Anxiety and/or depression discussion.

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

Very glad to hear about your mother fifty.

I'm fine, wasn't up till 3pm so won't get to bed early tonight and need to be up early tomorrow. I'll cope....

thanks a lot fr336,
i am very glad and relieved too.
well i woke quite late too so i'm up for a while too.
maybe all nighter time for you?:eek:

allandanyways

Me again, back to vent. hope ye lovely folk don't mind.

Have had the week from hell and had my heart ripped out and spat on by the person I thought deserved it the most.

I was reduced to nothing by the words of someone else and to top it all off, I have no money and I'm 99% sure my housemate and love of my life is about to move out and abandon me. Just like everyone else who has ever come into my life. I repel friendship.

Every dark, morbid thought ive ever had has been rippling through my mind and I cannot stop crying. If he leaves me, I'll have hit rock bottom and my poor parents are so worried about me and I can't hide it from them anymore.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Having such a bad anxiety attack, I can't even put the bins out. My life is about to fall apart in front of me and I can't stop it.

Somebody please tell me this is going to get better.

fr336

fiftythree wrote: »

thanks a lot fr336,
i am very glad and relieved too.
well i woke quite late too so i'm up for a while too.
maybe all nighter time for you?:eek:

Yeah I've done many all nighters over the years but the older you get the worse they are :P Or is it just the unhealthier and out of shape I get the worse they are I remember when I was at my smallest weight wise (and admittedly 19) an all nighter breezed by...no trouble at all.

fr336

allandanyways wrote: »

Me again, back to vent. hope ye lovely folk don't mind.

Have had the week from hell and had my heart ripped out and spat on by the person I thought deserved it the most.

I was reduced to nothing by the words of someone else and to top it all off, I have no money and I'm 99% sure my housemate and love of my life is about to move out and abandon me. Just like everyone else who has ever come into my life. I repel friendship.

Every dark, morbid thought ive ever had has been rippling through my mind and I cannot stop crying. If he leaves me, I'll have hit rock bottom and my poor parents are so worried about me and I can't hide it from them anymore.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Having such a bad anxiety attack, I can't even put the bins out. My life is about to fall apart in front of me and I can't stop it.

Somebody please tell me this is going to get better.

Take a first step now if you ask me. Tell your parents and possibly go straight there. You can't look back now, think about your future. Take things one step at a time and realise how many others like him are out there - only they will treat you right.

Hugs

fiftythree

allandanyways wrote: »

Me again, back to vent. hope ye lovely folk don't mind.

Have had the week from hell and had my heart ripped out and spat on by the person I thought deserved it the most.

I was reduced to nothing by the words of someone else and to top it all off, I have no money and I'm 99% sure my housemate and love of my life is about to move out and abandon me. Just like everyone else who has ever come into my life. I repel friendship.

Every dark, morbid thought ive ever had has been rippling through my mind and I cannot stop crying. If he leaves me, I'll have hit rock bottom and my poor parents are so worried about me and I can't hide it from them anymore.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Having such a bad anxiety attack, I can't even put the bins out. My life is about to fall apart in front of me and I can't stop it.

Somebody please tell me this is going to get better.

don't mind the bins they can wait.
sorry to hear that people were cruel to you allandalways.
i just hope things improve for you. will be thinking about you.good luck.

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

Yeah I've done many all nighters over the years but the older you get the worse they are :P Or is it just the unhealthier and out of shape I get the worse they are I remember when I was at my smallest weight wise (and admittedly 19) an all nighter breezed by...no trouble at all.

yes they do get harder to recover from as the years swim over us.
i used to need seemingly no sleep.
i can cope with the odd night of no sleep now but couldn't do it regular.
if you got up at 3 there's little chance of feely tired before morning.
good luck:D

fr336

fiftythree wrote: »

yes they do get harder to recover from as the years swim over us.
i used to need seemingly no sleep.
i can cope with the odd night of no sleep now but couldn't do it regular.
if you got up at 3 there's little chance of feely tired before morning.
good luck:D

It varies...it's so hard to work out. No real pattern to it. Oh well...

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

It varies...it's so hard to work out. No real pattern to it. Oh well...

as long as you can cope with it it should be fine.
no rules saying anyone needs to be up at a certain time etc.

cloudatlas

shezer wrote: »

No one in the world was as sick as me yesterday and Friday night. No one. Vomiting bug had me completely wiped out. Couldn't take the meds with it.

Ive had that twice in the last year. At least it focuses the mind because you can't think of anything but 'when am I going to throw up again?' Very draining. Thin soup and bread is nice when you are recovering.

fr336

fiftythree wrote: »

as long as you can cope with it it should be fine.
no rules saying anyone needs to be up at a certain time etc.

Bad sleep is the root to my anxiety, depression issues. I kind of feel a fraud to even be posting here because it is simply sleep deprivation built up over time and the resulting impact on my life. Admittedly it's been in the background for years, only I just didn't realise. Only when I burnt out a few years ago it came to the fore dramatically.

CZ 453

cloudatlas wrote: »

Ive had that twice in the last year. At least it focuses the mind because you can't think of anything but 'when am I going to throw up again?' Very draining. Thin soup and bread is nice when you are recovering.

