Peter Alliss Quotes

titlebearer

With the BBC making a massive Boo Boo getting rid of the golf, I was thinking about Peter Alliss. Love him or hate him, I always found that listening to him talking about the golf enjoyable.

I was watching Sky Sports golf last night and they had Gary Christian on the commentary. It was like I was watching the Niall Quinn of golf commentary. He was bringing nothing to the discussion just blatantly obvious quotes like "Tiger is really struggling with his short game"... right after he bladed a sand wedge 30 yards over the green... I even felt like muting the TV.

So with Alliss gone are we in for boring Sky Sports commentary or will the new generation step up? Granted Feherty can be amusing!

titlebearer

"I can't see, unless the weather changes, the conditions changing dramatically."

from this article (but I remember it myself)

"Nick Greenwood reminds me of my all-time favourite quote from Sir Peter. (I have bestowed the knighthood). It concerned the golfer Chris DiMarco, whose mother had died shortly before the tournament. He was playing well, and in that uniquely religiose American way he attributed this to his mother, who was watching from heaven and urging him on.

Then he missed a crucial putt. "Ooh," said Sir Peter, "Mom must have just popped out for a cup of tea."

titlebearer

Very good. Another classic is

"It's like turning up to hear Pavarotti sing and finding out he has laryngitis". (Of Tiger Woods' 81 in the 3rd round of the 2002 Open Championship)

squadro

One of the good things about Scottish rain is that most of it ends up as scotch.

valoren

“5, 5, 5, 4, 7…It’s like the dialling code for Tierra del Feugo.”

Describing the first five holes of Duffy Waldorf in the 2nd round of the 2002 Open Championship at Muirfield.

razorblunt

The parody account on twitter is fantastic, it must be said. By Jove.

Dayor Knight

"Go easy on the chips, old boy" to/about a fat lad shown briefly lying in the sun..... funny at the time anyway!

ShriekingSheet

Ive been on Boards for 12 years.

I'd just like to say, this thread has the potential to be the best thread of all time.

My personal favourite quote: "It's not over yet".

After Phil Mickelson holes an 18 foot putt on the 72nd hole at Augusta to win the Masters. (Not two-putting for a play-off)

He's an institution.

scrubber72

His hall of fame speech is epic.
http://youtu.be/N_HSJ8niuKE

Unglika Norse

I loved the one about the pro who held the putter in a weird way, can't remember his name, but the man said, more or less, "

Oh my god, I havn't seen a grip like that, since they closed the public toilets at paddington station.

Legendary

sky6

Unglika Norse wrote: »

I loved the one about the pro who held the putter in a weird way, can't remember his name, but the man said, more or less, "

Oh my god, I havn't seen a grip like that, since they closed the public toilets at paddington station.

Legendary

Now that is a Classic.

He was so dry with some of his sayings that he didn't even realise he was being funny.

Kingswood Rover

I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.

titlebearer

I agree completely. When I was growing up I fell in love with the game of golf. I'm still infatuated with the game today. As bad as i play on a Saturday in my local club I remember the days watching Langer, Monty and Woods playing golf and listening to Alliss imaging that on a good day I could shoot a good score. The game was more than a game with Aliss. He is an institution of the game and he is the reason people turned on and stayed watching from the start on Thursday to the end in Sunday. He was witty and intelligent.

I still watch sky sports golf but they lack charm and continue to rely on technology. The trackman is cool but I often turn off the program and wish I could listen to Alliss and his ilk.

"As the cock crows, it's only about 200 yards."

Kingswood Rover wrote: »

I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.

tayto lover

"It's a funny old game. One day you're a statue, the next you're a pigeon."

Seve OB

One of my favourites, years ago, the Womens Weetabix British Open. It was a scorcher of a day and a young Paula Creamer, new on the golf scene, probably not much older than 18, was looking as sexy as hell, pink ribbon in her hair, little skimpy mini skirt, camera man zooms in on her just walking along...........
............... silence.........(Alliss is deep in thought)........ more silence..........
then out he blurts, just 2 words.......... but it was the way he said it

Icceeeeee
Creamerrrrrrrrrrr

PARlance

"He hasn't got any good points to his swing that a bit of tuition couldn't ruin."

Seve OB

one i wrote last year

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=91348481&postcount=472

Seve OB wrote: »

I think he is class. I can't remember who hit it, but a ball went way into the rough yesterday evening, behind the crowd, and young lad ran to it, pint glass in hand, ducked under a rope and stopped dead over the ball and Alliss commentated "what an athlete, didn't even spill a drop" and "how can you drink beer and have a body like that"

I think he can be quite funny and IMO, he is the voice of golf, it just wouldn't be the same without him. I only wish he was on every week.

PARlance

Two legends here:

Commentating on Jiminezs' warmup routine: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UV_SR6YnBLs&autoplay=1

titlebearer

That's hilarious. Would you then consider David Feherty a new generation Alliss?

Seve OB

yea i like feherty, just a pity he isn't on sky

you get the odd quote on sky that you can tell is someone trying to be like allies, but they just can't deliver it

Potential Underachiever

PARlance wrote: »

Two legends here:

Commentating on Jiminezs' warmup routine:

Yeah I love that, comedy gold!

Potential Underachiever

I also like Radar as a roving commentator on the course, he adds a bit of comedy to proceedings and excitement.

RikkFlair

I can't remember the exact quotes but his commentary on the utterly bizarre meltdown by Jean Van De Velde at the 1999 Open only added to the event...something along the lines of "somebody hose that man down and get him a brandy"

Ronney

One of his best was

"I got aroused watching Carol Vorderman on countdowns the other day .




