Work Related Suicide

bnagrrl

I changed teams last January in work and went from a very understanding approachable manager to one who nit picks and comments on everything I do.

I previously had the Managing director compliment the quality of my work on several occasions and my out put has not changed but my new manager pulls me up on minor things even though I have pointed out to him on number of times his "corrections" are actually erroneous.

No one else on the team has their work commented on publicly like he does with mine. Actually another girl on the team had one work item brought back to her but he assured her if that's the way she does the work then that's fine but if something is brought back to me he wants me to redo it entirely.

Other team members have mentioned he is bullying me but I wasn't sure. I've gone from being someone who enjoyed their job to now dreading going in every day. When I see him approach my desk I feel ill. I'm not sure what to do about this.

old_aussie

Lot of suicides in the middle east that have to do with "on-the-job-training"

old_aussie

old_aussie wrote: »

Lot of suicides in the middle east that have to do with "on-the-job-training"

Plus quite a few due to overworking and lack of health & safety systems.

Graces7

delthedriver wrote: »

Hi All,


As we approach the weekend, I hope this week went well for you at work.


If anyone is in difficulty it is important to make contact with your GP.


On the Legal side an Employment Law Specialist is a must. Should anyone need the name of a contact , please feel free to PM me.


Enjoy life! Life is for living!

gp will only dope you up
not their job

better call one of the many help agencies, listed on the thread on depressipon. also on farming where they have a thread on depression, suicide etc.

get out in thefresh air, eat well, look after you.do what you enjoy. you matter so much

Graces7

bnagrrl wrote: »

I changed teams last January in work and went from a very understanding approachable manager to one who nit picks and comments on everything I do.

I previously had the Managing director compliment the quality of my work on several occasions and my out put has not changed but my new manager pulls me up on minor things even though I have pointed out to him on number of times his "corrections" are actually erroneous.

No one else on the team has their work commented on publicly like he does with mine. Actually another girl on the team had one work item brought back to her but he assured her if that's the way she does the work then that's fine but if something is brought back to me he wants me to redo it entirely.

Other team members have mentioned he is bullying me but I wasn't sure. I've gone from being someone who enjoyed their job to now dreading going in every day. When I see him approach my desk I feel ill. I'm not sure what to do about this.

who is above him?

bnagrrl

Graces7 wrote: »

who is above him?

The Managing Director. The same one who has complimented me many times.

Edit to add: I haven't gone to the MD about this as firstly I'm not sure I am being bullied and secondly I have heard from other members of staff the MD is aware of this manager's behaviour but is unwilling/unable to tackle him on it.

Graces7

bnagrrl wrote: »

The Managing Director. The same one who has complimented me many times.

Edit to add: I haven't gone to the MD about this as firstly I'm not sure I am being bullied and secondly I have heard from other members of staff the MD is aware of this manager's behaviour but is unwilling/unable to tackle him on it.

god help us all... so very sorry maybe do not listen to other staff,, , but i do fully understsnd how hard this is

re my situation i have emailed someone the farmer claims is in his pocket, asking is it true....with elections so near..but then according tothe farmeri am trouble and conniving!

stinkle

bnagrrl wrote: »

The Managing Director. The same one who has complimented me many times.

Edit to add: I haven't gone to the MD about this as firstly I'm not sure I am being bullied and secondly I have heard from other members of staff the MD is aware of this manager's behaviour but is unwilling/unable to tackle him on it.

This angers me and it's widespread. I've had to deal with bullies in work and heard last week that a new person is also getting it. A former workmate reported the bullying culture to the boss and nothing was ever done. It's so damaging for all concerned. I think I'm more angry that the new worker is on the receiving end than I ever was about myself and will do my best to help them.

Graces7

stinkle wrote: »

This angers me and it's widespread. I've had to deal with bullies in work and heard last week that a new person is also getting it. A former workmate reported the bullying culture to the boss and nothing was ever done. It's so damaging for all concerned. I think I'm more angry that the new worker is on the receiving end than I ever was about myself and will do my best to help them.

well done and power to you
action is needed always.
just what i am doing here.

stinkle

Graces7 wrote: »

well done and power to you
action is needed always.
just what i am doing here.

good on you - stay strong. Sounds like you have a lot of people on side, hopefully they feel able to support you too. It's great to know you aren't the only one on the receiving end of such awful behaviour

Graces7

stinkle wrote: »

good on you - stay strong. Sounds like you have a lot of people on side, hopefully they feel able to support you too. It's great to know you aren't the only one on the receiving end of such awful behaviour

only ones on side are the official bodies and my beloved family on the phone! this is kerry...healy rae land...

tomorrow will be interesting to say the least as the bully lies to everyone re anything he has done...always he who is being hard done by... making me out to be some great ogre..all 9 stone of me....wish me luck at the market!

time and the hour run through the roughest day....

stinkle

If it's any consolation other people usually can spot bullies a mile away. Just cos theyre unable to stand up to him doesnt mean they dont see it and arent sympathetic to you. It's not right of course, but he sounds awfully obnoxious and not particularly clever if he goes around slagging you off.

