy. Over 300 people in town have liked the status and word will spread.

Keep us posted.

MonkstownHoop

PARlance wrote: »

Not one to let another opportunity pass, Linda tries it on with the real Ian but he's having none of it.

Lol

FallSilently

WARNING EVERYBODY: New hackers on Facebook and what they write is aggression from you and it's insulting. It's really nasty and it appears to come from you. You do not see it, but your friends do. One result of this can be that you will be deleted on your friends list. I just want to say, if you get something that is offensive, malicious, vulgar, etc., it is ABSOLUTELY NOT from me! Copy this and let your friends know. If you get anything like this from me, please tell me and report it immediately to Facebook. Apparently it can come in messages too.
PLEASE do NOT share! "COPY AND PASTE

Yes it's another c&p chain post but it bugs me because it was posted by someone whose intelligence I otherwise respect. Be a great way to get out a few choice opinions, though.

RainyDay

FallSilently wrote: »

WARNING EVERYBODY: New hackers on Facebook and what they write is aggression from you and it's insulting. It's really nasty and it appears to come from you. You do not see it, but your friends do. One result of this can be that you will be deleted on your friends list. I just want to say, if you get something that is offensive, malicious, vulgar, etc., it is ABSOLUTELY NOT from me! Copy this and let your friends know. If you get anything like this from me, please tell me and report it immediately to Facebook. Apparently it can come in messages too.
PLEASE do NOT share! "COPY AND PASTE

Yes it's another c&p chain post but it bugs me because it was posted by someone whose intelligence I otherwise respect. Be a great way to get out a few choice opinions, though.

Great excuse to tell the d1ckhead to fu%% off.

PARlance

TheChevron wrote: »

Keep us posted.

Nothing of note today... only people looking for updates I'm afraid.

Wise Old Elf

Someone posted an "inspirational" posted on my timeline with "there are no traffic jams on the extra mile" or some horsesh1te.

Was sorely tempted to post this in response (from YLYL)

fussyonion

This girl posted an old school photo and tagged a few friends.

(names changed to protect identity...except gimpy)

"Lisa look at gimpys face member he had dat mole and de slaggin heeh"
"jaysus remember pauls nose the fcukin size of it i wonder did he ever get that sorted"
"state of mr cleary wit his beard i remember wen shelly went up ta him an said here mr cleary hows ur micky these days i was SCARLA but she went off round de yard ballin laughin jaysus they were the days alri"
"see gems in the back u never liked her and all cos she went round spredin rumors dat u had siyphfills dangerous b****"
New commenter: "wanna be careful who ur taggin in these pics cos pauls married to my cousin an for your information there was nothin wrong with his nose but maybe theres something wrong wit your manners"
"fcuk off creeping on my page then laura simple as yeh"
"fcuk off fcuking tagging people then and use your brians"

brians! tee-hee

Loughc

Ah fussyonion your newsfeed is a gift that keeps on giving.

Sittingpretty

fussyonion wrote: »

This girl posted an old school photo and tagged a few friends.

(names changed to protect identity...except gimpy)

"Lisa look at gimpys face member he had dat mole and de slaggin heeh"
"jaysus remember pauls nose the fcukin size of it i wonder did he ever get that sorted"
"state of mr cleary wit his beard i remember wen shelly went up ta him an said here mr cleary hows ur micky these days i was SCARLA but she went off round de yard ballin laughin jaysus they were the days alri"
"see gems in the back u never liked her and all cos she went round spredin rumors dat u had siyphfills dangerous b****"
New commenter: "wanna be careful who ur taggin in these pics cos pauls married to my cousin an for your information there was nothin wrong with his nose but maybe theres something wrong wit your manners"
"fcuk off creeping on my page then laura simple as yeh"
"fcuk off fcuking tagging people then and use your brians"

brians! tee-hee

Seriously, you, my friend, are the outstanding star of this thread

KKkitty

Fussyonion is not allowed to ever close their account. This thread will disintegrate if they do.

ivytwine

Bargain basement racism.

brandnewaward

KKkitty wrote: »

Fussyonion is not allowed to ever close their account. This thread will disintegrate if they do.

we could have the best of fussyonion thread?

LynnGrace

Sittingpretty wrote: »

Seriously, you, my friend, are the outstanding star of this thread

Agreed. I love the thread anyway, but when I see a post from fussyonion, I know it's going to be good.

Riesen_Meal

Army man mate of mine :

Army man "Its offishil, gud tings cum to dem hew wate, I got promowted to SGT just now"

Relative :

What stg mean?

Army man :

Sargent Xxxx xxxxx

LynnGrace

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

Someone posted an "inspirational" posted on my timeline with "there are no traffic jams on the extra mile" or some horsesh1te.

Was sorely tempted to post this in response (from YLYL)

Oh this would be so good to post, in more than one case.

siblers

Wise Old Elf wrote: »

Someone posted an "inspirational" posted on my timeline with "there are no traffic jams on the extra mile" or some horsesh1te.

Was sorely tempted to post this in response (from YLYL)

A girl on my newsfeed keeps posting that **** or else sharing it, I replied with that pic to one of them. Felt so satisfying.

ivytwine wrote: »

Bargain basement racism.

That seems like it was posted by an American who thinks they are Irish but has never actually been here.

sligojoek

Oh my god women ur ment to pick da nicest photos and put dem up not dem all look at da cut a me n dem and I wouldn't mind ya posted da really bad pic of me 3times lol

GAAman

On 'veterans day' I really enjoyed all the shared videos of american military homecomings and messages of support and gratitude to american military personnel. These status updates were shared by Irish people....... Some of whom I know for a fact have never even set foot in america.......

KKkitty

brandnewaward wrote: »

we could have the best of fussyonion thread?

Fussyonion's Facebook friends and foes could be the title