Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Need advice on this situation, who's right?

Options
13

Comments

  • Options
    #62
    SparkySpitfire
    Registered Users Posts: 1,331 ✭✭✭SparkySpitfire


    Tasden wrote: »
    Tbh I'd say the exact same for the op.

    It suited her at the time to offer lifts and not request money for fuel but now that op is being asked for money she feels that the girl should pay up for lifts that have nothing to do with the clamping situation.

    If the fuel money was an issue before then op should have dealt with it then, not use it as a petty stick to beat the girl with. Bringing it up now just because the girl wants her money back is just spiteful IMO.

    Not everyone is as forward as the friend in this situation with asking for money off people you consider "friends". With carpooling you shouldn't have to ask for money, it should be just acknowledged that you have to contribute a share. Maybe the OP wasn't comfortable with asking the friend for money? Just because the friend doesn't share these qualms doesn't mean she's in the right.

    I'm sorry but I find it hard to feel sorry for the "poor" scabby college gal who can afford holidays but doesn't have the common decency to cover her daily lift to college. Then when she decides to do a good deed, she reneges on her promise because it suits her? She's a user pure and simple. I have no time for people who think that is acceptable behaviour from a "friend".


  • Options
    #63
    Dubl07
    Registered Users Posts: 1,801 ✭✭✭Dubl07


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    I understand what you're saying here, and I suppose I don't disagree. But I've been driving this girl to college for 3 semesters (A year an a half), soooo she kind of owes me (if thats how we're playing it) a bit more than that €50

    We only have your side of things. She may imagine that since she makes/buys you lunch or stands you an extra round that all is equal in the scheme of things.


  • Options
    #64
    pugsnotdrugs13
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭pugsnotdrugs13


    Dubl07 wrote: »
    We only have your side of things. She may imagine that since she makes/buys you lunch or stands you an extra round that all is equal in the scheme of things.

    Hand on my heart the most she's ever given me was a bottle of 7up to mix the vodka!


  • Options
    #65
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    I understand what you're saying here, and I suppose I don't disagree. But I've been driving this girl to college for 3 semesters (A year an a half), soooo she kind of owes me (if thats how we're playing it) a bit more than that €50

    But she didn't "owe" you until now. Unless it was an issue before now in which case it should have been brought up then.


  • Options
    #66
    pugsnotdrugs13
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭pugsnotdrugs13


    Tasden wrote: »
    But she didn't "owe" you until now. Unless it was an issue before now in which case it should have been brought up then.

    I didn't owe her until now either, according to her. Genuinely.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #67
    end of the road
    Registered Users Posts: 29,031 ✭✭✭✭end of the road


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    Okay so back at the start of February my car got clamped when me and my friend went to visit another friend in student accommodation.

    I had never been there before so was kind of talking like "where should I park?" my friend pointed a small carpark beside a larger one and said there should eb grand and I agreed. We parked and went into the apartments and came out about an hour and a half later, only to find a big yellow clamp on my wheel

    After the freak-out I had with the clamping guy (but no I was in the wrong, just severely p****d off) he told me it was €120. He discounted €20 because I was such a b***h about it. I didn't have €100 at the time on cash or card so i rang my boyfriend to borrow his card until I got the money from my parents or through wages. Anyways it wasn't a problem with my boyfriend who gave me his details to pay with. Then the friend that I was with said she'd pay half. So €50. I was so apologetic and grateful for her contribution (although I was pissed as I felt this was on both of us.) I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too.
    That was fine.
    Until now.

    I got a text from this friend a few days ago, basically saying "i'm broke" and "can I have the clamp money back". Which pissed me off 'cause I'm broke too? I kind of said yes then cause I felt bad, but the more and more I think about it I think it's not fair. She thinks that because I'm getting a few extra hours in work now that I have all this money, (I don't even get minimum wage and she got about €10ph in her last job) I have a car which needs diesel, I have a huge car loan, I have a phone bill, I have groceries to buy. I have loads of things that I'm only getting around to paying off now. Ii have to buy a new laptop for college tomorrow. Like it's only €50, but it's money I don't have?

