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Having a girl over for first time need advice.

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    #92
    The other fella
    Registered Users Posts: 596 ✭✭✭The other fella


    AndonHandon wrote: »
    No.

    This is complete horse manure, please nobody believe it.

    Case law has definitively set out that there is a difference between consenting to the act of sex and consenting on foot of a promise; the girl is consenting to having sex and if the guy is lying then that is irrelevant as she has consented to having sex.

    I thought as much.The only countries i could find that have her version of the law in bold print are USA and Israel.

    I couldnt imagine a law like the one shes describing in this country, every moody bitch who didnt like the fella she woke up next to on a sunday morning could just say "He claimed his penis was double the size it actually is, ive been raped!"


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    #93
    wexandproud
    Registered Users Posts: 1,063 ✭✭✭wexandproud


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    Fraud as to my means cannot vitiate consent, I know this as I am a lawyer in training which also makes me unwilling to tell her the truth as my cash flow situation will likely resolve itself in the next month or two when I settle in my new position.

    after reading your first post i thought you were acting like a bit of an a..hole , but after reading this and the rest of your posts it was confirmed.
    although, if you cant tell the truth you will probable make a good lawyer , if even that's true


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    #94
    DoYouEvenLift
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,188 ✭✭✭DoYouEvenLift


    macyard wrote: »
    If she thought it was fraud I guess, but telling a person you are well off use a fancy car good clothes but really you are poor it is fraud and if you use that to have sex it's rape


    I thought people used their genitals to have sex


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    #95
    CINCLANTFLT
    Closed Accounts Posts: 781 ✭✭✭CINCLANTFLT


    Back to the issue in hand... Air B n B your own place for a week to get an awesome apartment from someone else for one night... The night's your own place is occupied, you can sleep in one of the emergency homeless beds opened for Christmas! Sorted... Thank you!


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    #96
    Cee-Jay-Cee
    Registered Users Posts: 12,235 ✭✭✭✭Cee-Jay-Cee


    Considering the whole thing is made up and yok still live at home with your mammy and hsve never had a girlfriend then you have nothing to worry about. Just tell your pretend GF that you won the euro millions but haven't collected the cheque yet as your waiting for the news to die down. Then go find your special sock and do what you do best.


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    #97
    not yet
    Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    Mickey H wrote: »
    OP, I'll leave this here.

    Could you not have left that somewhere else..?


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    #98
    Tugboats
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 2,011 ✭✭✭Tugboats


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    A girl I've been seeing for a while now is coming over to my place to chill for the first time tomorrow, I dress exceptionally well and drive a nice car but the car was a gift the the clothes are the fruits of a part time job I no longer have. I only moved into this new pad last week and it's terribly under furnished. I have built a certain image and I don't want her to be turned off when she enters the poverty zone, it will be a few months before I have the capital raised to furnish this place to my taste so I don't have any other options.

    I was thinking I could tell her I was waiting to have stuff delivered from Switzerland or some other trendy country (France is very in right now as well) and then further obscure my current cash flow issues trough an elaborate story.

    I was thinking that I would make a mess in the toilet but as she is walking in to use it I will charge in ahead of her and act totally disgusted and claim the package in the bowl was made not by me but my maid. I would then ring 'the maid' (played on the phone by my sister or one of her friends ((who are all part of the gaiety school of acting))(((not related to the gaiety theatre))) and 'fire' her for making a mess of my toilet.

    The purpose of this yarn would be twofold 1) it would show that I have a maid and nobody with cash flow problems would ever hire one 2) it would show I value cleanliness as a virtue 3) it would show I have an authoritative streak which would ease her mind even if she was in fact suspicious of my cash flow situation as no man with such authority and clarity of action would ever be subject to cash flow issues for long.

    What says after hours to my plan? The only accomplice I require is the credulity of a beautiful girl and I promise on my honour I will reveal my treachery should I ever seek her hand in marriage.

    Did the Nikkei stop rising?


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    #99
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,066 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    Make your home more welcome to members of the opposite sex by having a selection of feminine hygiene products available for her to choose from. Perhaps some natural yoghurt to promote good intestinal flora?


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    #100
    Chickentown
    Registered Users Posts: 252 ✭✭Chickentown


    macyard wrote: »
    He is using fraud to to sleep with her buy falsifying his means, she cannot consent on a lie so it's rape.

    He is coning her into having sex with him cause she thinks he is well off but he really is poor and has nothing to offer

    So this classy girl will only fuk a guy with money, in my opinion she deserves to be...


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    #101
    donegaLroad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭donegaLroad


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    A girl I've been seeing for a while now is coming over to my place to chill for the first time tomorrow, I dress exceptionally well and drive a nice car but the car was a gift the the clothes are the fruits of a part time job I no longer have. I only moved into this new pad last week and it's terribly under furnished. I have built a certain image and I don't want her to be turned off when she enters the poverty zone, it will be a few months before I have the capital raised to furnish this place to my taste so I don't have any other options.

    I was thinking I could tell her I was waiting to have stuff delivered from Switzerland or some other trendy country (France is very in right now as well) and then further obscure my current cash flow issues trough an elaborate story.

    I was thinking that I would make a mess in the toilet but as she is walking in to use it I will charge in ahead of her and act totally disgusted and claim the package in the bowl was made not by me but my maid. I would then ring 'the maid' (played on the phone by my sister or one of her friends ((who are all part of the gaiety school of acting))(((not related to the gaiety theatre))) and 'fire' her for making a mess of my toilet.

    The purpose of this yarn would be twofold 1) it would show that I have a maid and nobody with cash flow problems would ever hire one 2) it would show I value cleanliness as a virtue 3) it would show I have an authoritative streak which would ease her mind even if she was in fact suspicious of my cash flow situation as no man with such authority and clarity of action would ever be subject to cash flow issues for long.

