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my girlfriend is in labour and I'm freaking out

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13

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    #62
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,515 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    Seven pounds, twelve ounces. Seven pounds, twelve ounces. La la laaa la HEY la la laaa la HEY


    Oh, it's name is now Georgina


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    #63
    Bog Standard User
    Registered Users Posts: 847 ✭✭✭Bog Standard User


    GrayFox208 wrote: »
    I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

    pack her off in an ambo and head to the pub???? :P

    or go with her and have your hand crushed while she swears at you :P


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    #64
    Bog Standard User
    Registered Users Posts: 847 ✭✭✭Bog Standard User


    kingtut wrote: »
    How do you know it's his? :P

    it's not black its just very tanned :P


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    #65
    kiffer
    Registered Users Posts: 2,097 ✭✭✭kiffer


    At least she's not in Fianna Fáil...


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    #66
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    mauzo! wrote: »
    If she poops while she's giving birth, never ever mention it again. She'll love you for it.

    And if she gets stitches, don't tell them to stitch her up nice and tight, that won't go down well.

    Other than that, wait for baby to be born, let her rest as much as you can and I bet you cry when it comes out :)

    That made me laugh out loud.


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    #67
    Remmy
    Registered Users Posts: 2,921 ✭✭✭Remmy


    slap kettle on, put feet up, you did your bit, she'l take it from here;). Maybe give her a text later on to see whats the craic?


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    #68
    Any key?
    Registered Users Posts: 533 ✭✭✭Any key?


    Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

    This thread has me freaked out *crosses legs*
    Poor hoo haa :(

    I don't envy you (well mostly her).


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    #69
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users Posts: 5,148 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    cloud493 wrote: »
    That made me laugh out loud.

    Noisy bollocks.


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    #70
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,363 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    If you're in Letterkenny General Hospital bring waders , just in case.


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    #71
    Renegade Mechanic
    Registered Users Posts: 7,934 ✭✭✭Renegade Mechanic


    Ive an old spare calving jack if you want me to bring it round, op.


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    #72
    handlemaster
    Registered Users Posts: 6,003 ✭✭✭handlemaster


    Ring the babys father he should be there


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    #73
    Savage93
    Registered Users Posts: 514 ✭✭✭Savage93


    GrayFox208 wrote: »
    I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

    Get a grip for fcuk sake, it could be a lot worse, she could be in Fianna Fail:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D


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    #74
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    mauzo! wrote: »
    And if she gets stitches

    *faints*


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    #75
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    c_man wrote: »
    *faints*

    If that makes you faint don't look down :D

    I had an that burst Hemorrhoid during labour. Sexy.

    Enjoy your dinner :D


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    #76
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    miju wrote: »
    Do women still go on like childbirth requires effort?? **** sake ;)

    Yeah cause pushing a person through a vagina isn't effort... and I had a Hemorrhoid and it exploded during childbirth. I needed forceps, (think salad tongs but way bigger) I needed stitches from my vagina to my arse.

    So to answer your question sir, I shall go on about it FOREVER


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    #77
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    MrsYelnekoff wrote: »
    Yeah cause pushing a person through a vagina isn't effort... and I had a Hemorrhoid and it exploded during childbirth. I needed forceps, (think salad tongs but way bigger) I needed stitches from my vagina to my arse.

    So to answer your question sir, I shall go on about it FOREVER

    I thought it was a piece of cake, and that was with a split pelvis


    :cool: :pac:


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    #78
    minidazzler
    Registered Users Posts: 14,739 ✭✭✭✭minidazzler


    I'll spot you plane fare and some money to get started under a new identity anywhere outside of Europe if you like.


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    #79
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    mauzo! wrote: »
    I thought it was a piece of cake, and that was with a split pelvis


    :cool: :pac:

    I had SPD and they forgot and put my legs in stirrups during the birth. Couldn't walk for weeks AND my sons heartbeat dropped and there was no free theatre so they used her hand to try and stretch me and I was only 8cm and then forceps. Nightmare on elm street. Then she pulled out the placenta and it snapped and splattered everything, all over me. Like a scene for a horror movies.

