Short People Problems

There is an extractor vent in my bathroom that badly needs cleaning, and every time I walk in the bathroom the caked dust mocks me with it's inaccessibility. I can reach it with a mop (just), but it doesn't clean it thoroughly. What I really need is to get up in it's grill and wipe it out properly, as the dirt is compromising it's efficacy. The three-step ladder I have isn't up to the job. I don't want to buy a stepladder just to clean a vent, but it's looking likely. I know a very tall Russian who might help but my short person pride, and a fear of being in his debt, prevent me from asking.

Last week I couldn't reach the ice-cream I wanted in the supermarket, and as a direct result of this lack of medicinal chocolate and sugar, my PMS went through the roof and I went on a killing rampage. Or at least I wanted to. Anyway, I told someone to shut up, which is nearly as bad.

Any AH'ers with small person problems? Or tall person problems? Or ideas for cleaning inaccessible extractor fans?

The first person who pitches up with the short man/overweight woman thing will get a smack of my mop. No negative gender stuff please, for once.

robman60

Not getting on the rides in Disneyland.

Earthhorse

Women won't date me.

AND IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERSONALITY, YA HEAR!!! :mad:

wretcheddomain

Tends to be the phenomena we see with obese women - the ones who keep farting and clogging up extractor fans - and then they have the brass neck to complain about cleaning it.

robman60

robman60 wrote: »

Not getting on the rides in Disneyland.

I'm not allowed on the big rollercoaster in Alton Park.

rabwaygal

A lot of things go over their heads?

wretcheddomain

wretcheddomain wrote: »

Tends to be the phenomena we see with obese women - the ones who keep farting and clogging up extractor fans - and then they have the brass neck to complain about cleaning it.

I'm 41kg, I'm lucky I'm not sucked out the extractor fan.

KKkitty

Sometimes you have to hand it to short people cos they just can't reach it.

Earthhorse

Earthhorse wrote: »

Women won't date me.

AND IT'S NOTHING TO DO WITH MY PERSONALITY, YA HEAR!!! :mad:

It's probably more to do with the hunchback and the claws, tbf.

knickerbocker

Pallbearer.......... carry all the weight!

Kevin McCloud

They are all the same height lying down

knickerbocker

knickerbocker wrote: »

Pallbearer.......... carry all the weight!

Would the tall people not do that? I could coast along underneath, pretending to take some of the weight on my head.

Desolation Of Smug

Sheep lover will be along in a minute with a long list...or a short list.

Iranoutofideas

Frank Drebin - "Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes."

buried

The benifits outweigh the problems. Having a low centre of gravity means you can easily and stealthily get the f**k out of dodge in any situation where the dodge is going on. Tall things get attacked on a constant basis, look what happened the twin towers

lavdad

robman60 wrote: »

Not getting on the rides in Disneyland.

Not getting the ride in clubs if you're under 5'10.

bodice ripper

In one out of every three jacks in the Netherlands, my feet don't touch the floor.

bodice ripper

bodice ripper wrote: »

In one out of every three jacks in the Netherlands, my feet don't touch the floor.

My god, have I found someone smaller than I am? I'm 4ft 11in, but I don't think I've ever had dangly feet on a loo!

Alexis Sanchez

Candie wrote: »

My god, have I found someone smaller than I am? I'm 4ft 11in, but I don't think I've ever had dangly feet on a loo!

Have you been to Holland? Average height there is around 6 foot. It's 5' 10" in Ireland.

Alexis Sanchez

Alexis Sanchez wrote: »

Have you been to Holland? Average height there is around 6 foot. It's 5' 10" in Ireland.

Yes I've been to Holland, but I never met a toilet that high. The Dutch are tall alright.

bonzodog2

Am I allowed to do this? (In this PC age)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA

No offence intended to Shorties, honest!

bonzodog2

bonzodog2 wrote: »

Am I allowed to do this? (In this PC age)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NvgLkuEtkA

My boss sings that the odd time, when he sees me trying to get something off one of the top shelves in our reference room.

He calls me The House Elf.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Ask the tall Russian fella to clean it OP.

When he's done relax and run yourself a nice hot sink.

Don't make a hobbit of it though.

Adyx

I keep an empty crate behind my bar so I can reach the glasses on the upper shelves.

Sir Osis of Liver.

Sir Osis of Liver. wrote: »

Ask the tall Russian fella to clean it OP.

I would but his name is Vladimir and he's known as Vlad the Impaler, the possibilities are scary.

When he's done relax and run yourself a nice hot sink.

Don't make a hobbit of it though.

Meany

Smidge

Use the cordless hoover

With the brush attachment

Fat Christy

Candie wrote: »

I'm 41kg, I'm lucky I'm not sucked out the extractor fan.

I'm double your weight and then some......

buried

Adyx wrote: »

I keep an empty crate behind my bar so I can reach the glasses on the upper shelves.

That just shows you've got a high level of problem solving intelligence which is endemic amongst us little folk

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

Use the cordless hoover

With the brush attachment

I can't L, the steam has crusted the stuff on and nothing I can swipe it with is moving it. You know what I'm like, it's driving me mad!

