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Having a girl over for first time need advice.

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24

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    #32
    WoollyRedHat
    Registered Users Posts: 10,462 ✭✭✭✭WoollyRedHat


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    From the evidence in this thread you can gather

    I have purchased my own abode
    I was and will be engaged in the legal profession
    I have written a book
    I am courting a beautiful girl

    I am no child

    What about delusional, you forgot about that. Say, do you like rabbits?


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    #33
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 5,148 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    If anything, I'm impressed by your use of brackets in the OP.


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    #34
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 5,148 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    By the way, is she a Brazilian model?


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    #35
    RDM_83 again
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,116 ✭✭✭RDM_83 again


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    Heavens no!

    There is a clear bias in favour of metropolitan 'nouveau riche' I must hide anything that would lead her to believe I am old money.

    Hmmm ok then, you should make sure to have a copy of Machiavelli's The Prince open on the table to show your all about power and improving your social position.
    Also buy lots of "tasteful nude" Black and White posters


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    #36
    mfergus
    Registered Users Posts: 326 ✭✭mfergus


    Larianne wrote: »
    OP, go to bed. School in the morning.

    I think he was already in bed, that's where this dream started...


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    #37
    FISMA
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,616 ✭✭✭FISMA


    Lay the gob on her asap.

    If you talk like you write, you'll lose her before the kettle is boiled.


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    #38
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    PizzamanIRL wrote: »
    By the way, is she a Brazilian model?

    No she's quite wonderful, I do not have the ability to describe her in words but the attempt of it warms my heart.

    She has hair of silk coloured like dragonbone, cheekbones you could cut yourself on, a warm smile and the body of Athena herself. I do not doubt for a second the fire in her blood she is of the gentry in name and spirit and no doubt descends from the Queens of old.


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    #39
    pq0n1ct4ve8zf5
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,070 ✭✭✭✭pq0n1ct4ve8zf5


    Do you know anybody with a swanky apartment you could borrow for the evening? Preferably while their mother in law (who is just DREADFUL) is also staying there, and you should schedule another date for the same night too for good measure. Then just watch a few episodes of frasier and you should be set for any and all eventualities


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    #40
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 5,148 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    No she's quite wonderful, I do not have the ability to describe her in words but the attempt of it warms my heart.

    She has hair of silk coloured like dragonbone, cheekbones you could cut yourself on, a warm smile and the body of Athena herself. I do not doubt for a second the fire in her blood she is of the gentry in name and spirit and no doubt descends from the Queens of old.

    Ah yeah she sounds like a grand auld beoir.


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    #41
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    Jeffrey Most Face wrote: »
    Do you know anybody with a swanky apartment you could borrow for the evening? Preferably while their mother in law (who is just DREADFUL) is also staying there, and you should schedule another date for the same night too for good measure. Then just watch a few episodes of frasier and you should be set for any and all eventualities

    That is all so very unworkable however I must commend your inventiveness and willingness to help even If it is tempered by impracticality.


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    #42
    AndonHandon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,384 ✭✭✭AndonHandon


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    Look I know a relationship built on foundations of untruth is unlikely to bear fruit but I do truly have feelings for this girl and would hate for my interim situation to sully her opinion of my irreconcilably.

    My novel is being considered by several publishers so it shouldn't be all that long before the cash begins to flow.

    If a white lie lead to getting more time with her where you could expose other elements of your personality which ends up leading to a long term relationship with her then go for it.

    What area of the legal profession are you involved in?


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    #43
    macyard
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 380 ✭✭macyard


    AndonHandon wrote: »
    If a white lie lead to getting more time with her where you could expose other elements of your personality which ends up leading to a long term relationship with her then go for it.

    What area of the legal profession are you involved in?

    A lie that leads to sex is rape, his income is not a white lie it's a huge factor on if he can support her in the future


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    #44
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    AndonHandon wrote: »
    If a white lie lead to getting more time with her where you could expose other elements of your personality which ends up leading to a long term relationship with her then go for it.

    What area of the legal profession are you involved in?

    I'm a litigator in the corporate sphere, it's all very banal in truth, more 'Harvey Paperwork' than 'Harvey Specter.


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    #45
    OneArt
    Registered Users Posts: 1,910 ✭✭✭OneArt


    I usually just pull the lever and burn the apartment whilst waiting five minutes for another.

    Surely you've got another apartment as backup, no?


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    #46
    SimonTemplar
    Registered Users Posts: 2,815 ✭✭✭SimonTemplar


    Either the OP is joking or he is the type of person that would feature in an X-Files freak of the week episode.

    The whole making a mess in the bathroom and blaming it on a fictional maid as a way of impressing a girl is just bat sh*t crazy!!


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    #47
    The other fella
    Registered Users Posts: 596 ✭✭✭The other fella


    0
    macyard wrote: »
    If he outright lies about the furniture coming when it's not she is not fully aware and it is rape.

    I thought the OP was the funniest thing i ever heard until i scrolled down and read this beaut of a post! Top drawer stuff.


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    #48
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    SimonTemplar wrote: »
    Either the OP is joking or he is the type of person that would feature in an X-Files freak of the week episode.