    And I don't think it's fair since when I offered to pay her back when I could, she refused. I can't get a refund so why should she? I always bring her to college aswell when I can, which is about 15km from home, (and I'm not given a cent for diesel, a contribution would be nice). I'm sorry, this is just how I honestly feel.

    My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.
    you are right, you offered to pay her back and she said no need, tell her to f//k off

    ticking a box on a form does not make you of a religion.



  • Options
    #68
    Teyla Emmagan
    Registered Users Posts: 5,641 ✭✭✭Teyla Emmagan


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    I understand what you're saying here, and I suppose I don't disagree. But I've been driving this girl to college for 3 semesters (A year an a half), soooo she kind of owes me (if thats how we're playing it) a bit more than that €50

    Then text her back, saying exactly that. Just say you are taking the 50 quid off her diesel bill. And remember to put in a lovely passive agressive 'lol' on the end.

    I do think you're in the wrong though. Firstly, it's entirely your own fault you got clamped, not hers. Secondly, you told her you'd pay her back. Thirdly, you have been driving her around like an eejit for ages when neither of you have any money (normally, I would never ask for petrol money from a friend, but if you're going out of your way to pick her up and are both broke, then fair enough). Fourthly, you came in HERE of all places to complain about it.

    Let's face it OP, you haven't put a foot right so far.


  • Options
    #69
    dr.bollocko
    Moderators, Music Moderators Posts: 35,943 Mod ✭✭✭✭dr.bollocko


    Stefan idiot jones banned.


  • Options
    #70
    Cienciano
    Registered Users Posts: 14,260 ✭✭✭✭Cienciano


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    She literally just text me "any story with money i need it to book flights lol"

    Just say you used it to pay for the clamp as she asked and you don't have it.


  • Options
    #71
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    You want permission from AH to feel better about not repaying your debt. You will feel enabled to renege on it because of anonymous posters on the web gave you permission. What do you think of integrity, independent thought, personal values ? I know, I know.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #72
    corner of hells
    Registered Users Posts: 8,365 ✭✭✭corner of hells


    Was this a true story ?


  • Options
    #73
    FizzleSticks
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,172 ✭✭✭FizzleSticks


    This post has been deleted.


  • Options
    #74
    Femme_Fatale
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,628 ✭✭✭Femme_Fatale


    Cantremember wrote: »
    You want permission from AH to feel better about not repaying your debt. You will feel enabled to renege on it because of anonymous posters on the web gave you permission. What do you think of integrity, independent thought, personal values ? I know, I know.
    A debt is a sum of money someone volunteered to give you and said wasn't a loan?

    Some people are leaping to preach on this thread, and to hell with the actual facts.


  • Options
    #75
    3rdDegree
    Registered Users Posts: 1,261 ✭✭✭3rdDegree


    I think what your "friend" is doing is disingenuous. Although the fine was yours, she did agree to cover half of it and is now backing outfof that. She seems like the immature one, not you. That said, I'd pay her and then let her make her own way to college in future. You really don't need friends like her.


  • Options
    #76
    FairytaleGirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 663 ✭✭✭FairytaleGirl


    Pay her back ...

    €5 a week.


  • Options
    #77
    Wompa1
    Registered Users Posts: 8,170 ✭✭✭Wompa1


    Sell your car, give her the 50 euro and drop out of college. All problems solved


  • Options
    #78
    corsica
    Registered Users Posts: 68 ✭✭corsica


    If you offered to pay her back at the time and she declined, then you should remind her of that. If she doesn't agree, pay her but either stop giving her lifts or charge her.


  • Options
    #79
    Flippyfloppy
    Registered Users Posts: 3,748 ✭✭✭Flippyfloppy


    Say yes but only of she can give you back the fifty you gave too.......oooops neither of you can give the fifties back, the clamping guy took it .


  • Options
    #80
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    Femme_Fatale wrote: »
    A debt is a sum of money someone volunteered to give you and said wasn't a loan?

    Some people are leaping to preach on this thread, and to hell with the actual facts.