Fat Christy

Fat Christy wrote: »

I'm double your weight and then some......

You're also twice my height!

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

I can't L, the steam has crusted the stuff on and nothing I can swipe it with is moving it. You know what I'm like, it's driving me mad!

Ah I see, the dust got wet and crusty
No other option than step ladder(avoid the Russian :P). Then before a shower a quick run over the dry lint will keep the beasty under control











*unless you want to use the Russian

KKkitty

I'm vertically challenged too Candie and hate having to get chairs to get to the top presses and other high areas in my house.

Smidge

KKkitty wrote: »

I'm vertically challenged too Candie and hate having to get chairs to get to the top presses and other high areas in my house.

There's vertically challenged and then theres Candie at 4'11.
That's borderline for Disability Payment :P

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

Ah I see, the dust got wet and crusty
No other option than step ladder(avoid the Russian :P). Then before a shower a quick run over the dry lint will keep the beasty under control

*unless you want to use the Russian

I think it's stepladder time. At least it's not hammer time.

KKkitty wrote: »

I'm vertically challenged too Candie and hate having to get chairs to get to the top presses and other high areas in my house.

They don't understand our pain KKk, Everyday brings a new, higher, challenge.

On the plus side, I'm perfectly comfortable on 'plane seats and I can sleep in almost any armchair. And people think I'm cute and harmless, even though I'm actually a prolific serial killer. :pac:

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

There's vertically challenged and then theres Candie at 4'11.
That's borderline for Disability Payment :P

:eek:

What have I EVER done to you? It's not like I've ever called you Schnozz. Not even once! :pac:

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

I think it's stepladder time. At least it's not hammer time.

Probably wise

eternal

Fat Christy wrote: »

I'm double your weight and then some......

Most people are double her weight. She'll fly away one of these days.

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

:eek:

What have I EVER done to you? It's not like I've ever called you Schnozz. Not even once! :pac:

Unfriends

Actually, you have :D

I lord it over you from my lofty heights at 5'5 :cool:

The Princess Bride

I can't reach into the back of the supermarket fridge to get the milk,plus, there's nothing to stand on- and I'm 5ft5- very frustrating!

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

Unfriends

Actually, you have :D

I lord it over you from my lofty heights at 5'5 :cool:

Sorry Stretch.






I didn't, you did though!

The Princess Bride

The Princess Bride wrote: »

I can't reach into the back of the supermarket fridge to get the milk,plus, there's nothing to stand on- and I'm 5ft5- very frustrating!

5ft 5?

I'm trying to summon up some sympathy, but it's not easy!

bodice ripper

Candie wrote: »

My god, have I found someone smaller than I am? I'm 4ft 11in, but I don't think I've ever had dangly feet on a loo!

My feet touch the floor if I point my toes, sure. I am 5ft 2, my legs must be extra stumpy.

I look forward to moving home and feeling like I grew a few inches.

Fat Christy

Candie wrote: »

5ft 5?

I'm trying to summon up some sympathy, but it's not easy!

Not small for a female!!! Not small at all!!

Smidge

Candie wrote: »

Sorry Stretch.






I didn't, you did though!

Well, I now accept your offer for the trip to Madrid.
Pay up and look fresh

I have no problem asking more blessed folk in the height dept to reach things for me. They are usually to afraid to refuse the poor deformed individual making the request :eek:

bodice ripper

Smidge wrote: »

Well, I now accept your offer for the trip to Madrid.
Pay up and look fresh

I have no problem asking more blessed folk in the height dept to reach things for me. They are usually to afraid to refuse the poor deformed individual making the request :eek:

You've gotta hand it to short people...

Fat Christy

eternal wrote: »

Most people are double her weight. She'll fly away one of these days.

No, I'm genuinely heavy. My BMI is 28 or something.....between overweight and obese. :pac:

Smidge

Smidge wrote: »

Well, I now accept your offer for the trip to Madrid.
Pay up and look fresh

I have no problem asking more blessed folk in the height dept to reach things for me. They are usually to afraid to refuse the poor deformed individual making the request :eek:

Do you really need help getting things of shelves at 5ft 5? I honestly thought once you were over about 5ft 3 you'd be ok reaching things in everyday life.

Badly Drunk Boy

Candie wrote: »

Would the tall people not do that? I could coast along underneath, pretending to take some of the weight on my head.

I've carried a coffin twice in my life and was worried I was going to cause it to fall because I was 5 or 6 inches taller than the next tallest. I had to compensate by lowering the coffin a bit below my shoulder causing it to feel heavier, and also risking the same outcome.

In the first job where I had one of those calendars with a daily saying, on my birthday it said "Stoop as you go through life and you will avoid many hard knocks". I have often hit my head off doorways (when not paying proper attention.).

Smidge

Fat Christy wrote: »

Not small for a female!!! Not small at all!!

Alright, Dr Seuss

Fat Christy

Smidge wrote: »

Alright, Dr Seuss

I consider myself tall at 5'9. I'm female. 5'5, g'way and sh*te, you're not small. Not for a girl anyway.

KKkitty

Most of the time if something I want or need is up too high I forget about it. Not great with high heels either.