Flat 7up the last 2 days seems to have done the trick. You're right though. Focus has been on sleep,sick and beep.

CZ 453

allandanyways wrote: »

Me again, back to vent. hope ye lovely folk don't mind.

Have had the week from hell and had my heart ripped out and spat on by the person I thought deserved it the most.

I was reduced to nothing by the words of someone else and to top it all off, I have no money and I'm 99% sure my housemate and love of my life is about to move out and abandon me. Just like everyone else who has ever come into my life. I repel friendship.

Every dark, morbid thought ive ever had has been rippling through my mind and I cannot stop crying. If he leaves me, I'll have hit rock bottom and my poor parents are so worried about me and I can't hide it from them anymore.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Having such a bad anxiety attack, I can't even put the bins out. My life is about to fall apart in front of me and I can't stop it.

Somebody please tell me this is going to get better.

Everything will be alright. Have you known this person all your life?

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

Bad sleep is the root to my anxiety, depression issues. I kind of feel a fraud to even be posting here because it is simply sleep deprivation built up over time and the resulting impact on my life. Admittedly it's been in the background for years, only I just didn't realise. Only when I burnt out a few years ago it came to the fore dramatically.

regardless of the cause, the end effect still is real.
i feel i could have avoided a lot of this depression/anxiety with better decisions.
so blame myself for a lot. i still feel bad though, regardless of the cause.

cloudatlas

shezer wrote: »

Flat 7up the last 2 days seems to have done the trick. You're right though. Focus has been on sleep,sick and beep.

I didn't forget the beep just censored my post somewhat. Yea not nice at all. At least it's not too long an illness although it seems like ages and ages.

fr336

fiftythree wrote: »

regardless of the cause, the end effect still is real.
i feel i could have avoided a lot of this depression/anxiety with better decisions.
so blame myself for a lot. i still feel bad though, regardless of the cause.

Stop blaming yourself and hell even if the opportunity comes around don't blame others either (well not for long anyway). It's natural to do both but it's also natural not to. You know why? Because not doing so makes us feel good and that is natural in itself.

fiftythree

fr336 wrote: »

Stop blaming yourself and hell even if the opportunity comes around don't blame others either (well not for long anyway). It's natural to do both but it's also natural not to. You know why? Because not doing so makes us feel good and that is natural in itself.

thanks, i never have blamed anyone else for anything really.
i know it is a bit irrational and i try to throw the thoughts out of my head when they enter.thoughts of blame and self criticism.
they keep coming back though.
damn things.

Solobally8

allandanyways wrote: »

Me again, back to vent. hope ye lovely folk don't mind.

Have had the week from hell and had my heart ripped out and spat on by the person I thought deserved it the most.

I was reduced to nothing by the words of someone else and to top it all off, I have no money and I'm 99% sure my housemate and love of my life is about to move out and abandon me. Just like everyone else who has ever come into my life. I repel friendship.

Every dark, morbid thought ive ever had has been rippling through my mind and I cannot stop crying. If he leaves me, I'll have hit rock bottom and my poor parents are so worried about me and I can't hide it from them anymore.

I just want to crawl under a rock and never come out. Having such a bad anxiety attack, I can't even put the bins out. My life is about to fall apart in front of me and I can't stop it.

Somebody please tell me this is going to get better.

Believe me it is going to get better!

Sorry but this is my first time posting here so I don't know ye all but I've been to hell and back for about 20 years with my depression. The thing is I'm now doing so well (even with many negative thoughts, self doubts etc) I really feel I've finally learned the skills necessary to deal with my illness. Long story short after a lifetime of hiding my depression (well I thought I hid it!) I eventually broke down and fell apart. My rock bottom was the beginning of my recovery and I'm so glad I went through it now.

Sorry for waffling on but I just want to say for anyone who thinks things will never get better, I fully believe you can get through it and life will get better.

fr336

fiftythree wrote: »

thanks, i never have blamed anyone else for anything really.
i know it is a bit irrational and i try to throw the thoughts out of my head when they enter.thoughts of blame and self criticism.
they keep coming back though.
damn things.

We're all human. Things just manifest themselves in different ways.

greenfrogs

Solobally8 wrote: »

Believe me it is going to get better!

Sorry but this is my first time posting here so I don't know ye all but I've been to hell and back for about 20 years with my depression. The thing is I'm now doing so well (even with many negative thoughts, self doubts etc) I really feel I've finally learned the skills necessary to deal with my illness. Long story short after a lifetime of hiding my depression (well I thought I hid it!) I eventually broke down and fell apart. My rock bottom was the beginning of my recovery and I'm so glad I went through it now.

Sorry for waffling on but I just want to say for anyone who thinks things will never get better, I fully believe you can get through it and life will get better.

It is so good to hear a positive story. I hit rock bottom a few months ago. I know that it was for the best as my mental health was spiraling out of control. However it still hurts with what happened. I was feeling better for a while but I feel like I am still stuck a rut with very little future. I have no job, no money, a family who rarely speak to me about my illness, no boyfriend, a couple of friends and a very limited social life. I expected a lot more from my life but it didn't happen. I am only in my twenties yet I feel haggard and so pessimistic. I am still on medical certs so at least I don't have the added stress of looking for a job. I feel so incompetent and stupid. I just wish I had one thing going for me :-/

greenfrogs

Solobally8 wrote: »

Believe me it is going to get better!