    What says after hours to my plan? The only accomplice I require is the credulity of a beautiful girl and I promise on my honour I will reveal my treachery should I ever seek her hand in marriage.

    OP, girls are often warned:

    'believe half of what you see, and none of what you hear'...

    ever hear that one?


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    #102
    kylith
    Registered Users Posts: 17,736 ✭✭✭✭kylith


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    A girl I've been seeing for a while now is coming over to my place to chill for the first time tomorrow, I dress exceptionally well and drive a nice car but the car was a gift the the clothes are the fruits of a part time job I no longer have. I only moved into this new pad last week and it's terribly under furnished. I have built a certain image and I don't want her to be turned off when she enters the poverty zone, it will be a few months before I have the capital raised to furnish this place to my taste so I don't have any other options.

    I was thinking I could tell her I was waiting to have stuff delivered from Switzerland or some other trendy country (France is very in right now as well) and then further obscure my current cash flow issues trough an elaborate story.

    I was thinking that I would make a mess in the toilet but as she is walking in to use it I will charge in ahead of her and act totally disgusted and claim the package in the bowl was made not by me but my maid. I would then ring 'the maid' (played on the phone by my sister or one of her friends ((who are all part of the gaiety school of acting))(((not related to the gaiety theatre))) and 'fire' her for making a mess of my toilet.

    The purpose of this yarn would be twofold 1) it would show that I have a maid and nobody with cash flow problems would ever hire one 2) it would show I value cleanliness as a virtue 3) it would show I have an authoritative streak which would ease her mind even if she was in fact suspicious of my cash flow situation as no man with such authority and clarity of action would ever be subject to cash flow issues for long.

    What says after hours to my plan? The only accomplice I require is the credulity of a beautiful girl and I promise on my honour I will reveal my treachery should I ever seek her hand in marriage.

    I think it's a fine plan! She'll be able to see what a pretentious knob-headed twat you are at a nice early juncture in the relationship so she can run a mile before she gets in too deep.


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    #103
    Joeface
    Registered Users Posts: 2,870 ✭✭✭Joeface


    This is all that comes to mind. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AGf9LbqyZk


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    #104
    Sunnyisland
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,562 ✭✭✭✭Sunnyisland


    As the OP seems a bit unreal now read the truth,

    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have a dinner with her parents .

    Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time .

    The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms . He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour . He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex ..

    At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack .
    The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all .

    That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door .
    "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

    The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated .
    The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head . A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down .


    10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy .
    Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious . '


    The boy turns, and whispers back,
    'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist . '
    __________________


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    #105
    sbsquarepants
    Registered Users Posts: 11,812 ✭✭✭✭sbsquarepants


    macyard wrote: »
    Tell her the truth if you lie it could be considered rape if she sleeps with you and she consented on the lie you gave.

    Not worth going to jail over

    Fúck.
    I've just realised I'm a serial rapist.
    I'll plead multiple personality disorder if it ever comes to trial, that person, your honour, truly believed they in fact were, ahem...... an architect / musician / professional footballer / trainee doctor / a student of politics / a reincarnated soldier and present day medium (don't ask) / and the most shamefull of all..........Ronan Keeting's tour manager.
    The art of spinning a girl an aul yarn is an age old tradition, good (if somewhat pretentious) work OP. Carry on.:D


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    #106
    BBJBIG
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 277 ✭✭BBJBIG


    Just burn the House down about 10 minutes before she arrives. Solves all your problems.


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    #107
    Pig Ignorant Paddy
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 21 ✭Pig Ignorant Paddy


    Buy a discoball for your apartment. And stick on some Barry White. Women love little touches like that.


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    #108
    not yet
    Registered Users Posts: 7,008 ✭✭✭not yet


    Bring her to the four seasons hotel....

    As you walk into the lobby causally say, what do ya think of me gaf.


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    #109
    BBJBIG
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 277 ✭✭BBJBIG


    Git back to us and let us know if ya git .... de Roide ....


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    #110
    dmc17
    Registered Users Posts: 3,729 ✭✭✭dmc17


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    A girl I've been seeing for a while now is coming over to my place to chill for the first time tomorrow

    If the nikkei keeps rising, you should make an investment ;)


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    #111
    Squeeonline
    Registered Users Posts: 2,554 ✭✭✭Squeeonline


    I was hoping for another Feakie story. We were all rooting for that lad to get the ride from his teacher.

    If OP is not a troll, I want her to slap him.


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    #112
    BBJBIG
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 277 ✭✭BBJBIG


    So ... where did Jack d Lad go ?
    We need an update .... ;)


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    #113
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    AndonHandon wrote: »
    No.

    This is complete horse manure, please nobody believe it.

    Case law has definitively set out that there is a difference between consenting to the act of sex and consenting on foot of a promise; the girl is consenting to having sex and if the guy is lying then that is irrelevant as she has consented to having sex.

    And they say romance is dead :p

    I'd imagine macy thinks he's a searing satire on feminism, strange way to spend your time and poorly executed to boot imo.


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    #114
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    OP sounds like a really crap Patrick Bateman


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    #115
    dresden8
    Registered Users Posts: 3,289 ✭✭✭dresden8


    This thread really does prove what utterly blind, humourless idiots most people are.

    Bravo OP, I salute you sir.


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    #116
    TheBegotten
    Registered Users Posts: 541 ✭✭✭TheBegotten


    Feck sake, just as it was getting interesting too. I was looking forwards to a second date :( Might even get some of those sounds of sodomy with the stick up his arse :D


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