Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Omackeral

Get ready for this sh*t on your timelines.


Well it's OFFICIAL! 🙈🙈🙈 This explains why I've been struggling to lose weight and slowly gaining during this time of the year I have some amazing but very shocking news‼ 😮 I am expecting a chubby little man in a little under 3 months and counting. 🍼 I know, I'm very shocked too and can hardly believe it myself. I wasn't going to post it here, on Facebook, but since you are all my family and friends, I wanted to make it official! I'm way too overwhelmed to keep it a secret. But so excited. Who would have guessed that me of all people would be expecting!!.
But YES we are expecting Santa Claus in just 2 very short months. Repost if you have a sense of humor. Let's see how many people read the whole status.

rawn

kunst nugget

Omackeral wrote: »

Get ready for this sh*t on your timelines.


Well it's OFFICIAL! 🙈🙈🙈 This explains why I've been struggling to lose weight and slowly gaining during this time of the year I have some amazing but very shocking news‼ 😮 I am expecting a chubby little man in a little under 3 months and counting. 🼠I know, I'm very shocked too and can hardly believe it myself. I wasn't going to post it here, on Facebook, but since you are all my family and friends, I wanted to make it official! I'm way too overwhelmed to keep it a secret. But so excited. Who would have guessed that me of all people would be expecting!!.
But YES we are expecting Santa Claus in just 2 very short months. Repost if you have a sense of humor. Let's see how many people read the whole status.

Repost if you have a sense of humour? You might have a sense of humour but it's a focking terrible one.

Dolbert

I'm betting that 100% of these "crime prevention alerts" are bollocks

Message from follower:
Please please put this warning up!!
A lady was walking down the Sallins Rd last week pushing a baby in a buggy. A man came up behind her, tapped her on the back and showed her a spider in his hand, she obviously jumped and tried to wipe her back thinking there was a spider there and the man grabbed the buggy and ran, she had to run after him to get the baby back.
She reported it to Naas Gardaí. Unbelievably scary and worrying, please be aware. No description of the man given

spud82

"Anoda morning anodda hangover, time to pop her self in boucner so I can watch Jezzza. My princess will be quite so I can watch Jezza K. Lova ya babes, 3 months old already #blessed#hangover

sligojoek

spud82 wrote: »

"Anoda morning anodda hangover, time to pop her self in boucner so I can watch Jezzza. My princess will be quite so I can watch Jezza K. Lova ya babes, 3 months old already #blessed#hangover

Sounds like Denise Royale/Best

Dolbert

Dolbert wrote: »

I'm betting that 100% of these "crime prevention alerts" are bollocks

I've been roundly informed that it definitely happened to a friend of a friend so I'd better get my facts straight :pac:

GAAman

You know those vaguebook passive aggressive status messages, this isn't one of them....

Really frustrates me when you know "family" in England see my statuses n know I've had a big operation n don't even pick up the phone to see how I am. For that fact don't even say get well on FB, yet comment on THEIR family pics. You know what **** you..bunch of two faced bastards. I won't b here if you ever need me!!!!! Rant over!!

Peppa Pig

Really frustrates me when you know "family" in England see my statuses n know I've had a big operation n don't even pick up the phone to see how I am. For that fact don't even say get well on FB, yet comment on THEIR family pics. You know what **** you..bunch of two faced bastards. I won't b here if you ever need me!!!!! Rant over!!.

I think I see why they won't pick up the phone ..

cantdecide

rawn wrote: »

It's clearly a 2x1 for a start...

brandnewaward

spud82 wrote: »

"Anoda morning anodda hangover, time to pop her self in boucner so I can watch Jezzza. My princess will be quite so I can watch Jezza K. Lova ya babes, 3 months old already #blessed#hangover

maybe she popped a boucner in herself last night....hur hur hur

coolhull

spud82 wrote: »

"Anoda morning anodda hangover, time to pop her self in boucner so I can watch Jezzza. My princess will be quite so I can watch Jezza K. Lova ya babes, 3 months old already #blessed#hangover

Watching Jeremy Kyle (''Jezza K'') is a medically-prescribed cure for a hangover. Sure everyone knows that :rolleyes:

yerwanthere123

Made me laugh

Right My Gradaution Meal Will be in Harbour brown Steak House Cobh Saturday 14th November everyone must pay for own meal and if your going pleae via private message me on Facebook to let me know if your going

Liam McPoyle

spud82 wrote: »

"Anoda morning anodda hangover, time to pop her self in boucner so I can watch Jezzza. My princess will be quite so I can watch Jezza K. Lova ya babes, 3 months old already #blessed#hangover

That poor little child, what chance does she have.

thesandeman

Business Cat wrote: »

That poor little child, what chance does she have.