    The whole making a mess in the bathroom and blaming it on a fictional maid as a way of impressing a girl is just bat sh*t crazy!!

    I would sooner be found guilty of impropriety than feel the depth of loss that one may only discover through separation beyond one's control.


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    #49
    RobbingBandit
    Registered Users Posts: 18,093 ✭✭✭✭RobbingBandit


    Get someone to beat you up break a few things and say you were robbed, you can do it.


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    #50
    The other fella
    Registered Users Posts: 596 ✭✭✭The other fella


    macyard wrote: »
    Tell her the truth if you lie it could be considered rape if she sleeps with you and she consented on the lie you gave.

    Not worth going to jail over

    You dont happen to be the prosecutor in the Ched Evans case, no?


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    #51
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 5,148 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    RobbingBandit wrote: »
    Get someone to beat you up break a few things and say you were robbed, you can do it.

    I volunteer.


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    #52
    macyard
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 380 ✭✭macyard


    The other fella wrote: »
    0

    I thought the OP was the funniest thing i ever heard until i scrolled down and read this beaut of a post! Top drawer stuff.

    www(.)feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/07/22/on-rape-by-deception/

    ?, Rape by fraud is a real thing


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    #53
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    double post


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    #54
    the nikkei is rising
    Closed Accounts Posts: 178 ✭✭the nikkei is rising


    RobbingBandit wrote: »
    Get someone to beat you up break a few things and say you were robbed, you can do it.

    That would be terrifically hard to convincingly pull off and not altogether convincing in the medium to long term regardless.


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    #55
    Jen Pigs Fly
    Registered Users Posts: 2,770 ✭✭✭Jen Pigs Fly


    Think the op should get a woman of the blow up kind.

    Touch of "I'll wear your face as a mask" to this post.

    You come across as desperate and creepy op ....


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    #56
    The other fella
    Registered Users Posts: 596 ✭✭✭The other fella


    macyard wrote: »
    www(.)feministe.us/blog/archives/2010/07/22/on-rape-by-deception/

    ?, Rape by fraud is a real thing

    So if you tell a girl shes lovely looking, she gets all charmed and drops the knickers, you can be charged with rape the next time she looks in the mirror and realizes shes not lovely looking?


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    #57
    Zaph
    Registered Users, Subscribers Posts: 47,282 ✭✭✭✭Zaph


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    I'm a litigator in the corporate sphere

    Really? Under one of your previous accounts you stated that you were a third year law student.


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    #58
    macyard
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 380 ✭✭macyard


    The other fella wrote: »
    So if you tell a girl shes lovely looking, she gets all charmed and drops the knickers, you can be charged with rape the next time she looks in the mirror and realizes shes not lovely looking?

    If she thought it was fraud I guess, but telling a person you are well off use a fancy car good clothes but really you are poor it is fraud and if you use that to have sex it's rape


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    #59
    evo2000
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,728 ✭✭✭evo2000


    the nikkei is rising wrote: »
    A girl I've been seeing for a while now is coming over to my place to chill for the first time tomorrow, I dress exceptionally well and drive a nice car but the car was a gift the the clothes are the fruits of a part time job I no longer have. I only moved into this new pad last week and it's terribly under furnished. I have built a certain image and I don't want her to be turned off when she enters the poverty zone, it will be a few months before I have the capital raised to furnish this place to my taste so I don't have any other options.

    I was thinking I could tell her I was waiting to have stuff delivered from Switzerland or some other trendy country (France is very in right now as well) and then further obscure my current cash flow issues trough an elaborate story.

    I was thinking that I would make a mess in the toilet but as she is walking in to use it I will charge in ahead of her and act totally disgusted and claim the package in the bowl was made not by me but my maid. I would then ring 'the maid' (played on the phone by my sister or one of her friends ((who are all part of the gaiety school of acting))(((not related to the gaiety theatre))) and 'fire' her for making a mess of my toilet.

    The purpose of this yarn would be twofold 1) it would show that I have a maid and nobody with cash flow problems would ever hire one 2) it would show I value cleanliness as a virtue 3) it would show I have an authoritative streak which would ease her mind even if she was in fact suspicious of my cash flow situation as no man with such authority and clarity of action would ever be subject to cash flow issues for long.

    What says after hours to my plan? The only accomplice I require is the credulity of a beautiful girl and I promise on my honour I will reveal my treachery should I ever seek her hand in marriage.

    Your spinning a web of pointless lies, you ll be caught out and ruin yourself, tell her the truth and stop being a nancy! and if shes so concerned about cash...what does that tell you?!

    By the way, fair dumb move inviting her back to the poverty zone in the first place!


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    #60
    evo2000
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,728 ✭✭✭evo2000


    macyard wrote: »
    If she thought it was fraud I guess, but telling a person you are well off use a fancy car good clothes but really you are poor it is fraud and if you use that to have sex it's rape

    So if you deceive a gold diggin bitch its rape!? go back let yeah!!


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    #61
    macyard
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 380 ✭✭macyard


    evo2000 wrote: »
    So if you deceive a gold diggin bitch its rape!? go back let yeah!!

    Yes legally it's rape by deception.


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