Sorry but this is my first time posting here so I don't know ye all but I've been to hell and back for about 20 years with my depression. The thing is I'm now doing so well (even with many negative thoughts, self doubts etc) I really feel I've finally learned the skills necessary to deal with my illness. Long story short after a lifetime of hiding my depression (well I thought I hid it!) I eventually broke down and fell apart. My rock bottom was the beginning of my recovery and I'm so glad I went through it now.

Sorry for waffling on but I just want to say for anyone who thinks things will never get better, I fully believe you can get through it and life will get better.

It is so good to hear a positive story. I hit rock bottom a few months ago. I know that it was for the best as my mental health was spiraling out of control. However it still hurts with what happened. I was feeling better for a while but I feel like I am still stuck a rut with very little future. I have no job, no money, a family who rarely speak to me about my illness, no boyfriend, a couple of friends and a very limited social life. I expected a lot more from my life but it didn't happen. I am only in my twenties yet I feel haggard and so pessimistic. I am still on medical certs so at least I don't have the added stress of looking for a job. I feel so incompetent and stupid. I just wish I had one thing going for me :-/
Sometimes I wonder why did I turn out like this. Why can't I manage life like others can?
I wish my post could be more uplifting like the post I quoted.

fiftythree

greenfrogs wrote: »

It is so good to hear a positive story. I hit rock bottom a few months ago. I know that it was for the best as my mental health was spiraling out of control. However it still hurts with what happened. I was feeling better for a while but I feel like I am still stuck a rut with very little future. I have no job, no money, a family who rarely speak to me about my illness, no boyfriend, a couple of friends and a very limited social life. I expected a lot more from my life but it didn't happen. I am only in my twenties yet I feel haggard and so pessimistic. I am still on medical certs so at least I don't have the added stress of looking for a job. I feel so incompetent and stupid. I just wish I had one thing going for me :-/

best of luck to you.
i am sure you have a lot more going for you than you realise now.
you will know that in time. best of luck to you.

greenfrogs

fiftythree wrote: »

best of luck to you.
i am sure you have a lot more going for you than you realise now.
you will know that in time. best of luck to you.

Thank you. I hope you were right.
I am currently in CBT. Does it take a lot of work to turn your life around?

handbagmad

Hiya folks, I've been hovering around in the background here for a few days.

Haven't and don't really have the energy to post. Im fighting in every sense of the word. Mainly physical ailments but I'm getting a little down and frustrated I must admit.

It gives me comfort to see you guys all here posting and chatting x

fiftythree

handbagmad wrote: »

Hiya folks, I've been hovering around in the background here for a few days.

Haven't and don't really have the energy to post. Im fighting in every sense of the word. Mainly physical ailments but I'm getting a little down and frustrated I must admit.

It gives me comfort to see you guys all here posting and chatting x

good you posted handbagmad.
we will all be thinking about you.
know what you mean, hard to explain to people who haven't been there
but it is literally impossible to even type if you are that level of drained.
hope you will be alright soon.

fiftythree

greenfrogs wrote: »

Thank you. I hope you were right.
I am currently in CBT. Does it take a lot of work to turn your life around?

impossible to answer, yes it does take work,
it varies for everyone, and for every case.
you are dealing with it so fair play to you
for starting treatment. i hope you will be ok.

loveisdivine

I feel like my mental health is getting a little out of control. I feel like such a failure but at the same time I can't seem to focus on how I feel about anything.

CZ 453

loveisdivine wrote: »

I feel like my mental health is getting a little out of control. I feel like such a failure but at the same time I can't seem to focus on how I feel about anything.

In what way do you feel like a failure? Is it just a general failure fog hovering over you?

loveisdivine

shezer wrote: »

In what way do you feel like a failure? Is it just a general failure fog hovering over you?

I hurt my husband and damaged the trust between us. Not too seriously (there was no affair or anything like that) but it was enough to trigger my anxiety which seems to be turning into something more than just anxiety.

I feel like a failure for not being able to handle this situation as well as he is. For being able to see the rational but not actually feel it and act on it. For letting the irrational take over.

I feel like I'm failing my husband. Even though he constantly assures me I'm not. Anxiety keep me looking for a reason as to why I'm unhappy, so I start to think "maybe I don't love him anymore" even though I know deep down I do. Then the fact I have those thoughts at all make the anxiety worse.

I desperately don't want to be this way, I know I can be happy because I've only recently started feeling this way. But I don't know how to get there.

I feel like a big mess.

Hugo Stiglitz

Welcome to all the new posters. I hope you all get as much help here as I have

Gongoozler

Is it possible to have a semi panic attack? Forgot I used to get them before I started the anti depressants. I'm off mine completely a week now, and after leaving my boyfriends place there I got quite panicky. Very hard to take a breath. Although maybe it was just because I was trying to stop myself from crying.