When all these Fbk babies rebel in 12-15 years I wonder will it have the opposite effect to the last generation?
Maybe intelligence could become the norm again.

inforfun

thesandeman wrote: »

When all these Fbk babies rebel in 12-15 years I wonder will it have the opposite effect to the last generation?
Maybe intelligence could become the norm again.

Apple.Tree.

But i admire your optimism.

TheChevron

Son _ Da I hit Tom a headbutt
Me_ were chap in school
Son_ no da in the gums 😂😂 he's some boy haha....

pc7

TheChevron wrote: »

Son _ Da I hit Tom a headbutt
Me_ were chap in school
Son_ no da in the gums 😂😂 he's some boy haha....

MY CUP OF TEA

my housemate was doing some drunk "ex-stalking" and typed his name into the status part instead of the search bar...and thinking she was selected his page accidentally tagged him in the post.

Didn't realise till she sobered up the next morning and had a bazillion likes and comments..including an message from his new girlfriend to take it down...mortifying for her but def the funniest thing Iv seen on facebook!

TheChevron

pc7 wrote: »

A guy on FB bragging about his son hitting another boy a head-butt and the hilarity of miscommunication when the father asked the son where he hit the boy the head-butt.

kunst nugget

pc7 wrote: »

Dad, I hit Tom a headbutt
Where, chap? In school?
No, Da, in the gums…

Kids these days…

pc7

Think it was the 'me_' confusing me

fussyonion

"down te domnics today for the famous bag of crap and everything is in boxes like loose???? like licrice strings and marshmallos so wat am i meant to do just hand them out like that??? why arent they handing out bags wen u buy de bags of crap??? seriously lads wat do i do with this????"

Comment: "Why don't you buy sandwich bags and distribute the sweets out between them?"

OP: "alri ah wat why shoud i be more out of pocket like???? you any bags in your gaff?"

Comment: "No. Tesco sell them. They aren't dear hun"

OP: "ah i know but ive me hands full and i cant be ar*ed. will i just throw a handul of them in kids bags????"

Comment: "Well you can but it would look better in bags."

OP: "ah jaysus this is why i hate haloween the fcuking stress like????"

Note: This person lives ACROSS THE ROAD from a Tesco Express.

coolhull

Fussyonion, never ever delete these people from your friends list. Without them, life wouldn't be half as much fun.......

fussyonion

coolhull wrote: »

Fussyonion, never ever delete these people from your friends list. Without them, life wouldn't be half as much fun.......

Hehe they're comical alright :pac:

fullstop

All the tools sharing the latest "Win a first class ticket anywhere in the world" by a page called 'Emirates Air.' Such an obvious fake yet every 2nd person is sharing the bloody thing.

coolhull

"Like and share if you wish cancer didn't exist"

When I think of all the decades and the billions of pounds we've spent on cancer research, when all we had to do was like and share this post...... Sometimes the most brilliant ideas are the simplest

fussyonion

coolhull wrote: »

"Like and share if you wish cancer didn't exist"

When I think of all the decades and the billions of pounds we've spent on cancer research, when all we had to do was like and share this post...... Sometimes the most brilliant ideas are the simplest

You know what gets me; some of the more intelligent people on my FB (and yes, there are some), even fall for these.

A girl I wouldn't expect to be suckered in only yesterday typed "Amen" under an obviously mocked-up picture of an old woman in a hospice holding up a card which read: "Type "Amen" and I will live another two years".

Another person "Liked" a picture of a baby, all battered and bruised in hospital which was captioned: "Like if you think this is disgraceful."

Why the hell are people falling for these sick things?

cantdecide

Courtesy of the Rubberbandits FB page

siblers

It's amazing how Facebook has lead me to absolutely detest minions.