Call Me Jimmy

Fair play to ye Grace. +1 to the fact that other people may not stand up to one, but know there is bullying going on. I find as soon as one person stands up, you will get a lot of these people then standing up. It's a human psychological phenomenon that happens in other areas. I saw a youtube of one guy out on his own in the middle of a field of people dancing for ages like an idiot on his own but he was enjoying himself. He did it long enough that one person joined in and then there was a huge group of people dancing in the same way all around him.

Not that relevant but I liked it.

miss no stars

bnagrrl wrote: »

The Managing Director. The same one who has complimented me many times.

Edit to add: I haven't gone to the MD about this as firstly I'm not sure I am being bullied and secondly I have heard from other members of staff the MD is aware of this manager's behaviour but is unwilling/unable to tackle him on it.

You are being bullied.

I'd ask the MD if you can drop in for a chat. Just phrase it that you're finding it very difficult working under the manager but - maybe it's because your work has always been so good - he seems to be holding you to higher standards than your colleagues and you're finding this different treatment to be demoralizing. Just say that you've gone from being someone who loved getting up for work in the morning to dreading the alarm going off. Ask can he suggest anything.

It might be the impetus the MD needs to do something about it. It's one thing to see what's going on and thing "nah, I didn't see that" to avoid dealing with it even though everyone knows you know what's going on; it's another thing entirely to have a good employee come to you and say "my manager is treating me differently to the rest of my team and it's upsetting me to the point that I no longer like working here". If the MD does nothing - go back to him/her and say that you really need this dealt with. If (s)he still does nothing put your complaint in writing. If your company has a HR department you should find out what their anti-bullying policies and procedures are. Follow the procedures to the letter.

In my last job my supervisor took an instant dislike to me the day I started. I hadn't done a damned thing wrong, it was just a personality clash. I stuck out two and a half years of being dismissed, belittled and frowned at before I left. I was personally insulted, had my family insulted, was called a liar and lazy. What made it worse was another person started the exact same time as me, doing similar work and got every assistance from him and was treated nicely and with respect. There was nobody higher up who would do anything (just one of those work situations). In the end I just said "absolutely nothing is worth being treated with no dignity or respect" and I left. The best decision I EVER made was leaving. I now work for someone who I get along with brilliantly, who is nice, friendly and not at all dismissive. The pay isn't as good, but the difference it made to me is huge.

When you're in a situation like yours, your confidence and happiness will be eroded away, but often in a such a way as you won't notice the extent of it until you get out of that situation. You'll become unhappy and blinkered. You can even end up convincing yourself that the bully is right. It's very important to get out of that situation. It sounds like the MD knows you do good work, they should be open to you.

bnagrrl

Thank you for your post miss no stars

delthedriver

Graces7 wrote: »

gp will only dope you up
not their job

better call one of the many help agencies, listed on the thread on depressipon. also on farming where they have a thread on depression, suicide etc.

get out in thefresh air, eat well, look after you.do what you enjoy. you matter so much

Respectfully, the GP will not necessarily dope you up.!


The GP has a responsibility to you as your Medical Advisor and will advise you on the most appropriate course of action. There are other options available to the GP , for example referring you for Counselling.

delthedriver

miss no stars wrote: »

You are being bullied.

I'd ask the MD if you can drop in for a chat. Just phrase it that you're finding it very difficult working under the manager but - maybe it's because your work has always been so good - he seems to be holding you to higher standards than your colleagues and you're finding this different treatment to be demoralizing. Just say that you've gone from being someone who loved getting up for work in the morning to dreading the alarm going off. Ask can he suggest anything.

