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Peter Alliss Quotes

  • 06-02-2015 03:05PM
    #1
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭


    With the BBC making a massive Boo Boo getting rid of the golf, I was thinking about Peter Alliss. Love him or hate him, I always found that listening to him talking about the golf enjoyable.

    I was watching Sky Sports golf last night and they had Gary Christian on the commentary. It was like I was watching the Niall Quinn of golf commentary. He was bringing nothing to the discussion just blatantly obvious quotes like "Tiger is really struggling with his short game"... right after he bladed a sand wedge 30 yards over the green... I even felt like muting the TV.

    So with Alliss gone are we in for boring Sky Sports commentary or will the new generation step up? Granted Feherty can be amusing!
    Tagged:


«134

Comments

  • #2
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭titlebearer


    "I can't see, unless the weather changes, the conditions changing dramatically."


  • #3
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 1,766 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    from this article (but I remember it myself)

    "Nick Greenwood reminds me of my all-time favourite quote from Sir Peter. (I have bestowed the knighthood). It concerned the golfer Chris DiMarco, whose mother had died shortly before the tournament. He was playing well, and in that uniquely religiose American way he attributed this to his mother, who was watching from heaven and urging him on.

    Then he missed a crucial putt. "Ooh," said Sir Peter, "Mom must have just popped out for a cup of tea."


  • #4
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭titlebearer


    Very good. Another classic is

    "It's like turning up to hear Pavarotti sing and finding out he has laryngitis". (Of Tiger Woods' 81 in the 3rd round of the 2002 Open Championship)


  • #5
    squadro
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 904 ✭✭✭squadro


    One of the good things about Scottish rain is that most of it ends up as scotch.


  • #6
    valoren
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,666 ✭✭✭valoren


    “5, 5, 5, 4, 7…It’s like the dialling code for Tierra del Feugo.”

    Describing the first five holes of Duffy Waldorf in the 2nd round of the 2002 Open Championship at Muirfield.


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  • #7
    razorblunt
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,300 ✭✭✭✭razorblunt


    The parody account on twitter is fantastic, it must be said. By Jove.


  • #8
    Dayor Knight
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 774 ✭✭✭Dayor Knight


    "Go easy on the chips, old boy" to/about a fat lad shown briefly lying in the sun..... funny at the time anyway!


  • #9
    ShriekingSheet
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,476 ✭✭✭ShriekingSheet


    Ive been on Boards for 12 years.

    I'd just like to say, this thread has the potential to be the best thread of all time.

    My personal favourite quote: "It's not over yet".

    After Phil Mickelson holes an 18 foot putt on the 72nd hole at Augusta to win the Masters. (Not two-putting for a play-off)

    He's an institution.


  • #10
    scrubber72
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,215 ✭✭✭scrubber72


    His hall of fame speech is epic.
    http://youtu.be/N_HSJ8niuKE


  • #11
    Unglika Norse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 318 ✭✭Unglika Norse


    I loved the one about the pro who held the putter in a weird way, can't remember his name, but the man said, more or less, "

    Oh my god, I havn't seen a grip like that, since they closed the public toilets at paddington station.

    Legendary


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  • #12
    sky6
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,445 ✭✭✭sky6


    Unglika Norse wrote: »
    I loved the one about the pro who held the putter in a weird way, can't remember his name, but the man said, more or less, "

    Oh my god, I havn't seen a grip like that, since they closed the public toilets at paddington station.

    Legendary


    Now that is a Classic.

    He was so dry with some of his sayings that he didn't even realise he was being funny.


  • #13
    Kingswood Rover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 778 ✭✭✭Kingswood Rover


    I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.


  • #14
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭titlebearer


    I agree completely. When I was growing up I fell in love with the game of golf. I'm still infatuated with the game today. As bad as i play on a Saturday in my local club I remember the days watching Langer, Monty and Woods playing golf and listening to Alliss imaging that on a good day I could shoot a good score. The game was more than a game with Aliss. He is an institution of the game and he is the reason people turned on and stayed watching from the start on Thursday to the end in Sunday. He was witty and intelligent.

    I still watch sky sports golf but they lack charm and continue to rely on technology. The trackman is cool but I often turn off the program and wish I could listen to Alliss and his ilk.

    "As the cock crows, it's only about 200 yards."




    Kingswood Rover wrote: »
    I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.


  • #15
    tayto lover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2, Paid Member Posts: 56,396 ✭✭✭✭tayto lover


    "It's a funny old game. One day you're a statue, the next you're a pigeon."