    So, no it wasn't easy!!!


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    #80
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,363 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    MrsYelnekoff wrote: »
    Yeah cause pushing a person through a vagina isn't effort... and I had a Hemorrhoid and it exploded during childbirth. I needed forceps, (think salad tongs but way bigger) I needed stitches from my vagina to my arse.

    So to answer your question sir, I shall go on about it FOREVER

    Sounds like you delivered a wheelbarrow.


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    #81
    c_man
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,436 ✭✭✭c_man


    MrsYelnekoff wrote: »
    ...

    I was planning on going out tonight, and you know maybe trying my hand at scoring... Not anymore man. No feckin' way.

    Thread is bad!


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    #82
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    c_man wrote: »
    I was planning on going out tonight, and you know maybe trying my hand at scoring... Not anymore man. No feckin' way.

    Thread is bad!

    I'm so happy I ruined it for you, does that make me a bad person??!!


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    #83
    NewMrs2b
    Closed Accounts Posts: 142 ✭✭NewMrs2b


    Maybe OP has hit the gas and air to get through this wonderful time!


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    #84
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    corner of hells wrote: »
    Sounds like you delivered a wheelbarrow.

    My vagina looked like a delivered a wheelbarrow.


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    #85
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    MrsYelnekoff wrote: »
    I had SPD and they forgot and put my legs in stirrups during the birth. Couldn't walk for weeks AND my sons heartbeat dropped and there was no free theatre so they used her hand to try and stretch me and I was only 8cm and then forceps. Nightmare on elm street. Then she pulled out the placenta and it snapped and splattered everything, all over me. Like a scene for a horror movies.

    So, no it wasn't easy!!!

    I could still beat you in the 'my labour was worse than yours' battle that crazy mothers do.

    But it's pointless. The point is, it's worth it, women do it all over the world and it's what we're made to do.

    So good luck to your girlfriend OP, when the baby is out she won't even remember the pain and you'll feel closer to her than ever :)


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    #86
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    mauzo! wrote: »
    I could still beat you in the 'my labour was worse than yours' battle that crazy mothers do.

    But it's pointless. The point is, it's worth it, women do it all over the world and it's what we're made to do.

    So good luck to your girlfriend OP, when the baby is out she won't even remember the pain and you'll feel closer to her than ever :)

    Yes very true! You're right though, totally worth it! AND I would do it again :D

    Parenthood is the best. All jokes aside.


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    #87
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 6,025 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    MrsYelnekoff wrote: »
    I had SPD and they forgot and put my legs in stirrups during the birth. Couldn't walk for weeks AND my sons heartbeat dropped and there was no free theatre so they used her hand to try and stretch me and I was only 8cm and then forceps. Nightmare on elm street. Then she pulled out the placenta and it snapped and splattered everything, all over me. Like a scene for a horror movies.

    So, no it wasn't easy!!!

    Im imaging all the men here fainting over their keyboards after reading your description of labour :D:D


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    #88
    padd b1975
    Registered Users Posts: 10,709 ✭✭✭✭padd b1975


    Get married.


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    #89
    wretcheddomain
    Registered Users Posts: 3,094 ✭✭✭wretcheddomain


    GrayFox208 wrote: »
    I'm freaking out ****. Help. What do what do

    I don't believe you.


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    #90
    Pablodreamsofnew
    Registered Users Posts: 430 ✭✭Pablodreamsofnew


    Jake1 wrote: »
    Im imaging all the men here fainting over their keyboards after reading your description of labour :D:D

    I hope so :D


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    #91
    _Whimsical_
    Registered Users Posts: 7,955 ✭✭✭_Whimsical_


    I say give her our sympathies.
    Nice you took a few mins out to do a review on the vapping forum.Dont want to be getting too stressed now. :rolleyes:


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