..........seven letters........not bad!"

vienne86

Kingswood Rover wrote: »

I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.

I think you are saying what a lot of people are thinking but can't manage to put into words.....but you have. He will be sorely missed commentating on the Open, and as you say, Sky would do well to try and get hold of him....though, I wonder would he cross to the dark side....

Raisins

My favorite is:

"Oh a little heavy, almost perfect...a bit like Kate Winslet".

Goldenjohn

Interview on newstalk

http://www.newstalk.com/player/podcasts/Off_The_Ball/Off_The_Ball_Highlights/78105/0/bbc_commentator_peter_alliss_on_his_career_and_future

titlebearer

Great interview. I enjoyed listening to him. Pity it will be his last open :-(

Dr_Colossus

On the first day of last year's Open Championship he was commenting on the popularity of all the white trousers amongst the golfers and how he couldn't understand why they were now so common. He commented saying The Open looked more like a painter and decorators convention than a major golf championship.
Along with the classic comedy gold he comes out with he also has a great recollection of weird and unusual stories of old which can be very entertaining also. Sorely missed.

ziggy

This post has been deleted.

Whyner

"Neither line nor pace."

BigChap1759

Goldenjohn wrote: »

Interview on newstalk

http://www.newstalk.com/player/podcasts/Off_The_Ball/Off_The_Ball_Highlights/78105/0/bbc_commentator_peter_alliss_on_his_career_and_future

Just listened to this - very enjoyable, the time just flies listening to him.....such a simple outlook on things and very nice to hear.

fearruanua

After tiger winning one of his british opens i remember the camera zooming in on his then wife elin nordegren and Alliss saying

"oooohh i say, tiger is in for a little treat tonight!! -Pause- dinner and wine of course"

SevesThreeIron

Enjoyed his Newstalk interview. He's an easy man to listen to. What a way to wrap up the interview, totally off the cuff, talking about Ireland and playing here over the years and how he enjoyed it: 'memories are better than dreams'.

FixdePitchmark

SevesThreeIron wrote: »

Enjoyed his Newstalk interview. He's an easy man to listen to. What a way to wrap up the interview, totally off the cuff, talking about Ireland and playing here over the years and how he enjoyed it: 'memories are better than dreams'.

Was class.

He is a very interesting man.

Besides his commentary - his own story is interesting.


Could be a good book to read ?

SevesThreeIron

FixdePitchmark wrote: »

Was class.

He is a very interesting man.

Besides his commentary - his own story is interesting.


Could be a good book to read ?

He's had a few books over the years I think, one main life story about 10 years ago. Never read it but must. Would be tough as a ghost writer I'd say to capture his voice in print. Might go something like; 'My dear old friend Fix, he snuck a little seven iron onto the first green in Corballis and walked away as proud as punch. My oh my.'

delthedriver

Peter Alis , a gentleman and legend in his commentaries !:D


Sky must win him over. The Open will not be the same without him.

simon334

Camara zooms out from an Evian water stand, "amazing timing Evian have, if you think about it, thousands of years filtering though the alps and get it you with a best before in August"

Genius........

Rikand

Someone help me here. I seem to remember a BBC compilation from a few years ago where Greg Norman is hitting a shot into the 17th/18th and due to a technical glitch Alliss' voice booms out over a tannoy explaining what's facing Norman....

Norman backs off the shot laughing and says out loud :: " Is he gonna tell me out to play the shot ? "

Compu Global Hyper Meganet

I can't remember it exactly, but he was on commentary duty and commenting on how having children can adversely affect the performance of a golfer. He wrapped it up by adding: "having said all that Jack Nicklaus had a wonderful career and he was married with children in his early 20's. Yes, Jack was very....prolific at a young age!"

Made even better when you imagine it being said with a wry smile and in that dry delivery. He will be sorely missed.

Senecio

Looks like he's just added another classic quote.

"Looks like his mother, or perhaps he just likes older women". In reference to Paul Dunne walking off the the 18th and hugging an older woman.

Classic Alliss.

Potential Underachiever

I believe he referred to Wiesberber wearing a snood as 'poncey' that amused me!

Running Balance

See the young guy busking on the bag pipes and when these guys who looked Indian/Pakistan passed by he said 'they wouldn't put anything in'

Dr Devious

Running Balance wrote: »

See the young guy busking on the bag pipes and when these guys who looked Indian/Pakistan passed by he said 'they wouldn't put anything in'

Ha ha I noticed that remark at the time too.

stockdam

I think he said something like this today:

"It's great to have a beautiful bird come towards you"

He was talking about a seagull flying towards the camera.

bustercherry

Been a few casually racist (and borderline sexist) quotes from him this weekend but to be expected.

Still can't believe this buffoon is seen a some sort of national treasure by the Brits but again they were blinded by the BBC over Saville and his ilk too.

RikkFlair

The camera showed someone windsurfing the other day and Alliss said something about trying that a few years back with Laura Davies standing on his shoulders :pac:

finglashoop

Ronney wrote: »

One of his best was

"I got aroused watching Carol Vorderman on countdowns the other day .




..........seven letters........not bad!"

the extra long pause and the laughing in the background. majestic

mickmackey1

The lady reporter on the radio said today that Schwartzel was unlucky 'to have a crow pecking his ball'

tayto lover

bustercherry wrote: »

Been a few casually racist (and borderline sexist) quotes from him this weekend but to be expected.

Still can't believe this buffoon is seen a some sort of national treasure by the Brits but again they were blinded by the BBC over Saville and his ilk too.

He can be very entertaining and Golf needs commentators like that.