  • #16
    Seve OB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,477 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    One of my favourites, years ago, the Womens Weetabix British Open. It was a scorcher of a day and a young Paula Creamer, new on the golf scene, probably not much older than 18, was looking as sexy as hell, pink ribbon in her hair, little skimpy mini skirt, camera man zooms in on her just walking along...........
    ............... silence.........(Alliss is deep in thought)........ more silence..........
    then out he blurts, just 2 words.......... but it was the way he said it

    Icceeeeee
    Creamerrrrrrrrrrr


  • #17
    PARlance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,401 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    "He hasn't got any good points to his swing that a bit of tuition couldn't ruin."


  • #18
    Seve OB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,477 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    one i wrote last year

    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showpost.php?p=91348481&postcount=472
    Seve OB wrote: »
    I think he is class. I can't remember who hit it, but a ball went way into the rough yesterday evening, behind the crowd, and young lad ran to it, pint glass in hand, ducked under a rope and stopped dead over the ball and Alliss commentated "what an athlete, didn't even spill a drop" and "how can you drink beer and have a body like that"

    I think he can be quite funny and IMO, he is the voice of golf, it just wouldn't be the same without him. I only wish he was on every week.


  • #19
    PARlance
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 22,401 ✭✭✭✭PARlance


    Two legends here:

    Commentating on Jiminezs' warmup routine: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=UV_SR6YnBLs&autoplay=1


  • #20
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭titlebearer


    That's hilarious. Would you then consider David Feherty a new generation Alliss?


  • #21
    Seve OB
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,477 ✭✭✭✭Seve OB


    yea i like feherty, just a pity he isn't on sky :(

    you get the odd quote on sky that you can tell is someone trying to be like allies, but they just can't deliver it


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  • #22
    Potential Underachiever
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,004 ✭✭✭Potential Underachiever


    PARlance wrote: »
    Two legends here:

    Commentating on Jiminezs' warmup routine:

    Yeah I love that, comedy gold!


  • #23
    Potential Underachiever
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,004 ✭✭✭Potential Underachiever


    I also like Radar as a roving commentator on the course, he adds a bit of comedy to proceedings and excitement.


  • #24
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,117 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    I can't remember the exact quotes but his commentary on the utterly bizarre meltdown by Jean Van De Velde at the 1999 Open only added to the event...something along the lines of "somebody hose that man down and get him a brandy"


  • #25
    Ronney
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 874 ✭✭✭Ronney


    One of his best was

    "I got aroused watching Carol Vorderman on countdowns the other day .




    ..........seven letters........not bad!"


  • #26
    vienne86
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,078 ✭✭✭✭vienne86


    Kingswood Rover wrote: »
    I hate all that uppity class crap that goes on within golf clubs especially that suedo Anglo stuff that pervades some the more established clubs here and Peter Alliss typifies a lot of this type of culture.."Oh i was having a G and T with yours truly from Wokingham and Snobsville and they mentioned that the planning of their 125th anniversary celebrations was coming along swimmingly until the lady captain ran away with the head greenkeepeer" why do i like this guy i ask myself, he is the antitheses of everything that i despise in our class riven society, but he is also everything i like in a human being in that he listens to peoples stories and then always talks about their positive attributes .....and the way he calmly deals with the camera mans curve ball swivel of the Tripod off to a local scene miles out on the horizon in a "right now i'll get that Tory twat" attitude is without doubt the best part of watching the Open. Peter Aliss could make the Bradcombe and Didcott TIddleywinks regional qualifiers sound interesting with his observations on life and the fact that if you lived in the pale you don't have to pay to hear his witticisms well, that's just jelly and ice cream. Sky could do worse than getting him onside for the first couple of years of transition.

    I think you are saying what a lot of people are thinking but can't manage to put into words.....but you have. He will be sorely missed commentating on the Open, and as you say, Sky would do well to try and get hold of him....though, I wonder would he cross to the dark side....


  • #27
    Raisins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 522 ✭✭✭Raisins


    My favorite is:

    "Oh a little heavy, almost perfect...a bit like Kate Winslet".


  • #28
    Goldenjohn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 393 ✭✭Goldenjohn


    Interview on newstalk

    http://www.newstalk.com/player/podcasts/Off_The_Ball/Off_The_Ball_Highlights/78105/0/bbc_commentator_peter_alliss_on_his_career_and_future


  • #29
    titlebearer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 47 ✭titlebearer


    Great interview. I enjoyed listening to him. Pity it will be his last open :-(


  • #30
    Dr_Colossus
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,374 ✭✭✭Dr_Colossus


    On the first day of last year's Open Championship he was commenting on the popularity of all the white trousers amongst the golfers and how he couldn't understand why they were now so common. He commented saying The Open looked more like a painter and decorators convention than a major golf championship.
    Along with the classic comedy gold he comes out with he also has a great recollection of weird and unusual stories of old which can be very entertaining also. Sorely missed.


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  • #31
    ziggy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭ziggy


    This post has been deleted.


This discussion has been closed.
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