It might be the impetus the MD needs to do something about it. It's one thing to see what's going on and thing "nah, I didn't see that" to avoid dealing with it even though everyone knows you know what's going on; it's another thing entirely to have a good employee come to you and say "my manager is treating me differently to the rest of my team and it's upsetting me to the point that I no longer like working here". If the MD does nothing - go back to him/her and say that you really need this dealt with. If (s)he still does nothing put your complaint in writing. If your company has a HR department you should find out what their anti-bullying policies and procedures are. Follow the procedures to the letter.

In my last job my supervisor took an instant dislike to me the day I started. I hadn't done a damned thing wrong, it was just a personality clash. I stuck out two and a half years of being dismissed, belittled and frowned at before I left. I was personally insulted, had my family insulted, was called a liar and lazy. What made it worse was another person started the exact same time as me, doing similar work and got every assistance from him and was treated nicely and with respect. There was nobody higher up who would do anything (just one of those work situations). In the end I just said "absolutely nothing is worth being treated with no dignity or respect" and I left. The best decision I EVER made was leaving. I now work for someone who I get along with brilliantly, who is nice, friendly and not at all dismissive. The pay isn't as good, but the difference it made to me is huge.

When you're in a situation like yours, your confidence and happiness will be eroded away, but often in a such a way as you won't notice the extent of it until you get out of that situation. You'll become unhappy and blinkered. You can even end up convincing yourself that the bully is right. It's very important to get out of that situation. It sounds like the MD knows you do good work, they should be open to you.

Well done! Great post

ilovebiology

Anyone here following Coronation Street? There is a great storyline at the moment with Owen, Gary, and Phelan. Phelan is the workplace bully, and has blackmailed Owen and Gary into doing terrible humiliating work, and completely degrading them.

Owen, Gary and their family are very good at showing just how stressful and life engulfing a situation like this is, and how they were being pushed to breaking point with the pressure they were under, under the control of the vindictive bully Phelan. Its a very good insight to all of this, and is starting to show how someone can be pushed to suicide over time with so much stress and pressure.

Tune in, and have a look, anyone who doesn't follow Coronation Street. You could watch it using On Demand if you have it, or also on YouTube. The storyline began in early February or so, for anyone interested.

Although Gary and Owen are been blackmailed, how they are treated at work by him gets to the essence of this terrible issue, and how one can go to breaking point. The actors are doing a fantastic job, particularly Gary and Owen and the hardship they are suffering, and their family also. I'm glad one of the soaps are highlighting this issue, as an insight into the trauma and the devastating effects on a person, that workplace bullying can have.

Graces7

delthedriver wrote: »

Respectfully, the GP will not necessarily dope you up.!


The GP has a responsibility to you as your Medical Advisor and will advise you on the most appropriate course of action. There are other options available to the GP , for example referring you for Counselling.

sadly but truly this has never ever in a long life been myexperience and ido not see this matter as any responsibility of a gp

responsibilty for my care lies with me and me alone. thankflully i have strong family albeit overseas but in years when this was not so i would call the samaritans

even aweek ago was offered xanax so little has changed.

but on this we will have to differ. i suffered massive medical abuse andyes bullying by drs in the uk for decades. trust has gone and my wishes are to have appointed family as holding my power of attorney so i feel safe with that safeguard

on a different note market today went great. i need to learn my own lsessons, thatfear iswhat bullies inculcate in us.

exhausted as doing things with only one hand wears!

delthedriver

Hi All,


Hope you are enjoying the weekend break.


It is a time to relax, spend time with loved one's get out in the garden and enjoy the spring sunshine.


Please be kind to yourselves.


Life is for living.


If the stress of work is getting you down, please you owe it to yourselves and loved ones to do something about it.


A call to your GP or helplines like Aware and Pieta House are extremely worthwhile.


I recommend visiting your GP and discussing the issues, it is important to follow through on any advice, tests etc. the GP arranges for you.


We are all very precious, and we need to be kind to ourselves.


Give a little thought over the weekend as to how you are going to protect your health , next week , and in the future


Please feel to tell your story here. It helps to focus the mind and get your thoughts down in writing. It may be invaluable when visiting your GP to explain how you really feel.


If anyone wishes to PM , I will do my best to return your message

delthedriver

Hello everyone,


Wishing you all a very Happy Easter !


I hope you are all well and enjoying the fine weather.


Please ensure you get some time out to enjoy the outdoors and relax and perhaps catch up on much needed sleep.


Most importantly, be gentle and kind to yourselves, because you are worth it!


Very warm wishes,


Sincerely

delthedriver

Mods, can we move this thread to Work and Work problems please.


Many thanks ,


delthedriver