    A debt is a sum of money that is owed.
    "I told her that I'd pay her back when I came into the money again and she specifically told me don't worry about it, it's half my fault too. " There are the facts. The OP should just read that. I would expect an adult to be able to deal with that issue without crowd sourcing a solution. I don't care that you don't like a public post being preached at on a public forum on the net.


  • Options
    #81
    BetterThanThou
    Registered Users Posts: 944 ✭✭✭BetterThanThou


    I've found out that the best thing to do with your friends is be out straight. You may be broke, but that doesn't mean she knows that. She could be worse off financially than she initially expected, so she's asking you for the money back. You can perceive it as cheeky if you want, but it may be her only option, I doubt she'd offer you the money and take it back a few days later if she didn't need it, €50 can feed someone for a week. Your best bet would to be honest with her, being dishonest destroys friendships.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #82
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    stefan idiot jones wrote: »
    This one is easy.

    I'll give my answer in the form of a question......


    When are women ever right?

    When they aren't menstruating.


  • Options
    #83
    Nolimits
    Registered Users Posts: 1,648 ✭✭✭Nolimits


    I can't help but feel the OP is getting a hard time in here. If the story is exactly how it's been posted (which as has been pointed out is a one sided version) then I'd keep the money.

    The friend was nice enough to offer to pay half the fine, she didn't have to do this but once she did should not be asking for it back. She had also been getting lifts to college for a year and a half for free, this is kinda taking the piss. She should have offered money, she shouldn't need to be asked.

    The only thing I can see that the OP did wrong was say that she would pay her friend back when now she has no intention. This isn't going to go down too well when she now passes on that she won't be paying back and rightfully so.


    As has been already posted, now it comes down to what is more important to you, the friendship or €50, you've already stated that you think she takes advantage of you, is there anything she does offer that you wouldn't want to lose? If there is something else. then maybe you could give her the €50 and at the same time let her know that the free rides are over (I think it would be wrong, as others have suggested to give her an invoice)If not tell her to **** off.


  • Options
    #84
    Penny Tration
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,687 ✭✭✭✭Penny Tration


    Tbh, if it were me, I'd give her the fifty euro to shut her up, then never give her a lift into college again.


  • Options
    #85
    LynnGrace
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,347 ✭✭✭LynnGrace


    corsica wrote: »
    If you offered to pay her back at the time and she declined, then you should remind her of that. If she doesn't agree, pay her but either stop giving her lifts or charge her.

    Agree. Remind her of what was said at the time. If you end up paying her back, start looking straightaway for a contribution for the lifts.


  • Options
    #86
    ubercool
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭ubercool


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    My parents always disliked this girl and time upon time told me she was a user.

    But you used her?? She gave you 50? Did she not?


  • Options
    #87
    MJ23
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,039 ✭✭✭MJ23


    Pay her back, but tell her you want a regular contribution for daysul.


  • Options
    #88
    pugsnotdrugs13
    Registered Users Posts: 63 ✭✭pugsnotdrugs13


    ubercool wrote: »
    But you used her?? She gave you 50? Did she not?

    I didnt ask her for it. I was paying the full fine until she volunteered the half.


  • Options
    #89
    Alter-Ego
    Registered Users Posts: 2,324 ✭✭✭Alter-Ego


    pugsnotdrugs13 wrote: »
    Why are people telling me I owe her. I clearly don't as she said don't worry about it it's her fault too. If you think I should give her the money back that's fine. Just don't tell me I owe her because I don't.

    You start a thread called: "Need advice on this situation, who's right?", people give their opinions on "who's right?".

    Have you come here for peoples opinions, or just for everybody to agree with you?

    'cause the latter ain't happening, love. :pac:


  • Options
    #90
    Wotsername
    Registered Users Posts: 367 ✭✭Wotsername


    Send her an Invoice for petrol used by you to ferry her about etc, (surely at some stage she mentioned paying/repaying) less the 50e she reckons she is owed by you.
    Hey presto! Friendship? over, And lessons learned.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #91
    An Bradán Feasa
    Registered Users Posts: 405 ✭✭An Bradán Feasa


    So, what happened? OP, did you give her the money or not?


Advertisement