General Chat Thread (PLEASE READ POST #1)

Toots

Esterhase wrote: »

There's.... there's a board game? :eek:
Sounds like the kind of game that might pop up at some hen parties this year!

Oh there's not just a board game! There's a whole range of "adult toys" also. Feckin cringeworthy altogether! Some highlights include:

The Foil Packet Condoms (12 pack)
We Aim To Please Vibrating Bullet
Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls
Please, Sir Flogger
Spank Me Please Spanking Ruler
You. Are. Mine. Metal Handcuffs
Charlie Tango Classic Vibrator
Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle
Christian's Grey Tie

The worst part is I'm not making this up. These are actually just a handful of products from what seems to be a massive range. Oh and the cherry on the cake, the quote from E.L. James on the packaging:

"I'm so excited that the toys I described in the books have come to life!"

Yeah, cos nobody had ever heard of a vibrator before the release of 50 Shades. Puke.

Esterhase

I almost want the Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls just to own a box with that name written on it!

I bet they are selling like mad, so I hope they're at least decent quality gizmos... Really struggling not to Google at work right now. I want to know what the 'spanking ruler' looks like. I'm imagining the type of blue plastic ruler I had at school with 'Spank Me Please' written where 'Shatter Resistant' should be. :pac:

Scarinae

Esterhase wrote: »

I want to know what the 'spanking ruler' looks like. I'm imagining the type of blue plastic ruler I had at school with 'Spank Me Please' written where 'Shatter Resistant' should be. :pac:

When I was eight or so I had a Bendy Puffin Ruler (a bendy ruler from the Puffin Book Club), which some of the boys in my class discovered was really good for hitting people with and it made a loud SMACK noise. So that's what I'm imagining - maybe without the puffin picture on it though

liz lemoncello

Esterhase wrote: »

I almost want the Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls just to own a box with that name written on it!...

If I ever have an all-girl heavy metal band, we will be known as "The Inner Goddess Silver Pleasure Balls".

Esterhase

Yeah what you want is a nice flexible ruler that you can bend back a bit, resulting in a good satisfying bang.

Like one of these bad boys:


liz lemoncello - I can't wait to buy your merchandise! I will wear those tshirts and blindfold/tie related accessories with pride.

fits

Best thread title ever!!!!


Ex Crashed My Wedding – DH arrested (My Real Life Wedding Nightmare)

Read more: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/ex-crashed-my-wedding-dh-arrested-my-real-life-wedding-nightmare/#ixzz3WetX4Syw

Toots

Jesus wept, that poor woman (and the husband) I see on her last post that the venue is pressing charges on psycho ex for trespassing.

My cousin was going out with a guy for a few years, and they broke up - nothing acrimonious, but he was devastated (she initiated the breakup) Not long after they broke up, a new guy started where my cousin was working and it was love at first sight after a fairly whirlwind romance - less than a year I think - they got engaged, and the date was set for about 6 months after that.

The night before the wedding, my cousin's ex showed up at the house (she was still living at home) in a last ditch attempt to win her back. Luckily she wasn't there, because she and her sisters were out doing some last minute bits before the wedding. My uncle was less than impressed, and told him to take a hike. Nobody told her about it until after they got back from the honeymoon, because they didn't want her head all over the place on the wedding day. Luckily she saw the funny side of it, and she's been happily married to her husband for about 18 years. We were all saying though that it was SO lucky he didn't do anything mad like show up at the reception!

January

Something similar happened at my wedding, except it wasn't a psycho ex it was just a psycho.

We got married local to where we live and where I grew up. My dad met two girls from the area who himself and my mam would have been friendly with their mam before she died and when they asked what he was doing in the hotel (it was new years eve) he told them I was getting married and invited them in to see me and say hello.

Unfortunately they decided to stay and hound the dance floor and rather than ask them to leave (I didn't want a scene, silly me!) I let them stay said as long as they weren't causing trouble they were grand.

Well about 15 minutes after midnight I was outside with my husband he was having a smoke and next of all I see the DJ legging it past me saying he needed to get security (thank you btw because I know he posts here) and I find out that something happened on the dance floor someone must have bumped into someone or something but the girl bit one of my groomsmen as he was trying to get her out of the room, bit an aunt on the chin, punched a cousin in the eye and had thrown a glass and knocked out another aunties teeth!! She had to be dragged out of the room by security and pulled nearly every bar table and tree decoration down with her as she went!

It was horrible, I thought our wedding was ruined but thankfully the guests that were still there sat with myself and my husband until nearly 4.30 am and reassured us they had a fab time and not to let one psycho ruin my wedding.

LynnGrace

Toots wrote: »

The night before the wedding, my cousin's ex showed up at the house (she was still living at home) in a last ditch attempt to win her back. Luckily she wasn't there, because she and her sisters were out doing some last minute bits before the wedding. My uncle was less than impressed, and told him to take a hike. Nobody told her about it until after they got back from the honeymoon, because they didn't want her head all over the place on the wedding day. Luckily she saw the funny side of it, and she's been happily married to her husband for about 18 years. We were all saying though that it was SO lucky he didn't do anything mad like show up at the reception!

This made me think of the scene in a Friends where Rachel flies to London, determined to tell Ross that she loves him.
The ex must have been really anxious to get her back, I think your uncle did the right thing though.

Neyite

January wrote: »

It was horrible, I thought our wedding was ruined but thankfully the guests that were still there sat with myself and my husband until nearly 4.30 am and reassured us they had a fab time and not to let one psycho ruin my wedding.

I look back on your wedding and there's so much beautiful memories to remember from that day. I'd pretty much forgotten about yer wan. I'm sure you haven't though.:mad: Rest assured, she did NOT spoil your wedding. I for one, had an absolute blast!

Neyite

LynnGrace wrote: »

This made me think of the scene in a Friends where Rachel flies to London, determined to tell Ross that she loves him.
The ex must have been really anxious to get her back, I think your uncle did the right thing though.

Or he was a possessive nutter?

I know its the norm in Tellyland for every single wedding to be disrupted in some way by an ex or some other disaster, but in reality, that behaviour is insane.

LynnGrace

Neyite wrote: »

Or he was a possessive nutter?

I know its the norm in Tellyland for every single wedding to be disrupted in some way by an ex or some other disaster, but in reality, that behaviour is insane.

Oh yeah, I agree, I had phrased it more strongly at first ...

LynnGrace

January wrote: »

Something similar happened at my wedding, except it wasn't a psycho ex it was just a psycho.

It was horrible, I thought our wedding was ruined but thankfully the guests that were still there sat with myself and my husband until nearly 4.30 am and reassured us they had a fab time and not to let one psycho ruin my wedding.

What a rotten thing to happen!

Toots

Neyite wrote: »

Or he was a possessive nutter?

I know its the norm in Tellyland for every single wedding to be disrupted in some way by an ex or some other disaster, but in reality, that behaviour is insane.

I think in this case the guy was really genuinely in love with my cousin and was really devastated that she was getting married. I she was "the one" for him, and he'd always held out hope that they'd get back together and live happily ever after.

Neyite

Toots wrote: »

I think in this case the guy was really genuinely in love with my cousin and was really devastated that she was getting married. I she was "the one" for him, and he'd always held out hope that they'd get back together and live happily ever after.

Sadly, I had an ex like that. We lasted barely a year and it took him years to stop pining over me, and tbh, it was no great romance in the first place, and I'm about as special as the next person, he'd just built up this in his head. I met him 10 years later when I was 29 and he was still lamenting our break up. I was a totally different person to the one he thought he remembered. What a waste of time for him.

Thumby

Came across this thread last week i think it was, and started reading it. I am now addicted to reading the wedding disasters on that other website thanks to this thread, found a corker of a one but not sure if i can link to it or if that's still allowed. If someone lets me know if that's ok, i will. It's got to be the most grabbiest money hungry wedding thread i've ever come across and thanks to the boards wedding forum that's a lot in recent weeks

allym

Thumby wrote: »

Came across this thread last week i think it was, and started reading it. I am now addicted to reading the wedding disasters on that other website thanks to this thread, found a corker of a one but not sure if i can link to it or if that's still allowed. If someone lets me know if that's ok, i will. It's got to be the most grabbiest money hungry wedding thread i've ever come across and thanks to the boards wedding forum that's a lot in recent weeks

Doooo it

Thumby

allym wrote: »

Doooo it

:D

You're really twisting my arm here, I've no choice now...

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2138616-Oh-do-I-have-a-new-low-in-wedding-poems-for-you?pg=1&messages=100

allym

Thumby wrote: »

:D

You're really twisting my arm here, I've no choice now...

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2138616-Oh-do-I-have-a-new-low-in-wedding-poems-for-you?pg=1&messages=100

I knew it would be mumsnet :pac:


Edit: I just read it. Holy god!!

Thumby

I know. Asking for money before the wedding is bad enough, throw in the fact that guests had to pay for their own dinner and then get that email, it just beggers belief. I wouldn't be able to hold myself in check.

Toots

It's grand to post a link, once there's nothing that'll identify the couple.

XxMCRxBabyxX

After a while I just started reading all the posts as if they were a poem!

Toots

Ah mumsnet, once again you fail to disappoint!

Thumby

XxMCRxBabyxX wrote: »

After a while I just started reading all the posts as if they were a poem!

So glad i'm not the only one lol.

Ah toots, this forum has me addicted to mumsnet wedding threads. They're all nuts!!!

But seriously talk about having a neck like a jockeys nether regions.

allym

Just found this

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1008339-Worst-behaviour-seen-at-a-wedding


Oh. My. God! Some of the stories in this are insane!!

Thumby

allym wrote: »

Just found this one

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1008339-Worst-behaviour-seen-at-a-wedding?pg=7&order=


Oh. My. God! Some of the stories in this are insane!!

Im getting a 404 error 😢😢

allym

Thumby wrote: »

Im getting a 404 error 😢😢

Sorry I think I fixed it there!

Thumby

allym wrote: »

Sorry I think I fixed it there!

Nope. Feck it could have done with tbe giggle too. I know its wrong to laugh at others misfortune but even jesus wept at these posts lol.

liz lemoncello

Thumby, it works for me.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1008339-Worst-behaviour-seen-at-a-wedding?pg=7&order=

Thumby

liz lemoncello wrote: »

Thumby, it works for me.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/1008339-Worst-behaviour-seen-at-a-wedding?pg=7&order=

Woohoo its working now. A bit of light sunday morning reading with my brekkie.

Hubby to be doesnt understand why im so fascinated with mumsnet right now. So ive told him i'm finding out what not to do so i dont end up becoming a bridezilla. He laughed at me then.